Chapter Seven
Gunnar
A s promised, I pull up to Ellie’s house the following evening, armed with dinner. I’m hoping her favorite Italian dish will help smooth over some of the tension I caused last night because she was good and pissed when I left, no doubt about it.
She was also hot and needy, her desire unmistakable. It raged in the depths of her eyes that have the ability to stop time. In the sound of her heated breaths as my lips grazed her ear. In the way her body trembled in response to the closeness of mine.
Every reaction only fueled what I’ve had burning inside of me since acknowledging what I should have a long time ago. What everyone else always seemed to know except the two of us.
What I now realize was inevitable all along.
What Linc and Dawson said last night was true. I could only keep Ellie to myself for so long before a decision like this would need to be made, and it would seem that time is now.
How will it all play out? I’m still not sure, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about that. It’s unknown territory, and quite frankly, I don’t like the unknown. It’s dangerous, leaves you vulnerable, and can blindside you when you least expect it.
What I do know for sure? Is no matter what happens tonight or where we go from here, Ellie will always be my best friend. It’s a pact we made long ago, an unbreakable one, and that’s enough for me.
My gaze shifts to Bear who stares at me from the passenger seat. “Remember what we talked about,” I remind him, pointing my finger at him. “You’re on my side for this. Work your magic and stick to the plan.”
Woof.
Some days I think Ellie is right and he really does understand every word we say.
Shaking my head at the thought, I climb out of the truck and walk over to let him out.
He leaps from the front seat and races up the concrete steps of the small, white and yellow house. A quaint two-story that represents Ellie perfectly, right down to the meticulously crafted flower beds bursting in every shade of pink. They line the weathered cement walkway, along with the lattice framing her front porch. It’s soft and feminine… just like Ellie. It also faces Heart Mountain, which I have no doubt was a huge deciding factor for her.
Bear lets out a bark at the front door and then waits patiently for her to open it. Once she does, he jumps up, his hind legs bringing him to his full height that towers over hers.
Ellie expects it and even braces herself for it. His front paws rest on her shoulders as he licks her face in greeting, layering it with slobber.
Most women would be disgusted by it, but not Ellie. She soaks it all in with a laugh and kisses him right back. “How’s my sweet boy today?”
Bear is just as much her dog as he is mine. She even helped pick him out, something that was difficult to do since she wanted me to buy the whole damn litter. I won’t lie, it was tempting .
“All right, Bear. That’s enough,” I call him off as I climb the front steps, knowing he’s a heavy bastard, especially for her small frame.
He jumps down, allowing me to get my first full look at her. She wears her usual attire of relaxed fitted jeans, the faded, ripped denim stopping at her ankles, showing off her bare feet and pink painted toenails. A simple white tank top is tucked loosely into the front of her waistband, the stark color a startling contrast against her sun-kissed skin. Add in the pale green scarf that ties back pieces of her long, golden blonde hair, and she looks every bit of the Ellie that she’s always been, except now… it hits differently.
A lot differently.
“Hey, Elle,” I greet, trying to gauge just how pissed she still is.
“Hey,” she returns softly, avoiding eye contact.
It’s not the warmest reception, but it’s not the coldest either, so I’ll take it.
She takes in the brown paper bag in my hand and steps aside, allowing me to enter.
Another small victory, considering she wasn’t even going to let me into the house last night.
We make our way into the kitchen, with Bear leading the way. When he spots the smoked bone and bowl of water waiting for him in his usual spot, he runs to lie down and begins gnawing away.
Spoiled ass dog.
I’ll admit he has it good with me too, but Ellie is on another level.
The moment I place the food down on the counter, she wastes no time peeking inside to scope out the goods.
“Oh, La Terrazza,” she remarks in pure delight, inhaling the rich aroma that escapes from the bag .
“I figured you’d be all right with that choice.”
She quickly schools her expression and shrugs. “It’ll do, I guess.”
I chuckle, knowing she’s full of shit.
The smile she sends my way is something I missed so fucking much these past few days. It’s a smile that can right any wrong. One that reaches parts of me only she ever has.
“Drink?” she offers.
At my nod, she moves for the refrigerator and pulls out a Diet Coke for herself and a beer for me, something she keeps stocked purely for my sake.
