Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
SATELLITE BY HARRY STYLES
It’s been a week. I got back on campus a few hours ago.
I drove three hours back, Bellamy’s playlist for me on shuffle, just like it has been the past week.
I spent every second I could with my mom and dad.
They always clear my head, and I’m glad I have a place I can always go back to no matter what I need.
I haven’t talked to Bellamy. I haven’t talked to anyone except Sienna all week.
To get my mind off of things I’ve begged her for any ounce of juicy details between her and Lawson, but she swears there isn’t any.
She says she hasn’t seen him since the New Year’s party which she claims she didn’t sleep with him at.
I don’t know if she’s telling the truth but she says I need to worry about fixing Bellamy and me before I worry about her and Lawson. Fair enough.
I was surprised that Sienna wasn’t waiting inside my apartment, bouncing off of the walls with excitement the minute I got back.
We never go too long without seeing each other.
Summer is the worst because we have to go at least a month before she cracks and comes up to see me for a week or so.
Lucky for us, I called Sienna and invited her over to come and sleep over tonight.
I’m sure she’ll have a million questions about Bellamy.
I’m at the stadium field right now. Summer sessions don’t start until tomorrow.
Meaning the field will be empty today, and it’s afternoon so I know Bellamy won’t be here.
I want to run, clear my mind more, and get myself in the right headspace for not only talking to Bellamy but summer sessions.
I park my mom’s car, and get out, bringing my bag with me.
I’m still wearing Bellamy’s shirt. It’s my favorite now.
I make it inside the stadium and start down the stairs, my eyes focusing on a group of cheerleaders, making their way off of the field, and up the stadium stairs.
My heart sinks straight down to my ass, panic setting in.
I don’t see her right away, and then I do, her short blonde hair flashing from within the group.
She has it half up half down, a sparkly cheer bow tied into it.
I’m not sure how she still looks good after what I assume was a practice but she does.
I make eye contact and then divert my eyes.
She hates me, and I kind of hate her. I don’t need any more drama or trouble.
I’m not one to back down, but for my sake, and Bellamy’s, I think confrontation needs to be avoided.
Even if that is against my normal judgment.
I pass by the group, no words exchanged, and let out a quiet sigh of relief. Thank god.
“Hey girls, I’ll be up in a second, okay?” I hear her voice, and I cringe, knowing what’s about to come.
I keep walking though, pretending like I didn’t just hear that.
“Kamryn, wait up!”
I want to pretend like I didn’t just hear her, but insanity would be the only explanation since she was loud and clear. So I stop, right at the entrance of the field, and I turn to see her jogging back down the steps.
I’m short. At least compared to most, but Leah is a different level of short if she’s smaller than I am.
I angle my head down to look at her. I take her in, her nervous look.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen her with anything but a scowl on her face.
Be nice, be nice, be nice. I repeat it in my head, knowing it will do me no good to be a bitch to her. Even if she does somewhat deserve it.
“What’s up, Leah?” I ask, staying neutral.
“I wanted to talk to you…” She starts strong, and I just stare at her. “I wanted to apologize to you, and I know you like to talk, so just don’t do that right now so I can say what I need to say,” She speaks quickly.
“The floor is yours,” I wave my hand between the two of us, letting her have what she wants.
“I shouldn’t have said the things that I said.
I was mad, and I was jealous, and I thought I was making him see something he couldn’t see before.
But that was dumb because Bellamy is… Well, he’s a good person and he doesn’t care about all the stupid stuff…
The stuff I shouldn’t care about either.
It’s not my business who you, or anyone sleeps with.
Even if it is my ex-boyfriend,” She clarifies.
“To be honest, I said it without thinking which doesn’t make it better.
I just always saw you as someone who didn’t care.
I was saying what I did so it would hurt him, not you…
and when I saw the look on your face, and all of his friends react the way they did.
I realized that I did more than what I intended so I’m sorry,” She finishes.
I raise my eyebrows. “Can I talk now?” I ask, and she nods, resting her weight on her left side. “I’m assuming you were the one telling people I was fucking Bellamy to make you jealous… That we had some deal going on?” I ask and she sighs.
“No actually, it was one of the girls on the cheer team. She thought it would get her brownie points from me, that I would buddy up with her, but it just made me feel worse. I never wanted people to hate him or you. I just wanted my ex back, and I realized after your party that wasn’t going to happen.
He was always a good guy but he wasn’t good for me.
Bellamy never looked at me the way he looked at you.
He never cared the way he does with you.
Or maybe I never let him, I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter.
I shut the rumor down. I told her if she ever said anything like that again that I’d have her suspended from the team. ”
Leah’s words are shocking. I never expected her to admit to any of this. To own up to it.
