The Longing

Chapter 54

I woke up with a headache.

I groaned and got up, my eyes blurry but tried observing my surroundings. The familiar white fur below the bed I'm on, the blue walls all around me. I was back at the pack house, in my room.

I check the clock, 9:11. I've been under since last night. I stretched my limbs and went to the bathroom.

Taking off my clothes, I try to recall what happened. We were on patrol, me and Katie along with the others.

I got in the shower and turned it on, no need for a heater since my body's on fire since yesterday. My wolf is beyond anxious and angry, adding it to the mix.

I was dumb enough to go back take a piss somewhere far away, bothered that someone will see me. I should've fucking stayed.

Due to my carelessness and lack of rationality, I've lost Katie and I have no clue where she is. My sister's gone and I'm standing here in the shower, washing away my sorrows.

I can remember what happened clearly. Sedating me doesn't erase my memories from before nor does it mean that yesterday didn't happen.

I called everyone to the war room.

The generals, the gammas, everyone. Kaden was to lead everyone beside me. I sent everyone to every corner of the border, no side unchecked. I'm gonna do this on my own if Titus refuses to show up, even after she's gone.

On the back of my mind, there's a faint sound that keeps scratching my head. My wolf growls in anticipation, waiting for his turn of the light.

I'll give it to him when it's time to rip the enemies to shreds. Tear their limbs from their flesh and have him eat it to his heart's content.

An addition to his bone collection.

For now, I need to be moral and neutral, which my wolf is not.

"Beta, we received a message from the Alpha." My head perked up, eyebrows raised in confusion but tried to focus on the connection with Titus.

"Titus." I started.

"Derek." Came his sonorous voice.

"That's it? Don't Derek me, where the fuck are you? Katie's missing and you're not here to even help search the whole goddamn forest." My tone was neutral but my emotion was not.

"Calm down."

I pause, processing his words. I've been asleep since yesterday, I haven't even gotten a glimpse of Katie before she disappeared. And now he's telling me to calm down despite all that has happened.

I don't think I can stay rational and moral if I talk to people like him again.

"Don't tell me to calm down." I growled into the pack link, making him feel the anger and frustration in my tone.

"Calm. Down. Listen to what I have to say."

The primal part of me wants to rip him to shreds for using his authoritative tone on me and control my tempartment. But I obeyed and kept quiet. The duel will happen when time is due.

I will make sure to win.

"Katie is with me. I managed to pull her out of the ocean when I was hunting for lone wolves by myself. I heard the impact from a mile away because I was tracking."

Somehow, my shoulders finally dropped. Relief flooding my veins as my fight dies down.

"Is she okay?" I ask softly.

"She's fine, she just needs to rest. I need to stay in my cottage for a few weeks with her and make sure her wounds heal properly. And no, don't send the pack doctor. We don't want to risk exposure."

He cuts off what I was about to say on sending a doctor like he read my mind.

But I'm glad they're both safe, and that they're together. What's important right now is that she recovers and comes back in one piece.

"Okay. When you come back, let me know in advance. I'll come."

"There's no need-" I cut him off like he's not an Alpha, but what matters to me is their safety above all else. Power dynamics will come later.

"I will come." My tone was final and he understood it. He never spoke in the link again after that and so did I.

Instead, I changed my tactics. I told everyone to rotate their shifts on the north side of the border, focusing on a few miles away from the cottage but still near in case of emergencies.

Lone wolves will not risk going there if it's heavily patrolled. They're stupid but not that stupid. Worst case scenario, they die by my hands and my men, no questions asked and no mercy given.

They hurt her, they shall pay with their blood.

I slept throughout the day.

I can't remember the time I enjoyed sleep to be honest. I just saw it as a way to restore my energy and for my mind to rest so it could function properly.

I don't remember experiencing good dreams, nor nightmares. It was always nothing then I just wake up.

That witch is a different story though, she manages to slip into my unconscious inappropriately.

Now that I think about it, I didn't have dreams up until I got here.

Titus changed my bandages after I took a shower, which, was hard as fuck because of my wounds. He made sure that his stare was always on the areas that he needs to wrap.

I appreciate it because one, I do not like anyone to see my body, let alone when I'm wearing almost nothing.

The scars may be ugly for them, but it was a success to me. I just don't like their opinions in my ear all the time so I avoid it at all cost.

