35. Raina
35
RAINA
W ell, that was fast. Arching his eyebrows, Alec sent me a here-we-go kind of look as he pulled the phone free of his pocket yet again before answering, Yo.
After a pause, he cringed slightly and met my gaze. I meant, she s here in front of the library with me, and—what s that? He listened for a moment before shifting the receiver end of his phone away from his mouth so he could tell me, He wants to know why you re not in Galveston.
My eyebrows spiked. How did he know I was in Galveston?
Alec shifted the phone down to his mouth. How did you know she was in Galveston? After a moment, he lifted a calming hand. I just—whoa. Alright. Okay. Jeez, yeah. I ll see ya.
Ending the call, he shoved the phone away and sent me a tense smile. He ll be right here.
I shook my head. And he didn t say how he knew where I d been staying?
Didn t mention it, sorry. With a helpless shrug, Alec spiked a hand through his curls. But if you told Oaklynn where you were going, she probably relayed it to him.
Oh. I hugged myself, not sure what to do now.
Alec sent me a glance as if he wasn t sure what to do either. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he lifted his shoulders and asked, So… How have you been feeling?
Better, I answered.
He nodded. Good, good. Flailing out a helpless hand, he added, Hey, I m sorry about your sister.
I glanced at the ground, swallowing hard. Thank you.
A beat passed before Alec blurted, Want to watch some more reels with me?
I looked up and caught his seeking expression before I blinked. What?
He flushed and then shrugged. It was kind of our thing. So I thought you d—I don t know. I m sorry. I m bombing this.
No, you re okay, I assured, actually comforted by his awkwardness. Reels sound good. Thank you.
Really? Right on! He smiled encouragingly before producing his phone again and pulling up some short videos.
Scooting closer, he held up the phone in front of us so we could both see, but I really couldn t see much with all the outdoor sunlight shining on the screen.
When a notification dropped down from the top, saying he had a message from Hope, I was relieved. It was still hard for my eyes to adjust to some things, and the videos had been starting to give me a headache.
Pulling back, I said, Go ahead and answer that.
Oh, it s just my sister, he said dismissively, even as he did as I suggested and checked the message. After a quick smile, he typed back a reply, only to send me a guilty grimace as he put the phone away. Sorry.
No, no, I assured, letting him know it had been completely fine to respond to her. He seemed happier after her message, which made me miss Kinsey. You guys get along well? I guessed. You and your sister.
Oh, yeah. Definitely, he assured with a big grin, which faltered a second later. Then, with a chagrined shrug, he admitted, I mean, not until I was, like, thirteen. And none of my friends can stand her to this day, but she and I are solid now. We tell each other everything.
Sounds like me and Kinsey, I agreed, only to remember that Kins and I would never share secrets again. Pain clogged my windpipe. But I kept talking about her, anyway. Even when we lived two hours apart, we messaged each other practically every day. With a self-deprecating laugh, I admitted, I think our relationship actually grew stronger after I moved to Westport.
Alex pointed as if he could relate. Hope s and mine did too. She had to go to Ohio with her mom about five years ago, and we ve only gotten closer since then.
Funny how that works, huh? I asked softly, gazing out into the quad as I remembered Kinsey s last visit. But when I caught sight of a familiar figure jogging our way, I straightened. Is that Foster already?
Alec lifted his face, only to pop to his feet and answer, Damn. Did he sprint or what?
I stood up next to him as Foster approached, wearing a T-shirt that had the sleeves ripped off, exposing a good portion of his ribs, and workout shorts along with sneakers.
Ah, shit, Alec groaned in regret as his friend drew near. Did I pull you out of practice?
It was just weights and conditioning, Foster answered breathlessly as he wiped his glistening brow with the back of his wrist. And they have them twice a day, so I ll just attend both sessions tomorrow. Then his gaze shot to me before he returned it to Alec where he shook his head. What s going on?
I—I… I tried to explain, but when Foster zipped his blue eyes my way, my brain stalled, and I didn t know what to say.
