The Longing

Chapter 48

Shit, shit.

Did I mention shit?

A collection of gasps rang around, Kris hiding her opened mouth as she looks at Delila in shock.

Van was already standing up in case something were to happen and Sen looked at her in worry.

"Your eyes are bleeding..." I hold her, afraid she might collapse as her eyes continue to blink rapidly.

The blood just keeps flowing from her, I don't know what to do as I stand there while she looks at me.

"It's you. I kn-knew it. I-I can still fe-feel your s-soul." She breathes in relief, a smile slowly forming on her lips.

Diana finally speaks in hesitation, "Delila, what is it you are seeing my child?"

But Delila didn't turn around to face her mother, no. She stayed rooted on the spot and continues to watch me through my eyes.

I realized that she was using her gifts on me. It appears that she has inherited her father's ability to feel emotions and decipher them.

But it's strange how her eyes didn't change color. It just brightened up her irises as I look at it.

"You're reading me, aren't you?"

She nods in response, her eyes looking between mine back and forth. "What are you looking for?"

She's looking at me through my eyes and touching me. That must mean she has a strong hold on me and can help me find out what's wrong with my emotions.

"I a-a-lready found it-t." She smiles again, the blood flowing still.

"That fast?" I raise my eyebrow in question. She nods, a smile on her face. I cringe inwardly as I witness the blood drip down her lips, to her perfectly white teeth.

"You're creeping me out."

I tried wiping the blood on her cheeks but to no avail as Delila kept the tears flowing. "Please, don't cry."

She shook her head. "I am unab-ble to hold it in. I c-can't believe i-it."

Her stutters keep growing worse.

"What is it, Delila?" Demitri is the one to ask, authority on his voice.

"F-father. It's her." Delila finally lets go of me and runs to her father, clinging to him.

Demitri's eyes automatically glowed blue, he wrapped his arms around her and holds her steady. Diana comes up beside them and puts her hand on Demitri's shoulder, watching his eyes move between Delila's as he reads her own daughter.

"What could this mean? How can she suddenly speak after all those years?" Tears of overwhelming relief streamed down Diana's face, as if it's the first time she has heard the sound of her daughter's own voice.

Demitri audibly gasps, finally letting go of his daughter who now stands on her on two feet. Delila is smiling widely while looking at her father, nodding her head to confirm whatever it is he found from her.

"May the goddess help me." His eyes were back to their normal brown when he turns to me. His eyes were filled with hope and despair. I look at him in question, wondering what the hell did he see.

Sen, who looks confused as I am, was the one to ask Delila to tell us what she saw and how important it is.

"S-sen! Ca-can't you s-see? She's b-back. It is-s h-her. Her s-soul is a-al-live i-in her." Delila points to my chest.

"Delila, I have not the faintest notion of your intent. You are not suppose to speak about her, certainly not when the Alpha is closer than ever." Sen says warily, looking around frantically as if someone will pop up to end her.

"Delila, you know better than anyone not to..." Van trailed off, scratching his head in frustration. Delila only shook her head but her smile remained plastered on her face.

As if realizing something, her face lights up and finally, answers the question I so desperately seek.

"I-I...uh-uhm. I-I w-w-was t-there tha-at night b-because m-my sen-senses called t-to h-her."

"What's with the continuous stutter?"

A feminine voice spoke from beside me. I groaned in annoyance. "Shut up, Kris. Have some decency." To which she scoffs. "It's obvious she hasn't spoken for a long time. She needs to get used to it."

Not waiting for her response, Delila continues to answer the question. "I-I was no-ot that c-c-close t-to w-where-re you s-said y-you were. I was o-out f-for a-a wa-lk-lk, a walk."

She gulps. "I w-wanted to b-be al-alone and l-look at the n-n-night sky. All o-of t-the sudden-en, t-there's this p-pull, l-like some k-kind of s-string that is s-somewh-what a-attached to m-me and I f-felt the h-hardest tug."

"Only-y then d-did I realize i-it w-was the s-string that w-was always c-c-connected to m-my best friend.

That b-b-bond, we f-forged it b-back when we were c-c-children.

W-we p-promised each o-o-other we w-w-would not c-cut it, whatever h-happens, so I refused-ed to severe i-it when sh-sh-she died. "

"I'll be damned." Van exhaled in a sharp, panting breath as his face finally lit up in understanding. He looks at me differently, a little too sweet which I'm not used to.

I prefer his banters with me and insults instead of this uh, whatever the fuck it is.

