The Longing

Chapter 52

Bro idk what happened but I suddenly had the urge to finish this chapter and continue the next one even tho its not time yet. OH WELL.

"No." Titus' answer was immediate.

Asshole.

"I can do it, let me help. I have my squad with me." I say a bit more strongly, I don't like being rejected and I sure as hell don't like missing the action.

"As I have stated-" He gets cut off when Kaden clears his throat, gaining the attention of us both.

We turn to him when he says, "It's a good idea, Sire. Not only can they provide aid, they can also learn from us and help the others train. It's a win-win situation."

"It's too dangerous. She's-"

"I'm well aware of who she is, Sire. No offense but we can smell you all over her. If that's not an indication, then I don't know what is." Kaden grunts, a little annoyed. I chuckle internally, I like him already.

Kaden can smell him all over me probably because Titus was beside me all morning til' right now. Their noses are still amazing though.

What happens next shocked me to the core. Titus growls so loud, it shook the floor and the table in front of us. I manage to hold on to my chair, fear of losing balance.

It stops when Titus speaks with much disdain. "Do not cut me off. You're stupid if you think I'll have her patrol that side of the border. You know damn well how risky it is."

He leans back on his chair, a deep, angry emotion behind his eyes as he continues to push away the idea of me and my squad helping.

Something close to anger fuels my mouth to open and talk. "Stop conversing as if I'm not here."

They both turn their heads toward me, startled. "I'm doing it with or without your overbearing approval, Titus."

"No."

I roll my eyes in response. Ignoring him, I focus on General Kaden to initiate a conversation.

Me? Initiate first?

"General, have your men ready for the coming of my squad. We'll be there to help and support you til' you guys are ready again."

Appreciation flickers in his eyes, his head nodding as he takes in my words.

"Do it without my consent and I will bury you to the ground with my bare hands, Kaden."

Titus hits the table with an open palm, the loud sound startled me that I jumped slightly off my chair.

If Kaden shifted into a wolf right now, his ears would be down. The man was affected by Titus' command, refusing to lift his head.

"Stop it. Let him go." I turn to Titus, who was glaring at Kaden with a snarl. I can feel power ooze off of him towards Kaden.

"Titus, I'll snap your neck if I have to. Let. Him. Go."

The anger on my words were evident. Titus snapped out of it though, cutting his stare from Kaden to me. I heard Kaden's intake of breath, and the relief release of it.

"If you're gonna power trip then this conversation is gonna end and we'll start talking with our fist."

I leveled his gaze, dark gray eyes shining with vigor as I stare back in defiance. He knows how well I can hold myself against him.

"Watch how you speak to me." He growls, his eyes turning black.

I reared back, shocked not because the sudden change in his eyes, but because of the sound and the power it held. He's serious, he doesn't trust me.

I'm a bit...hurt.

But it wasn't enough to break down my walls, I've handled people like him back in camp. And I manage to overpower all of them. I don't back down from fights especially if that opportunity is a man.

Without breaking eye contact, I spoke with distaste. "I will speak however I want. Give the man what he wants or fight me to the death."

That doesn't shake him up. He leans back to his chair, not acknowledging my threat. He turns to Kaden and speaks, his eyes no longer dark but gray. "This is what's best for everyone. I will send more warriors tomorrow morning, she will not come to your aid or anyone else's."

Fuck, I really need to help them or Kaden's gonna lose more men by the time Titus sends new ones. It's crazy enough that I want to go where danger is but it's even crazier that I want the action more.

I had enough of this. But before I can speak, Kaden speaks with so much respect, even Titus stops for a moment.

"Alpha, no harm shall come to her. I can protect her, Sire. She fought you and survived, none of us can do that. She's stronger than most of us combined, even if she's human."

Kaden pleads, and if one were to listen closely, you can hear the desperation and tiredness behind his tone.

"No."

I sighed. If I can't convince Titus, I don't know what can. The man's a walking wall, and his decision is made without any hesitations, no considerations.

I stand up, not able to handle the situation anymore. I need to find a better way to help Kaden and his warriors, otherwise consequences will arise.

"Where are you going?" Titus asks from behind me. I stopped at the almost opened door, my hand resting on the handle.

I didn't turn around but I did answer his question.

"Away from you."

"M'lady-" I don't care to wait for what he had to say. I'm just gonna have to do things my way.

I slammed the door shut once I got out. Maybe that'll shake things up. I want to break someone's bones right now.

