24. Foster
24
FOSTER
I f I don t make it out of this coma, Raina spoke up abruptly, startling me from my thoughts. I was driving us home from Parker s place after dropping him off at his front door when she turned to me. I think I d like to do what your brother does.
Glancing at her, I asked, Guide other souls?
Well, maybe that too. But he visits, she explained. He s moved on—he didn t stick around or become a ghost or anything like that—but every once in a while, he checks back in to see how you and your family are doing.
Yeah, I agreed softly. That might not be so bad. But how about you just wake up from your coma, okay, so you don t have to visit? You can just be here.
So you actually want to keep me around, huh? she teased with a small laugh.
Reaching my house, I found a spot to park before killing the engine and turning to give her my undivided attention. Well, you can t just blow into my life, invade every little corner of everything I do, and then blow back out again without even letting me meet you in person. That s just not right.
Tickled by my answer, she chuckled some more. You know, some people would be relieved to have such an invading presence out of their life.
Except I didn t tease back. Falling serious, I shook my head slowly. I m not most people.
Finally tuned in to the fact that I wasn t joking around, Raina tilted her chin in concern. Foster?
I blew out a calming breath and then held up my hand, palm facing her. Touch? I asked.
Raina lifted her fingers readily and pressed them against mine. When I felt the pressure of her presence, I closed my eyes and exhaled, comforted by the sensation.
Don t die, I begged. I just—I m starting to get used to you being around. Okay?
After a moment, she whispered, Okay. And when I opened my eyes, she sent me a soft smile. I ll see what I can do.
* * *
We went to sleep that night curled together. I rolled onto my side and Raina wedged herself against me until we were basically spooning. When I closed my eyes and inhaled, though, I smelled nothing.
I had no idea what she smelled like, if her hair was soft or ticklish, if her feet were warm or cold, but that only made me crave her more. I wanted to discover all the answers.
Good night, she sighed, snuggling closer, and I smiled, honored that she was here.
Night.
I didn t think I d fall asleep so easily after that. So much was happening. I d started a new semester that was geared almost completely toward my pre-med courses; next year s football season was looming closer; Connor Resson seemed to be on a mission to get me a bad rep; my parents were intent on kicking me out of the house; Keene had just learned his mom was a ghost; Parker was beginning to worry me with his drinking; and Raina?—
It seemed more imperative than ever that she not die.
She just couldn t.
I needed her to wake up from that coma.
But all my worries couldn t seem to hold up against the solid presence of her against me, and I fell into a deep, content sleep despite everything.
Except a nudge woke me in the dead of the night.
At first, I thought it was Little crawling into bed with me, and I didn t think much of it. Until the whimper of pain that followed.
Little? I murmured, rousing to check on her.
She didn t answer.
Reaching out, I flipped on my night lamp.
My sister was nowhere in the room.
Next to me, Raina made another sound of distress and thrashed in her sleep. When her arm bumped against mine, I actually felt warmth. Not just mere pressure.
Confused, I reached for her, almost expecting to grasp hold of her arm. But my fingers went through her skin as usual.
Okay, so she was still Spirit Girl. Then why could I feel heat?
Raina? I said, sitting up fully.
She kept sleeping.
Raina! I tried a little more loudly. Darlin , you need to wake up for me, okay?
She made a protesting sound.
So I became firmer. Raina, open your eyes.
Her lashes fluttered.
That s it, beautiful. Wake up for me now.
She blinked a few times and then frowned at me. What s wrong?
That s what I was going to ask you , I told her with an amused smile as I reached for her hair without thinking. But my fingers only touched air. Are you okay?
She whimpered out a sound that told me she didn t like being woken in the middle of the night, and she started to roll away from me. Yeah? Why?
You made a sound in your sleep, I explained. It sounded like you were in pain.
Probably just my leg, she slurred and sighed contentedly as she closed her eyes again. It s kind of bothering me.
My brow furrowed. Your leg? What s wrong with your leg?