Sen wrapped her hand around her brother's arm, but she was looking at me in fondess.

"I still have no clue what's happening and why we keep talking about her." I chuckle awkwardly. "She's taboo, remember?"

"But you are her." Sen says, confusing me.

"Argh, not you too. Can you guys brainwash people now?"

Diana shakes her head in amusement. "If they truly speak of the truth, we must tell Titus immediately."

At the mention of his name, my fight-or-flight response triggered.

"No!"

I yelled, startling everyone, excluding Kris. Oops.

I cleared my throat and told them not to bring Titus into my problem and if possible, never let him know about what happened here at all.

"No?" Diana speaks, her tone becoming elevated. "Given your return and your established presence here, there exists no motive for him to abandon us and construct another life out of here."

"New home?" She nods. "You talking about that pack he took down and tried rebuilding it?" Nodding again.

"He's not trying to rebuild it, he already has." Demitri says in a low voice.

"We can forbid him from moving far away. He will have no reason to leave and go. Has the goddess finally heard of our prayers?" Diana says excitedly.

I recall Sen telling me that Titus went on a rampage when they were teenagers. That the moment she took her last breath, it was as if Titus took his last too. She told me that Titus became distant and cold over the years, never once asking them how they were and if they were okay.

His world stopped revolving and when he couldn't hold it in anymore, he went rogue and didn't return for months.

They said a year passed and he came back to reclaim his place, but Titus was not the same. He grew taller, rugged, and empty. She also said that he refused to talk to anyone and declared the pack an independent one when he took the Alpha title.

They only recently found out what happened to him outside their borders when a lone wolf got lost and ended up in their land.

This lone wolf was the sole survivor of Titus' outrage, his home gone within the night because a goddamn hormonal teenager thinks it's okay to destroy other people's lives because he felt hurt.

"Wait, you guys don't know where he lives when he's not around, do you?" Everyone shook their heads except Kris, looking at them in worry.

"But why won't he tell you?" Kris asked, her voice laced with confusion and a hint of accusation. "You guys are practically family if I can recall your stories. You and the Alpha and her were so close."

"That doesn't change the fact that he's not who he is anymore, Kris." Van grunted out, frustration heavy in his voice.

"He no longer needs us, he has no reason to be in this pack even. We are pawns to his games, moving us whenever he pleases and would gladly do so just to stay alive."

"What are you saying, Van? That he can kill you just because he wants to?" He gave no response to my question.

"W-what?" My voice came out as a startled whisper.

"If you observe him, you will see." Sen says, her voice low and serious, cutting through the tension. "Like I have stated, ever since the goddess has claimed her, Titus never batted an eye about us anymore and it worsened when he grew up."

"That doesn't make sense!" I say in frustration. "You guys have a past with him yet you speak of him like he's a stranger to you. Hell, you guys were all friends!"

"N-no, L-lyn." Delila hooks her arm with her mother.

"He's the one that they call, the Dark Alpha."

"Yeah, I know. It has no effect to him knowing about this anyways."

Demitri says, "I assure you, it is not what you think it is. And should he discover about you, he would surely alter his disposition."

"And we look forward to it." Diana smiles.

I shook my head. "Whatever. No one should say anything to Titus about what happened, let alone what you found inside me."

That sounded so weird. It felt like they went ahead and opened up my body to see inside.

"Katie..."

"Lyn..."

Shaking my head once more, I spoke with a stern voice.

"He's handling enough matters about his pack for him to involve himself in my concerns.

I came here on my own accord, and I say everything that has occurred shall stay within this walls.

Not one person outside should hear anything about today. None."

"But Katie, Titus will know what to do." Says Sen.

"What makes you think I don't?" Gulping, she looked away.

I sigh. "Look. I came here to find answers about my parents. I don't need other dramas to worm their way into my life."

"This game. The King and Queen. Him. Everyone in this pack." I look at them one by one.

"You guys are forcing me to focus on everything else but my sole purpose as to why I'm here."

The continued pressure, the torture that I have endured just to survive makes me question my decisions in following anyone at this point.

I even sometimes forget what I'm here for. But this discussion made me realize it. Whatever happens to me, whatever it is I'm trying to accomplish, I'm doing it for my parents and Kris. My family.

"I'm only here, still standing, is because I refuse to die until I know my parents are safe and get my little sister home. For fuck's sake she has a life! I do too. Now, you can dress me in lovely gowns and feed me delicious food all day, but it won't stop me from looking for my family."

"Don't be harsh, nerd."

I hissed at Kris. "This is me being kind."