While she pops the top off my bottle, I pull out the two containers of food, placing hers at one end of the table and mine at the other. Since I am not sure how this conversation will go, I figure it’s best to keep my distance for now.
Once we take our seats, Ellie digs right in. She takes a heaping bite of the creamy shrimp pasta and moans, her eyes falling closed as she does. “I swear I could eat this every day and never get sick of it.”
The heated sound mixed with the expression on her face shoots straight to my groin, filling my head with images of what she would look like if I was the one making her moan like that.
Her eyes open at my silence. “What?” she asks around a mouthful of food.
Instead of telling her exactly what’s on my mind, I decide to get down to business. “You think about my offer?”
She snorts. “Is that what we’re calling it?”
“Call it whatever you want, Elle. I just want to know if you made your decision.”
“Yeah, I did, and I decided you’re batshit crazy. ”
I smirk, loving how fucking sassy she can be. “I guess that makes two of us since this was your idea to begin with.”
“No,” she denies vehemently. “It was my idea for you to be a donor. Not for us to… to…”
“Have sex?” I offer, amused by her fluster.
A pretty pink blush stains her cheeks. “Yes, that.”
I shrug. “What difference does it make?”
Her mouth falls open, eyes wide with disbelief. “It’s very different and you know it. It would change everything between us.”
“And raising a baby together wouldn’t?” I return, cocking a brow.
“No.” Her gaze darts from mine as the lie flows past her lips. “Not really.”
I rest back in my chair, crossing my arms. “I disagree, raising a child together doesn’t get much more personal. Which is why you are the only woman on this earth I would do it with.”
Her expression softens with that admission.
“However, I refuse to jack off in some cup to impregnate you,” I add, not bothering to sugarcoat it. “If I’m knocking you up, we’re going to do it by fucking, and we’re going to enjoy the hell out of it.”
Her eyes flare at the candid language, another pink blush invading her cheeks. Though, this time it’s not just from embarrassment. This time it’s hued with desire. The same one I have roaring in my veins.
“Where is this coming from, Gunnar?” she asks, confusion masking her voice. “Four days ago, you thought having a baby together was the worst idea ever, and now you are suggesting this? I don’t get it.”
A heavy breath escapes my chest, my hand running through my hair as I try to find the right words. “I know. I didn’t understand it at first either. Not until I spoke with Ryland…”
She stills at the revelation, her eyes locking with mine. “You told Ryland?”
I nod, studying her reaction. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem angry, just nervous—probably because she cares about his opinion. She always has. Next to Paw, he’s been like a second father to her.
“What did he say?” she asks quietly.
“He was surprised like I was, but also said that you will make an amazing mom.”
A beautiful smile transforms her face before she dips her head. “Nice to know someone has faith in me.”
Her mumble punches me in the chest. “You being a good mother was never my concern, Ellie.”
She glances back up at me. “Then what was your concern?”
“Losing you.”
Every feature softens on her face, giving me the courage to continue.
“I didn’t realize it at first. But after talking to Ryland, I had to face some truths about our relationship.”
“Like what?” she asks, looking nervous again.
“Well, for starters, the idea of you carrying some other guy’s baby makes me fucking insane, even if it is someone you don’t know.”
A frown forms on her face. “I don’t understand. Why would that bother you?”
“I don’t know, Elle, but it does. A lot,” I admit, refusing to hold back. “So does the thought of someone else taking your virginity. Quite frankly, I don’t like the thought of any guy in your life besides me. ”
A bitter laugh escapes her throat. “So, let me get this straight. You want to have this baby with me so no one else can?”
“No, but it’s those feelings that made me start to consider it,” I tell her truthfully. “The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of having a kid, but it’s something I will only do if it’s with you.”
“Why?” she asks, searching for a deeper answer.
I decide to give it to her, laying it all on the line. “Because you’re the only woman I want in my life forever.”
Her lips curve into another sweet smile, proving it was the right thing to say. “Okay, hypothetically speaking, if we were to do this, how exactly would it work?”
I raise a brow, feeling amusement fill my chest. “I know you’re a virgin and all, Elle, but surely you have some idea how it works.”
Her eyes narrow. “Not that, smart ass. I mean this”—she gestures between us—“us. Are we only going to do it until I get pregnant? Are we going to set aside certain days or are we going to have sex every day? Are you planning on still sleeping with other women? Because if that’s the case, bucko, you better think again.”
