Chapter 31
THIRTY-ONE
VANESSA
I slowly pry open my eyes. The crying through the baby monitor has been going off for the last few minutes.
Looking at the alarm clock, it’s almost seven in the morning.
Pulling myself out of bed, I put on my robe and walk out of the room to the nursery next door.
It’s been almost a year since Mateo left on a plane to Italy, and I haven’t heard from him since.
No one has. Every morning I wake up hoping that one day he’ll walk through the door, but I’m starting to falter.
Walking into the nursery, there they are—my pride and joy and possibly the last living memory of Mateo.
Victoria Mattea and Julian Matthew. The names Mateo had been set on, and their middle names are different versions of his.
When they were born, I didn’t know, and still don’t know, if I’ll see their father again, so I named them after him.
Every time I look at them, I’m flooded with memories from the last year.
I left my job at the hospital after Alonso and Lauren convinced me it was the best decision.
I didn’t know what else to do. I wanted to be home as much as possible, just in case Mateo walked through that door.
Lauren, Tanner, and I still talk. When I told them Mateo had gone missing, they completely understood why I needed to be home.
Lauren came up with the idea of texting Mateo updates, just in case he ever turned on his phone.
But after over five hundred messages, none have been read.
The twins were born almost a month early, and I needed an emergency C-section.
They had to stay in the NICU for a few days because they were so small, but luckily they were able to come home after eight days in the hospital.
Juliet comes over every day to help me, and Alonso has become one of my closest friends.
Gino basically assigned him to live with me.
But over the last year, I’ve been kept in the dark. They won’t tell me anything beyond the fact that Mateo is alive—which I’ve had many words with my brother about.
A week ago, Gino sent Alonso on a trip, and of course he wouldn’t tell me where.
So now I’m worried about not just my husband, but one of my best friends being gone too.
Luckily Alonso has been texting me, but he still won’t say where he is.
I understand that they don’t want to scare me, but I’ve told them I can handle it.
No matter what I say, I think they’re scared of my reaction once I finally find out.
Working on autopilot, I get them both dressed and ready for the day. Victoria in a light purple onesie and Julian in a light yellow one. Like I do every morning, I send a text to Mateo with pictures of the kids.
Me
Good morning, baby. Julian, Victoria, and I miss you so much. They still haven’t settled into a good sleeping schedule yet, but I’m trying. I can’t wait to see you—and for you to see the kids. I love you so much. Come home soon.
I stare at the phone for a solid minute, hoping it will flip to read. It doesn’t.
Julian starts crying, pulling me out of my trance.
“Hi, sweet boy,” I say, and he smiles up at me from the changing table.
I scoop them both up and head downstairs. After settling them into their high chairs in the kitchen, I get their formula ready. While it warms, I start making myself breakfast and coffee.
I feed them each their bottles and quickly eat my bagel. When I glance at the clock, I realize it’s almost eight. Juliet will probably be here in half an hour, so I should get dressed.
I carry the twins back upstairs, one on each hip, and walk into the master bedroom. I lay them on the bed and quickly pull on leggings and a blue T-shirt.
At my jewelry box, I reach for the one piece I wear besides my wedding and engagement rings. It’s a necklace—a ring-holder necklace. Mateo gave it to me shortly after we got married so I could keep my rings around my neck while working instead of wearing them under gloves.
Now it holds Mateo’s wedding ring.
The chain is gold, just like the ring. The pendant is an open rhombus shape with a small diamond set into the bottom. His ring hasn’t left it since Gino handed it to me after they broke into Mateo’s hotel room and recovered his things.
I walk over to the bed and sit down, holding the necklace and staring at it for a moment. “I just hope your daddy comes home soon,” I whisper, looking down at Victoria and Julian.
I pick them both up again and head back downstairs.
After setting them in the playpen, I sink onto the couch and turn on the TV.
Some reality show plays in the background, but I barely see it.
My eyes start to burn, just like they do every morning.
The emotions hit all at once—sadness, anger, fear.
I know it’s a mix of postpartum depression and the constant anxiety of not knowing where Mateo is.
Before I realize it, it’s almost ten, and Juliet still hasn’t shown up. She’s always here before nine.
I head back into the kitchen to make more bottles for the twins.
In the mornings I prefer to bottle-feed them and breastfeed later in the day.
After warming the bottles, I carry them into the living room and set them on the coffee table.
I lay each baby on the couch, sit between them, and start feeding them.
That’s when I hear the front door open and close.
Footsteps move down the hall, but I’m so focused on the babies that I don’t turn to see who it is.
“Hey, Juliet,” I call out. “You’re late,” I add jokingly.
Nothing.
No response.
Weird.
“Okay, I was kidding,” I say. Still nothing.
The hairs on the back of my neck stick up. I can feel someone behind me.
“Juliet, I was joking. I heard you come in,” I say, not daring to turn around.
Silence.
My chest tightens. I’m starting to panic.
I glance up and catch a reflection in the TV screen.
Someone tall.
Oh God.
Someone is in my house.
My mind races. Who breaks into a house at ten in the morning? Who would come here?
I go completely still, fear locking my body in place. My only thought is the twins. I have to protect them—no matter what.
I feel whoever it is step closer, until they’re right behind the couch. Then hands settle on my shoulders, heavy and solid, sending a jolt of terror through me.
I feel warm breath brush my right ear. I try to pull away, but fear has me frozen.
“Sweetheart, don’t pull away.”
That voice.