"Yeah, right." Rolling her eyes, she turned to Delila and smiles.

"Delila, why do you guys call him the Dark Alpha?" I scoff. She looks at me with annoyance.

"What? That he's more beast than man? That basically sums up all the stories I've heard. Destroying other packs, changing himself, what else?"

"You got it wrong." Demitri speaks.

Delila shakes her head, getting my attention. "Lyn, w-we c-c-call h-him t-the D-dark Alpha because he d-does not b-b-believe i-in t-the Goddess any-anymore."

My eyes widened in response. "Oh."

Shit.

"Oh damn." Kris comes closer to me.

"And you didn't bother to tell me?" I glared at Sen.

She shrugged. "I believed that you would have known by now."

"Sen!" Kris hissed.

"What?"

I never knew that. They all kept saying it was because he lost the one he treasured the most. They didn't tell me it was because he doesn't believe or worship anyone or anything that makes him the Dark Alpha.

"What's that got to do with me?"

"A man with no morals, no gods or goddess, nothing to follow, is nothing but a vessel of evil."

"But you're here now, Katie. There is still a chance to turn things around."

I laughed sarcastically.

"The hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You must tell Titus." I shook my head in anger.

"I told you not to bring it up in front of his face. Ain't no fucking way I'm talking to his ass."

Everyone quieted. Now they see the problem.

Me.

I refuse to talk to Titus. No way. And like a switch, I felt the fatigue take over my body. It's been a day and I'd like to rest. Talking about this doesn't help remove this pressure off me.

"I'm gonna go home."

And I'm so glad no one complained. Delila was escorted back to her room, her eyes lingering on me as the lady held her. Demitri walked us to the door with his wife clinging to him.

Sen and Van were behind Kris and I. I didn't say goodbye, I didn't say anything at all as I kept walking.

Not turning back around, I grabbed my boots and went out, not bothering to see if Kris and the siblings are right behind me.

The car was quiet the whole ride back. Even Kris didn't utter a word. She just looked out the window with a frown on her face.

The two in front didn't even speak to each other. But I know they have a lot to say once they're alone. They know something I don't and they won't tell me.

It's pissing me the fuck off.

Imagine diving into unknown territory, then you seek answers because you're unfamiliar with it. So you trust people, talk to them so you can gain knowledge and understanding about the world you're currently in.

But those very people you trust, refuse to say anything about the matter, leaving you out. I should feel very angry but I can't.

It's because I know they'd be putting their life on the line. Titus is... he's unstable at the moment. He's barely rational and I can see that he doesn't care about anyone other than those people who benefit him.

He's such a narcissistic son of a bitch but I understand why. I'm not trying to justify the stuff he's doing but it's how he's doing it.

There's this one time, I saw him talk to a little boy. He was smiling and stuff, it was creepy. Nonetheless, he looked happy and free.

It's when he saw me did his smile disappear and he was back to his usual brooding self.

Such a great attitude towards me.

There's something left inside of him that makes him still the Titus they know back then. It was like he built this shell, this dark shell of him to protect himself against all, well, everything and everyone.

A persona. Or at least that's what Carl Jung used to say.

Once we reached the house, I didn't waste time and climbed up towards my room, making sure to lock the door behind me.

As the day continued, no one bothered me so I read all day and rested.

When night came, someone knocked and had let me known that the next and last game is tomorrow.

I groaned on my pillow. Fuck it.

"Ladies, I fear two among you shall not clad themselves in armor for today's trial."

The speaker booms, catching the attention of me and the others. The crowd roared in excitement, as the two people who failed to answer their riddles walked to us shamelessly, only a handful of cloth to cover their most important areas.

No heavy armor in sight.

I sigh in boredom. Is this the best they can do to make it 'entertaining'? If this was a fight and they have nothing heavy to carry, it's an advantage to them. The only problem they have is they can't hold any weapons on them, nowhere to put it.

"Welcome everyone, to our last and final tournament for the crown." The crowd quiets down, waiting for the speaker to continue.

"Who shall win this one, shall take the throne and crown."

Above us, the chairs, thrones are empty, no Titus or Derek sitting on them. Everyone is looking at it like it's their own, their eyes sparkling with pride.

"And she who takes the throne and crown, shall mate with the Alpha and forever rule the pack. Failure to do so, shall fall down."

"Werewolves, I present to you, the Alpha and the Beta!"

Everyone rose to murmurs, the people watching growing from hushed tones, into full blown conversations in a matter of seconds.