I came across her here, Alec supplied, motioning to the bench behind us. Having a panic attack.
You— Foster s gaze flared with worry, and he took a step toward me. Are you okay?
She s good, Alec was quick to add. We tried your finger-in-the-ear technique, and it seemed to clear everything up. But get this. She knew my name.
Foster tore his gaze from me to frown in confusion at Alec. What?
Alec nodded in excitement. Yeah. We d never met before the accident, and I had no idea who she was, but then she called me Alec, and we were both like… what ? He paused to act out an over-exaggerated surprised expression. And then she asked how she knew my name, so I answered that she must be remembering. And she was all like, remembering what ? And… Cringing, he popped his knuckles before confessing, I kind of told her everything.
Foster s jaw dropped for a full second before he slowly asked, You told her…what exactly?
Keeping eye contact with him, Alec lowered his chin before whispering, Everything.
Shaking his head, Foster blew out a breath and continued to stare his buddy down before he sternly asked, Why would you do that?
Probably because I deserve to know, I broke in just as sternly. When Foster spun to me in surprise, I lifted my eyebrows in reprimand and set a hand on my hip. Why were you so determined for me not to find out?
He shook his head for a second, looking lost before he rasped, I—I wasn t determined for you not to find out. I wanted you to know. But you needed to remember on your own because it wouldn t matter what I told you. I could stand here all day, until I was blue in the face, explaining what happened during every second of every day for the entire duration of your coma, but unless you remembered it for yourself, none of it will mean shit to you.
My mouth fell open in disbelief. You don t think it would matter to me that my ghost or spirit—or whatever it was—followed you around like a little shadow for two weeks ?
I m saying, he defended himself. You needed to remember it for yourself.
Well, I don t remember! I snapped irritably. So you better tell me every freaking thing that happened or I ll—I ll… But I had no idea what I d do, and instead of finishing the threat, I heaved out a shudder, and my breathing went wonky.
When I couldn t seem to get my oxygen under control, Foster s eyes flared with alarm, and he reached for my arm.
Raina? He sounded so familiar with me, like he really did know me, that it scared the crap out of me, convincing me even more that what Alec had told me must be true.
But I remembered none of it. I had no idea what I d said or done for two complete weeks. And that was terrifying.
Before Foster could touch my elbow, I jerked my arm back, and he froze, not daring to come closer.
Next to him, Alec shoved his finger into his ear, demonstrating as he reminded me, Pull down slowly.
Keeping eye contact with him, I followed his instructions for a few moments before I closed my eyes. Then I drew in a deep breath and exhaled repeatedly until I could breathe right again.
When I reopened my lashes, both Alec and Foster were still there, watching me. But Alec was smiling in approval, while Foster looked traumatized with tears in his lashes.
Are you okay? he rasped in a hoarse voice.
I nodded, even as I said, I want to go home.
I ll take you, Foster immediately answered and reached for my arm again, only to stop himself. Clearing his throat, he dipped his chin meekly and dropped his hand. May I take you back to your apartment?
I bobbed my head and said, I guess you already know where I live, anyway.
Guilt flooded his features. Yeah, he rasped.
Okay, then. I lifted my gaze to Alec. He straightened as if surprised to be included in the conversation again. Thank you, I told him.
His smile was wide and genuine. Hey, no problem. You take care now.
I will.
His gaze turned to Foster, and the two guys gave each other a head bob before Alec turned away and started off.
My truck s this way, Foster told me, pointing toward one of the nearest parking lots.
When he started in that direction, I went with him willingly so I could ask, So did you clean my apartment?
He glanced at me in surprise before frowning after a retreating Alec. Then he cleared his throat and lowered his gaze before admitting, Yeah. I did. But you were there the whole time.
And you returned my library book for me? I wondered.
He heaved out a long sigh. Yes, ma am.
Well… I motioned toward the library lamely. Thank you for that.
My gratitude only seemed to upset him more, though. Sending me a pained glance, he merely nodded before looking away again.
I thought Oaklynn had mentioned that you were going to go home to Galveston with your dad, he finally said.
