Chapter 9
Henry
“How do you get anything done with this view?”
After we returned to the house, Drew wanted to head out to the patio. The lights of the city and coastline glittered below us. Despite not being right on the ocean, the view made every penny worthwhile.
“When I’m working from home, half the time I end up out here, but it’s a real distraction,” I said as I came up behind him.
Before I spilled anything, I set our iced teas on the table and rested my hands on his shoulders.
When Drew leaned back against my chest, it felt like I’d won some kind of battle. We were about the same height, so the most natural thing would’ve been for him to rest his head on my shoulder, and he did, turning his face toward my neck.
When I felt the light brush of his lips against my skin, a shiver raced through me.
“Why do I feel different around you?” he whispered.
His tone was soft, but there was an edge of frustration underneath it, like he was annoyed with himself for letting his guard down.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“It’s a…” He sighed. “I’m not entirely sure, to be honest.”
“When you decide, I hope I’ll be the first to know.”
We stood quietly together, watching the lights twinkle below us. For a few minutes, it felt like we were the only people in the world, but the uncertainty in Drew’s earlier questions told me there was more on his mind.
All I could do was wait for him to gather his thoughts and hope he shared them with me.
“Can I ask you a few questions about Halo House? If you’re not comfortable, I won’t.” Drew hedged every word as if I might be offended by the subject.
“If I know the answer, I’ll tell you.”
“How long have you been involved with them?”
“I took the scenic route to get there,” I warned.
“Unless you need to be up early, I’ve got time.”
“So you know I took part in that entertainment law clinic in law school, and after graduation, I joined a firm.”
“That doesn’t seem so odd.”
“Okay, Mr. Impatient. I’m getting to that part.”
“Oops. Sorry.”
Drew pulled away just enough for me to see his grin.
He was too cute not to kiss.
“As I was saying,” I continued after stealing one, “I was working at the firm when a buddy from law school, who’d gone into criminal defense, asked me to look over a contract his sibling had signed with their agent and a studio.
They were worried something wasn’t right and suspected their regular attorney might’ve been part of the problem. ”
“Oh man, that sucks. Were they right or just paranoid?”
“Right. Like…seriously fucking right. The agent and the studio were screwing them every way imaginable.”
“So what did you do?”
Drew turned to face me completely.
Immediately, I missed having him tucked against me. Before he could protest, I steered us toward the lounge chairs so I could at least have him sitting beside me while I finished the story.
“They hired me, and I went in guns blazing. Once everyone realized I didn’t know enough to understand I was supposed to be intimidated, we got the whole thing sorted out.
Missed royalties. Future royalties. Better contract terms. And the studio avoided a very public fight that would’ve made them look like complete assholes. ”
“And Halo House?”
“The only reason I won that case was that a clerk did his job and gave me every relevant file. The studio never intended for me to see them.”
“What happened to him?”
“He got fired.”
Drew frowned.
“One of the associates at my firm knew someone who knew Phoenix. Phoenix took him in because he didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
“Is he okay now?”
“Yeah. He’s doing great. Lives near Seattle now, has a kid, and works for another attorney.”
Drew shivered as the evening breeze picked up.
Well…guess I had no choice. I slipped an arm around his shoulders. He immediately snuggled closer, tucking himself against my side.
“Phoenix told me you’ve taken over my tab.”
“It’s not a tab. A tab means you owe somebody something. I’m just directing part of my donation toward your upkeep instead of the general fund. You don’t owe me anything.”
“Have you done it before?”
“A few times. That clerk was the first, and there’ve been a couple of others since.”
“Were you involved with”—he made one-handed air quotes—“‘them?’ Not that it’s any of my business.”
“First of all, I’m more than happy to make it your business.” His cheeks pinked. “Second, no. There may have been reasons I helped them, but I wasn’t romantically interested in any of them.”
Drew knitted his eyebrows together. His face was practically a whiteboard while he tried to piece everything together.
“You said that one case brought you to Phoenix, but I didn’t realize associate attorneys made that kind of money.”
“My buddy’s sibling?” I laughed. “They were…well, are…big. Huge. They kept me as their attorney, recommended me to a bunch of other A-listers, and basically shoved me to the front of the line.”
“I’m sure it’s because you’re good.”
