68. Graham
68
GRAHAM
T he publicity cherry pops about three minutes after Silas and I sit down at the bar two blocks from my apartment. Two people have snapped photos, and I think someone’s streaming us live.
I expected nothing less. Pretending not to notice is easier than I thought it would be when I have Silas to stare at instead. He sips a beer, and I drain half a dirty martini. As abnormal as this is, it feels good. Really fucking good. Emboldening even. “I’m not running for re-election,” I tell him, “but I’ll finish out the term as an independent.”
“I’m sure they’ll love that,” Silas says.
“But only after I withdraw my support for the human trafficking bill.”
Silas nearly chokes. Coughing, he grabs for a napkin and wipes his mouth before saying, “It won’t pass without you.”
“I know. But Miles is right. It’s too problematic.”
He coughs again.
“What?” I ask.
“That’s a word I never thought I’d hear coming from you. ”
“I’ve had a lot of time on my own to think over the last year, and the last few weeks. It’s just proving I’m an abnormally late bloomer in literally every aspect of my life. I should have cleared this hurdle in my teens, but here we are.”
“Quite the bed you’ve made for yourself, Senator,” Silas says, clinking the neck of his bottle against my glass. I hold it up and cheers him before draining the rest and signaling the bartender for another.
“You’re not bad at it, you know? Politics. You could do good things if you stay.”
“Could I do you as often as I need to, though?” I ask. “That’s the question.”
Silas sputters on his drink again. The napkin comes back up to his lips. “I’m being serious.”
“I am, too, but my dad did make a point I didn’t love, and I’m having trouble finding a way around it.”
“What?”
“That being gay will always outshine my ideas. That it diminishes me as a man and makes me look weak.”
Silas grimaces. “That was a shitty thing for him to say. It’s not true.”
“If it’s the way he thinks, I’m sure he’s not the only one. Anyway, this whole thing’s got me thinking about kids who come out when they’re young.” I explain to him the gestalt I had in my parents’ dining room about why it took me so long to act on my desire for men. And, as a result why I won’t be supporting that bill in any way. I have a very different kind of legislation in mind.
“No offense, but you could probably use a therapist,” Silas says.
I laugh. “I don’t know if I can afford one, but I take your point.”
“This is a lot, Graham,” he says seriously.
“No, I know. I’m sure I sound like I’m out of my mind. ”
“It’s not that, it’s just—what happened to you today was awful.”
“I didn’t even tell you what my brother said.”
He frowns, and I pull up my text thread with Holden, showing it to him.
His scowl deepens as he reads it, and without thinking, I reach out to smooth the lines on his forehead. He glances up at me with affection and concern. “Wanna suck my cock while you’re at it.”
I run my hand through his hair and shake my head. “I’ll save that. Hopefully it’ll give you something to look forward to if you decide you ever want to see me again.”
Silas takes my hand off his face, but holds it, resting it on his thigh. “Your brother’s a dick.”
“He can be.”
“Just saying with family like that…”
“Yeah, I know.”
Silas puts his empty beer bottle on the bar. “Let’s take this one step at a time.”
“Let’s? As in us ?”
He grins. “What are you fishing for?”
“I don’t know. A boyfriend?” We’ve been a lot of things over the last few years. He’s been my doorman, my trainer, my escort, my lover, my ex, my enemy, and my friend, but I really like the sound of boyfriend. I’ve never had one of those.
“You don’t want to date around a little?” he asks. “See what’s out there? I might not end up being your type.”
I burst out laughing. “I’ve had offers. Well, one.”
He squeezes my hand and tugs it slightly. “You’re mine, though,” he says. “Type.”
“And?”
“I’m yours.”
“Type? ”
“No…just… yours . You got me. Honestly, I hate to admit it, but you’ve always had me.”
“I hate to hear it,” I say. “Well…part of me does.”
“What does the other part say?” he asks.
“Damn right.” I grin at him, and he returns it before pressing his lips together and casting his eyes down, almost shyly.
“Do you have to move to Florida?”
Silas drops his head back and groans, giving me that angle of him I love so much—my favorite. When he’s done doing that, he says, “Can you honestly tell me you want to have to deal with this all the time?” He gestures at the crowded bar, the people and their very unsubtle phones.
“Did everyone move out of Florida, and no one told me?” I ask.
“They can’t possibly be this nosy there.”
“If that’s what you have to tell yourself.”
“If Trixie weren’t there, I really would reconsider, but…”
“It’s okay,” I say. “I get it. And I have good credit, so I’ll get one of those cards that hands out frequent flyer miles.”
“I like the way you’re thinking. Baby steps. One thing at a time.”
I nod. The martini helps, and holding his hand isn’t hurting either. My thoughts and emotions finally feel like they’re falling into order. With my place in Silas’s life decided—at least for now—I can focus on how to work my way out of politics without pissing too many people off. After that, I can decide what I want to do with the rest of my life.
For the first time ever, I’m looking forward to it.
