The Longing

Chapter 47

"An Emosh? What's an Emosh?" I asked Sen.

She sat in front of me while drinking her favorite cup of tea. Van was leaning on the wall beside the door.

"It's those little shits who can see right through you."

"Like an x-ray?" I hit Kris on the head.

"Ow!"

Kris was escorted here along with the others after I collapsed. Derek told me they tried for days on finding them but the mermaids kept a tight security which I'm thankful for.

He also said the only way they found me because Kris approached Derek while he was patrolling along the border with the few others. Which is weird considering she doesn't like to approach people nor talk to them.

"No. They read emotions through your eyes. But in order to be sure, they need to touch you. Even just a brush of your skin from them will have them know what you are currently feeling."

"Oh, yeah. I know an Emosh." I looked at Kris with wide eyes. "Since when did you meet an Emosh?"

"Uhm, are you counting the days? We've been here for so long, I ain't just gonna sit and watch you almost get killed in every game. I gotta know people, and people gotta know me."

I rolled my eyes at her. But I also can't help get touched that she's willing to talk to people and make an effort to help me.

There's nothing more interesting than an introvert going extravert. Gosh, I love my sister.

"His name is Demitri. He's the one who took the papers from you guys in the last game."

"The Butler?"

"Yeah, him. But he's not a butler though, he's actually one of the generals here."

Shit.

"How'd you meet him?" I asked.

"Well, I was looking for the bathroom, back at the ball, and badly needed to go, so I just grabbed someone close and asked where it was. Turns out, he's an Emosh and he quickly pointed where the bathroom was."

"So he felt what you needed and you just went after asking?" She nodded in response.

"Did you know?"

"Of course I didn't know it at first considering our different uh, history. But he explained it to me and I took a liking to him."

Sen nodded in understanding then turned to me to ask.

"That aside, where'd you hear about them? They like to hide themselves from the public. Never liked to come in contact with anyone unless we reach out to them."

I thought back about it. It was when I collapsed in front of the whole pack and the first time I saw Titus.

My ears picked up the word when I was coming to my senses back then. I always wondered what it was and why the doctor recommended one for me.

"It's nothing. Just heard it from somewhere." I fidgeted with my hands. "So, have you seen them do it yet?"

"Do what?" Sen asked.

"You know, the whole 'see right through you' thing."

She nodded in realization. "Yes, my brother and I. We only saw it once and we were children then. I am unable to recall much."

I bit my lip in contemplation. I need to know more about them. Doing so not only will put my mind at ease but I think I'll find something else once I get in contact with one.

My gut keeps telling me that meeting Demitri will contribute to my reason here, to why I'm in this pack, and still looking for my parents.

I miss them so much. I keep forgetting because of that fucking game.

An idea popped in my head. "Hey, Kris."

She turned her head to me, raising her eyebrows in question. "What?"

"Can you set up a meeting with Demitri? I need to talk to him about something."

She nodded.

"Good."

"Before that though, he requires payment for wanting his time."

I turned to Sen, shrugging. Van was already gone, he's probably cooking since it's almost dinner.

Turning back to Kris, I signaled for her to continue.

"Demitri's mode of payment is kinda weird to be honest. I never asked for it though."

A payment. This better not be money. I have nothing with me here, I ain't going in debt either.

"How much?"

Kris snorted, shaking her head. "It's not money that he wants, I heard he has tons of it."

"Well, what is it?"

She sighs, making my eyebrow raise in question.

"When you go talk to him, make sure you cry."

I snorted, relieved it wasn't something bad. "Anything else? My piss perhaps?"

She smacked me right at my injured arm. I hissed.

"No, it's not just any tears you need to shed."

"Spit it out, Kris. I need to talk to him as soon as possible."

She sighs once more.

"You need to cry, with blood."

"We cannot keep doing this."

I sigh as I look at Derek and Darren who sits a few feet in front of me.

"Titus, it is for the people." Darren spoke which I scoffed in response.

"Fuck the people, I doubt anyone gives a fuck about who they want as a leader."

"How can you say that, dude? This was your home." Derek was now the one speaking as he looks at me in confusion.