Titus will do.

I don't know how I've managed to hold back my anger but I manage to put a neutral face after coming back to the table. No one questioned anything even though I was gone for long.

A few minutes later, both Kaden and Titus emerged from the closed doors, catching my attention.

Titus sits down with a deep frown, his eyes unfocused as he begins to eat what is left on his plate. Kaden's eyes find mine then he bows, satisfaction flowing from him in waves.

Realization hit me like a brick. He walks out after saying a few words to the other generals seated at the other tables.

I look back at Titus, holding back my smugness. He catches my eyes when the door finally closes behind Kaden.

He shakes his head in annoyance. I smirked, relieved that Kaden managed to convince him that I could help.

Titus - 0

Katie - 1

I manage to down a lot of food because it was too good to pass up. I went back for more on the chicken and pasta.

It was noon by the time we finished eating. People volunteered to clean the table and wash the dishes, which I took no part in.

I pulled Derek to the side when everyone was piling out, needing to ask for my phone.

"Call Smith, tell her to prepare the squad." Derek groans, tilting his head up at the ceiling.

I roll my eyes at his childishness. "Shut the fuck up and do it, Lieutenant Black."

He straightens up, his eyes levels with mine as he finally takes in my seriousness. He nods and pulls out his phone from his pocket.

He clicks on a button and it rings. We didn't have to wait long because Kali picks up after three rings.

"Lieutenant." Comes from the device.

"Smith, prepare the squad or how many remains and come to the coordinates I shall provide. Take no one else." Derek replied, his tone dripping with authority.

I heard a brief 'yes' before Derek ends the call. I nodded at him and patted his shoulder as a thanks.

I dismiss him, Derek immediately bringing his goofy smile back and saluting me playfully. I chuckle at his antics and turned around.

Time for some action.

It didn't take long for Smith and the others to arrive, only lasting a few hours more than us because Smith is bad at coordinates.

Literally and figuratively. She failed geometry in class and barely passed the college examination for geography.

We gave them time to rest and to get a tour with the area, I asked Kaden to help which he agreed to without complaint.

My first rule for my platoon is to always familiarize yourself with the place. Don't ever enter a zone where you don't have the blueprints to, especially if it's a very important one.

If you get lost, no one's gonna come and find you because you were stupid enough not to look at the resources provided for free.

I always tell them to embrace every opportunity whether it be free or not, obtained easily or not. Information is information and only a fool would pass it up.

I also asked Kaden to meet me at the war room after assigning my squad to their respective rooms, giving them time to unpack and organize, we sure as hell staying more than a day.

I was talking to Derek and Kris when everyone piles in, along with Kaden and his men. They took their seats, some were standing since there weren't enough.

I, however, stood in the front of it all, a map and board behind me. "Is this everyone?" My eyes roamed around the room, taking in their faces.

Smith was seated at the other end of the table, her face void of emotion as she presents herself professionally.

Derek was standing beside me, his hands behind his back. His face neutral and stoic, any trace of childishness gone.

Kaden stands in the middle part, the seats occupied with other people. "Why don't you take a seat, General?" Comes from a woman with blonde hair.

He shook his head, declining the chair and pushes her back down. "Sit down, warrior."

The girl blushes in embarrassment, clearly appreciating that she can attend comfortably. I nodded after making sure everyone is present.

Except for Titus.

There were a lot more standing than sitting down, the number of chairs were made for important people so it's a bit on the less side but it's fine.

I cleared my throat, the chatter dies down as everyone finally looks at me. "We have two goals; patrol and train. General Kaden was kind enough to allow us to train with his men for your own good, and in exchange, we patrol the border farther south."

A few murmurs erupted from them, some were angry whispers even.

"South?"

"Where the lone wolves are?"

"Why there?"

"It's not worth it!" Someone exclaimed.

And a few negative comments, all from the wolves, which had me sigh tiredly. I'm guessing they haven't been stationed there yet and this is their first time hearing about it.

Some of the otherd growled too, the only thing holding them back was Kaden's glare.

What I didn't expect was Derek stepping up.

"Listen to what she has to say or you won't see tomorrow." He snarls, his eyes darkening.

Everyone sat completely still, the chatter gone. He steps back and goes back to position. My eyebrows raised in amusement, he's useful after all.

I turn back, my face losing its playfulness as my words drip with seriousness.

"You think I called you here for a birthday party? Spoiler; I didn't."