Titus and Derek enters the arena, their bodies cladded in armor. Derek wore a silvered armor, his Beta logo on his chest that is puffed up. The look on his face is serious as he scans his surroundings.

Titus' armor was dark. It looks like it was made with the darkest material to ever exist but yet, it reflects the sun's light with how they shined it. Titus wore a mask of indifference, his eyes straight ahead, never wavering.

They stop and stand in front of us, shoulder to shoulder. The speaker once again spoke. "We have tested everyone's ability to befit a Luna. A leader, a mother, and a true born wolf."

"We have seen your abilities, your skills and we have also witnessed how amazing one's memories work in the field of battle."

I shake my hands in nervousness. "This is no normal tournament. You shall fight the two leaders to reign this challenge."

Everyone gasps, including the women participating. I took a deep breath and tried to relax my breathing. Deep down, I'm panicking.

"They shall not stop until their opponent has surrendered or has died due to injuries or they decide to end you."

Oh shit.

They erupted to roars, people shouting to do our best to survive, some even said death to the weaklings.

But I didn't pay attention to any of their chants. I'm looking at this two assholes in front of us. There was no reaction from both Titus and Derek. They know what's happening and they still tolerate it?

This is wrong. Derek isn't the violent type, I know him since his first deployment. And Titus wouldn't want unnecessary brawls, let alone challenge us to a duel or some shit.

What changed?

"Let us begin!"

A buzzer sounds off and the crowd quiets down. I took it as my chance to speak up. "The hell are you guys doing?"

Titus was the first one to turn his eyes to me, anger reflecting in them. "I did not give you permission to speak. Should you do it again, I shall cut your tongue in a flash."

He's trying to intimidate me but I refuse to back down. I was gonna give him a piece of my mind when Derek cut me off, a frown on his face.

"Let's cut to the chase. Titus and I shall pick who we want to duel. If you lose, we decide if you can keep your life. If we're the one to lose, you duel the other one. Can't have you dueling just one now, can't we?"

I closed my fist in anger. Their tradition to defeat all those people in their ranks just to obtain the Alpha position, is clearly being passed down to us as we fight for another high position, one equal to the Alpha role itself.

"What? Why are we supposed to fight you? This is no matter of the position but the matter of strength!" One girl exclaims, earning a nod of approval from other women.

"You take what you are given, no questions asked." Titus growls.

"You chose this path, now see to it that you finish til' the end." With that, he turns around and walks away, leaving Derek to stare at us.

He points to a woman, one of those who loss because they couldn't answer the riddle. She had no armor on her and Derek knows how to fucking poke.

Son of a bitch learned from the best.

"You. With me." Derek turns around and heads for the uplifted ground, no barrier around it to stop anything.

The girl whimpers but follows him anyways, her hands shaking as tears form in her eyes. Fuck, they're serious.

"Derek, stop this." He continues to walk to the uplifted ground, refusing to turn around as the woman trails behind him.

"Just do it, Kate. You pissed the Alpha off. This is the consequences of your actions." He growls.

Kate.

He calls me that name when he's angry or not in the mood. I looked at him dumbfounded, can't figure out what he's talking about.

I didn't get a chance to say more as he jumps to the platform, the woman walking up the few stairs and stands a few inches in front of Derek.

"Stand your ground. If you can." The woman hiccups, looking at Derek in fear. Nevertheless, she put herself in a defensive position, readying herself for Derek's attacks.

A second passes, two, and then came the signal of the start of the duel. I exhaled heavily as I watch Derek punch the woman in the gut.

She manages to block but the punch was so great, it broke her defense. She gasps loudly and lost her stance. Derek took that chance to inflict more damage to his opponent.

He punches her stomach once more, swipes her off her feet and looks at her in pity. He then turned to Titus who hands him his sword, the woman begs to be spared with tears in her eyes.

He turns to the woman, "You do not deserve to live. You reek of fear and cowardness. This is the only mercy I shall show you as I end you easily with my sword."

"Derek!" But he didn't hear me, or refused to hear me as he sliced the woman's head clean off her body, her screams cut off with a gurgle.

I gasp, my hand closing on my mouth as I witness death claim another victim. Derek holds his bloodied sword, panting heavily while looking at the head with nothing but anger.

What the hell is making them so angry?

Derek then points to me, handing his sword back to Titus. Fuck.

I got up, shook my hands and feet to remove the growing unease. I waited for the countdown and the moment I hear the buzz, I lunged for him.

I saw the moment he tried to strike so I dodged successfully, making sure to put distance between us.

