Chapter 32
THIRTY-TWO
MATEO
I have kids. Two of them. And they are the cutest things I’ve ever seen, aside from their mom, of course.
After their nap, Vanessa shows me the basics of taking care of them. I can see the stress written all over her face, and I know it’s because of me. Today has made it painfully clear how much I’ve missed. Julian won’t let me hold him without crying, and Vanessa keeps telling me he’ll warm up to me.
But what if I missed too much?
We have dinner, and after we put the twins down in their nursery, I decide I need a shower. Vanessa heads downstairs to clean up.
In our bedroom, I step into the bathroom and realize how little has changed. My cologne is still on the counter. My body wash is still in the same spot. She didn’t move a thing.
I shower quickly, rinsing off the sweat and grime of the day. When I step out, I pull on a pair of gray sweatpants from the same drawer I left them in, and for the first time in a year, it feels like I’m actually home.
I head downstairs and into the kitchen. Vanessa has already cleaned almost everything, and I wasn’t even gone ten minutes.
I come up behind her and rest my hands on her waist. She startles slightly, and before I can slide them over her stomach, she gently moves them back.
“Hey,” I murmur into her ear. “You cleaned up fast.”
“Yeah,” she says. “I’m on a timer.”
“What do you mean?”
“Before one of them wakes up.” She points toward the stairs.
“Oh.” I smile. “Anything I can help with?”
“I’m going to clean up the living room next, if you just want to sit on the couch.”
“I’m not sitting on the couch. I’m helping.”
“Okay.”
She heads into the living room, where we spent most of the day. She’s already filled me in on her pregnancy, how the twins were born early and spent time in the NICU, how they’re hitting all the milestones now.
I watch her for a moment before speaking. “I know you gave me the rundown on them, but what about you? What have you been doing?”
“I quit my job and stayed here most of the time. Anytime someone got hurt and didn’t need the hospital, I handled it at Gino’s house.”
I watch her closely, wanting her to keep going.
“After I worked at the hospital for two weeks after you were kidnapped, I got too scared. I kept thinking I’d get bad news while I was there and wouldn’t be close enough to do anything.
I needed something that kept me busy but also kept me close.
” She exhales. “Alonso talked me through everything he could at Gino’s—”
“Gino didn’t tell you anything?” I mutter. The overprotective brother routine clearly didn’t help.
“He told me enough,” she says. “But Alonso kept me in the loop about what was happening outside of what Gino told me. Not everything, though. I knew they were holding back. They didn’t want me so scared that I’d shut down.” She sighs. “Now that you’re home, will you please tell me something?”
“I don’t want you to hate your brother, because I know he did everything he could.
But it was torture. Real torture. They cut me.
Burned me. When that didn’t work, they went after me mentally.
They never mentioned you, though. If they had, I would’ve tried to kill them, and that probably would’ve gotten me killed. ”
She stops, turning to me with wet eyes. I pull her into my arms, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair.
“I don’t think you planned on doing all of this your first day home,” she says quietly, glancing around the now-clean living room.
“No,” I murmur, kissing her softly. “But this is exactly where I want to be. It’s getting late. We should go to bed.”
“Okay,” she whispers.
I take her hand and lead her upstairs to our bedroom. Once inside, I guide her to the bed and lift the hem of her blue T-shirt, pulling it gently over her head.
“I should probably shower,” she says.
“If you want,” I murmur, “but you don’t. You look perfect.”
She snickers. “I promise I’ll only be ten minutes. I’ve mastered the art of fast showering.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” I kiss her forehead, and she all but runs to the bathroom.
Almost the second the door clicks shut, the baby monitor crackles with crying. Then the second one joins in.
I sigh and head down the hall toward the nursery.
When I open the door, I pause, taking a steadying breath. I can do this.
Both cribs are in front of me, two tiny faces staring back.
“Alright,” I mutter, bracing my hands on the rails, “which one of you started all that?”
Victoria makes a sound that’s almost a giggle. Julian just looks at me like I’ve ruined his entire existence.
Yeah, same, buddy.
Julian starts fussing, so I lift him out of his crib, which only makes him wail louder.
“Okay, okay,” I murmur, rocking him. “Let’s not freak your mom out.”
He settles a little, still sniffling.
“What do you need, huh?” I check his diaper out of instinct. It’s fine. They just ate. That’s not it.
I spot the rocking chair in the corner.
Shifting Julian to my left side, I scoop up Victoria with my right arm and carry them both over, lowering myself into the chair.
“Alright,” I whisper. “Let’s try this together.”
Holding both of them brings a strange, steady calm. For years I’ve wanted to be a father, to be the person someone runs to when they scrape their knee or get their heart broken. I wanted to teach a kid how to ride a bike, how to throw a football.
Now I have it. With these two.
I glance down and realize they’re both asleep. A slow smile spreads across my face. I actually did it.
I don’t know how long I sit there before I feel the weight shift. Panic jolts through me and my eyes fly open. Vanessa has already put Victoria back in her crib and is standing in front of me.
“Sorry,” I mumble, yawning.
“It’s okay,” she whispers.
She gently lifts Julian from my arms and kisses my forehead. I watch her as she settles him into his crib, then I stand and move in behind her.
“They are pretty fucking cute. I’m just saying,” I whisper in her ear. She snickers. “They also have a pretty hot mom.”
She laughs. I kiss her neck, and she moans.
“Honest question. How long do you think they’ll be asleep?”
“An hour, tops, I bet.” She smirks.
“I better make this hour count.”
“Count for what?” she asks, quirking an eyebrow.
Before I answer, I turn her around and crash my mouth against hers.
She giggles as I grab her hand and lead her out of the room, closing the nursery door behind us.
Walking down the hall, I can’t help myself.
