Chapter Nineteen
Angel
It had been nearly three hours since we left Red Snake’s office.
At first, I was under the impression we were going to his apartment, then after the girls left and we said goodbye to Jake and Dominic, he took me to his truck, emailed Red Snake’s receptionist, and got on the interstate.
I tried apologizing to him, doing anything I could for him to talk to me during the commute.
Nothing.
He wouldn’t even look at me. He stared at the road, his fist wrapped around the top of the steering wheel, his knuckles white, shoulders tense. I’d gotten the message. He was pissed. The ride home was silent. When I tried to speak, he asked me to be quiet.
“Angel.”
I looked up from my half-empty cup of tea, startled to find Ash standing by the door. He’d been on the phone for over an hour with Grayson, pacing back and forth on my front porch.
“What is it?” I whispered.
There was a shadow hanging over his face, a darkness swirling in his gaze, and his face was painted with regret. “I’m leaving. You good to lock up behind me?”
I jerked, my mug clashing against the delicate saucer. “You—you’re leaving?”
“Yes.”
“I told you before that you didn’t have to stay at Grayson’s while you’re in town, Ash,” I reminded him, my heart jumping into my throat.
He looked away, his jaw working. “I’m not staying in Astoria tonight.”
My brows came together. “Then why did you bring me home? I could’ve ridden back with the girls.”
“I didn’t want you riding back with the girls,” he clipped. “I wanted you with me.”
“And I’m with you,” I replied, leaning forward, setting my cup on the coffee table. Despite the need to go to him, I kept my legs tucked under me. “Ash, we have to talk about this.”
He didn’t answer.
“I see,” I murmured.
His throat bobbed and my eyes dropped just in time to see him flex his fingers before balling them into a fist at his side. His mouth was tight, and I knew he wanted to say something. He just didn’t have the strength to do it.
And I wasn’t brave enough to hear it.
“Thank you for attending Kolby’s celebration of life,” I whispered. “Thank you for being patient with me and not ripping my head off for snooping through your office. I was just looking for answers. Answers I clearly had no right to.”
“Angel—”
“I’m sorry for crossing that line. It was immature. I hope you can forgive me,” I continued as if he hadn’t said a thing. “Thank you for being there for me during this time.”
“Angel, would you stop being so damn practiced?” he barked, stepping forward.
The sharpness of his voice cut through me like a blade.
My spine snapped straight, a piece of my hair slipping out from the claw clip Margo had let me borrow.
It hit my shoulder, and Ash watched the movement, his eyes piercing.
His nostrils flared and he prowled into the living room, stopping at the edge of my rug.
“I am not a fucking food critic. I’m not assessing you.
There’s no need for the fucking professionalism. ”
I didn’t understand. I was incapable of it. “I was just trying to express my gratitude,” I murmured.
“You wanna express your gratitude, then you kiss me. Don’t fucking talk to me like a damn robot walking on fucking eggshells,” he growled.
“Why are you cussing at me so much?” I whispered, my voice trembling.
“That’s not—” he cut himself off, shoving his hand through his hair. “That’s not what—fuck!” He gave me his back, and I watched his shoulders rise and fall with each harsh breath he took. I carefully put my feet on the rug.
“Why is it so difficult for you to tell me the truth about that day?” I asked. “You shut down in your office. You told me you’d been shot and left it there. Ash, I need to know what happened.”
He stiffened, turning his head. Again, no answer.
“Is it because you think I’m damaged? Some fragile, broken thing held together by cheap tape?” I pressed.
“You’re not fucking broken,” he snapped, whirling to face me.
My bottom lip trembled. “Then why are you treating me as such?”
I held my breath, watching as he cursed under his breath and kicked off his boots.
“What are you doing?”
“Making sure I don’t mess up my baby’s pretty rug,” he growled, coming to me.
Then I was in his arms, his mouth on mine.
He kissed me feverishly as if we were running out of time.
His hands snaked up the back of my neck, squeezing it before gently letting my hair down.
A whimper left me as he yanked my head back, his mouth going to my neck.
I gasped, anchoring myself to him, my arms hooking around his neck as he dragged his tongue across my skin.
“I can’t handle you when you put on a mask for me,” he grunted, his arms banding around my waist. He buried his face in the curve of my neck, forcing me to arch my back. “I can’t handle much when it comes to you,” he admitted.
“What do you mean?” I cupped the back of his head. “Talk to me. What are you not telling me? Please help me understand.”