I did, I confirmed. I m still there. But my rehab is here in Westport—until we can get it transferred to somewhere closer to home, anyway. The captain—that s my dad—he drove me here Wednesday and dropped me off at my apartment, except he won t be back until tomorrow. So I walked to campus today to pay for my lost book, only to learn that someone had already returned it for me.
Wait. You walked to campus? Are you supposed to be walking that far yet?
Probably not, I said, focusing on a dark blue truck that he steered me toward. It seemed…familiar. But I m not allowed to drive either, so... I shrugged. Exercise is good for me, right?
Foster merely studied my face before saying, You look exhausted.
Wow. Thanks, I said dryly, just loving the fact that he thought I was a haggard beast.
Realizing his mistake, he grimaced. Sorry. I didn t mean— But he broke himself off and then just motioned lamely to the truck. This is me. Unlocking it, he stepped in front of me to open my door gallantly. Watch your step. It s quite a climb.
When he held out a hand, offering to help, I paused but then took his fingers. They were warm and sturdy, and I almost didn t want to let go after I stepped onto the running board and hoisted myself into the passenger seat.
Once settled in, I glanced over at him still poised in the open doorway.
He nodded once, watching me carefully. All good?
Yeah, I answered, wondering why I d agreed to let him drive me home. I d barely met him twice at the hospital, and yet, it felt as if I just…belonged with him.
He shut the passenger door, and a very distinct aroma filled the interior as Foster jogged around to the driver s side.
I smell pizza, I announced as he climbed behind the wheel.
Yeah. He chuckled through a grimace and started the engine. Sorry. I deliver pizzas for a part-time job.
Spotting a round Duke s Pizza sticker stuck to the front of his glove compartment, I reached out to trace the circle. At Duke s? I asked, even though I already knew the answer. I d stalked him enough to know exactly where he worked.
Foster watched my finger make the full circumference before answering, Yeah, Duke s. My sister put that there.
For some reason, I already knew that. Little had stuck it there.
When he began to back out of the spot, I glanced around at the interior and dashboard, feeling as if I d been here before. I could almost hear myself saying, Wow. You keep your truck, like, really clean .
I ve been in here before, haven t I?
Foster glanced over in surprise. Then he inclined his head. Yes, ma am, he answered. You have. Smiling nostalgically, he added, You even delivered a couple of pizzas with me.
As he put the truck into drive, I shook my head. I don t remember that.
It s okay, he assured. I didn t expect you to.
It still seems…familiar, though.
He glanced at me, and the aching quality in his gaze as he silently begged me to remember made my stomach cramp with unease. He knew things about me that I didn t.
So what else did we do together?
Eyes flaring for half a second, Foster coughed in his fist, and I watched his cheeks flush before he sent me a quick glance and then returned his attention to the road as he pulled out onto the street.
Uh… He shook his head. Just about everything. There was maybe half a block radius you could get from me before you d be forced back to my side. So you went to classes with me, to work, to visit my friends. You even had to watch me go through a photo shoot once.
A vague image of him watching me as a host of studio lights flashed around us filled my head.
But I made sure to stop in at the hospital as much as I could so you could check in with your body, he added.
I nodded as I listened, suddenly realizing, So that s how you knew about my blood clot. When he sent me a questioning squint, I explained, One of my nurses told me you probably saved my life.
Foster shrugged bashfully. You woke me up in the middle of the night, whimpering in your sleep as if you were in pain. So I?—
In my sleep? I broke in, confused. My ghost could sleep? But…how?
He shook his head. I have no idea. I just know you did.
And where did I sleep? Like, in your room? On your floor or something?
Oh! Uh… He cringed as if he was in trouble before glancing at me sheepishly and admitting, You just slept next to me.
My eyebrows lifted. I did what ?
It wasn t that bad, he rushed to assure me. I couldn t even touch you. My hand would go right through your arm when I tried. It s like you weren t even there, even though you were. Cringing at himself as if he could hear how crazy he sounded, he finished with, I don t know how to explain it.
