Chapter 20

The growl was something I didn't expect.

Something triggered inside me.

I felt it. Fear.

I don't remember feeling this emotion. It was foreign to me, yet so familiar. I don't remember it dancing inside me yet I remember decelerating it.

Abandoning it, throwing it away, treating it as nothing.

It sent shivers down my spine. The hair on my arms stood up as if threat was upon me. It was overwhelming.

It was something I've never expected to feel after all those years. My head throbbed, something started to play inside my head.

Red, orange, yellow.

Flames.

"Katie! There's a fire! We need to get out of here quickly!" Somebody in my mind spoke.

I closed my eyes and held my forehead. It was my mind, playing me. Tricking me into the past, leading me into painful memories.

I can hear her footsteps coming closer, along with several others yet I paid attention to only one thing.

Katie.

Katie.

Katie.

Why do I despise that name?

"Run Katie! We don't have much time. You need to leave me here." It was a boy. His voice was so sweet yet it was quivering with fear.

My mind suddenly flashed a boy who is crying, he was on the ground, his half body was stabbed by a metal, blood surrounded him. The metal was small yet sharp enough to pierce him. He was being engulfed in flames.

Yet he looked at me and smiled.

"I love you, Katie." He whispered yet it was so loud in my ears. So so loud, so painful.

I stood there, a few meters away, just stood there.

I didn't move, didn't think, didn't blink.

My hands were twitching, having to urge to move even a little, I need to reach him.

Why? What's happening? Why can't I move? Am I paralyzed? I need to save him.

Him.

Him.

Him.

Who is he?

Then I recognized it so vividly, it was only a memory.

I was in over my head and was becoming lost. I knew I was drowning in my own thoughts, yet I did nothing but watch.

It took a lot of energy just keeping my eyes open.

And then I lost consciousness, just like how I lost him.

It hurts. Everything hurts. Every part of my body was burning, like I was on fire.

I began to clutch my head, trying to stop the pain, anything to get away from what I was feeling.

I needed to be free.

Warm hands stopped me before I could tear my whole hair out. But I couldn't open my eyes, like it was glued shut and only one solution can remove it.

And like the soldier I was, I obeyed.

He holds something inside me, the reason why it's so easy for him to control me, manipulate me, or maybe calm me.

I let go of my hair and tried to calm myself down, but the aching memories keeps emerging in my mind.

Playing on repeat. I screamed. I screamed so loud, I'm afraid someones ear will rupture.

But I was also afraid of my own mind. It was torturing me, holding me prisoner. I couldn't take it.

I need to fight. What was it that I was fighting, though? It was so haphazard that I couldn't even remember what I was saying as I kept whittering.

However it was cut short when I felt a needle enter my skin, tearing it apart.

I groaned and licked my dry lips. I was panting heavily.

I couldn't hold it anymore, so I succumbed to the darkness.

And darkness was more than happy to welcome me with its open arms.

The doctor bowed shamelessly.

The Alpha thought about it.

An Emosh is also a type of doctor yet solely focuses on emotions.

They are known all over the world for their expertise. Some of them are therapists, psychiatrists, a psychologist and other careers that involve emotions or the mind.

He was looking at her. Just staring. He contemplated what to do with her.

Throw her out or keep her?

It was simple really, he had to choose the latter if he wants to avoid conflict with Tammys pack.

Tammy was worried sick about Katie, yet she held her tongue and waited patiently in the living room.

He took the empty seat beside the bed.

He was hosting the Confidant Games yet he had a woman laying beside him.

'I'd like to see my Mothers face when she finds out.' He chuckled lightly.

He looked at her again. Her slim face, her nose, her lips, her eyelashes. He studied every single thing.

Her brows were furrowed together. She was having a nightmare. Maybe even worse.

He doesn't know what's happening inside her head, all he could do was watch, but he needs to leave.

He needs to squash some flies, he was excited. He thought of what to do when he gets down there.

The screams, oh the screams. His ears ache for it.

He was dangerous.

Lethal.

Yet beside her he was nothing but a loss puppy.

He left the room to deal with the rogues and to monitor the games.

Fuck, everything hurts. Did I fall off a cliff or something?

I tried opening my eyes and looked around me. At first it was blurry but my eyes were adjusting.

I looked around. I was in a room I wasn't familiar with. The window was slightly open, light and breeze was filling the room.

I was laying on a bed, it was a dark shade of blue. The pillows were so soft I almost forgot what I should be doing.

Unfair, why didn't I get this kind of pillow in my room.

Damn favoritism.

I slowly sat up but felt so much pain behind me. I immediately laid back down.

A knock came through the door. Before I could ask who they are, the door opened.

Damn manners.

I rolled to my side to get a better view who it was, ready to shout at them. My irritation immediately faltered when I recognized Tammys face.

She rushed towards me, she put the tray she was holding on the table beside me and held me down.

I smiled warmly at her kindness. She picked up the tray and handed it to me.

I chuckled, she probably meant I hadn't eaten much and was beginning to lose weight.

Damn old ways of speaking.

I took it, thanking her and put it in front of me. It had a clubhouse, an orange juice, bacon and eggs.

It was mouthwatering. Yummy.

I can live with this.

The room was silent, it was peaceful.

I smiled and ate my food happily.

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· Fear, one word yet it holds so many things. Never trust your fears, they don't know your strength. ·

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