“You didn’t tell me how you escaped,” he whispered. Something in his voice sent a chill down my spine, its malice pooling around my feet, melting the floor. “I thought you’d been sold into human trafficking.”
Something cold shot through me.
“Went after you, Starlight. Went all the way into hell for you.” His arms tightened around my waist.
What?
“I don’t understand, Ash.” I pushed him back, cupping his face, his beard rough under my palms.
“I woke up and you were gone. I thought—I assumed Benson had taken you.”
The blood drained from my face, my eyes widening. “What?”
His eyes were filled with torment, memories of the past tearing his soul apart right before me. “I hunted you. For years, Angel.”
My mind drifted back to the night he came back. “You—wait—you said that you were on a job. That was for me?”
“I never found you, but then again, how could I? You were in witness protection in a different country.” His hands moved to my shoulders, his eyes hardening. “Am I correct?”
“I-I’m not—I can’t tell you.”
“Is that why you wanted me to stay out of your life?” he pressed, his fingers pressing into my skin. “Is that why you pushed me away?”
“Ash, please hear me. I can’t say anything. I signed legal documents.”
My cell phone started ringing, and our heads snapped to it. I remained frozen as he swiped up the phone. “Doss.” His jaw tightened, his eyes cutting to me. “For you,” he muttered, holding out the phone to me.
I eyed it for a second and then looked back up at his face. “Who is it?”
His nostrils flared. “Agent Masters.”
Oh god.
I took the phone and put it to my ear, tucking some hair behind the other. “Hello?”
“Ms. Howell,” a smooth feminine voice greeted. “How are you?”
“I’m a little confused at the moment,” I answered honestly.
“Right, well,” Agent Masters said, sighing, “there’s no way to sugarcoat this, so I’m going to debrief you. Do you remember when I told you that you would never hear from me unless it was an update?”
I pressed my hand to my stomach, trying to stop the pain from surfacing. “Yes, I remember.”
“Alan Benson was found dead at an island resort inside his condo earlier today. We’ve sent our team to the scene, but the FBI is closing their case.”
My head fell, a strange sense of relief hitting me. “Oh” was all I could manage.
“I also need to tell you something else.”
I braced, feeling Ash’s heat at my back. “What is it?”
“The man with you in your living room…”
My head snapped up, my hand going to my mouth. Ash spun me around. “What? What is it?” he whispered, everything about him alert.
“What about the man in my living room?” I rasped, holding his dark eyes.
His brows snapped together, and immediately, he pulled out his phone. “Jake,” he barked into the device, moving away from me, searching. “Angel’s house is bugged.”
“I assume his team at Red Snake will be dismantling our surveillance,” she drawled, sounding amused. “Which is fine. The case with Benson is now closed, and you are no longer protected by the CSIS.”
I—what? “Excuse me, Agent Masters. I do believe you told me I was no longer under protection when I left it nearly two years ago.”
She cleared her throat. “Yes, well, I just told you what I was told to tell you. The FBI decided it was safe for you to return, but my boss was adamant about keeping an eye on you. Though Benson and his circle had gone underground, he was still a threat to you.”
“I’m so confused,” I muttered, watching Ash stomp through my living room and down the hall. He was screaming at Jake now. “What else do you know about Ash Doss?”
“Just that he is a decorated and highly honored retired Navy SEAL who’s done a lot for your country.” She paused. “And mine, on some occasions.”
“Can I tell him?” I asked, rubbing my chest.
“Joseph Grayson has already contacted us, asking for your file.”
I stared at the wall. Damn, they work fast. “And will you give it to him?”
“Depends on if you want me to.”
“Yes.”
“Great. I’ll send it over. Best of luck.”
“Wait!” I called just as the back door opened and slammed. Thunder clapped outside, rain pelting against the window.
“Yes?”
“You told me that you were sending backup to get Ash that day,” I said, my voice cracking. “You told me he would be safe.”
She was quiet for a moment. “By the time my partner arrived at Benson’s mansion, there were five bodies on the ground. Obviously, none of them were Ash Doss, since he is there with you now.”
There was a part of the story missing.
“He wasn’t all right,” I rasped, remembering. “He’d been shot. He couldn’t carry me. He needed medical attention.”
“I was alone. You were my target, and we were under fire. My priority was to get you out of there. Doss was on a different job. Benson was a client of Red Snake Investigation. You were not his main objective. He just found you before I could. I did what I had to do. A year later, my contacts in the United States told me they spotted Doss at a military awards ceremony.”
“You didn’t say anything,” I said, hurt. Went all the way into hell for you.