I used my military voice. It trickled of power and arrogance, perfect. I can feel everyone's eyes on me, the whole room's attention as I speak.

"I brought my men here to assist you on your rotations and we will. You take my orders and execute it, no questions asked."

No one objects, my cue to continue. "General Kaden here needs our help and we will provide it. If you have any problem with that, get up and leave. I don't care for your opinions, not when lives are on the line."

No one does, staying in their seats. I hummed, sometimes you gotta talk shit to people to make them understand the weight of the situation.

"This map behind me is the pack borders, the black one for Valian Solace."

I turned around and faced the map. "The other lines, you already know who they belong to. I debriefed you on it back in Mystic Heart."

I was referring to my soldiers, who's more attentive than the wolves as they study the map.

Derek speaks. "Now if you forgot, let me refresh it by hitting you in the face."

I took a breath, glaring at him. I know he was serious about hitting them. But luckily, no one raised their hands or voiced their thoughts if they did forget.

Derek crossed his arms and stepped back, still keeping an eye on everyone around.

"We go farther south, and close to the Codicia pack. Those who remain behind can train with the other wolves and make sure you do train."

"Next up, those who's gonna patrol needs to know the basics, the rotations and the people you're gonna be with to avoid any casualties like killing them accidentally."

A wolf raised their hand, "M'lady, I would like to say that before they patrol, they need to train first."

"Is that not what I just said? Were you listening?" He clears his throat, a small red color coming from his cheeks.

"I meant, everyone needs to train before officially patrolling, undergo General's training and then take watch."

My right eyebrow rises in confusion. "Why is that?"

"With all due respect, we're not facing any regular wolves."

I glared at him, "I know that. Are you implying my soldiers don't have what it takes to assist you?"

"N-no, M'lady."

"Speak up, pup." Kaden says.

"It's for their safety and ours. We need to make sure they are smart and knowledgeable enough to help. We can't let them patrol just because they're present."

"We thank you for your help, really. But it'll be nothing if your soldiers are stupid and blind." His words earned a mocking laugh from the other wolves.

I get his point, I really do. Safety above everything else, but when he says his sentences like that I get really pissed off. Just say it to me straight instead of insinuating that my people aren't strong enough.

I slammed my hands on the table, having the urge to stop his mouth from moving. He's lucky he wasn't close enough for me to smack him.

"Do not insult me and my men. We're human, yes, but that didn't stop us from killing werewolves and shapeshifters." I snap, irritated at the audacity to say that while I'm standing right here.

"What's your point? You think we don't know what we're up against? My men are prepared and know the risks, even death. They made a vow and they will fulfill it. I have heard no complaints from them but from your own kind. That tells me a lot about you, don't you think?"

"You scared they gonna outdo you?" It was Kaden who said it, his brows raised in question.

The wolf remained quiet, nothing else to say. "Now if no one else is going to give useless advices, let's finish this meeting."

I turned my attention back to them, "I need volunteers on who's gonna patrol first then rotate with the others for the night shift, and I need it now."

"Am I understood, soldiers?" Raising my voice, my squad straightened up in alarm.

They replied with a quick yes and stood up, body squared and their eyes on me. They raised their right hand and saluted.

"Good. Before you leave, talk on who's taking which shift and meet me outside. Those who'll stay can go straight to Kaden, he's gonna take care of you."

I pointed at the big man in the room, his head nodding toward me in acknowledgment.

I dismiss everyone after organizing the people with me and those who'll stay. Luckily, that wolf who can't keep his mouth shut isn't on duty tonight, I can rest easy for a little while.

It didn't take long for them to find me as we walk to the southern part of the pack. Soldiers are trained to prepare themselves in any possible situation, that includes me.

I ruled over a patriarchal system, I'm not weak. Nor is my squad. They're trained by me after all.

"M'lady, do we need to follow other orders or strictly obey yours?" Someone spoke from behind me.

I turned to them as we stop. It was the young woman with blonde hair. "You listen to both me and Kaden then we'll get along just fine."

There were a few wolves with us, Kaden said they were one of the strongest ones out there, almost as strong as him. He took the weak ones and commanded that they get more practice.

I was jut thankful I don't have to babysit anyone. I don't have the energy for it and I certainly can't pay attention to them when I'm patrolling.

My squad was organized behind me in two lines, lined up with my left and right shoulders. Their arms around their guns while their eyes move side to side.

