Chapter Eighteen
Addison stared down at her bag on the ottoman.
It was almost completely packed. She still had to grab a few things from the bathroom.
She’d covered all the check-out itinerary and notified the owner she was leaving early.
Addison wouldn’t get her money back, and she was charged a few extra fees to change her flight, but those were the least of her concerns.
She’d been battling with her own guilt since last night’s call with Cleo.
Lying, especially to her, left Addison with a sense of betrayal.
But it was nothing compared to how she felt about ghosting Cross.
She wasn’t even sure how she’d explain herself once she found the courage to call him. Or if he’d even be willing to listen.
When she’d come to Killcreek, she had one mission and one focus.
And it wasn’t falling in love. But that’s exactly what had happened.
For the first time in forever, she felt like she’d found someone who understood her, wanted her, and while he hadn’t said the words, loved her.
Cross had done the impossible. He’d normalized all the guilt she’d been feeling, listened without judgement or disagreement. He gets me.
“One stupid mistake ruined everything,” She muttered.
Addison sighed, glancing around the room. She was halfway to the kitchen when the pounding on the door made her jump a few feet.
“Addison!” Cross shouted, followed by another round of beating on the door.
She remained silent, hoping maybe he would go away. She couldn’t see him. I can’t face him. Seconds passed by. Had he left?
“Baby, your car is in the driveway, so I know you’re here.”
Shit!
There was no use hiding. At least not her presence.
But there was something she was desperate to mask.
She roughly yanked the hair tie from her ponytail and shook out her strands, patting them down on the back of her neck.
She slowly walked to the door, unlocked it, and rushed back to the kitchen doorway, putting as much space between them as possible.
Her heartbeat picked up pace when the knob turned and Cross walked inside.
He scanned the living room, zoning in on her suitcase, and his jaw squared.
He glanced around, locking eyes with her.
His anger was obvious. She just didn’t know where it came from.
Was he mad she was leaving? Was it because she hadn’t told him?
Or something else? She trusted Ava, who seemed genuinely concerned for her safety, but had that all been a facade? Does he know?
“What the hell is going on, Addison?”
She licked her lips, and her breath labored. “I have to go home.”
Cross’s gaze darkened as he glanced down and slowly scanned her body, as if he was inspecting her. That only amped up her anxiety. To the depth of her core, she knew he wouldn’t hurt her. But he had his loyalty to his club. And she didn’t know where she fell on his priority list.
“Two nights ago, I was inside you. I leave for a run, come back, and Cleo’s telling me you left. What the fuck is going on?”
“It’s an emergency,” she blurted, grabbing the ends of her sweater and wrapping them around her tightly.
His brows hiked. “And you can’t pick up the phone and tell me?”
“I was gonna call on my way to the airport.”
That was a lie. Addison planned on waiting until she got home.
He scoffed, dragging his hands through his hair. Cross was pissed.
“That’s bullshit.”
She swallowed the knot in her throat. “Like I said, I have to leave but” —she licked her lips— “I’ll give you a call when I get home and explain everything. But right now, I have to leave, or I’ll miss my flight.”
The corner of his mouth curled, which seemed odd considering the current situation. He folded his arms and lifted his chin.
“What’s going on, baby?”
Baby. She’d never been a fan of pet names but that one from his lips to her? Chef’s kiss.
“Cross, I…”
“You’re about to be out of a shit ton of money. You’re not making that flight ’cause you’re not going anywhere until you tell me what the fuck is going on.”
She pressed her lips together, staring back at him. I can’t.
“Come here.” He beckoned her with his finger, but she remained rooted in place.
When he stepped forward, she backed up, and he froze immediately.
“You afraid of me?”
Not him but the situation.
Cross made no move to come closer. He cupped his mouth and sighed.
“Thanks for the gift.”
Addison flinched, and her eyes widened. The bike wasn’t supposed to be delivered until the afternoon. Long after she’d left town. Dammit!
“That’s a nice bike. Knox’s, right? The one he wanted to rebuild. Cleo told you that, she said.” Cross dropped his arm to his side and moved closer. They were about six feet away. “You ever been skydiving?”
Shit. He knows.
