Chapter Two
Gunnar
D eafening silence fills the room as I stare back at my best friend, the only girl who has ever mattered to me, and know without a doubt that I just heard her wrong.
I shake my head, trying to clear the echo. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. What did you say?”
A soft smile flutters across her lips, her eyes lit with excitement. “I’ve decided to have a baby, Gunnar. I’m going to be a mom.”
My brain struggles to process those words but can’t because they make no sense.
I look around the room, expecting a cameraman to jump out at any moment and say gotcha . It would be a typical Ellie thing to do. Hell, I’ll bet even Ryland is in on this, the sneaky bastard.
I chuckle at the thought. “Nice one, Elle. You almost had me.”
She doesn’t share in my amusement. Hurt flashes in her eyes before she releases my hand. “It’s not a joke.”
Realization suddenly strikes, evoking a storm of emotions. Disbelief, confusion, and… panic. “What the hell are you talking about? Since when did you start seeing someone?”
She tells me everything and she has not mentioned any fucking guy to me. I’m the only guy in her life. It’s always been that way. It’s supposed to always be that way.
“I’m not seeing anyone.”
Relief floods my senses, giving me a moment of reprieve until another disturbing thought emerges. “Wait, are you telling me you’re someone’s sidepiece?”
I’ll kill the son of a bitch.
Ellie is not the kind of girl you screw around with. She’s the girl you marry. Not that I want her marrying anyone either, but that’s not the point.
“What? No.” She laughs, finding it funny.
I find none of this funny.
“There’s no booty call and no guy,” she assures me.
This should make me feel better, but it only leaves me even more confused.
Amusement fills her expression. “You can have a baby without having sex, Gunnar.”
I blink at that response. Ellie is one of the smartest people I know, but she’s also naive and inexperienced, which I have always been content with. However, I am not so sure that has been the best thing for her after what just came out of her mouth.
“Here, let me show you.” Reaching into her bag, she pulls out a pamphlet and hands it to me.
Taking it from her, I read the cover that says: Plan your future. Be a parent. Be a donor.
What—the—fuck?
“It’s called in vitro fertilization,” she goes on to explain. “It’s a procedure that I’ve been looking into for quite some time now.” Taking the pamphlet back, she opens it and begins explaining the pictures. “How it works is they take my egg and combine it with sperm from a donor. Then, they place it in my uterus for me to become pregnant.” She finishes the explanation with a smile as if it’s completely fucking normal for us to be talking about eggs, sperm, and her uterus.
If I wasn’t staring into her light hazel eyes right now, I’d swear I was just sucked up into the fucking twilight zone.
She clears her throat, shifting at my silence. “Told you you’d be shocked.”
“Shocked?” I choke out, struggling to speak past the grip on my throat. “You just told me you plan to have a baby. I’m a little more than fucking shocked, Elle.” My voice grows louder with every word, reaching high decibels.
“Keep your voice down,” she snaps, her gaze darting to the open door.
“The hell I will. What the fuck are you thinking?”
Her eyes narrow at my tone. “I’m thinking about where I am in my life and how I’m ready to be a mother.”
“Even if it means having some rando’s baby?”
Sex or no sex, that still makes me feel all sorts of pissed off.
Her chin lifts defiantly. “Even if it means having some ‘rando’s baby’.”
I shake my head, struggling to comprehend this.
“It’s not as uncommon as you think,” she says. “This sort of thing is done all the time. It’s safe and a great alternative for someone like myself.”
“Christ, Ellie, are you listening to yourself? You have no idea what kind of people they accept. You could have some wacko’s baby and not even know it.”
“No, that’s not true,” she denies vehemently. “All donors go through a rigorous screening process.”
I grunt, having a hard time believing that .
“It’s true,” she insists. “But it doesn’t have to be a stranger, you know…”
My gaze snaps back to hers, suspicion forming at the sudden shift in her tone.
“It could be someone I know. Someone I love and trust.” Her voice is soft now, each word carefully chosen. “Like… my best friend.”
A harsh laugh rips from my chest, the insinuation so outlandish it’s all I can manage.
“Hear me out,” she rushes to say, placating me with her hands. “This could be a win for the both of us.”
“Yeah? And how do you figure that?” I ask, wondering when she went and lost her damn mind.
“You never want to get married or commit to anyone, right?”
I don’t bother responding since we both know the answer to that question.
“But you and I”—she gestures between us—“we’re already committed. Which means we can be parents without having to worry about all that messy stuff like sex and relationships. Well, you’ll still have sex, I’m sure,” she adds on an awkward laugh. “And hopefully one day I’ll get married, but that won’t change anything between us.”
If she’s hoping this is a selling point for me, she’s got another thing coming.
“Just think, you’re going to be part of my child’s life either way. But instead of being Uncle Gunnar, you could be Daddy Gunnar.” She presents this to me like it’s the opportunity of a lifetime as if it’s not completely certifiable.
“You know, Elle,” I begin, my tone surprisingly calm. “You have said and done a lot of crazy shit over the years, but this one takes the fucking cake. ”
Her excitement deflates. “Why?” she asks, sounding genuinely confused. “Why would it be so crazy for us to be parents together?”
“There’s a plethora of fucking reasons,” I bellow, my frustration boiling over. “For starters, I don’t know the first thing about being a father.”
She’s completely unfazed by this. “So? I don’t know how to be a mother.”
I throw my hands up. “There you go. All the more reason why it’s crazy for you to even be talking about this.”