I nod. "Yes, exactly. Was. Past tense. The only reason I'm here is because I need to find a partner and pay respects to my family. I will tolerate nothing else of this matter."

"But-" I held up my palm, stopping Darren from speaking.

"Finish the games and let us leave this hellhole. I do not want anything else to remember this by but it's cruelty toward me."

"What do you mean cruelty? Do you forget? She's-"

"Stop what you will say before I rip your tongue out. No one speaks of her. No one."

"You do not stop me from speaking, you asshole. Cruel? You have lived here half your life and gave your vow to protect it. But then you go ahead and take down a pack and call it your home?" Derek is seething now, his eyes are angry.

"And don't throw that bullshit at me. You can fool anyone but me. She's literally the only reason you're here. Not to find a partner, especially not to pay respects to your parents but her. It's always been her."

Derek pointed a finger at me, a growl was building up inside me, I might explode in anger.

"Do not call me an-"

"Titus, it has been too long. Nothing has changed between you and the past. Your world still revolves around her." Darren cuts me off, making me pause.

"I ask that you stop."

"I refuse. Alpha or not, you're still our best friend. And as your best friend, it's my responsibility to tell you the truth. Damn it, I miss her too but it doesn't mean I need to hurt others because I feel like shit. You aren't the only one who lost her, she had me, Darren, Sen, Van..."

Has this little shit finally lost his mind? Derek being calm and playful is good but Derek as a menace?

I'd choke him to death if he wasn't family.

"Your point."

"My point is, stop trying to pretend you're fine.

Titus, you came back to this pack as I have because you care for it.

I do too. You came back because you wanted to see if it had changed for the better while we were away.

Hell, you had one of your Gammas pretend to take the Alpha position while you build a new empire somewhere! "

I paused. "How did you know?"

"What? About him taking over? I've known since you were beginning to build your home. And dumbass is walking around the pack like he owns it. Spoiler alert, he pretends he does because you said so." He mocked.

He pointed to his brother which owed an eye-roll from me. Of course. They tell each other everything.

"You two better stay out of my business while I'm still being nice."

"As if you could ever have us stay out of your business. I'm your Beta and Darren is one of your Gammas, remember?"

"We're here." Kris states.

After asking Van to get us a ride to where Demitri lives and an hour drive, we're now in front of it. It's a mansion that's probably two stories high and huge inside. Just looking at the front of the house, you can tell he's loaded.

Well I might sign myself up as a general if I can have a house like this, damn.

And before we even reached the door, we had to go through a long ass driveway. It was nice though, we get to see the lovely, taken care of, garden of his. It was all over the property and there was even gardeners around the area.

Kris pressed on the doorbell after telling us that we need to take off our shoes once we get inside and put them on the rack close to the door. I looked at Sen and shrugged, Van only shaking his head at us.

"Stop it, he doesn't like his carpet getting dirty."

"We didn't even say anything-"

The door suddenly opened and a middle aged lady with black hair greeted us with a warm smile. "Hello, everyone. Please do come in."

She was wearing one of those blue dress maid outfits that you'll find in movies. It is nice though, looks warm.

We all followed after her inside, making sure to take off our shoes once we went in.

"Does this general of yours earn a million a day or what?"

My eyes shone with awe.

Let me sign up for that general position.

Take the gold.

Shut up.

As I look at the displays surrounding the entrance and all the way to the end of the hallway, I can't help but look at them in envy. Why is this dude displaying literal statues made of gold, in his hallway, in this entrance?

If I were a theft, I'd get rich in a day.

"Katie, your mouth is open." Kris giggled playfully.

I rolled my eyes. "What's with the display of gold?"

The lady turned toward me and answered the question with a smile. "The general is not the one to particurally want to show it. It's his wife and daughter that keeps the statues of gold on display. They say it's to ward off the devil."

My eyebrows raised in question. "How would a gold ward off a devil, if the devil himself will bask in it?"

The lady shrugged, turning back around. What a weird tradition but who am I to judge.

As we exit the hallway, the lady led us to this huge room with double doors with intricate patterns on them, made us sit and asked what we would like to drink.

After that, she left and told us Demitri will be with us shortly.

"Van, how old are you?" Kris suddenly blurted out.