I dunno, she mumbled, keeping her eyes shut. It hurts a little.
I chewed on my bottom lip, thinking that one through. She d suffered from cardiac arrest multiple times and her brain was swelling and under so much distress that they d put her into a medically induced coma. Throughout all that, she hadn t spoken a word about feeling any pain.
Until now.
I thought you said you couldn t feel anything like pain in this state, I reminded her.
Hmm?
Raina, I repeated.
What? She was starting to sound annoyed that I was keeping her awake.
What s wrong with your leg?
With a groan, she rolled onto her back and slapped her arms down at her sides before opening her eyes to scowl up at me. I don t know , she grumbled. It s cramping some and throbs a little.
Can I see it?
Sure thing, Dr. Union. Rolling her eyes, she drew up her knee to touch a spot on the side of her calf that was red and slightly swollen. Does that help?
Does it feel warm? I asked.
She prodded the area, only to wince. Yeah. A little.
I whipped the covers off and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I m going to the hospital.
What ? As I stood and hurried to my dresser to find some clothes, Raina finally sat upright on the bed, blinking after me. Why?
Something s wrong, I insisted. I could feel it in my gut. I want to make sure they check your leg.
I jerked on a pair of pants over my boxer shorts. You have massive trauma to your brain right now and haven t said a single thing about that hurting. Something is fucking wrong.
But… Finally beginning to look concerned, she shook her head one more time to deny it. It s my leg . I didn t hurt my legs in the accident. Squinting, she belatedly added, Did I?
Well, I m about to find out, I assured her, stuffing my wallet and phone into my pockets.
But I m in the ICU, she argued. People are checking on me constantly. Paid, professional, medical people, Foster. What re you going to find that they missed?
Hopefully nothing, I shot back, shoving my feet into my shoes without any socks. Look. Pausing after I snatched my keys, I lifted my eyebrows at her. I don t care if I end up looking like a fool. Great! Better safe than sorry. But I m going to that hospital because you are not dying on my watch.
Geez Louise, she grumbled, finally crawling off the bed and popping into a fresh new change of clothes for our outing. I m already half in love with you, she complained as she followed me out the back door, pouting. You don t have to act like you care so much; you re just going to make my feelings grow that much stronger.
I knew she was just teasing, trying to lighten the mood because I was legit freaking out, but my fear would not be swayed.
As soon as I slid the door to my house closed, I whirled toward her in the chilly night and snapped, Except I do care. When she blinked at me, clearly startled by the heat in my tone, I nodded. Yeah, this is what happens when you get Foster Union to start falling back for you—a paranoid, anxiety-ridden worrywart. Okay, then? Great. Let s go.
I whirled away and stormed off, not really concerned about whether she followed me or not. She d get snapped back to my side eventually. Right now, I was more worried about her physical body.
But as soon as I opened my truck door, she was already inside, sitting in the passenger seat, gaping at me as if I d lost my mind.
I climbed in next to her without speaking and turned the engine on. She cleared her throat as I pulled onto the road and started down the street.
So when you said falling … She forced out a small, nervous laugh. You didn t actually mean?—?
I glanced at her without speaking, and her gaze flared with shock.
She gulped audibly. Oh... Wow.
The news seemed to stump her.
I shook my head, feeling defensive. What did you think was going to happen after I was around you twenty-four hours a day?
I don t know. She shrugged helplessly. That you d grow extremely annoyed and become more than eager to get rid of me.
Well, you re not annoying, sorry.
I mean. She cringed. I can be.
Not to me.
When I blew through a red light because absolutely no one was at the intersection at this time of night, Raina shuddered and hugged herself. Foster, she started in concern. I might never wake up from this coma.
I sobbed out a painful moan and then shook my head. You re gonna wake up.
Raina remained quiet the rest of the way to the hospital.
Parking as close to the ER doors as I could get, I killed the engine and jumped out, running as soon as my shoes hit the pavement.
Inside, the receptionist glanced up from her window, but I blew by her, racing toward the door that had been unlocked last time.
