Chapter 12 – Jack
JACK
"So, here's a question for you," Luke said after a few quiet moments. "Are you strictly a top?"
Jack's hand stilled on Luke's back. "Why do you ask?"
"Just curious."
"I don't know… Top/bottom, gay/bi… all these labels you've gotta pick."
"Have you? Picked?"
"I've always been bi, I suppose. But it's not a big struggle. I like who I like—and it hasn't been many of either variety, really. You… a few guys in school out of town, no one else in the service… then Anna…"
"Is that a long way of telling me you never bottom?"
"I mean, I have. But it's not... I haven't done it often."
"Because you don't like it?"
"No, it's OK." Jack stared at the ceiling. "It's hard for me. It feels… like I'm opening myself up."
They both laughed.
"Well, yeah—it is opening yourself up, of course," Jack said. "But I mean more than just physically. Losing control like that, giving something I haven’t given many times."
Luke propped himself up to look at Jack. "I feel totally in control when I'm giving myself like that. It's really a masculine thing to do. Seriously!"
They both looked at each other with raised eyebrows.
"And it doesn't have to be about losing control," Luke said. "It can be about giving it to someone you trust."
Jack met his eyes. "That's the hard part."
Luke held his gaze for a long moment, then smiled and lay back down. "Well, if you ever want to try, I'm a pretty trustworthy guy."
"I know," Jack said quietly.
Luke's phone buzzed on the nightstand, breaking the moment.
He reached for it, read the screen, and smiled. "Mara wants to know if we want to come over for pizza and Uno."
"Tonight?"
"Yeah, six o'clock." Luke set the phone down. "We don't have to. I know you've probably had enough social time for one day."
Jack surprised himself. "Let's go."
Luke propped himself up on one elbow. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. Why not?"
Luke's smile was slow and warm. "Okay, but fair warning. Marco cheats at Uno, and Nita will make you read to her."
"I can handle it."
"And Mara will probably corner you in the kitchen and give you some version of the 'protective best friend' speech."
Jack pulled Luke down for a kiss and reassurance. "I said I can handle it."
They showered—separately this time, for efficiency—and dressed. Jack in jeans and a sweater, Luke in his usual fitted Henley and boots.
As they walked to the Jeep, Luke playfully bumped into Jack's shoulder. "You sure about this? Game night with two kids can be... a lot."
"I'm sure."
And he was. Mostly.
The drive to Mara's took ten minutes. The house was a two-story craftsman with toys scattered across the front porch and warm light glowing in every window.
Before Jack could knock, the door flew open, revealing Marco, grinning. "Uncle Luke!"
"Hey, buddy." Luke ruffled his hair. "Say hi to Jack."
Marco looked up at Jack and asked, "Did you bring your uniform?"
"Not today."
"Aw, man."
Nita appeared behind her brother. "Uncle Luke, I got a new book," she said eagerly. "Will you read it to me?"
"After pizza," Luke promised.
Inside, the house smelled of cheese and oregano. Mara emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. "Hey, you two," she said. "Help yourselves to drinks. They're in the fridge. Pizza's almost ready."
Julio waved from the living room, where he was setting up the coffee table for Uno.
"Luke, tell your friend that cheating is not a valid strategy."
Luke laughed. "He's talking about Marco, not you."
Jack grabbed a beer for himself and a can of sparkling water for Luke. The kitchen was small and warm, filled with everyday signs that a busy family lived there—backpacks on hooks, crayon drawings on the fridge, a dog bowl in the corner.
This was part of Luke's world. It wasn't just The Ridge, the gym, or the carefully maintained house with the hot tub. It was this, too. Pizza boxes, board games, and people who loved him without question.
They ate at the dining table—four adults, two kids, paper plates, and three different kinds of pizza. Nita insisted on sitting next to Luke. Marco wanted to know if Jack had ever shot anyone. Mara quickly redirected that line of questioning.
"Did you have fun at soccer today?" Luke asked Marco.
"Yeah! Coach said I'm getting faster."
"That's because you actually ran this time," Julio said, "instead of picking dandelions."
"That was one time last season!"
They moved to the living room to play Uno. Jack sat on the couch while the others spread out on the floor. Clearly in his element, Luke teased the kids, gave Julio shit, and laughed when Nita made Julio draw four cards.
"That's cheating!" Nita yelled.
"That's strategy," Luke corrected, ruffling her hair.
Jack watched more than he played, taking in the scene. The way Luke folded into this family made it seem as if he'd always belonged there.
Because he had.
At one point, Nita climbed into Luke's lap with her new book, something about a dragon and a princess. "Read it, Uncle Luke. Please?"
"Okay, let's." Luke opened the book, and Nita settled against him.
Jack felt something well up in him, almost like pride, as he watched them. This was Luke's warmest gift, his ability to be fully present with people. Maybe it's easier with children. They're clear about what they need, so you have no choice but to give it to them if you can.
Later, while Julio, Luke, and the kids were picking up the pizza boxes, Mara caught Jack alone in the kitchen.
"Can I say something?" she asked quietly.
"Sure."
She poured herself another glass of wine. "Luke seems really happy lately. Happier than I've seen him in a long time."
Jack glanced through the doorway toward the others. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Mara looked at him directly. "Because if you're just... figuring things out or whatever, or killing time… don't let him think it's more than it is. Just... don't make me regret saying I've seen him happy with you, okay?"
Jack set down his beer. "I'm not trying to hurt him, Mara."
"I know. But trying and doing are different things."
Jack was getting a little tired of the Mama Bear thing. He wasn't going to defend himself to Mara or explain his emotions to her, his regret, his hopes. Can't we just have a nice time tonight?
Mara must've sensed what he was thinking. She picked up her wine glass and said, "Come on. Marco's probably teaching Luke how to cheat at the next game."
They stayed another hour. More games. More laughter. After three rounds of Uno, Nita was winding down, and Julio carried her upstairs, with Marco following. When Jack and Luke finally said goodnight, Mara hugged Luke tightly.
"Love you, babe."
"Love you too."
To Jack: "Good to see you again, Colonel."
"Jack," he said. "Just Jack is fine."
She smiled. "Okay. Jack."
In the Jeep, Luke exhaled and leaned his head back against the seat. "Sorry if that was too much."
"It wasn't." Jack started the engine. "They're good people. I can see why you love them."
"Yeah." Luke's voice was soft. "They're my family. The one I got to choose."
Jack reached over and squeezed Luke's knee. Luke covered Jack's hand with his own, and they drove back toward Luke's place like that.
In the driveway, Jack put the Jeep in park but didn't turn off the engine.
Luke looked over. "You want to come in?"
Jack wanted to. But he also felt done. He'd spent the whole day in Luke's world—the soccer field, the hotel room, and Mara's house—and it had been good. Really good.
But now he needed space to process it. To be alone.
"Rain check?" he said. "It's been a long day."
Luke smiled. "Good long or bad long?"
"Good." Jack leaned over and kissed him. "Really good."
He meant it.
Luke got out, and Jack watched him walk to the front door, Marley's excited barking already audible from inside. Snow was falling heavily in big, beautiful flakes. Luke turned and waved before disappearing into the house.
Jack drove back to the hotel slowly, replaying the day in his head. The soccer field. The kids. Luke reading to Nita. Mara's quiet warning in the kitchen.
“He's happy. Don't make me regret saying that.”
It had been good. Luke's life was good. The people who loved him were good.
Jack didn't know whether he knew how to be part of something like that without eventually breaking it.
“Don't let him think it's more than it is.”
But what if it already was?
What if that was the problem?