So… Trying to wrap my brain around the idea of sleeping next to Foster Union—in his bed with him for two weeks straight—I waved my hands. Wait. I ve been in your room? I slept in your bed? And I remember none of it?
He only sighed. This is why it would be so much better if you did. Even hearing me say it sounds…bad. But it wasn t. I swear. It was…
When his words trailed off, I glanced at him hopefully. It was what?
I don t know, he murmured softly, shaking his head to let me know he had no idea how to properly describe our relationship. We just made the situation work, that s all.
Just how close did we get? I couldn t help but wonder.
Foster didn t answer for the longest time. Then he waited until we stopped at a light before he glanced over at me with blue eyes that looked haunted. Doesn t really matter now, does it? he asked. Since we re back to being strangers again.
I swallowed, realizing my lack of memory actually hurt him. Alec had been right about that. We must ve gotten pretty close, I decided.
I told you things I never told anyone, he answered quietly, keeping his gaze solemnly on the road.
Oh.
Well, no wonder he was so upset. I d been his confidante.
Those weren t easy to come by. I should know; Kinsey had been the only confidante I d really ever had, and losing her felt as if I d lost one of my own limbs.
Meaning Foster had lost…me.
I m sorry, I croaked, wishing I could remember for his benefit as much as my own.
Not your fault, he rasped hoarsely, but I could tell how deeply he was suffering.
So I fell silent for the rest of the way to my apartment complex, wishing I could make it up to him somehow.
When he pulled into the parking lot, a surreal daze overwhelmed me. But Foster Union knew exactly where I lived. We d been friends . And I d slept beside him each night. How in the world could I make sense of all that in my head? He was just supposed to be this local celebrity that I drooled over from afar. Like the coyote forever chasing the roadrunner, I never thought I d actually catch him.
I ll walk you up, he told me quietly as he killed the engine.
I nodded. Thanks.
He opened his door and immediately came around to my side as if to help me out, but I was already jumping to the ground by the time he reached me.
You got it? he asked, watching me in concern as I carefully stepped up onto the sidewalk.
I nodded. Yep. Still just a little wobbly sometimes, but I m good.
You re doing great, he assured, reaching out a hand to touch the small of my back as he escorted me to the middle outdoor staircase.
I paused when I reached the first step to take a deep, bolstering breath. Stepping protectively closer, Foster glanced around. Does this place have an elevator?
Nope, I answered and lifted my foot, beginning to ascend.
Cursing under his breath, he went with me, hovering close and gently gripping my elbow the entire way.
Once we reached the landing, I lifted my face to him and grinned big. Did it! I cheered, proud of myself.
He met my gaze, only for tears to fill his lashes. Fucking hell, he gritted out shaking his head and covering his mouth. I missed you so damn much.
My smile fell.
Lifting both hands to apologize, he shook his head. Sorry, he told me. I m so sorry. I didn t mean to— But he was still crying, and the tears choked him up before he wiped his face and trembled out a self-deprecating laugh. This has got to be unbelievably weird for you to have a complete stranger just start bawling all over you.
I shook my head, even though, yes, it was unbelievably weird for me. You re not a stranger, though, are you?
He wiped his eyes and took a step forward. Let s get you to your door.
At 2G, he paused and turned to me. His tears had dried, but his eyes were still red with rings around them. As I inserted my key into the lock, he took a step back.
Well… he started, nodding at me in farewell. You said your dad s coming back for you tomorrow?
I nodded as I opened the entrance. Tomorrow evening, yes. When I turned to face him, he took another step in retreat.
So… Take care, then, he told me with an encouraging nod, even as his voice wobbled unsteadily. But I couldn t just say goodbye this way. It felt all wrong.
Why don t you come in? I invited.
He immediately shook his head. No, I?—
But I took his hand, cutting him off. Foster. Come inside, I instructed softly.
His gaze lifted to mine, and the pleading in his tormented blue eyes caught my heartstrings taut.
Okay, he whispered. And he entered my apartment without any further protest.