I haven’t heard it in so long, but I know it instantly. Soft, rough, familiar in a way that makes my chest ache.
My body tries to move, but my mind tells me it has to be a hallucination.
“Baby.”
Before I can answer, he moves around the couch and drops into a crouch in front of me, wincing as he does. I’m still frozen, caught between terror and disbelief.
It’s him.
Mateo.
My husband.
He lifts his hand and gently tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear, and that small, tender motion breaks something open inside me. No one else ever touches me like that.
He pulls me forward until our foreheads touch, grounding me, anchoring me, and then his lips find mine in a soft, trembling kiss. A single tear slips down my cheek.
“How the hell did you get home?” I whisper.
He smiles softly. “Your new best friend saved my ass.”
I stare at him. “So he told you he’s been the one putting up with my shit this whole time?”
Before anything else can be said, I grab his arm and start looking him over, searching for blood, scars—anything. “How bad were your injuries?”
“Nothing. Just some cuts and bruises. The hospital kept me under for a few days to make sure I healed.”
“Don’t lie to me.” My voice sharpens. “They don’t sedate someone for cuts and bruises.”
He exhales slowly. “I don’t want to scare you.”
“Scare me?” My voice cracks. “I’ve been terrified for almost a year. I’m allowed to be pissed.”
Victoria gurgles beside me. “Well, hello, baby girl,” he murmurs, eyes flicking to her while his hand stays on my cheek. “Can I?”
“Can you what?”
“Hold her.”
“You don’t need to ask. She’s your daughter too.” I laugh softly.
He steps closer, standing over her. “I don’t know how to hold her. I don’t want to drop her.”
There he is, the man I love. Not pretending to know everything. Just honest.
“Well, first of all, she isn’t a newborn anymore, so you don’t have to worry about her being that fragile.”
“Were they small?” he asks quickly.
“Huh?”
“When they were born… were they small?”
“Yeah,” I say softly. “Julian was five pounds, eight ounces. Victoria was five pounds, four ounces. Pretty average for twins.”
“Okay.” His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.
He sits beside her, and I gently lift her up and place her in his arms.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” he murmurs.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You were being held hostage in another country.”
“Did Gino tell you they found me?”
“No,” I deadpan. “If he did, I would’ve tried to go with them, which we both know would’ve been a terrible idea.”
He lets out a soft laugh. “Yeah. I saw you’ve been texting me like crazy.”
“Well, I didn’t know when you’d be home, and Lauren thought it was a good idea to keep you updated.” I pause. “Wait… how do you know that?”
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. “Your brother kept this. I don’t think he wanted you to stop texting me. He said it helped you cope while I was gone.”
“Yeah.” I lift Julian and cradle him against my chest.
“So… what are their names?”
I give him a sideways look. “I feel like you already know.”
“I don’t,” he says with a smile. “I have a guess from your last text, but humor me.”
“Well, you’re holding Victoria Mattea, who’s two minutes younger than her brother, Julian Matthew.”
“Mattea and Matthew?” His brows lift. “How’d you pick those middle names?”
“They’re different versions of your name. I wanted, no, I needed, them to have something that tied them to you.”
He exhales softly. “Then the next kid we have, I get to pick.”
“Are they really that bad?” I laugh. “You picked their first names, remember?”
“They’re not bad at all. But the next kid needs to have a version of your name in there too.”
How has he been home for less than ten minutes and he’s already talking about another baby? And how am I falling in love with him all over again?
He turns toward me, his gaze dropping to the necklace at my chest. I follow his eyes. When I look back up, there’s a flicker of something raw in his expression, something he’s trying hard to hide.
“Do you want it back?” I ask softly, glancing down at his wedding ring.
“It looks beautiful there,” he murmurs, “but yeah… I do.”
I shift Julian into my lap and reach for the necklace, slipping his ring free and holding it out in my palm. He stares at it for a second before taking it and sliding it back onto his finger.
“That’s better,” he says quietly. “Don’t get me wrong, I loved that you were wearing it, but I need it back so I can feel like I’m home.”
“Well, you are home,” I say, “and don’t you ever fucking do that shit again.”
“I promise there will be no trips to Italy for the foreseeable future.”
We sit on the couch a little longer, the TV murmuring in the background, neither of us really watching. When Victoria starts to cry, I gently take her from Mateo’s arms and head upstairs with both of them. He follows close behind.
Getting to the nursery, I step inside while Mateo lingers in the doorway.
I set Julian in his crib, change Victoria, then change Julian.
When I look up, Mateo is staring at the sign on the nursery door.
When they were born, I had their names made into plaques and hung there. Something I’d always wanted.
“What is it?” I ask quietly.
He clears his throat. “You’ve been doing all of this by yourself?”
“Juliet comes over during the day to help,” I say. “So not completely by myself.”
I place Julian in his crib, turn on the white noise, then take Mateo’s hand and flip off the light. “Come on. They need a nap.”
We step into our room, and I reach for the baby monitor on my side of the bed. Mateo stops.
“I don’t know why you stayed here,” he says softly. “You could have stayed with Gino. He and Juliet could’ve helped more than just during the day.”
“I didn’t want to burden anyone, and I didn’t want to be away from the house if you came home.”
He steps in front of me, lifts my chin, and looks into my eyes, his green gaze piercing straight through me.
“You’re too selfless sometimes. But I’m really glad you were home when I got here.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” he says hoarsely. “And trust me, I’m never leaving again.”
Then he kisses me, slow and searing, like he’s trying to make up for every moment we lost.