"Why are you asking?"

"To know if I could marry you."

I kicked her feet and glared at her. "Stop messing with Van, he's old enough to be your uncle."

"Good, I like 'em raw and old-" She hisses as I kick her harder. Sen only laughed at us while Van shook his head.

"Don't you have a boyfriend already?"

"Uh, no? I already told you I hate him and I don't wanna talk about him." Her mood suddenly went sour after she answered. Oops.

But while we're at this topic, might as well poke around. "You didn't tell me the reason though. All you said was that you wanted to break up with him and bury him six feet under. I didn't even get to meet the fucker."

I could've punched him for making my sister cry for months. She really loved the guy.

"Well, he told me it would only take him six months before he can come home again so I waited. He lied, then I saw him with a woman." My eyebrows raise.

"Kris."

"What?"

"You didn't ask him about who the woman was, did you?" She paused, then looked away in guilt.

"No, I uhm, couldn't. I got too jealous and angry and I wanted to end it all. I've always thought because of how long he was gone, how he lied and the timing on when I saw him with another woman, I just exploded and wanted to end what we had."

I shook my head.

Van leaned in, his arms on his thighs as he spoke, "Then why are you so pent up? You know it's your fault so own up to it. I get that he lied but who doesn't? Maybe it was something he needed to do and kept it a secret."

"Bullshit, Van. You men need to make up your mind and tell your spouses the truth whether it hurts or not. A woman who loves you will understand you." I rebated.

"You men will do anything but tell your women everything. If you're not ready to communicate, then you're not ready to be in a relationship." Sen says, smacking Van on his shoulder.

"You two women need to stop ganging up on me. I just said that to provide another side of the argument. Which, you guys refuse to acknowledge, by the way."

I roll my eyes. "No one's refusing to acknowledge anything. Don't blame women just because they decided to confront you about it. Would you sit around and wait knowing something was up? What if he didn't plan to tell her at all? What if it was true? What would you do then?"

"But maybe it's not." He shrugged.

Now he's starting to piss me off.

"Could you imagine what Kris went through when she saw him with a woman after lying and not contacting her? Wouldn't you be mad if it happened to you, your mate lying to you and then talking to another man, hm?" Sen argued, her right eyebrow raised in demand.

"No, I would've ripped the guy's head if he talked to my mate."

I roll my eyes. "Stop talking before I rip yours."

Our argument comes to a stop when the doors open, brown hair emerging from it as Demitri finally enters along with the drinks the lady told us she would deliver.

"I apologize for the delay. My wife was in need of my time and so I provided her with it." Demitri walks behind the desk and sits on the chair after putting down the tray, facing us with a warm smile.

"Getting nasty up there, huh?" Kris who was quiet finally giggles, earning a kick from me. She just glares at me and fakes a smile at Demitri.

Demitri chuckles and shakes his head in amusement. "No, Kris. She wanted me to organize her books because she needed to finish her own. So, what can I do for you?"

"My sister here would like your services. She said she needs to find something. But in order for her to do that, she must meet you."

He nods, signaling for the door to be locked and for the lady to go out first.

The lights go off, the only thing that gives us visibility is the ray from the sunlight, which fortunately, the window provided as it didn't get covered.

"Close your eyes, Katie. And put your hands on the desk in front of you."

"I thought you guys read emotions through our eyes, why should I close mine?"

"This way is much stronger than looking at one's eyes."

Though I still don't trust him, I listened and closed my eyes.

"I want you to tell me what you want." A little gasp came out of me as I felt rough hands touch mine.

"Wh-what are you doing?" He's fucking cold as ice. I didn't even hear him get up and get close.

Are all Emosh like him?

I hear a chuckle coming from my left. "I assure you that all of us feel cold at first. Once we find it, you'll feel it getting warmer."

"It? What's it?"

"Your emotion."

"So what, you guys have to pry into our minds first?" I snorted, I'm kinda feeling weird even though that was a good joke.

Yeah right.

Demitri clears his throat. "No, we do not get into people's minds.

That is a power beyond a mortal's control.

What we do is called collective-connection, where we collect the person's past emotions and connect it to their current situation and predict what they are feeling.

