Chapter Sixteen #2
The Northby twins shared their memories of childhood and the memories they had of their family and soon they were laughing to the point where they were crying and so were we.
Arrangements were made for the ‘Festival of Iris’, as her memorial party was dubbed. We would do it the following Saturday.
We spent the entire day together, cocooned. Cooking, eating and chatting like the weird makeshift family we were. Just a group of individuals who loved one another in various ways.
I drove Lionel back to the nursing home in the afternoon, walking him to his room and waiting for a nurse to come to get him settled. I gave him an enormous hug and promised to visit next week.
I walked past Iris’s room, but did not go in. I could see all of her things had already been packed up. I could not deal with that just yet.
Once I got back to the house, the drinking began in earnest. I set the girls up with a takeaway and movies on the fold-out lounge, while Kate, Ollie, Evelyn, Jacinta and I sat around a fire out the back.
We made plans to drown our sorrows and for them all to stay.
Kate in Ella’s room, Ollie and Ev in Kate’s old room, and Nanny Jacinta on the smaller lounge next to the girls.
The fire was roaring, music was playing, and Nick, he would have loved this. I looked at the sunset, wondering what the sky looked like where he was right now.
When he realised I had not been paying attention, Ollie reached out, taking my hand, giving me a sympathetic smile. I smiled back, widely, as I was absolutely delighted to see him genuinely on the mend. He looked so much better than the last time I had seen him.
‘That shaved head suits you enormously, Ollie. The scars are giving you a piratical quality. I think you should make up outrageous stories to go along with them. You’re living in Australia, anything could have happened.
Nick once said the rest of the world was terrified of coming here.
So let’s think … Kangaroo fight?’ I suggested.
‘Shark bite, while surfing at Bondi,’ Nanny Jacinta chimed in from the open door.
‘Koala fell on your head?’ Evelyn suggested.
‘Seagull attack at Darling Harbour?’ Kate offered the most plausible one.
He laughed, but immediately winced and we all started fussing, checking if he was okay, but he waved us off.
‘Abbey, about Nick.’
‘Ollie.’ I held up my hand in warning, my eyes pleading with him. The heartbreak was still so raw, and I wasn’t ready yet.
‘No, Abbey, I need to tell you.’
Kate and Evelyn had gone quiet to hear what he would say. Jacinta excused herself discreetly to check on the girls and give us privacy. It was a kind gesture.
‘He was so miserable this week,’ Ollie started. Evelyn nodded in agreement, her eyes downcast. ‘He said he couldn’t stay. That the temptation to be near you was too great, and that you had asked for distance. He agreed to let Summer and Jacinta stay for an additional two weeks with Ev.’
He looked at Evelyn and she withdrew a white paper bag from her tote.
‘He wanted me to give this to you tomorrow for your birthday. But I think, given the circumstances, that you should have it today.’ Oliver gave me a small sympathetic smile.
I tentatively reached out to take the bag from him. There was no card or embellishment, and the bag was not shop-fresh, in that it wasn’t new and it looked as if it had been used before, or worried at. It didn’t look like a present.
Inside was a box and a picture frame. I took the frame out first. It was a wooden frame in a light-oak colour, heavy with a soft, black velvet back.
I turned the frame over and the photo brought instant tears to my eyes.
It was a picture of Nick and me on the beach in the Maldives, at sunset.
A lump rose in my throat. My hair was in mid-flight, caught by the wind, and I had obviously been swimming that day, from the amount of wayward curls I had.
I was laughing at something he was saying.
I couldn’t remember what. My right hand was over my grandmother’s necklace, the other over his hand.
His arm was wrapped firmly around my waist, the other extended to snap the shot.
His chin was over my shoulder, sitting on top of a black sleeveless tee I had on, and his gorgeous dark waves were all over the place.
He was pulling a face of concentration, trying to get the ocean into the background.
It was the perfect, imperfect picture of the perfect holiday.
I felt a tear escape and roll down my cheek and a few more quickly followed. I brushed them away with the back of my hand and passed the picture to Kate, while I reached back into the bag to retrieve the box.
I already knew in my heart what was in it. My hands trembled as I struggled to remove the lid. The white cardboard box had nothing distinguishable about it. Inside were three empty corners and then pooled in the last corner I looked at, was my necklace.