He didn't question anything anyways.

Second, I don't like being stared at or touched.

He also cooked me breakfast, it was bacon and eggs paired with a two pieces of bread on the side. I ate with no complaints. I for one, do not decline good food.

"When are we gonna go back?" I said once I've finished my plate.

"When you heal."

Titus was reading a book, surprisingly. He's sat right across from me. There's a glass of water beside him and a bunch of fruit that he snacks on from time to time.

"That's too long."

He picked up a grape and chewed, ignoring me. He turned the book on another page and kept reading.

"Titus."

No response.

"Titus!" I exclaimed, annoyed.

He finally looks up, his gray eyes focused on my violet ones. "You will heal. I've already informed everyone about your situation."

"When?"

"Last night, when you were asleep." I looked at him from head to toe. Looking for that squared device made for communication.

"Give me your phone." I demanded, held my palm up and waited for him to place his phone on it.

He looked at my hand blankly, then back at me. "I don't require one."

I blinked. "How did you tell everyone then?"

"Pack link." He answers.

"What's that?"

This is my first time hearing about a pack link. Is it mind reading or something?

He closes the book and puts it down on the island counter, crossing his arms above his chest. The action made his muscles tighten, his chest puffed up.

I drooled. Internally, of course.

"It's how we communicate through our minds. It's a connection."

"Okay and how does that work?" I asked, crossing my leg over the other, interested on the science behind their pack link.

"We focus on a string or a link to someone, then we send that person a message by saying it within our minds. If the connection is successful, they will do the same. It's like a radio but it's inside our head." He explains, his eyes focused on me.

I cleared my throat, not fond of the attention.

If humans could do that, artificial intelligence taking over the world would be nothing but delusion.

Titus went back to reading after that, and I fell asleep again because of the pills he gave me. He said it helps lessen the pain.

I did feel a bit better after I took it so I was very thanful he handed me that, it's either sleeping pills or painkillers.

When I woke up it was already five thirty in the afternoon, and Titus was nowhere to be seen. I got bored so I took a book from his shelves and read it.

Oh look at that, the book's title is 'Theory on Love'. It was published last year and the book's cover is a mix of red and black with a half heart on the side.

Whatever, time to choose another book.

I settled on poetry and read it til' the door opened. I didn't bother to look up because I already knew it was him.

He walks heavy like a man who has many enemies, his presence alone can suffocate you if you stand too close. And his eyes pierce through your soul once it lands on you.

That's what I'm feeling right now, my whole body is on alert and for good reason.

Titus is a threat.

One I'm not about to piss off because I can't change my bandages myself. And because I can't cook.

"I'm back." He announces himself as if he's not six foot tall making noises.

"Welcome back." I murmur, turning a page. He shuts the door behind him and locks it, making sure to hook the other lock for safety.

"I'll cook food."

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat, you need to heal." I roll my eyes behind the book.

"Yes, I know I need to heal. I just don't have the energy to move." I sigh heavily, it's probably my wounds absorbing all my energy as it heals.

Ever since I've picked up the book and fixed myself on the couch beside the bed, I didn't bother getting up. It hasn't even occurred to me that if I need to go to the bathroom.

Titus doesn't say anything and heads to the kitchen, his shoes hitting the floor. Shuffling noises were heard as he moves inside, the clanging of plates every now and then.

Footsteps sounded in my ear as he comes close, crouches down on my level and pulls the book away from my face.

I look at him questioningly. "What?"

He's holding a bowl in front of me, takes the spoon and fills it with the food he bought. He then lifts up the spoon and aligns it with my mouth.

My eyes widened in response. "No."

"Open." He said, his eyes held determination.

"I said I don't have the energy-"

"You said you don't have the energy to move. I'm not letting you move, you'll just chew." He insists, pushing the spoon on my closed mouth.

I put the book down and gently held his wrist, stopping his actions. "I'm not a baby."

He smirks, "I know."

I was about to say more but then he took the opportunity to put the spoon inside my mouth when it opened.

I cough at the intrusion, shocked by his audacity to spoon feed me. "You idiot!" It was muffled but the message was clear and real.

He shakes his head in amusement, a real smile dancing on his face. "Wasn't so hard now, was it?"