“I appreciate your apology. I’m assuming you said the same thing to him?” I ask and she nods.
“Something similar. I also apologized for just being a bitch to him in general. About you, about our break up. For breaking up with him. I don’t always have the best judgment at times,” She explains.
“So, what does this mean then?” I ask.
“It means we go through senior year civilly. We still go to each other's parties and we stay neutral. Even if you are sleeping with my ex,” She shoots me a look, and I wait for a beat.
Both of us stare at each other and it’s slow, but both of us break into a smile. I laugh softly, my eyes trailing to the ground. Leah and I have never been close. We’ve never been best friends. We’ve never truly gotten along and this newfound civility isn’t going to change that.
“Alright, that’s fine with me,” I nod.
“I’m not going to hug you, though. I still kind of hate you,” She explains and I smile, nodding.
“I still kind of hate you too,” I agree, and she takes a step up and nods.
“Good. I’m going to go now,” She starts to leave awkwardly.
I watch her go and sigh.
“For the record, Leah… I’m not just sleeping with him. I don’t know if that makes this better or worse, but I actually have feelings for him,” I tell her, and she stops and looks at me.
“It doesn’t matter how I feel because it’s not my relationship… But it does kind of make it better,” She nods and looks down.
Then she turns around and leaves.
I feel good knowing that I’ve made amends with Leah. I feel like even if I’m not someone’s biggest fan that girls have to stick together. That we have to be on each other's side, and as much as Leah and I don’t get along, I know it would’ve picked at me if I didn’t at least hear her out.
I get out of the shower, my body fresh after my run.
I went harder and longer today than normal.
Usually, I only do a mile, and call it, but today I ran almost three.
I needed to relieve the stress I feel over tomorrow.
It’s not all gone either. Running helped though.
I drop my towel and throw on a hoodie, and a pair of underwear.
I brush through my wet hair and walk from my bedroom to my living room.
“Ahh! What the fuck, Sienna!” I shout, noticing her rummaging through my fridge.
She opens the freezer door now.
“What? I told you I was coming over,” She shrugs, turning back to the freezer. “When did you go to the grocery store?”
She pulls out the brand new tub of strawberry fudge ice cream and opens it before I can protest.
“This morning when I got home. Can you start buying your own groceries for my apartment?” I ask her, walking over to the kitchen.
I open the utensil drawer and get a spoon. I push myself up on the counter, and Sienna stands in front of me, both of us, eating the ice cream straight from the carton.
“Have you talked to Bellamy yet?” She asks and I shake my head.
“No, I don't want to say anything before summer sessions start. Just in case shit goes wrong,” I explain.
“Nothing is going to go wrong. What could go wrong?” She waves her hands, the ice cream carton waving in them.
I follow them with my spoon, trying to dig out more ice cream from the moving carton.
“Everything. It’s me, I’m me, I don’t do this. Everything could go wrong in this situation. With my luck I’ll get struck by lightning or something the minute I tell him I love him,” I shove my mouth full of strawberries and chocolate fudge.
“Fid wou just saw the L wod!” Sienna’s words are a muffled shout and even though I can’t understand her I still cringe at her volume.
“Ow,” I bite back with my words.
“Hello, answer? Love? Kamryn Hart is in love?” She asks and I narrow my eyes.
“Did I forget to tell you that part?” I ask and Sienna waves her hands manically.
“Um yes! That’s like the biggest part of all of this! You don’t just forget to tell me you fell in love with a big stupid jock! Hello?” She asks and I laugh.
“You can’t say anything about me and my big stupid jock considering you’re fucking a big stupid jock,” I correct.
“Ah! Incorrect. I fucked a big stupid jock. Past tense. It only happened two times,” She clarifies and I choke on my ice cream.
“TWO TIMES?” I scream, and her eyes widen.
“Did I forget to tell you that part?” She asks and I scoff.
“Oh, you are such a hypocrite,” I roll my eyes but keep the smirk on my lips. “Tell me, was his dick bigger the second time?” I ask and Sienna rolls her eyes now.
“For someone who has had sex at least a million times, you should know the anatomy of a male better than I do. No, it was just as big as it was the first time,” She shakes her head and I smile.
“It’s at least a billion times at this point and I don’t know if it gets bigger the second time. I normally only see them once and chase them away,” I clarify.
“Well, you didn’t chase one of them away,” She raises her eyebrows and I shrug my shoulders, and shake my head.
“I don’t know about that,” I watch and she sighs.
“I guess we’ll see tomorrow at summer sessions,” She gives me a smile and I smile back.
I’m happy to be reunited with my best friend.
However, I'm not so happy about the sinking feeling in my stomach. I’m nervous about summer sessions.
I’m more nervous to see Bellamy. Especially because I never told him I was coming back.