I lifted it out and ran my thumb over the pendant.
The chain was new, but the pendant was definitely my grandmother’s.
A choked sob escaped me, and I clutched it to my chest. That this would come back to me today was the greatest of miracles.
A much-needed reminder she was always here, even if she wasn’t.
Kate rose to embrace me, wiping her own tears, as Ollie reached for my leg in comfort. They let me cry over the loss of my gran and Nick. Evelyn grabbed tissues and another bottle of wine.
Kate stood, took the pendant from me, and looped it around my neck before securing the clasp.
‘How did he …?’ I was struggling to speak.
‘He had those two kids that own the boat looking for it from the minute you lost it. He got them sorted out with scuba gear and a metal detector. Oh, and the promise of a boat upgrade. He had word from the resort that it had been found on the beach of the private island. He had Monica fly over to pick it up and bring it here.’
Jesus Christ, Nick.
I stood up and hugged Ollie and, in the absence of his brother, it was an enormous hug that went on a really, really unprofessional length of time.
I was so grateful to have met the two of them on the island. The love that I had for Nick was so very much more than anything I had ever experienced, but Ollie and the rest of Nick’s family were a gift I had never expected, either.
We had a late dinner of soup and homemade bread that Evelyn had magically produced from random things in my pantry, and then there was more wine and music and laughter and some tears.
It got to just after one and we were fading, the kids already asleep inside.
I stood and began to collect glasses, mentally preparing a list of blankets and pillows needed for our unexpected house guests.
I took the handful I had to the kitchen before coming back out for another lot.
I leaned over Ollie to pick up his glass.
‘Abbey.’
His voice came from behind me, and I gave myself a moment before turning around to look at him.
Nick.
His frame filled the back door, and he stepped down to the yard. He looked cosy in a black cashmere jumper and black jeans. The look on his face was one I would never forget. He looked exhausted, yet somehow flushed with colour, as though he had run here.
I think my bottom lip fell, or trembled, or my face showed I was about to burst into tears, and he lifted his palms up to me in a plea to let him speak.
‘Abbey, I— Oh, hey.’ He noticed his brother, sister and Kate sitting around the fire. ‘Everyone’s here.’
‘Did you get my message, Nick?’ Ollie asked.
‘Message? I only landed twenty minutes ago. What are you guys all doing here?’
‘Shivah,’ Evelyn said. ‘For Iris.’
Nick’s hand flew to his chest. ‘Iris died?’
‘This morning,’ Kate said, brushing away tears.
‘Oh, Jesus. Abbey, Kate, I’m so sorry …’ He choked on a sob. ‘She was such a great lady and I’m’ – he sniffed – ‘I’m so glad I met her.’
‘Abbey,’ Kate whispered to me, because I had not moved to comfort him.
‘No, Kate. No.’ He shook his head, pushed away the tears for Iris. ‘It’s okay. Abbey is right to be wary. I have not given her very many reasons to trust me. I, uh, I have not given Abbey the one thing she offered me straight away. Honesty.’
I was taking deep, purposeful breaths.
‘If I were honest the first night I met Abbey, I would have told her I was completely captivated.
Straight away. If I were honest, I would have told her that the first time she agreed to have dinner with me, my heart soared, and I was nervous as hell.
I would have told her that I was completely intoxicated by the end of that holiday.
‘I should never have let my lawyers interview you. I knew you. I should have defended you, Abbey. I got that so wrong.
‘I should have danced with you at that party. I regret that. I will never, ever put my business needs above your needs ever again, I give you my word.’ He took a tentative step towards me.
‘I have fucked this up in so many ways. I can only profess complete and utter madness. I was in love with you before I got to Sydney and every single second I have spent beside you, Abs, has made me fall even further. I should have told you I loved you every single one of those days, Abbey. I should have fallen to my knees every day and begged for you to be mine. I know it may be too late …’ His voice broke, and I watched as his hand moved across his chest as if he was trying to stop his insides from falling out.
‘And you may not feel like you can forgive me for being so fucking useless. But, Abbey, if you let me, I will spend every day of the rest of our lives making certain you are cared for, reminding you that you are enough for anyone, respecting every boundary you set. Reminding you that you are way too good for me, and I will love you with my whole being for as long as you let me.’
There was silence as he, and our family, waited for my response. Only the fire behind us dared to breathe.