I didn t even pause when I heard, Excuse me. Sir !
Inside the corridor of the main hospital, Raina yelped, Oh my God! Could you at least wait long enough for me to scout the area?
No time, I panted, hitting the doors to the stairwell in record time.
Once I reached the fourth floor, I exploded into the intensive care unit like a madman.
The two nurses at their station whirled in surprise, and the one who d kicked me out the first night that I d snuck in shot to her feet in surprise.
Mr. Union, she scolded, hurrying my way. We already talked about this. Visiting hours are?—
You need to check on Raina. Right now. Please, I gasped before bending at the waist and gripping my knees to catch my breath.
She pulled up short and blinked at me in surprise before shaking her head. We just did our rounds a few minutes ago, and your girlfriend is perfectly?—
Can you just do it again? I have—I have this feeling.
Wincing when I couldn t explain more, I gave the nurse a weak smile, hoping to play on her sympathies.
But she sighed in aggravation. I m telling you, Miss Bollen is doing just fine. All her vitals look good. The swelling in her brain is dissipating. She. Is. Healing.
I exhaled in defeat before closing my eyes briefly and blurting, Her leg hurts. Right here. I touched the side of my own lower leg. On the calf.
Blinking at me twice, the nurse furrowed her brow in question and slowly said, That s…oddly specific.
I m so sorry for bothering you, I swore with a frantic shake of my head. But if you could just humor me and check her leg real quick; it ll take thirty seconds of your time, and I ll get out of your hair again, I swear.
Well, now you have me curious, she admitted with an obliging nod as she turned away and started down the hall. When I hurried after her, she didn t try to stop me.
Thank you so— so much, I gushed, keeping up with her. You have no idea how much I appreciate this.
When we reached Raina s room, her spirit was already there, standing next to her bedside. Glancing up at me, she shook her head. I mean, I look fine, she said, motioning to her own face.
The nurse went straight to the end of the bed and flipped the covers up. Little blue booties were pumping air around her feet to keep her blood circulating. But the nurse pushed the blankets up further, revealing pale legs until she paused at a spot high on the side of her left calf where the skin was red and swollen as if she d just gotten a bee sting. Gently prodding the area, the nurse shook her head and rasped, Good God almighty, and then she reached for the bedside phone to make a call.
We need an anticoagulant in 4C, stat.
As she hung up, I drifted to Spirit Raina s side and reached out to cover her physical hand with my own. What s wrong with her? I asked.
Next to me, Raina gasped and jerked a step back. Holy shit, I can feel that.
I glanced at her in confusion, only for the nurse to answer, Blood clot.
Swerving back because that sounded more pertinent than Raina feeling my touch, I repeated, Blood clot?
The nurse nodded and started to check Raina s vitals. Looks like you got here just in time, Mr. Union. If that had traveled to her lungs…
When she shook her head, not even daring to voice the outcome of such a situation, I swallowed thickly. But she s going to be okay now?
We re going to put a little something-something in her IV real quick here, and thin her blood right down. You just wait and see, she promised with an assuring nod. We got this.
Okay. I started to back away from the bed until I bumped into the side chair, where I sat heavily and blew out a trembling breath. Okay.
How did you know to check there?
I glanced up in surprise, and the nurse watched me from the bed where she was trying to manually massage more circulation into Raina s leg. When she lifted her eyebrows, waiting for an answer, my lips parted.
My brain went blank, and I had no idea what to tell her.
I—I don t know, I said, wincing when her expression filled with suspicion. I had a dream, I guess.
Well, you keep on dreaming, then, ya hear? You might ve just saved this little lady s life. As another nurse swept into the room, carrying a new IV bag, she smiled in approval and nodded. There we go. Here s the good stuff.
As they transferred one IV for another, I wrung my hands, watching. Is it okay if I stay for another minute?
The nurse sent me an amused glance. Darlin , after pulling off a miracle like that, I ain t ever tossing you out of this girl s room again. You re her guardian angel.