Annoyance flashes through me, her last question completely insulting. “First of all, I’d never fuck anyone else while I’m with you. You know me better than that. As for all of your other questions… maybe, no, yes.”
She blinks rapidly, trying to decode that response. “What does that mean?”
“It means you’re overthinking this, Elle.” I laugh. “We’re still gonna be us, we’re just adding sex into the mix.”
“You act like this won’t change everything.”
“Oh, it will,” I agree. “But again, so will raising a child together.”
She falls silent, knowing she can’t deny that .
“Tell me one thing,” I press, knowing this will make or break how far I push this. “Have you ever thought about this before? Us, together, like this.”
“Of course I have,” she shrieks, throwing her hands up. “Multiple times, actually.”
That confession sends a jolt straight to my core.
“I’m a twenty-four-year-old virgin for god’s sake, Gunnar. Trust me, I’ve imagined all the ways I could lose it, but at the end of the day, I’m not willing to risk our friendship over this. It would absolutely kill me.” Her voice cracks, the last words falling on a choked whisper.
“That would never happen,” I tell her adamantly.
“How can you be so sure?” Her eyes search mine, fear seeping through the light color.
“Because we made a pact, and nothing can break it. Remember?”
She shakes her head, unable to mask her worry.
“Look, I’ll admit I don’t have this all figured out, Elle. This is new for me too, but what I do know is that you will always be my best friend. Nothing in this world will ever change that. You want a baby and I want to give it to you. So, let’s do this. Once you get pregnant, if we decide we are better off staying just friends, then we will be two best friends who raise this baby together. If not…”
Her eyes lock with mine at the trail off. “If not?” she challenges.
“We will be two best friends who get to fuck all the time for the rest of our lives.”
She chuckles, the soft sound exactly what I was hoping for.
“I think we owe it to ourselves to at least explore this,” I continue. “If not for us, then for the child we will raise together.”
Silence falls, hope and indecision battling on her face .
I hold my breath, waiting for her to say the answer we both want to hear.
Just as she opens her mouth, the words poised on her lips, a sudden sound pierces the air—the chime of her phone shattering the moment.
Looking away, she stands from her chair and crosses the kitchen to grab her phone off the counter. “Hello?”
The female voice on the other end of the line is loud enough that I hear her state she’s from the clinic.
Ellie’s gaze snaps to mine. “Yes, this is she.”
“I’m calling to confirm your appointment for tomorrow at nine a.m.”
My heart jumps into my throat, threatening to suffocate me. Each pulse echoes in my ears like a steady drum as I await the verdict.
Silence stretches on for what seems like an eternity, Ellie’s face a battlefield of emotions as we lock eyes through the heavy silence.
“Hello? Miss, are you there?” The receptionist’s voice breaks through the silence.
“Yes, sorry,” Ellie apologizes, clearing her throat. “Um, unfortunately, I’m going to have to cancel my appointment.”
My heart drops back into my chest, pumping at normal rhythm.
“I’m sorry for the short notice,” she says.
“No problem. It happens more often than not,” the woman replies sympathetically. “Give us a call back if you’d like to reschedule.”
“I will, thank you.”
As the call draws to a close, I push from my chair and head straight for her.
Ellie’s gaze tracks my every move, following the silent dance unfolding between us, her head tilting further back the closer I get.
Once reaching her, I gently lift her to sit on the counter, positioning myself between her legs.
Quickened breaths race past her slightly parted lips. Pretty pink lips that are so close to mine I can practically taste them. So close that I can hear every frantic beat of her heart. See the pulse thrumming at the base of her delicate neck.
My hand lifts to the side of her face, fingers sweeping away a few stray tendrils of golden hair.
Her eyes fall closed as she leans into my touch, the move in itself a silent confirmation. Yet I find myself asking anyway. Needing to hear her say it.
“We doing this?”
Her eyes snap open at the question, jarring me on impact. “Promise me, no matter what happens, we will stay best friends.” Raw vulnerability bleeds through every word.
My other hand moves to the opposite side of her face, my gaze steadfast. “Forever. I promise.”
I witness her resolve before the words reach my ears. “Then yes, we’re doing this.”
It’s all I needed to hear. My mouth descends, raw and desperate as I finally claim what has always been mine, forever transforming what was always meant to be.