Chapter 25
Mack did not answer. She fast-walked out of Gasoline Alley, no idea where she was going but desperate to get away, both from Kelley and from anyone who might see them together.
“What is your problem?” he asked, easily keeping pace with her as she marched through the paddock. “I came here to check up on Shaw, to make sure she’s getting what she needs. That’s in my rights as her father.”
“If you’re here to see Shaw, you should actually spend time with her instead of harassing me.” She didn’t want him near her daughter, but she knew it was the right thing to say, and that Laurie would never leave Kelley alone with Shaw.
“Harassing?” Kelley made a face. “I’m trying to help you, Mack. I’m worried about you.” Kelley grabbed her elbow, and she shook him off with a sharp snap.
“Don’t. Touch. Me.”
He removed his hand but gave her a look of stomach-curdling pity. “You’re embarrassing yourself, Mack. Why are you even here?”
Why am I here? She was furious that his words echoed her own concerns. She’d found pace yesterday at practice, but her ability to make the Indy 500 remained a giant question mark.
“Fuck you,” she said, forgetting to be calm and mature.
The shock of his appearance was wearing off, replaced by white-hot rage.
How had she ever found this man attractive?
And why was she stupid enough to link her life with his forever by having a child with him?
She doubled her pace. “My work has absolutely nothing to do with you.”
He caught up to her quickly, his long legs eating the pavement twice as fast as her own.
“Your work?” he mocked. “Your work is selling overpriced beer to rednecks. This is . . .” He gestured around them, shaking his head.
“I don’t know what this is, Mack, but it makes me wonder about your mental state.
You haven’t raced for years and you think you can win the Indy 500?
” He barked a laugh. “You’re making a joke of yourself, trying to race but partying like you’re a teenager. I’m worried about you.”
Panic mixed with her anger. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s all over social media. You’re staying out all night, fooling around with Leo Raisman, screaming at people.”
She knew she shouldn’t rise to the bait but she couldn’t stop herself. “Of course I spend time with Leo. He’s my teammate.”
Kelley squinted at her. “You’re sleeping with him while our daughter is living in a van.”
“It’s not like that!”
Kelley shrugged. “I don’t care who you whore yourself out to. I told you, I’m worried about Shaw. It isn’t good for her to see you make such a spectacle of yourself. This”—he waved his hands around, encompassing the track—“this whole ridiculous thing is not good for her.”
“Oh, and you’re a paragon of parenthood?” Mack hissed. She was losing control of the situation fast, her panic and rage and anxiety swirling together. Her vision began to narrow. “What do you want? Be a fucking adult and admit what you’re doing here.”
I will get custody of Shaw and move her to Spain and you’ll never see her again.
She wanted to hear him say it out loud. She’d lived so long with the specter of losing Shaw that she needed to hear him say the words.
But before he could give her any satisfaction, someone called his name.
The manager of one of the large racing teams held out a hand and they greeted each other with dude-to-dude back slapping.
As if they hadn’t been in the middle of a conversation, Kelley turned and started chatting with the manager.
Mack watched as one conversation rolled into another, with drivers and fans and crew all coming over to say hello to the bad boy of motorcycle racing.
In the hierarchy of motorsports, MotoGP racers were like fighter jet pilots: a lot of excitement, a little unhinged.
With each new back slap, Kelley rehashed his monster wreck, describing how tough he was during recovery, how he felt better than ever now.
Mack left Kelley to preen under the attention and plunged through the pandemonium of the busy paddock, no idea where she was going or where she was supposed to be.
Her mind seethed with the things Kelley had said.
Was she really embarrassing herself by trying to make the Indy 500?
What the hell was on social media about her and Leo?
She was lost in her own mind when someone called out her name.
Mack turned and saw a well-known reporter holding a microphone and wearing a Motosport logoed polo, a cameraman hovering close behind her.
Hana Park had won a European women’s-only racing series twice, and despite promises from Formula One that the program would lead to more opportunities for women in F1, she got no offers.
She’d done a few stints in Australia and Japan before transitioning into an astute and well-liked reporter for the premier North American racing channel.
“Mack, do you have a moment to speak with Motosport?”
Mack looked over her shoulder to see that Kelley was fully occupied. She’d yet to have an on-camera interview, and not only would it get her good attention, it would throw Kelley’s words right back in his face. She wasn’t a laughingstock; she was here to race. “Of course.”
While the camera guy adjusted the shot, Mack straightened her shirt, making sure the JJR logo was visible, and tried to forget Kelley. Hana positioned Mack so that the track was at her back and smoothed down a lock of Mack’s flyaway hair before giving a countdown signal.
