Chapter 39
Hua Yitong
Qing dynasty. Yitong’s moli was in high demand after the Second Opium War.
Heart note // Reject numbness of heart
Base note // Jasmine
The next morning, high off my successful talk with my mother, I text Eric to tell him I’m in town and want to see him.
Eric: Did you know Mom and Dad are splitting up? Was that you too?
I stare at the phone, already having second thoughts because Eric remains Eric. I keep going because it’s the right thing to do, not because it will irritate him more if I’m being the better person. That’s a bonus.
Me: She told me last night. I want to talk.
Eric: Whatever. Fine. Kelsey is only letting me stay in the guest room for the sake of the kids, so you can’t make things any worse.
I’m a little nervous by the time I arrive, but when Kelsey opens the door, the smell of cookies drifts out. “The kids wanted to bake you something,” she says by way of greeting.
I hold out two gift bags. “These are for them.”
Kelsey’s expression becomes slightly less cold. “Thank you,” she says.
I follow her in and greet the kids. Not with hugs—I’m still me—but they seem content to look up from their devices long enough to wave hi, then rip into the bags.
“I love it,” says Sophie, holding up a hat from Ana’s side of the shop. Owen seems equally pleased with his wacky socks.
“Nothing for me?” Eric asks, coming down the hall.
I hand over a bag of his favorite childhood gummy worms, which he takes with surprise. “Oh. Thanks.” Then he grins despite himself. “I’ll have to hide these from the kids.”
Kelsey gets one of the Pulse Points earring sets, and she looks taken aback. “These are gorgeous,” she says, examining the small filigree silver cubes on threaders. Given our history, I felt it prudent to take out the scent disks.
The kids are already back to their screens. “Can we go somewhere to talk?” I ask.
The two of them seem to have put aside their animosity to unite against me, because they share a look before Kelsey leads the way to the kitchen.
The buzzer goes as we step in. She pulls out a delicious-smelling tray of oatmeal cookies and swats Eric’s hands away. “You know they’re too hot,” she says.
Leaving the cookies on the range to cool, she pours coffee and waits until Eric goes to the fridge to get the milk. “Well, what do you want?” he asks as he comes back to the table and pours some in her cup.
“To talk about us. The family.”
“What’s the point, Lucy?” He looks tired. “We know you’re Mom’s favorite. Did you come to rub it in and remind me I’ll never be as good as you?”
“That’s for you and Mom to figure out,” I say. “There’s enough I can reasonably take blame for, and I’m not taking on extra.”
“She’s right,” Kelsey says. “This is Meilin’s fault.”
“She was in the wrong to keep you at a distance,” I say. “That’s for you to figure out as well.”
“Then why are you here?” Eric asks. “If everything is up to Mom to fix.”
I pull out a bottle of Aiai. “I made a perfume.”
The two of them eye it like a bomb. “Thanks, but no thanks,” says Kelsey. “I’m done being your guinea pig.”
“Hear me out, okay?”
Again, that exchange of glances, and I wonder if distrusting me is what will heal their marriage. Nice to know I’m bringing good into the world. Not all heroes wear capes. “Five minutes,” Kelsey says. “Don’t think of opening that thing up, though.”
“It’s new. It’s a moli scent,” I say. “Diluted, so it won’t cause the kind of havoc it did before. I’m truly sorry about that, Kelsey.”
“I probably shouldn’t have nagged you into it in the first place,” she says grudgingly, and I know that’s as good as it’s going to get. For the sake of family harmony, I’ll take it.
Eric rolls the bottle in his hand. “Aiai. That’s the first Hua woman.”
“Yes, the one who worked for Empress Wu.”
“Okay, Lucy.” He puts it down on the table and crosses his arms. “Get to the point. I have to take Owen to soccer soon.”
“It’s a moli scent, but not strong. It will help you discover your heart’s desire, but it won’t deposit it in your lap like it would at full strength. You still have to work for it, but at least you’ll know what it is instead of only assuming you know what you want and going down a false path.”
Kelsey looks skeptical, but Eric frowns. “The fifth daughter’s power is true love.”
“I don’t think it is,” I say. “It’s just that in the past, some women couldn’t see a way to get their heart’s desires except through men, and they were dissuaded from thinking they wanted anything besides children and marriage.”