You really are, Raina agreed as she sat down on the arm of my chair to play with my hair. I glanced up at her before turning my attention to the girl on the bed.
After the attendants checked her over, they nodded at me and left the room.
And Raina softly started to sing The Wind Beneath My Wings.
I scoffed and rolled my eyes.
You re everything I would like to be , she went on.
Alright, Bette Midler, I cautioned, lifting a hand to calm her down even as I smiled over the praise. Let s not get too crazy. All I did was ask them to look at your leg.
Oh no, she argued. You heard the nurse. You re my guardian angel now. You saved my life tonight.
My chin trembled, and I glanced toward the body on the bed. Yeah, well… Thanks for not dying, I countered softly.
Because I had a feeling she could save my life right back, keeping me from suffering through a long and lonely existence.
When Raina leaned her face over to rest her brow against mine, I closed my eyes, relishing the contact until I remembered… Could you really feel my hand on yours?
Oh, yeah! Reminded of that, she popped up and hurried to the bed, encouraging, Try it again, will you? Let s see if it was just an anomaly or something we can do now.
Okay. I pushed up from the chair and drew in a deep breath as I neared the bed. The machines around her beeped and pumped air, keeping her alive, and I hated how pale and still she looked in her physical form.
Close your eyes, I murmured. I want to see if you can guess where I touch you.
Good idea. She shut her eyelashes, and I reached out slowly. When I ran my finger over the knuckle of her thumb, she sucked in a breath.
You just touched my thumb, didn t you?
My heart skipped a beat. Yeah. I did. What about now? I skimmed my fingers over the warm flesh of her elbow.
Elbow, she answered.
I dusted my knuckles along her cheek.
Her spirit opened its eyes and looked at me. Why can I feel you but no one else?
I shrugged. Why am I the only one you can touch? Or the only one who can see you? It s got to be part of whatever connection this is that we share.
She started to nod thoughtfully, only for her eyes to flare wide. Oh my God. What if you can Sleeping Beauty me awake?
With a scoff, I shook my head. Yeah right.
Hey, she cried. If I can feel only your touch and only you can see and feel me, why is you kissing me awake that far-fetched of an idea?
Because this isn t a freaking fairy tale, I argued.
She crossed her arms over her chest. So you re not even going to try it?
I motioned toward her body. I can t even reach your mouth. You re on a ventilator .
Well, you don t have to kiss my lips . Uncrossing her arms, she spread them wide. This isn t a freaking fairy tale.
I blinked at her once and then huffed out an amused sound. Alright, I said. Where do you want to be kissed?
Her eyebrows lifted immediately, and her lips parted. Oh, you should not have asked me that. Because now I only have one answer stuck in my head.
I chuckled and felt heat spread over my skin. Hey. Keep it PG, Spirit Girl. We re in a hospital here, and a nurse will undoubtedly walk in during the middle of it.
Damn, you re probably right, she muttered under her breath.
Here, I offered. How about this? Leaning over her body, I pressed my mouth directly to the center of her forehead.
When I straightened to look at her ghost, she was still pressing her hand to the area that I d kissed.
After another few seconds of nothing happening, I slumped my shoulders. Well, now I m disappointed.
Me too, she admitted, rapidly blinking tears from her eyes.
But dammit. I didn t want her to cry.
Maybe it does need to be the mouth, I said and leaned down again, kissing her cheek as close to the side of her lips as I could get without disrupting the tube.
When that didn t work, I tried her temple, the gauze wrapped around her head, then I lifted her hand and kissed the back.
Foster, she finally said, stopping me. It s okay. The Sleeping Beauty thing s overrated anyway.
Except now I felt like crying.
I m sorry, I rasped, lifting my hands helplessly.
It s okay, she assured and came to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and hugging me tight before pressing her cheek to my chest. Thank you for trying.
I wanted to hug her back more than I wanted my next breath.
We ll wake you up one way or another, I promised.
We had to.