Chapter One
Ellie
Sixteen Years Later
T he afternoon sun warms my skin as I walk down Main Street, heading toward the only mechanic shop in town. One that just so happens to be owned by my very best friend.
My hands are full of takeout from Gunnar’s favorite restaurant and the flower arrangement I made just for him. I changed things up this time, using mostly greens and avoiding any pink, hoping he will find it a little less girly .
Every month I make an arrangement for his shop, much to his dismay, but he puts up with it because he knows I love to do it and it’s free advertising for me. Not that I need it since I own the only flower shop in Passion Falls, perks to living in a small town. Still, it’s nice to have my creations be seen elsewhere.
It’s also a good reminder for all the men who walk in there to treat their loved ones from time to time because a thoughtful gesture can go a long way. Even a single flower can brighten someone’s day. It sure brightens mine, which is why I love what I do. A dream that would have taken much longer to happen if not for the money Paw left me.
Now, let’s hope all of this will brighten Gunnar’s day and butter him up for the bombshell I am about to drop. Though, I am not sure anything can prepare him for what I am about to say.
How do you tell your best friend of seventeen years that you have decided to have a baby by artificial insemination, and then ask if he would like to be the sperm donor?
God, it sounds crazy even in my head. Not the baby part because that is the one thing I am certain about. I have always wanted to be a mother, and I have always wanted a big family, something I never had growing up.
As much as I loved life with Paw, it could get lonely at times, and if I’m being honest, it’s still lonely, especially with Paw being gone. He was the only family I had and I miss him dearly.
Sure, I have the flower shop and my friends to keep me busy, but it’s not the same, especially when it’s time to go home to an empty house.
I always thought I would be married by now and have the white picket fence, but my dating life has been pretty much nonexistent. Actually, it’s downright pathetic. Being a virgin at twenty-four years old proves it.
Unfortunately, the pick of men in Passion Falls has always been slim. The good ones are either already taken or I’m too good of friends with them to cross that line. I suppose asking Gunnar to be the father of my child could technically be crossing a line, but it’s not like I’m asking him to have sex with me for heaven’s sake.
Though I’ll be honest and say the thought has crossed my mind a time or two, just so I could say I am not a virgin anymore, but I quickly decided against it. I’m not willing to risk our friendship. Sex complicates things. At least, I think it does. Guess I can’t be sure since I’ve never done it before, but I’m assuming it would …
In the end, it doesn’t matter because I have decided I do not need to be in a relationship to have a baby. There are other options available. One specifically that I have been exploring for the last several months and there is an opportunity this Friday to start the process. I just need to see if Gunnar is willing to be the donor or if it will be a complete stranger.
I’m hoping for the first option because I think raising a child with my best friend would be pretty awesome. It would also be convenient since we are already so entwined in each other’s lives, even working right down the street from each other. It doesn’t get much more convenient than that.
That said, I am willing to settle for the second option if it means getting to have a child of my own to love and care for. I also know Gunnar will be a part of our lives no matter what because he’s my constant, the one person who has been by my side through it all, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. How involved he will be and what role he will play, we will soon find out.
The mechanic shop comes into view, sending a mixture of nerves and excitement dancing in my belly. Nerves because I know this is going to catch him off guard, but also excitement because he will be the first person I share this with. I haven’t even told my closest girlfriends.
It’s been hard to keep this to myself, but I haven’t wanted to say anything until I was sure this was the route I wanted to go. Now that I am, I’m ready to share it with the world, but first… Gunnar.
I enter through the open overhead door only to be greeted by the usual sounds of loud machinery and blaring rock music. The familiar smell of spilled oil and burning rubber penetrates my senses, a scent I will forever associate with Gunnar.
Looking around, I find Mitch, Gavin, and the new apprentice, James, all hard at work, but I see no sign of Gunnar. I do, however, spot Ryland in the far back corner, my heart lighting up at the sight of him working under the hood of a car.
So much for retirement.
As if sensing my presence, he looks my way, a jovial smile smothering his aging yet still very handsome face. If it wasn’t for the soft lines etching his features or the gray mixing with his sandy brown hair, you’d never know he just turned sixty. “Well, look who it is.”
Everyone glances up from their task, greeting me with a smile and a wave. “Hey, Ellie.”
“Hey, guys.”
Ryland gestures me over. “Get your cute butt over here, young lady, and lay one on me.”
Giggling, I walk over, lift to my tiptoes, and plant a loud smooch on his stubbly cheek.
His arm curls around my waist, pulling me in at his side. “How’s my girl doing today?” he asks, warming my heart.
Next to Paw, Ryland Brooks is the best man I’ve ever known. He’s a little rough around the edges, being former military and all, but his kind heart and fierce love for Gunnar overshadows it.
“I’m good. How about you? I see you’re enjoying retirement,” I tease.
He chuckles good-naturedly. “Well, you know what they say, you can take the man from the job, but you can’t take the job from the man.”