I pull her close, pressing her back against the wall beside the bedroom door.
I cup her face and kiss her again, hungry and demanding.
Wanting to explore her body, I slide my hands over the lingerie she’s wearing now.
A thin black dress, mid-thigh, clinging to every curve, and the sight of it makes my cock strain hard against my sweats. My mouth waters.
I slide my hands down to the hem of her dress and start to pull it up. She looks up at me with those soft eyes, full of want. Her hands press against my cock, and she giggles.
“We haven’t done this in a while,” she says, teasing.
“No, we haven’t.” I smile at her. “I think we should head in there.” I tilt my head toward the bedroom.
She nods, and I take her hand, leading her inside.
Once she’s through the door, I turn and close it behind us.
I move her back until she’s leaning against it, then brace my hands on either side of her head, boxing her in.
I kiss her again, slow and deliberate, before breaking away to tug her dress over her head and toss it to the floor.
She grabs my shirt and pulls it over my head.
I hook my fingers into the waistband of my sweats and drag them down, boxers and all, kicking them aside. She slips her thong down her legs and steps out of it.
I smirk as I take her in. Her body hasn’t changed at all.
If anything, she’s even more beautiful than I remember.
Her skin is soft, warm beneath my hands, warmer than my memory, though that might just be the cold we’ve been living in lately.
I let my gaze linger, really seeing her, and I notice how much she has changed over the last year.
The good changes. The scar on her stomach from giving birth to our kids. The quiet protectiveness in her eyes that wasn’t there before. And then there’s the ache I recognize too, the weight of the last year spent alone in this room. She won’t say it out loud, but I see it.
I grab her hand and pull her to the other side of the room, pushing her gently onto the bed. She settles back against the pillows the way she used to, almost every night back when I was home a year ago. The want is still there. The waiting too. It’s written all over her face.
She props herself up on her elbows, and I look down at her, wishing I could take the hurt away. I know it won’t be that simple. It will take time. But for tonight, she’s perfect. The woman I fell in love with. The woman I never want to leave again.
I lower myself over her, pressing my forehead to hers. “I’ve missed you so much, Vanessa. I never want to leave again.”
“I don’t want you to,” she says, the pain lingering in her eyes.
Her gaze trails down my body, and I know exactly what she sees. The small scars from the last year. She traces one with her fingers along my left arm, and I let out a slow breath, bracing myself for pity.
“Those bastards,” she whispers, but anger laces her tone. “Did they torture you like Gino said they did?”
I nod, unable to find the words. “It’s alright. I’ll live.”
“Mateo, that’s not the point,” she says, her voice tight. “They hurt you. They did unspeakable things to you.”
“I know,” I whisper.
Her eyes harden. “I want to kill them. Truly. What did they do to you?”
I smile softly at her. “Who knew you’d get feisty about my health.”
She gives me that deadpan look of annoyance I love. “Of course I’m feisty. There were way too many days where I thought you were dead.”
“I know.” My voice is quiet. “There are things I’m not ready to talk about yet, but I’ll tell you this. They tried really hard to get information out of me. They did everything but kill me. They tortured me, questioned me, tried to force me to confess to things that never happened.”
“Like what?” she whispers.
“They believed I was an assassin. They wanted me to be something I wasn’t so they could justify what they were doing.”
I can tell she wants to know enough, but not everything. Some details would break her, and she knows it too.
Seeing a tear roll down her cheek, I kiss her softly as my hand trails down between her thighs.
I slide one finger inside her, and she arches her back just slightly, telling me she’s more than ready.
I add a second finger and work them in and out of her, my cock hardening as her slick heat closes around me.
When I know she’s ready for me, I pull my fingers free and bring them to my mouth, sucking them clean. She tastes exactly as I remember. I wrap my hand around my cock and slide into her in one smooth thrust.
“Fuck, Mateo,” she moans.
I smile down at her. She’s everything I remember. Her soft eyes hold mine as she takes me all the way in. She likes it when I take control, just not too much. Tonight, I don’t want to be gentle. I want her rough and breathless, making up for all the time we lost.
I flip her over and guide her onto all fours, exactly where she wants to be.
It’s her favorite position. She claims it’s because she climaxes faster like this, but I know better.
She likes the way I take control, the way she gives it up without hesitation, trusting me to set the pace and not stop until she’s undone.
I guide my cock into her from behind, and her body responds instantly, her back arching as she takes me in.
I move in and out of her, the sound of skin meeting skin filling the room.
Fuck, it feels so good. Her moans grow louder, less restrained, and hearing her give in like that might be the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.
“Vanessa, you better be close,” I grit out.
“Yes,” she moans.
I drive into her faster, harder, until my release hits. I come inside her, that final rush of relief settling deep, the kind I’ve been craving since the moment I came home.
I pull away and step off the bed, heading into the bathroom to grab a washcloth so we can clean up. When I come back out, she’s standing in the doorway, the baby monitor in her hand.
“I think we woke them up,” she says with a laugh, pulling her nightgown back on.
I smirk back. “You were pretty loud when you were moaning my name.”
“Hmm.” She smiles. “Well, I’m going to go check on them.”
She slips out of the bathroom and heads down the hall toward the nursery.
After brushing my teeth, I crawl into bed, knowing she probably doesn’t need my help, but still watching the door until she comes back. A few quiet minutes pass before she returns, pulls back the covers, and settles in bed beside me. She presses her lips to mine.
“Goodnight,” she says softly.
“Goodnight,” I reply.
She turns onto her side, and I do the same, wrapping my arm around her waist. I wait until her breathing evens out, until I know she’s asleep. Then I lean over her, grab the baby monitor, and set it on my nightstand. When I slip my arm back around her, she shifts closer to me the way she used to.
I sleep better that night than I have in a year.