“Addison?” He raised his brows. “Skydiving?”
She held up her finger and whispered, “Once.”
“You like it?”
“No.” She’d made a solemn vow the second her feet touched land, she would never do it again.
He smiled with a sharp nod. “Biker rally in South Dakota. You been?”
It was apparent, he was picking off the list, one by one.
“Last year.”
Cross slowly nodded. “You catch Knox’s favorite band while you were there?”
It was strictly by chance they’d been playing. They’d broken up a year earlier but had done one last show at the rally. Addison remembered her excitement like somehow it must’ve been fate. Two things Knox had wanted to do before he died, and she got to do both of them at once.
She nodded and yielded with a sigh. He knew everything.
“And I tried sushi for the first time. That, I liked.”
Cross glanced down at the floor and she caught a faint smile.
“What about hanging out with Knox’s family? The club and Cleo. You liked that too?”
Her eyes welled and she swallowed the knot in her throat. “I liked that a lot.”
He glanced up, eyeing her suspiciously. “No tattoos, right?”
She stared back at him, feeling all the emotion and fear weighing her down.
“I didn’t know.”
He grasped his hips, bowed his head, and cursed. “Fuck.”
“I swear I didn’t know, Cross.” Her voice cracked, and she inched closer. “But I’m gonna fix it. I’m going home, and the first thing I’ll do is go back to the shop and have it blacked out.”
He clasped his fingers, pulled his arms behind him, cradled his head, and looked up at the ceiling. He remained silent as if he hadn’t heard her. A lump lodged in her throat, and her skin prickled. She’d never had a panic attack, but she was showing signs.
“I promise, I’ll cover it up like it was never there. Please don’t cut it out or burn me.”
Cross jerked and slowly lowered his gaze. It was a look she hadn’t seen from him. It was a cross between bewilderment and rage.
“You think I’d do that to you?”
“Not you but the club.” Her breath came heavy. “I now know the significance behind it and the rules of only members wearing it. I only did it because Knox wanted to, and I thought it was a nice way to honor him. But I swear, I didn’t know about the rule.”
He dropped his arms to his sides. “Let me see it.”
She froze.
“You think I’m gonna hurt you?”
Did she? She shook her head, and he lifted his chin.
“Then show me.”
She’d fisted her hands so tightly there was a small ache when she loosened her grip. She drove her hands through her hair, gathered it up on her head, and slowly turned around to face the kitchen wall.
“The back of the neck,” he muttered. His steps were slow, but she heard them as he made his way toward her. His breath fanned over her skin. The room was completely silent.
“Property of Knox’s heart.” His voice was low and raspy.
Addison wasn’t very creative when it came to art, but she’d taken her time to design the perfect piece to reflect her tattoo for Knox. It was in the shape of an actual heart with the Killcreek Drifters insignia in the center and below in her own handwriting “Property of Knox’s heart.”
She flinched when his calloused fingers traced over the tattoo.
“I got it to honor him.”
“Yeah,” he whispered and grabbed her wrist, forcing her to let go of her hair, and he gently turned her around. “This is why you’re going home?”
She nodded. “I’m going to go back to the guy who did it and have him black it out. I swear, I didn’t know.”
“But you know now?”
Addison wouldn’t divulge that it was Ava who told her. This was a serious situation, and she wouldn’t involve someone who was trying to help her out.
“I randomly saw some video and realized I’d broken a huge rule, and it would come off disrespectful to the club.”
“Why didn’t you come to me instead of trying to leave?”
She shrugged. “I panicked.”
Cross dropped his chin to his chest, sighing heavily.
“I’ll just go home.”
He glanced up. “You trust me?”
She bit her lip, hesitating.
“Do you trust me?”
Did she?
“Yes,’ she whispered.
“Good.” He grabbed her hand, leading her to the front door.
“Where are we going?”
“To the clubhouse.”
What?
****
Regret was setting in. Telling the club about the tattoo was inevitable.
It had to be done. Cross could’ve easily let her leave to go home and have it removed.
But that’s not what he wanted. He’d reached out to Ace for a meeting.
And got it. But bringing Addison along with him may not have been the best plan.
Walking in, she was showing signs of panic and fear.