She rolls her eyes. “Being a parent isn’t something you already know how to do, Gunnar. It’s something you learn. Sure, we’ll make mistakes, but what matters is growing from them and loving our child through it all.”
The way she speaks about it, as if she is already carrying my baby, ignites another wave of panic through my chest.
Shoving from my chair, I begin pacing the room, needing to expel these overwhelming emotions trying to suffocate me.
“I wouldn’t ask you to do this with me if I didn’t think you would be an amazing father,” she says. “I know you, Gunnar. I know your heart. Just look at the way you have taken care of me all these years.”
I come to a hard stop, gaping at her in disbelief. “You’re a human being, Ellie!”
“So is a baby.” She laughs. “They grow into children then become adults just like we did.”
“You know what I mean,” I counter, refusing to show any humor in this. “Have you thought this through, Elle? I mean really thought about it?”
Annoyance sparks in her gaze. “No, Gunnar, I haven’t. I just woke up this morning and thought, ‘Gee, I think I want to be a mom. I wonder if Gunnar will be the father. I’m going to bring him lunch and ask’,” she mocks sarcastically. “Of course I’ve thought about it. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, but since I’m a twenty-four-year-old virgin, I figure it’s time to assess my options!” Her voice pitches at the last part, loud enough that it trails out of the office and draws Mitch’s attention as he walks by.
He stops in his tracks, his eyes flaring wide as he looks over at us.
“Mind your fucking business.” I slam the door shut in his face before turning back on Ellie. “You’re the one who needs to keep it down. No one needs to know you’re a damn virgin.”
“Oh, please,” she scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “Considering my lack of dating life, I’m sure it doesn’t come as a shock to anyone.”
Maybe not, but I know what it does to a man to hear that, and I don’t need to be firing anyone for getting hard for her or even worse, trying to be the one to take it from her… I quickly shove the thought away before I really lose my shit.
“What about your business?” I ask, thinking about all the hard work she has put into it.
“What about it?” She shrugs. “I can be a mom and have a business. Women do it all the time.”
“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.”
Anger sharpens her features. “I’m not stupid, Gunnar. I know what this is going to take, and I am prepared to put the work in.”
I drop my head, frustrated that I am not getting through to her.
“Look, I’m sorry. I know this is a lot to take in,” she says, making the biggest fucking understatement of the century. “This isn’t how I wanted to tell you. I thought I would have more time. ”
“That’s just it, you do, Ellie,” I press, wondering why she doesn’t understand that. “You have all the time in the world.”
“Actually, I don’t,” she murmurs, her voice barely audible.
A fresh wave of panic infiltrates my chest. “What are you talking about?”
Her tongue flicks out, nervously wetting her lips. “The clinic I’ve been seeing had a cancellation, and I took the slot.”
Every muscle in my body locks up tight, including my breath. “When?” I croak, barely managing that one word.
She hesitates, her silence unbearable.
“When, Ellie?” I growl, my tone rough.
She straightens, finding her resolve. “Friday.”
“Friday!” I roar, my voice reaching a level I never knew I had. “Are you fucking insane? No! Absolutely not. I forbid this.”
She jerks back, eyes wide. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You’re not doing this.”
She lunges from her chair, jabbing a finger into my chest. “You listen to me, Gunnar Brooks. No one tells me what I can or can’t do, and that includes you.”
I meet that challenge head-on. “Wrong, sweetheart. You need me for this, and I say no.”
Her eyes blaze as she glares up at me from beneath the brim of my cap. “You’re the one who’s wrong, sweetheart . I already have a donor lined up. I’m here because I want to be, not because I have to be.”
That revelation punches me in the gut, making me feel as though I might get sick. “What are you doing, Elle? Why are you rushing into this?”
“I’m not. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.” Her expression softens along with her voice. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this and exploring all of my options. I’ve always wanted children, you know that. It might not be the way I planned for it to happen, but sometimes life throws us curve balls, you know that better than anyone.”
My jaw hardens, hating that she brings my past into this.
“I’m ready for this, Gunnar,” she continues, pressing further. “Ready to bring a child into this world to love and share my life with. I’m tired of being alone.”
“You are not alone,” I fire back. “You have me, and you damn well know it.”
“It’s not the same,” she chokes out, adding salt to the wound. “You’re not at my house when I come home every night. Or there in the morning when I wake up. It’s lonely.”
“Then get a dog,” I snap. “Hell, borrow Bear for a while if you want, he’ll keep you company.”
Woof . He barks at the sound of his name.
“You don’t have a kid because you’re bored.”
She flinches as if I just struck her, but the blow is nothing compared to what I feel at the sight of tears forming in her eyes.
Shit .
She shakes her head. “Never mind. You don’t get it.” Swiping her bag off my desk, she heads for the door.
“What the hell did you think was going to happen, Elle?” I ask, following behind her. “That you would spring this shit on me, and I’d be all for it? Because if you did, then you really don’t know me after all these years.”
She spins back around and the tears that were glistening in her eyes now track down her cheeks, sucker-punching me right in the heart.
“No, I didn’t, but I thought you might consider it, and I figured if you didn’t then you would at least be happy for me. That you would support me because that’s what best friends do, but maybe you’re right and I don’t know you. Maybe I never did.”
Without another word, she opens the door and runs out, leaving the echo of her sobs in her wake.
“Fuck!” Slamming the door shut, I collapse into my chair, feeling the world crumbling around me, leaving me within its ruins.