In that way, we now know what that person needs. "

I wanted to open my eyes and look at him but I held back, thinking it'll ruin his rituals or something.

Kris chuckles, "You would definitely be a renowned psychologist in our community. Predicting and whatnot."

"Psychologists study the human behavior. Why they act that way and what are the external factors of it. We Emoshes do not study anything, we just feel it and we know it." Demitri says, his hands getting warmer as time goes by.

"Demitri, what is it? I can feel it getting warmer."

"That is nothing. I am still trying to connect with you. It's my first time struggling with it."

"But why?"

"This will not work if I do not emotionally merge with you. It must be done for me to understand the reason."

I bobbed my head even though I can't tell if he can see me or he also has his eyes closed.

"You mentioned it's your first time struggling. Just how many people have come to you and why are you struggling just now?" Kris asks.

"Your sister built a wall around her. It is hard for me to see it if there is a force stopping me. I must climb that wall or go through it." He answers.

Minutes go by, Demitri's hand stays the same temperature. I bit my lip in anxiousness, I hate people touching me for too long.

And as if Demitri knows it, he lets go of me and asks me to open my eyes. "So?"

He turns, going back to his seat. He just shakes his head. "I'm afraid I am unable to provide you with the emotion you seek."

I frown. "You must've had something, even a little something."

"Apologies, I only felt your anger and your resentment. To whom, I cannot answer that as the answer lies with you."

This is getting a whole lot complicated. "It's probably those people who took our parents." I shrugged.

Demitri shakes his head once more, disagreeing with me completely.

"Katie, this resentment is not covered in black."

"The fuck does that mean? You can see colors in emotions now?"

He nods. "I always have. This one is no vile thing. It's.."

He frowns and looks away hesitantly as we wait for his statement. What's he thinking? Why the sudden stop? What does he refuse to say to us?

"No, it's impossible..." He murmurs to himself but I heard it.

"What's impossible?" I slowly got up, my whole body facing him as he still looked baffled at his findings.

"Demitri."

"It's a resentment that's mixed of love and hate. It is rare that I do not know what to connect it to unless I pry into your past. Which is hard because of your barrier."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't had any training about guarding my mind. Hell, this is my first time finding out about it."

"Katie, you must go."

Demitri finally looks at me, his eyes no longer a shade of dark brown as it glows. I knew it. Those blue eyes were the ones I saw back then. And so I couldn't help myself and ask, "What were you doing there that night?"

I can feel everyone's eyes on me but I focused on Demitri. I can see the confusion in his eyes as he asks,

"I apologize as I am quite confused on what you are portraying to. What night?"

The door opens and comes in a lady dressed in fine clothes holding a book. Her long curly ginger hair flows freely behind her.

"My love, to what do we owe this pleasure?"

Demitri stands and meets his wife halfway. "Oh, don't be silly. I wanted to welcome the guests as the lady of this house. Go on, sit down and don't mind me."

She finally looks at us and smiles. "Hello everyone. I am Diana, Demitri's wife."

We all shook her hand as she approached us one by one.

She shakes my hand lasts and makes eye contact with me. Her smile grew as she spoke. "Ah. You must be Katie. I heard a lot of stories about you from the people."

My face contorted in confusion.

"Stories? About me? Do tell."

"Well, we can have that conversation after you finish business with my husband. I shall wait."

The lady—Diana, sits at the farther end, the chair at the corner with the little table beside it.

We all took our seats and turned back to the front, a plus person with us now. I was still looking at Diana, noting the amount of attention she gives to the book she's currently holding.

A cup was placed beside her, on the table. She didn't look up as she turns the page. The lady then again places sweets on the table beside Diana, but she doesn't acknowledge it and instead, takes the cup that was currently placed and took a sip then puts it back down.

It's as if she's here but not really. She knows the changes in her surroundings but it's like she doesn't care. She's here psychically, but it's another thing for her mind. It feels like she's in a different world, a world of her own creation.

Demitri sits back down and speaks to me again, gaining my attention as I look away from Diana. "I apologize, my wife likes her space more than anything. But I must ask again Katie, what night are you referring to?"