I wake up with the sun in my eyes, my phone buzzing itself off the nightstand, and a raging erection. It’s an onslaught, and I’m immediately overwhelmed.
I catch myself just as I’m about to spiral, close my eyes against the light, grip my cock with a firm hand, and take a long deep breath. This does nothing to shut my phone up, but after a few more deep breaths, and the warm reassurance of Silas’s naked body pressed against mine, I calm down.
“You gonna get that?” he murmurs.
“I’m not sure I want to.”
“At least turn it off, then.”
Since he’s awake, I move his hand from my chest, beneath the sheet, to feel what else I’m dealing with. He kisses my shoulder and gives me a few sensual strokes. “What were you dreaming about?”
“Nothing that would have caused that. ”
“It’s got a heartbeat.”
“Help me out, will you?”
“Mm…twist my arm.” He disappears beneath the sheet and my hips buck up as he wraps his lips around my dick. I’m embarrassingly close already. Must have been some dream.
I pick up my phone, trying to distract myself. He feels too good, and if I can get five minutes out of it, we’ll both wind up happier.
He hums and sucks while I try to focus on my lock screen. It’s full of texts from unknown numbers, social media notifications, and two missed calls. One from my sister, the other from Gibson Hayes.
Okay, that’s distracting.
“Gibson called.”
Silas hums again, dragging his mouth up and down my length, his head bobbing beneath the sheet. It’s hot, but when I push the sheet back and see his eyes on me—that’s when I really start to burn .
His plump lips, hollowed cheeks, and large, dark eyes filled with lust are so fucking beautiful. Watching my cock disappear and reappear as he glides over all my inches is intensely erotic, especially in broad daylight on his white sheets. I should be filming this.
But my phone buzzes again, annoying me enough to toss the thing onto the floor. Gritting my teeth not to come, I take his head in my hand, holding him still so I can set a pace that won’t have me blowing in two seconds. My hips rise slowly, cock pushing through his open mouth. He fists my base, guiding me into his throat. He swallows on me, and his eyes water. Holding there, I groan because almost nothing else in the world feels this fucking amazing.
Gently I draw back, rolling my hips to fuck slowly into him, never taking my eyes off his. “I love you. Ruining my life for you is the best fucking decision I’ve ever made.”
He grasps my thigh and gives it a tight squeeze.
“That being said,” I breathe, unable to hold back anymore. “You’re about to make me come.”
He winks, and I let go of his head. He finishes me with quick, shallow pulls and lavish strokes of his tongue.
I fill his mouth to overflowing, glad we’re at his place so I don’t have to be quiet.
Once I’m empty, I get him to climb on top of me and feed his cock to me. He strokes himself into my mouth and comes with a long, low groan. I swallow every drop, licking him clean until he’s falling onto his side and panting heavily.
“Did you say Gibson called?” he asks after a minute.
“Yeah.”
“I can at least find out what that’s about. Let me text Chris.”
I’m in no position to argue.
After a few minutes, he says, “You should call him back.”
“Do I get a hint?”
“I probably should have let you write that press release last night, but since I couldn’t keep my hands off you, there’s some catching up to do. Chris thinks Gibson can help.”
“How?” For the life of me, I can’t imagine how a real estate developer can help with a political scandal. Unless he has some tips on coming out as a high profile person.
“Call him. I’m gonna take a shower.”
After I return Gibson’s call and hear him out, I join Silas in the shower. Nerves, excitement, and desire swarm in my stomach. “Did you know about this?” I ask him, taking the bottle of conditioner from him and squirting it into my hand so I can finish washing his hair.
“About Fischer Elliot? Yeah. Chris told me.”
“Do you also know he’s my celebrity crush? Like hall pass crush?”
Silas laughs. “I did not. ”
“How do you know who he is?” I ask. “He’s been off the news for a while now.”
“I read his articles in The Atlantic . He also lives at The Eastmoor. Sometimes anyway. And I can’t wait to see what he writes about you.”
“ And you,” I add, massaging the conditioner into his scalp.
“It’s a step up from The Post .”
“I hope he’s less good looking in person,” I say.
“Listen, you.” He turns to face me, shoving his hair back and planting his lips on mine. After a long, knee-weakening kiss, he says, “If you want the drawer I have planned for you in Florida to stay empty until you get there, I’m gonna need you to cage that slutty cock of yours and hand over the key.”
“Before we lock it up, though,” I say, caressing his ass and teasing his hole with my fingertips, “Wanna remind me where it belongs?”
He turns, spreads his legs, and plants his hands on the wall, arching his back just enough to give me a graphic view. He glances over his shoulder at me, eyes dark and smoldering. “Remember now?”
I spread conditioner up and down my stiffening cock and step forward. His beautiful body breaks out in chills with one touch of my hands on his hips. I shove in deep, closing my eyes when my hips meet his flesh. “ Silas , fuck ,” I whisper. “Yes. Yes. ” I press my lips to his spine and slide home.