Gunnar and I knew he wouldn’t walk away, at least not completely. I think he only announced retirement early because he wanted Gunnar to finally have this place as his own. Something Ryland started just for him.
Woof .
I turn at the old, raspy bark and find the sweetest fur creature in all the land.
“Bear!” I squeal his name, greeting him the same way I always do.
The large English Mastiff wastes no time trotting over to me. I drop to my knees, placing the items in my hands on the floor, and give him all the love and attention he deserves.
“How’s my sweet boy?” I coo, hugging his thick, furry neck and peppering kisses all over his face. “Where’s that warden of yours, huh?”
“He’s right here.”
My head lifts at the deep voice and I find the man I came to see.
Gunnar stands just outside his office door, situated under the stairs that lead up to his apartment. He holds a grease-stained rag in his hands, using it to wipe the oil from them while wearing that signature lopsided grin of his.
His usual work coveralls are dropped low on his waist, revealing a dirty white muscle tank that shows off his fit physique and toned arms. Add in the ball cap that barely confines his thick, dark, messy hair, those honey-brown eyes, and that perfectly sculpted jaw with just the right amount of stubble, and there is no denying my best friend comes from some very good genes.
It’s why every woman in this town fights for his attention, only to never get it, at least not when I’m around. I’m not naive enough to think he never gives in to some of the temptation, but not in the way many hope for.
He has no interest in ever being in a relationship, something I have always been secretly thankful for because it means I never have to share him with anyone else. It’s just one more reason why this arrangement between us would work out great .
The thought has me grabbing my things from the floor and climbing to my feet. “Hey!” I finally greet him.
“Hey, yourself,” he returns, that lazy smirk still in place.
“Got time for lunch?” I lift the take-out bags in my hands, swaying them enticingly. “I brought your favorite.”
“I have time,” Mitch cuts in, prompting snickers from the others.
Gunnar shoots him a hard look before returning his gaze to mine. “I always have time for you, Elle, you know that.”
My heart warms at his response. It’s why, after all these years, he’s still my very best friend.
He nods toward his office. “Come on, we’ll eat in here.”
Before heading that way, I place one of the take-out bags down on the front counter and turn to the others. “This one’s for you guys.”
Cheers erupt through the garage as Mitch, Gavin, and James all make a mad dash for the food.
I jump out of the way before I get trampled, laughing as they fight over the bag.
“Y’all are a bunch of damn savages,” Ryland scolds. “What do you say to the girl?”
“Thanks, Ellie,” Gavin and James say in unison, both struggling to open their respective containers.
“Yeah, thanks, Ellie,” Mitch adds, his mouth already full of food. “You’re the best.”
I acknowledge their gratitude with a smile and wave, then make my way over to Gunnar, who waits for me outside his office, looking less than impressed by the scene behind me.
He allows Bear and me to enter first before following us in.
“I don’t know why you brought them food too,” he grumbles, annoyed. “They have their own damn lunch. ”
“I know, but I didn’t want to leave anyone out,” I reply with a shrug. “I even brought something for my sweet Bear,” my voice softens into a coo as I glance down at the dog by my feet.
He acknowledges his name with a sharp bark.
Chuckling, I place the food and flower arrangement down on the desk and reach inside the white take-out bag, pulling out the brown-wrapped package I picked up from the butcher this morning.
The sight of it sends Bear into a frenzy. He barks several more times and dances around in excitement, already knowing what’s inside.
I hurry to unwrap the meaty smoked bone and then place it into his drooling mouth. “Here ya go, boy. Bon appetite.”
He prances over to his navy blue dog bed in the corner and begins chowing down.
Gunnar shakes his head at me.
“What?” I ask, feigning ignorance.
“You spoil the shit out of him, that’s what.”
“And you don’t?” I return, arching a brow.
He grunts, knowing he can’t deny it.
“Oh, don’t be such a grump. I have something for you too.” Grabbing the potted greenery off his desk, I hand it over with a smile. “A new creation just for you.”
He accepts the arrangement from me, inspecting it with a critical look. “There’s no pink,” he says, his brows furrowing. “You always use pink.”
“And you always say it’s ‘girly’,” I remind him. “So, I made it less girly this time.”
“They’re flowers, for christ’s sake. They’re supposed to be girly. ”
I peer back at him, confused. “So, what are you saying? You want me to use pink?”
“I’m saying , use whatever the hell you want, and don’t give a shit about what I think.”
My hands lift in frustration. “It’s for you. Of course I care what you think.”
He says nothing in response to that, his hard gaze remaining in place.
“ You’re welcome, Gunnar ,” I mock in a deep voice.
“ Thank you, Ellie ,” he mocks right back, flashing me a grin.
“You’re such an ass.” I laugh.
Chuckling, he pulls me in for a hug, not the least bit concerned about getting oil and grease all over me. Probably because he knows I don’t care either.
“Thank you,” he says with more sincerity. “You know I appreciate you and your flowers.”
“As you should,” I murmur, but hug him back, savoring his warmth.