"The night where we first arrived at our Aunt's house. I looked out the window and got spooked from this creepy blue eyes which can be seen even in the dark. It's you, isn't it? I can tell once I made eye contact with you back at the competition."

I wait, but he still looks at me in confusion. This is actually making me doubt myself. "And if I may, when did you first arrive at your Aunt's?"

"It's been so long but it was before we came to this pack and before the games happened."

He paused as if he's searching for something in that brain of his. "Before the games happened."

I nodded in response.

"Dear, where is our daughter?" He suddenly diverts his eyes to his wife, whose response is to point upwards.

Demitri looks back at me as recognition flashes in his eyes and says, "Let me summon my daughter."

"Why?"

"My wife and I had planned to attend the ball for the start of the games and so we did."

This caused confusion from all of us. Sen asking Van what he meant, only for Van to shrug. Kris was definitely paying attention as her eyebrows are furrowed.

Demitri calls for the lady who comes quickly, having her fetch their daughter from upstairs. The lady bowed and went out, closing the double doors behind her.

"We had told our daughter not to wonder too far, heeding her of the dangers beyond the lines. And it seems to me that she had failed to obey it."

"We had asked her to behave and to stay out of trouble." Demitri sighs in disbelief. "It looks like trouble has found her."

I face Demitri as he spoke, not getting anything. "What does that mean?"

"It means you didn't saw Demitri out there, Katie. It was someone else."

I turn to Kris. "Demitri only has blue eyes if he reads emotions just like what he did to you. Once it's over, his eyes turn back to their original color. Did you feel anything that night?"

I shook my head. "No, only got spooked the fuck out."

"Whoever you saw that night probably tried to read you but they couldn't."

Realization dawned upon me. If they tried to read me, they knew my identity. And if they didn't, why would they attempt to do such a thing to a random person? Isn't that abuse of power of some shit?

"You're saying someone knew who I was and tried to fucking read me? And I wouldn't even fucking know it."

Shit, if I was that easy to be manipulated I should definitely fucking find a way to harden this wall of mine. I don't care if it's already or what.

Knowing about it will be to my advantage someday. I just have to learn to control it.

The door finally opens, snapping me out of my thoughts, the lady having someone in tow.

Demitri stands and smiles. "Ah, my dear."

The door closes behind them as Demitri reaches them, hugging the girl. He finally lets go and I got a good look of her.

Her brown hair was tied up in a bun, her clothes just like her mother's, only difference in colors. Her heels clicked as she walks closer to us.

Her eyes shocked me the most. It was the bluest eyes I have ever seen. Those golden brown swirling around her irises.

"You."

She looks at me and as if she's been shot, she wobbles back, her eyes widened in disbelief.

"Lyn." She breathes. I tilted my head in confusion. A bang can be heard somewhere but I couldn't seem to look into it.

Ugh, wasting my time. First, I misunderstood who it was I saw and now they call me someone else's name. I'm getting answers and I'm getting the fuck out of here.

"Lady, whoever you are. What were you doing at our property before the games?" I pointed at her accusingly.

She swallows, having a hard time to speak.

"Well? I don't have all day?"

"Katie, my daughter is-" Demitri was about to say something, only to be cut off by the sound of the girl's voice.

"Be-because I f-felt her."

Her.

Always her.

Fuck it.

"All right, I'm out. It's her again and she's taboo and gone, right? I'm getting the fuck out of here so thank you for wasting my time." I smile bitterly at Demitri.

"Delila, did you just..." Diana has dropped the book she has been holding since the beginning, her eyes full of bewilderment.

Oh so that's what that bang was.

Delila nods to her mother, looking back at me. Her eyes shone with tears as if she's relieved.

"What? Why are you crying?" Great.

I cringe at myself. What did I do now?

Kris hits me on my shoulder. "Let her speak."

"I didn't even tell her not to." I roll my eyes, hitting her back.

Demitri puts his hand on my shoulder, as he too, looks at his daughter in awe.

"Katie, this is the first time Delila has spoken after..."

Delila cuts him off.

She holds my arms tightly, as if she's afraid of letting go. Her face gets close to me as I look at her widened eyes in horror.

"I felt you." And then she cries.

In blood.