We've trained more than other branches in the military, more than the other squadrons and won lots of medals and battle to get where we are right now. I was just glad they weren't affected with what that half-wit said.

We managed to reach the edge of the pack in records time, the wolves' shortcut helped with that.

"Gather around, come on." I assigned everyone to a rotation, making sure there's more than one person per side.

So that when emergencies happen, the available person can notify us of the situation. I could've done three per side but I'm gonna run out of options to cover the other sides. Two will do for now.

"Don't be afraid to do what you think is right, it all comes down to whatever you decide and it's very important that you do it."

It wasn't a threat but reassurance. I don't care how they rotate or who takes first watch tonight, what's important to me is if they're ever faced with difficulties, they should know how to handle it.

I dismissed them, watch their backs disappear ever so slowly as the dark eats their silhouettes, disappearing into the night.

I turned back to the map, double checking if I've missed something, doesn't hurt to make sure.

"Let's go, Cap." I lift my head and Derek appears, his head nodding towards our side of the rotation.

I followed after him as we walk through the night, the wind blowing hard that it actually moved my ponytailed hair.

It was a good thing I was wearing long sleeves, otherwise I wouldn't last more than five hours outside. Derek and the others have no problem with it though, they have their own hearth inside their bodies keeping them warm.

We reached our destination not a moment later. To be honest, I'm kinda disappointed I see nothing but trees and darkness.

No enemy in sight, but that doesn't mean there won't be one soon. I'm sure someone's gonna give me some action tonight.

I'll bathe in their blood. Cue the evil laugh. "You know, I can see the bloodbath behind your eyes and, you're smiling for no reason."

I rolled my eyes, "Let the girl have her fun, Derek."

"Suit yourself, take first watch then." This little shit. He took off somewhere after saying that, leaving me alone.

"I'll take a good stroll, loser." I can feel him roll his eyes. He also told me not to advance anymore since I'm near the edge. I told him to be back once he does his thing and he only nodded.

By now you'd think he'd show me a little respect after saving him from the military, but no, he just likes to piss me off more. I took a deep breath, setting my gun on a trunk.

Something about the cold wind, the barely seen terrain and the smell of the forest makes my heart ache. I'm always around people and buildings, it's refreshing to be connected to nature or witness it with your own eyes.

I've always been a green kid, I remember when our Aunt had this huge glass garden behind her house, but it was struck down by lightning. I use to always go there and feel the rough patch of dirt on my hands, looking up at the clear blue sky and smelling the growing vegetables.

It was a good memory; one I cherish not only because of what it made me feel, but because I was alone and had everything else on pause.

A shuffle made my head turn to my right, my senses activating and heightening themselves. Derek is around somewhere but definitely not in front of me, I'm closer to the edge more than I thought.

Another sound came from my left, I grabbed my gun and strapped it to me. I turned the safety off and put my finger on the trigger.

It's definitely not Derek. A piercing growl broke through the air, my ears picking up a set of footprints and panting breaths.

A dark silhouette emerged from the shadows, its ears perked up in alarm.

Shit, it's a shifted werewolf.

And it's alone.

I raised my gun and pointed the barrel at the lone wolf, pulling the trigger once I catch it on its full appearance. It suddenly leaped away, my bullets grazing his legs as he hides himself beyond the trees.

Fuck.

I turned my head to my left, another sound coming from there. I aimed and waited, not wanting to shoot Derek if it was his idiot self.

The grass shuffled, paws hitting the ground. It was the wolf again, his fangs are out as he sends me a threatening growl, the sound echoing through the forest. I didn't hesitate to fire.

Anxiety gripped me as the wolf hid itself again, but there was already blood trickling down on the dirt.

I hit it.

My celebration was cut short when I stumble to the ground, the dirt hitting my face as I kept rolling.

I hit a trunk and groaned out loud, the impact knocking the air out of my lungs. I gasped when pain finally registers in my front and the ache on my legs.

My gun got detached from my torso, the strap broke because of the friction I made when I landed. It was a few feet away from me now. Something pushed me off, so heavy that it managed to propel me far away.

It's not alone.

My eyes caught the new wolf running towards me, it's dark fur swaying with the wind. I hesitated which costs me a lot more than I expected.

The wolf bit my left arm, dragging me away from the tree. The bite tore through my skin, blood gushing out.

I screamed in agony, unable to hold it. I tried to reach for my gun when we passed it but it dragged me faster and bit me harder.