My duel with Derek has always been him losing and me reading his moves. With my heightened senses because of fear and adrenaline, I can see him clearly.

He tries for my face so I ducked, aimed the back of his thigh and succeeded. He groans in pain but didn't stop, he grabbed my hair to which I yelped in pain.

"Fucker." I wrapped my legs around his arms, balancing myself there as I pry my hair away from his fucking hands. I'm dangling like a goddamn koala on a branch.

He unclenched it so I thought I did it, only to feel pain behind my back as he brought me down to the ground with much force.

I untangled myself from him and retreated, looking at him with anger. The thing with Derek, his size is an advantage in a fight. The disadvantage? He prides in it. His attacks are always high and mighty.

To beat him, you gotta be the lowly servant.

Without a second thought, I ducked, avoiding his swing, leaving everything in the open. The first thing I did is punch his throat upward, making him choke. As he does so, I got up and aimed for his balls, kicking it as hard as I can.

Thing about their armors is that only the chest are covered, their legs and arms. Aiming for these openings is child's work to me.

He growls in pain and looks at me. "What? No rules motherfucker."

He gets up and lunges for me, taking me down to the ground. He sits on my torso to hold me down, sending punches to my face to which I block with my arms.

I groaned in pain as he aims for my torso. He gets up and steps on my leg, I heard the crack before I felt it. Derek grabs my broken leg and lifts me up, only to throw me back down. I land with a loud thud that echoed around the arena.

"Give up."

I shook my head, looking at him in anger. "You just had to break my bones." He didn't respond and sent a kick towards my face.

"That all you got?" He punches me in the gut, earning a growl of pain from me. I fell once more but I was ready for it. His pride is the red target. He tried to break my arms but I freed myself from his hold by spinning around to reduce tension from his hold.

I knocked him off his feet, we're both on the ground now.

And for my final touch, I put everything in my punch as I aim for his face. His head lulls to the left til' he falls back, knocked out. From my peripheral vision, I see Titus move so I whipped my head to him, making sure they're not ganging up on me.

He hands me Derek's sword. So I refused.

I clicked my tongue in disdain.

Derek wakes up again a few seconds later. I can see from his eyes that he's glad I didn't kill him.

Oh I'm definitely going to kill him after this. Derek didn't bother to look at me but turned to Titus, bowing his head in submission.

Titus only nodded at him. He gets down and Titus goes up as I limp back down to my spot beside the women.

Medics are forbidden apparently.

Titus chose the woman with no armor on them too, making them vulnerable to attacks. Titus takes off his armor, his face smug.

He kills her in a matter of seconds, the woman didn't even get the chance to blink as Titus rips her to pieces, his sword clinging to his waist as if mocking us that he can do it with his bare fucking hands.

So this is who he is, Ezekiel Titus Vaughn, the Alpha King.

The Dark Alpha who believes in no gods or goddesses.

I inhale as he chooses another one, this time the woman is wearing armor. Still, Titus didn't looked fazed as this woman put up a fight. Titus was bare, fighting her and looking so bored like she's not doing anything to him.

She doesn't even get a scratch in as Titus decapitates her, the head rolling down the platform. I gulp in pain. Those woman only wanted to rule, yet got killed because of me.

Still, I don't know what I did.

Titus shakes his head in disappointment, looking at us one by one and stops at me. This son of a bitch didn't waste another second and pointed in front of my face, his eyes reflecting the depths of hell.

"You, get up here and fight me."

With a long inhale, I built up courage as I limped and climed up the stairs. I stand in front of him, a few spaces away, fearing for the moment he attacks.

That's right. I'm afraid. Watching him kill two people is a nightmare itself. It's a lot more scary when Titus has his sword pointed at you. I just know I won't get down without a fucking scratch.

Waiting for the countdown, Titus gets his armor and puts it on, a smirk on his lips.

"You broke my forbidden rule." He starts.

"What rule?" I question.

"You spoke of her." My eyes widened in response. How the hell did it get out?

"How did you find out?" He chuckles lowly. "Delila is a dear friend of mine. Thanks to you, she has gained her ability to speak, only to lose it again as I sliced her tongue lose for spouting such nonsense."

He lifts his sword and points to me. "Base on her parent's story, it was your doing."

I glared at him. "You hurt her? I wasn't harming anyone by asking a question. It wasn't even about her!"

"You lie." He growls.

And then the buzzer sounds, indication that it's to start.

Titus looks at me in resentment. "You deserve no mercy."

He pounces.