Even after all his reassurance, she was still nervous.
They’d never had to deal with this situation. Members didn’t leave Killcreek, but everyone knew the protocol. And they would follow through with removing the tattoo. It was sacred to them. It was a badge only a select group could wear. There were no exceptions. And she’s not one of us.
Once all the members were situated, Cross explained the situation.
He didn’t sugarcoat it or make excuses. Addison didn’t need any.
She didn’t have knowledge of the rule which made sense because up until a few weeks ago, she hadn’t been part of their world.
It was done with purpose to honor their fallen brother.
The room was silent, and the tension was high.
“She didn’t know.” It was the third time he’d repeated the sentiment in the last fifteen minutes.
“Who did it?” Ace’s tone was venomous.
It was a fair question. He’d asked Addison himself.
“A place back home. Said the guy was just starting out. Thinking he hasn’t learned all the rules yet either.”
Ace narrowed his eyes. “That’s an important one to learn.”
He gave a curt nod. “I agree.”
Cross wouldn’t dispute anything with his brothers. Had this been someone else, he’d be as livid as the rest of them.
“I’m willing to give a pass on this if she gets it blacked out,” Oak said.
There was an alternative, though he wasn’t sure how it would be received.
“Or she can keep it,” Cross said.
That got a reaction from most of the brothers with the exception of Wraith.
Oak snorted. “The patch we earned, the one we live on and breathe by, and you think she just gets to keep it?”
“The same patch Knox earned except he never got to wear it on his body. But his name is on hers.”
Gent snorted. “But she’s not a part of our club.”
“She’s a part, brother.” Cross said.
My part.
Ace stared back at him. The others weren’t reading his claim, but Ace was. Loud and clear. He turned in his chair to face Cross.
“The patch is forever, brother.”
“I know.”
Ace lowered his chin. “Is that what you’re telling us? Addison’s forever for you?”
“Yeah.” Cross didn’t even hesitate.
Ace smiled and sat back in his chair. “Alright, let’s do a vote. Wraith?”
He nodded, and so did Cypher when Ace went down the line.
“Yeah,” Cue said.
“She keeps it,” Ghost said.
Oak snorted and shook his head. “Fine, it stays.”
Without Hyde and Jekyll present, their vote was null and void. But it had to be unanimous. He angled his head toward Gent, who seemed to be enjoying the suspense.
“Can she add my name to the tat?” Gent asked.
“Not on your fucking life, asshole.”
Gent chuckled. “I’ll agree to let her keep it, if you agree that if she ever wants to add my name, she can.”
“I’ll agree to that ’cause it’ll never happen, motherfucker.”
Gent shrugged. “Never say never, brother.”
Ace tapped the table, gaining everyone’s attention. “She’s got mine, so she can keep it.”
The club had spoken. They walked out of the meeting to find Cleo and Addison standing near the bar. When he met her stare, he saw a flash of panic in her eyes. He subtly shook his head, hoping to put her at ease immediately. He would take her to his room and explain everything. Or so he thought.
“Well, since you get to keep it, let’s fucking see it, darlin’.”
“What?” Addison’s eyes swiftly moved over the men surrounding her.
Gent smirked. “Your tat.”
“My…” She looked over at Cross.
“Show them.” He said.
Addison hesitated until Cleo moved toward her.
“You got a tattoo? Can I see it?”
Addison smiled and slowly lifted her hair and turned. Cross watched Cleo’s face. No one appreciated it more than her. Or me.
She gasped, covering her mouth. Her voice was barely audible, but he heard her. “You got Knox’s tattoo! It’s beautiful.”
One by one the brothers checked it out. Ace was last in line and gave it a quick once over. He nodded at Cross and walked away. Approval.
Addison made her way over to him, looking more at ease from when they walked in.
She gestured to her neck. “So I don’t have to get it blacked out?”
“Not unless you leave me.”
Strings were attached but he didn’t expect an opposition on her end. And he didn’t get any.
“I need to cancel my flight.” She smiled. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Then you get to keep it forever.” He brushed his lips against her mouth, pulling her against his chest.
Killcreek was changing.
And maybe that’s not a bad thing.