CHAPTER 42
She did—somehow—manage to fall asleep in his arms. It was surprisingly soothing to fall asleep near the waves, but all too soon, her pebbles were falling on the gong and jolting her awake.
“You weren’t exaggerating; that is obnoxious,” Kallias teased, sleepily nestling against her. Was this his awake-but-not-fully-awake state?
She stroked some of his hair out of his face to behind his ear. It was her first time seeing it dry, and it wasn’t the perfectly straight hair it had always been when wet. No, it was wavy and chaotic like the sea.
She kissed his forehead. “Are you going to be alright to swim me back?” If he wasn’t, she really had a problem because she wasn’t sure she had that swim in her in the dark, but he easily answered, “Yes,” and they were in the water.
Back and forth, back and forth, three times throughout the night, and though she expected their little cove to fill up with the tide, it never really did, and when she mentioned it, he said he had picked that one specifically.
When dawn came and the sun shone brightly down on them, she knew she wasn’t getting any more sleep.
“How was getting up every few hours?” she asked him.
He shook his head and turned on his side to fully hug her. “I can’t believe you do that every night.”
“The other option is to do what my dad did, which is to stay awake all night and sleep during the day. But I like the day.”
“That would be lonely,” he said. “Or…lonely is not the right word.” But he couldn’t seem to come up with another.
“It would definitely be something,” she agreed, loving how it felt to snuggle into his chest.
“Daria, why do you want to take care of the lighthouse? Do you have to because your father did?”
“No, not really. Kids don’t have to follow in their father’s footsteps, though many do because it’s like having a built-in mentor. Mr. Wilson’s dad, for instance, was a carpenter too. Taught him everything he knows.”
“Is that why you did it then?”
She shrugged. “I haven’t really thought about it.
I was born in this lighthouse and I do love it.
I love the sea. Call me crazy, but I actually like the seclusion.
I don’t feel comfortable in town. In fact, the loneliest I’ve ever felt was in a crowd.
Everyone else knows everyone else. They all have something to say and I just… don’t.”
She shrugged again. “Besides, I love the sea too much to leave it. It’s too beautiful. And being stuck in one of those small, square wooden buildings in town? So boring.”
He smiled at that. “But there are plenty of places with the sea.”
“Maybe.” She sighed. “Kallias, the truth of the matter is I’m a girl. There aren’t many things I can do and not many people who’d let me do them.”
“That’s not true. What can’t you do?” he instantly said which made her smile. How did he have so much faith in her when own kind didn’t…or maybe that was the reason. Such prejudice was learned.
“I imagine there are some physically demanding jobs I’d not be very suited for.” Mr. Wilson seemed to be able to hoist massive blocks of wood with no problem at all. But really, she lugged in bodies and rowed rough seas, so maybe things were learned traits.
“But mostly, it’s more that they won’t let me.
I couldn’t teach at college for instance, though I’ve studied quite a bit.
They wouldn’t let me on a fishing boat if I was the last one alive.
” She snickered at that, but Kallias only looked confused so she said, “They say women on board is bad luck. Men can do whatever, but women can’t.
” She shrugged. “If it weren’t for my being raised here, I wouldn’t even be able to be the lighthouse keeper.
But since I already know how—and because not many people want to—they made an exception. ”
“That’s not fair,” he said.
She didn’t know what to say to that, so she fell silent.
“Can’t you do something about it?”
“How? No one would want to listen to me.” She gave a sad laugh. “That’s why I’m okay with this. More than okay. Happy. Because my only other option would be to find a husband to take care of me, and I don’t want that.”
“Why not?”
There was something sweet about him not making any assumptions and just wanting to know every little thing. She wasn’t sure if that was how other people would be if she actually talked to them; she doubted it though. She doubted everyone could make someone feel so listened to and special.
“The truth is, I’m scared.”