“I’m here at Indianapolis Motor Speedway, where teams are making last-minute preparations for qualification day.
With me is rookie Mack Williams, the only woman vying to make this year’s field.
” She turned toward Mack. “Mack, you’re new to IndyCar.
Tell us what it’s like to run this track for the first time. ”
Mack mined her brain for the PR training she’d done at JJR’s office, grateful for the softball question.
Most IndyCar reporters took it easy on drivers but Hana was known to throw occasional punches.
“Hi, Hana. It’s wild and humbling to drive at this place.
Indy means so much. I’ve been watching this race since I was—oof. ”
“Mama! I met Leo Raisman!”
Shaw slammed into her side and Mack looked up to see Laurie wearing an expression of unbridled horror. Aware that the camera was rolling and there was nothing else to do, Mack laughed and gestured at her daughter. “Well, I’ve been coming here since I was my daughter’s age.”
Hana’s eyes lit up. “And this is your daughter?”
Mack looked right into the camera and told the truth. “Yes. I can’t tell you what it means to me to have my family here today. It’s a dream come true.”
Just as Hana started to ask another question, Kelley sauntered into the frame and stood on the other side of Shaw. Hana stopped midsentence as her eyes bounced between Mack and Kelley and the spot where Kelley rested a proprietary hand on Shaw’s shoulder.
Hana blinked rapidly but recovered quickly. “Oh my! Folks, joining us is MotoGP star Kelley Caruthers!”
Mack willed her face to stay blank but she suspected it was turning pink anyway. She was a little flustered by Shaw’s presence, but she was utterly humiliated by Kelley’s. He might as well have pissed on her and Shaw to mark his territory.
“Hey there, Hana.” Kelley soaked up the attention like a dry chamois towel, standing ever so slightly in front of Mack and Shaw. Another inch and he’d topple his own daughter.
“Kelley, it’s great to see you back racing after that monster wreck!”
“It’s great to be back, Hana,” he said smoothly. “My entire focus for the past year has been on recovery and training. Motorcycle racing is my only reason for living. Nothing else matters.”
Hana blinked, seemingly unsure how to respond. Mack could feel the tension in Shaw’s body, the way she held her arms tight to her sides.
“You should come across the pond and cover two-wheel racing. More exciting.” Kelley winked and smiled like a goddamn toothpaste commercial, even as his hand still rested on Shaw’s shoulder.
Unbidden, Mack thought of Leo, his genuine smile and comfort with not being the center of attention. Nothing like Kelley’s slick, sleazy arrogance.
Hana recovered and gestured around. “But even you couldn’t stay away from the excitement of Indianapolis in May!”
Suddenly, Kelley pushed past Mack and Shaw. “Hey, man!” He clasped hands with a figure in a black polo shirt, and when they pulled away, Mack saw Mario Andretti. If there was such thing as track royalty, Mario was king.
“Hey hey, Motorcycle Boy!”
Mack could tell by the angle of the camera that she was completely out of the shot now as the cameraman tracked Kelley and Mario’s reunion. “You see this guy?” Kelley hooted. “My old buddy Mario is here!”
Ever affable, Mario clapped Kelley on the shoulder. “Heard you’re racing again. It’s hard to stay away, eh?”
“I’ll be dead before they take me off the bike.” Kelley grinned, not at Mario, but directly at the camera. Next to her, Shaw flinched. Mack reached for her daughter’s hand and squeezed tightly, wishing she could dick-punch her child’s father on national TV.
Hana touched her earpiece, then flicked her hand and the cameraman lowered the bulky equipment. “Riley Motors is doing a last-minute engine switch and we need to report on it. I’m sorry, Mack.”
Mack smiled but it felt fake even to her.
She felt as nauseated as she had after the first day of practice, as if she were under g-forces instead of locked into a power struggle with her ex.
Today was supposed to be the biggest day of her life, the day she achieved her biggest dream, and instead she was sinking deeper and deeper into an emotional quagmire.
“Can I get a redo later? Maybe after your qualification run?” Hana looked pointedly at Kelley. “We’ll do it over the wall. Solo.”
What else was there to say? Mack nodded. “Yeah. Thanks, Hana.”
Hana leaned in, her voice low. “Go show the boys how it’s done. I’ll be rooting for you this month.” She wound the microphone cord around her wrist and nodded behind Mack. “Hey, Leo. One-on-one interview later? Maybe a JJR teammate interview?”
Mack whirled around to see Leo standing behind her. His eyes flicked from Mack to Shaw to Kelley, a look of revulsion on his face.