Gunnar’s arms are my favorite place to be, they can ease the pain and heal any wound. I spent a lot of time in them after Paw passed away.
He drops a kiss on the top of my head before breaking contact. “Come on, let’s eat before the food gets cold.”
Nodding, I begin unpacking the take-out containers while he grabs us each a Coke from the bar fridge.
Afterward, he pulls his chair up next to mine, choosing to sit beside me rather than across from me.
“You got someone watching the shop for you?” he asks, popping the top off our sodas.
I shake my head. “I just flipped the sign to ‘back in an hour.’ I’ve got a few deliveries this afternoon, but it should be quiet otherwise. Mondays usually are.”
Something I appreciate since weekends are always so busy, especially during wedding season.
The last take-out container I open holds my favorite dish: honey garlic chicken.
My mouth waters at the rich aroma.
Just as I reach for the chopsticks next to me, ready to dig in, Gunnar swoops in out of nowhere and snatches the container right out of my hands.
“Hey!”
Ignoring my protest, he pops a crispy strip into his mouth and groans, exaggerating his delight with a smirk. “Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmmm.”
My eyes narrow into a glare.
Two can play at this game, bucko.
Moving quickly, I swipe the ball cap off his head, watching all that messy brown hair fall into disarray, before placing it atop my own, flashing him a triumphant smile.
He chuckles, not the least bit bothered by it.
Turd .
He gives me back the chicken, but I decide to keep his hat for a little while longer.
“How’s business going anyway?” he asks, starting in on the beef and vegetables instead. “Busy?”
“Yep, and it’s about to get even busier with wedding season upon us. My first order is next weekend and it’s a big one,” I tell him. “Huge, actually. The largest one I have ever done. Wanna know why?”
He smirks at my question. “Why?”
“Because there are eight bridesmaids and eight groomsmen. Eight, Gunnar! Who the hell has that many people in their wedding party?”
“The same people who are dumb enough to get married in the first place,” he says, making both of us laugh.
I should have seen that one coming .
“How about you?” I ask, turning the question on him. “Still busy?”
“Yep, and I’m not mad about it.”
I’m sure he’s not. Gunnar loves spending his days working on cars. It’s always been his favorite thing to do—well, aside from hanging out with me, of course, but that’s a given.
“I see Ryland is still showing up.” A smile peeks through my words as I make the observation.
It prompts a matching one from Gunnar. “We called it, didn’t we?”
“We did.” I laugh.
“It’s good for him,” Gunnar adds with a shrug. “It’s not like he has any kind of social life to keep him busy.”
This is true. Ryland built his whole life around raising Gunnar. I think him being here is more about seeing Gunnar and working alongside him than just loving the job.
“It works out since I need someone here the nights I have ball,” he continues, talking about the community baseball league he plays in. “Which reminds me, we finally got our schedule last night. First game is Wednesday. You coming?”
My brow lifts at the question. “Don’t I always?”
He chuckles. “Just checking.”
He doesn’t need to, and he should know that. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never missed one of his games. Bear and I are his biggest fans. We even have matching jerseys with his number that I had made .
The rest of our lunch passes in easy conversation, words flowing effortlessly between us as always.
I wait for the right moment to bring up the reason I came here, but nerves hold me back.
Gunnar saves me the trouble. “Are you going to tell me what’s on your mind, or do I have to guess?”
I meet his gaze, feeling more than a little embarrassed. “Is it that obvious?”
He grunts. “Please, Elle. The only time you show up here unannounced is when you have something important to tell me or you’re trying to rope me into some ridiculous plan of yours.”
I’m about to deny that but know what he says is true.
“And since you brought food from my favorite take-out place, I’m guessing it’s the latter,” he adds, leaning back in his chair with an arrogant smirk. “So, go on. Hit me with it. What are you dragging me into this time? Another wedding? Because if it is, there better be free booze.”
I’m not surprised this is the assumption he chooses to go with since I’ve had to talk him into being my wedding date more than once. “It’s not a wedding,” I promise. “It’s bigger than that. Much bigger.”
His amusement fades. “Sounds serious.”
“It is,” I admit softly, my nerves growing by the second.
“What’s going on, Elle?” he presses. “Did something happen? Has someone hurt you?” The anger that creeps into his voice sends a chill down my spine.
“No.” I rush to assure him. “It’s nothing like that. It’s not bad. It’s good. Really good. I’m just nervous to tell you because it’s probably going to shock you.”
His easy demeanor returns, body visibly relaxing. “I think you’re forgetting who you’re talking to, Elle. You’ve roped me into some crazy shit over the years, I doubt there is anything you can say that will truly shock me.” He chuckles.
He has no idea…
“Besides, if you’re excited about it, then I am too.”
My heart warms at the added response. “Really?”
“Of course. So, out with it. Tell me, what are we excited about?”
Knowing it’s now or never, I place my carton of food down on the desk, then take one of his hands into both of mine.
The gesture catches him off guard, but before he can ask any more questions, I tell him the secret I have been keeping. “I’m going to have a baby.”