“I am,” I admitted. “But there’s a hell of a lot of luck involved too.”
I lifted his hand and kissed the back of it.
“Any other questions?”
Drew shook his head before resting it back on my shoulder.
“Not really a question.”
“Oh?”
“Phoenix told me something else.”
He lifted his head and shifted away just enough that I knew this mattered, although he didn’t let go of my hand.
Far below us, a siren wailed through the city. Drew seemed oddly focused on the sound.
“Do you want to tell me what he said? Conversations with Phoenix are private, so you never have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”
“No, it’s nothing like that.” He took a slow breath. “I’m just not sure how I feel about what he asked.”
“Okay. Feeling conflicted doesn’t necessarily make it a bad thing. Sometimes it just means you’re still figuring it out.”
“He asked if you were my Daddy.”
I gathered myself before I answered. I certainly had no objection to stepping into that role.
I also knew Drew struggled with turning forty and worried about our age difference.
But if I were honest with myself, and I always tried to be, I was already halfway gone for this man.
Every new secret he trusted me with, every new piece of himself he uncovered, made me fall a little harder.
Hearing him call me Daddy?
Sign me the fuck up.
“How do you feel about that?”
Drew sighed but didn’t answer right away. He plucked at his collar, then smoothed the cuffs of his shirt. He brushed the wrinkles from his pants and wiped his palms across the tops of his thighs, all while avoiding even the possibility of looking in my direction.
“I want you to know that there’s never any kind of requirement to do anything. Halo House is very strict about that. Whatever I do for you, I do because I want to, not because I have any kind of expectation.”
I said my piece, then grasped Drew’s chin between my forefinger and thumb and gently turned his head toward me. His eyes searched mine, but he didn’t speak.
“My job as your Daddy, if you allowed it, would be to smooth your way, not take away your agency. It’s to be your biggest cheerleader and your biggest fan, not to control you or force you into something you’re not interested in or be with someone you’re not interested in being with.
It’s to help you figure out how to be the best version of yourself. ”
“I don’t even know what that is anymore. I don’t think I ever did.”
“There’s no time limit, and there’s no expiration. I would be thrilled to have the title, but it’s not required, and it doesn’t change the fact that I want you to be happy because somehow that’s become very important to me.”
“I just feel like I don’t know myself anymore.
I’ve spent so much of my life, half of it really, being all the things I thought someone else wanted, and I’m worried this is just one more thing.
I’ve always said I don’t want a Daddy relationship, but I could never articulate why, and I’m still not sure I understand it. ”
The sadness in Drew’s voice broke my heart because he wasn’t asking for anything other than permission to be himself, and the distinct impression I got was that he was asking for my permission, which he didn’t need.
He didn’t need anyone’s, but I wasn’t sure he realized that yet.
In fact, I suspected that thought hadn’t even occurred to him.
“If you don’t know yourself, what if I just keep you company while you rediscover who you are?”
“That doesn’t sound like it would be a good time for you.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. It would be the best time for me.”
I booped him on the nose when I said it, which pulled the tiniest chuckle out of him.
For tonight, it would have to be enough.
“Are you sure you don’t mind me staying over?” Drew asked as he stood in the doorway of my guestroom.
By the time we’d finished our discussion, it was already late. He could hardly keep his eyes open. He yawned on every other word. Honestly, I wasn’t doing much better. It had been a long day, and the conversation had taken a lot out of both of us.
“You’re always welcome to stay here,” I said with a smile.
I couldn’t stop myself from brushing his hair back a little.
When I first met him, he’d had the perfect corporate haircut, but over the last several weeks, it had turned shaggier and more natural.
The ends even had a little curl to them.
It was his hair, of course, but I hoped he wasn’t in too much of a hurry to get it cut because I liked the way it had become a little wispy.
Drew stared at me, I assumed contemplating my answer, while I brushed past him to give him a tour of the room.
“If you need extra blankets, there’s a comforter in the bottom drawer of the dresser. In the bathroom, the shampoo and everything else is from the last time my mom stayed over. There are extra toothbrushes in the drawer too.”
“Your mom, huh?”
“Scout’s honor, and I know how seriously you take that,” I answered with a grin.
Drew looked at me, then back to the bed before meeting my eyes again.
“I don’t… I don’t think I want to sleep in here?”