Shit, they should really stop aiming for the same spot and let my bones heal.

My throat constricted, my breath getting faster with the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I kicked the wolf on its front shin, earning a growl.

He kept dragging me still, towards the edge of the border. My eyes widened in realization, it's trying to take me out the pack lines.

With new found strength, I grabbed the knife strapped to my waist. I grabbed the hilt tightly and stabbed it.

It releases my arm, the absence pressure of the teeth made the pain unbearably painful. I clutched it with my right hand and crawled away. The knife on its eye should buy me time.

I can hear the whine and whimpering from the wolf, it was pathetic. I grabbed my gun and aimed at the wolf, open fired when the barrel lines up with it.

I kept firing, my injured arm getting tired pulling the trigger. But I didn't let it take over me, I want that dog dead.

It slumps to the ground, its chest barely moving up and down. I kept my eyes on it, won't be long before it dies with all the bullet holes on it.

I felt it before I saw it. The wolf with the brown fur comes rushing down, clawed my back, my clothes tearing apart as it slashes through til' the skin.

I let out a silent scream, unable to breathe properly. I fell forward, then to my side. My back was torn open, my clothes shredded by the lone wolf. Bits of pieces cling to my bloodied body.

The wolf let out an agonizing howl, its nuzzle raised up in the air.

It's pissed.

I kept it within my sights, my hands slowly moving to my sides as I try to find my remaining weapons.

It's a good idea that I carried it with me.

I took it out fast, hiding my hands from prying eyes by leaning on it. I waited, its howl and my breathing overcoming my senses.

It's definitely cold now. I can feel my own blood drip from behind me. If I lose too much I'm gonna pass out and it's a scenario I wouldn't want.

The moving of paws snapped me out of it, the lone wolf finally looking at me like I'm prey. The steps were calculated, slow and deliberate.

It's trying to play with me before it kills me. I grip the knife tighter, waiting for the right opportunity to come. And when it does, I'm killing it.

It stops just a few feet behind me, its ominous green eyes on my back, letting out a snarl.

Then it leaped, I dodged its landing by rolling over, putting pressure on my back. I bit back a cry and managed to get on my feet.

I stumbled but straightened up, hiding my injured arm behind me as my right hand holds the knife up. The wolf turns around, shocked I could still move.

It sends out a roar and charges towards me, I meet it halfway. I ducked, the dog barely missing my hair. With all what's left, I lift my knife and stabbed it in the guts, the sudden break of the surface lets out a thick blood, smearing all over me, taking my knife with it.

It fails to catch itself before it lands, its head slammed in the dirt first then follows the rest of it. It whined, my ears rang from feedback.

Fuck, it caught my ear. I was high on adrenaline that I didn't even notice it. I looked at the wolf and glared at its claws, some blood—my blood, found on it.

I hissed in pain, moving with determination. I squeezed its wound by stepping on it. It tried to bite me but was too weak to reach where I was.

"That's what it took you down? One stab while you almost tore my fucking back." I pulled my knife out harshly, entertained by the pain it caused him.

One last huge sigh and it's gone.

I took a deep breath and lost my balance, plopping to the dirty ground. I heaved in torment, the feeling of my back torn and my bitten arm overwhelming me.

I jumped in alarm as another growl echoed around me. I didn't waste time and got up, gathering all energy left in me and ran.

Farther into the woods, not sure if I'm going back or going away. It didn't matter; I wasn't about to die now.

I ran and ran. I didn't stop until I reached a cliff, I could hear water running down somewhere, it was too dark to actually see anything.

I turned my head behind me, I can still defend myself if I have to or die trying. But I'm definitely taking that little shit with me.

I realized too late that I'm unarmed, and the noise of growls and struts are coming close.

Fuck, I left my gun behind. How could I fucking leave it behind at a time like this. I'm practically attached to firearms.

I want to kill myself.

Three big wolves emerged from behind the trees, jumping up the rocks and landing on their feet. Their growls rippled across the area.

Correction, little three shits.

I weighed my options. If I defend myself, it's either they're all going to attack me or it's a possibility that they'll watch the other and take turns.

If I retreat, I'm gonna die down there. The possibility of surviving is slim to none.

Unarmed and injured. A deep cliff behind me and three angry wolves in front of me. Whatever choice I make, I will die.

But then all three wolves rushed towards me, their eyes locked on me. Their speed was faster than the last two.

I didn't hesitate to jump.

Alone, my ass.