On my sister-in-law’s face is a dawning understanding, but Eric shakes his head. “That’s bullshit,” he says. “Women weren’t the only people who bought those perfumes.”
“No,” I agree. “The same goes for men. They want love, too, and they want children and marriage.”
He looks frustrated. “You just said no one wanted true love.”
“She’s not saying that love was never someone’s greatest desire,” Kelsey says. “It probably was, for a lot of people. I bet a lot of the men who could afford those perfumes were men who had other opportunities to get what they wanted in life. Love was the last thing they had left to acquire.”
“Why are you giving this to us?” asks Eric.
“In case you wanted some help in getting your dreams,” I say. “Not a lot. It’s more like starting you on the path than anything else.” I don’t want to oversell the impact. “I can make you a full-strength one as well.”
He and Kelsey stare at the little bottle standing on the counter. Eric frowns. “Did Mom smell this before she decided to leave Dad?”
“No. You know why she’s leaving.” Eric lived the same childhood as I did.
He’s quiet for a second. “Yeah. It’s just…” His voice trails off and Kelsey hesitates, then touches his hand.
“Hard.” I finish his sentence. We might be adults, but a fracture like this is destabilizing at any age.
“I know it’s for the best,” he says.
“They should have done it years ago.” We look across the counter at each other. Is he wondering the same thing as me? Whether our relationship would be different if theirs had been?
In the front room, Sophie and Owen are playing a game together with excited yells, the same way we used to when we were kids.
My brother and Kelsey look over to the noise, and I look at them.
There are heavy bags under Kelsey’s eyes and her face is bloated and pale, while Eric’s sparse stubble doesn’t cover the jowls that are coming with age and good eating.
His hair reveals a new bald spot on his crown.
What do they want? How many of us can even recognize what we desire most?
Kelsey takes the bottle from Eric, then glances up as hysterical laughter comes from the other room. “Not for me,” she says firmly. “I know what I want.”
Her words break through Eric’s reverie. “I agree,” he says.
The two of them look at each other tentatively as the game ends and the kids burst into the kitchen, oblivious to the relaxing tension between their parents. “Are the cookies ready yet?” asks Sophie, hauling herself onto the stool next to me.
“They are,” Eric says. He puts them on a plate as Sophie and Owen tell me about why they decided on chocolate chips instead of raisins or, worse, cranberries.
I rise in their esteem when I agree it was the correct choice, unlike the other adults in the house, who were apparently Team Raisin.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Eric hesitantly take Kelsey’s hand, and although she freezes, she doesn’t shake him off. This seems like a good start.
I put away the perfume before the kids can get hold of it and bring my attention back to my family.
***
When I get home, Mom is surprised Eric and Kelsey didn’t take the Aiai I offered them, and sighs. “I miss the children,” she says.
“You know what you need to do.”
“I do.”
I leave it at that, knowing it will take her time to apologize to Kelsey. They might never be close—I know I’ll never see Kelsey as a friend—but perhaps they can find their way to a respectful relationship.
I pull out my phone, wondering if I should visit Rafe as the next stop on my British Columbia apology tour, when Mom casually mentions that he and Eddie Jin are in Ottawa.
“Missy is looking forward to this expansion,” she says.
“It’s been good to talk to her about the new direction for Yixiang as well. ”
I take the plate of pineapple she gives me. “I always thought she was your competition.”
Mom laughs. “Nothing wrong with a little competition to keep you on your toes.” She checks the mirror complacently. “Plus, Missy’s had work done. I’m winning there. Look at this bone structure.”
“Mom!”
“I’m kidding, Lucy.” She brushes my hair with her hand. “You have no humor. Missy loved that joke. Then she asked me if I needed a ride in her new car.”
“So it was a draw?”
“Of course not. I won that round.” She takes some of the pineapple, then breathes it in. “I think I’ll make a scent with fruit for winter.”
“That would be good.”
We spend the rest of the night working on the pineapple scent, and it’s perfect. I don’t think about Rafe at all.
Except once, when I slide out of bed and find the vial of the tobacco and bergamot scent I brought for him as an apology.
I’ll put it in the mail tomorrow.