I glared at him, chewing on the food. It was a mixture of shrimp and rice, I can taste soy sauce as well.

He observes my face, his eyes stayed on my mouth the most. He uses his thumb and swiped the loose rice from my lips, surprising me. His action was so soft, contrary to the man that he is.

He then took another spoonful of the food, making sure I swallowed the previous one and fed me the next.

Titus looks almost peaceful in this kind of setting. He wasn't demanding, he wasn't insulting anyone or glaring at someone who crosses his path.

"Did you eat?" I asked out of nowhere.

"After you." He walks to the kitchen, comes back and hands me a glass of water. I thank him and chugged it down, as if it's my first time drinking water in years.

He fills it up again and settles it on the small table beside the couch.

If Titus had control of his demands, he'd be a perfect partner for someone. He would respect her wishes and wouldn't need to be coercive all the time.

I choked on the food.

Titus grabs the glass again, concern etched on his face.

"Chew properly." he says as he hands me the drink.

Still overbearing though.

He did eat after I finished the whole bowl. He also did the dishes while I went to the bathroom to do business.

It was a whole hour of cleaning my whole body and my teeth when I finally managed to get out of the shower.

Titus did his part and turned off the lights, putting new bandages on all my wounds. I thanked him after and tried to find myself a pair of clothes.

I let my hair dry with the air, brushing it with Titus' own brush. I don't know whose towel I used but he said it's clean and never been touched.

Our days were the same pattern. We wake up, eat, change bandage, eat, read a book, eat and then sleep. I didn't mind the silence he provided, it gave me time to think.

He was nice most of the day, but when it's time to dress my wound he becomes so serious.

His stare was always calculated, calm. His moves were gentle as he bandaged me with care.

This is one of the reasons why my heart keeps beating so fast when I'm in his space, when I'm conscious of every move I make.

He makes me nervous and I'm not one to be nervous at all. I train men like him for god's sake.

One night while I was trying to read a biology book, Titus was making dinner for himself because I already ate leftovers.

My brows furrowed in uncertainty, my brain itching to find the same words. It read, 'genetic mutation.'

Genetic mutations are changes to your DNA sequence that happen during cell division when your cells make copies of themselves.

Your DNA tells your body how to form and function.

Genetic mutations occur during cell division when your cells divide and replicate.

Genetic mutations could lead to genetic conditions like cancer, or they could help humans better adapt to their environment over time.

Help humans better adapt to their environment over time.

I closed the paper and sighed in boredom.

I need another book.

This is like the fifth book I've read in my time here. We need to return soon or else I'd talk nonstop about what I've read.

Good news though, my wounds are getting better and Titus stated that we're gonna go back tomorrow morning.

I've never sighed so loud in my life when he said that, it felt like a weight off my shoulders. I slept like a log that night.

When it was morning, I excitedly got up and went to do my morning routine, making sure my wounds were experiencing less motion.

I finished and went out of the bathroom to ask Titus to change my bandages, but he was still sleeping on the couch.

I slowly walked to where he was. His eyes were closed, his arm supporting his head on the armchair.

I can hear a light snore coming from him as I crept close, making sure to make little noise as possible.

I crouched down at his level and admired the man's beauty. My right hand hesitated in the air, pausing mid-touch. His thick dark brows furrowed, his straight nose, and his lips that looks so soft. I want to trace every inch of him with my fingers but I didn't.

Because it's weird and I don't wanna wake him up from his nap. I don't think he's been sleeping at all the time we've been here, he deserves it.

I gasped in shock as Titus suddenly wakes up and grabs my hanging hands, the one I fantasized touching his face with, and he holds it firmly. "What are you doing?"

His eyes were a shade of dark grey, those two orbs bore into mine as he waits for my answer. "Uhm, bandage."

I was out of words so I said the thing that I needed without actually saying it. Titus seems to understand as nods his head, stands up and drags me with him to the kitchen. He sat me down on the stool and searched for the spare bandage.

He found it on the cupboard above the sink and closed the door of it. He turned around with the bandage in his arm and came to me.

I tried to take my clothes off but he stopped me with a gentle arm on my shoulder.

"Let me turn off the lights first, it'll help you feel better." He searched for the switch and turned the light off.

The sun light wasn't that bright this early morning so him turning off the lights made it a whole lot better.

Somehow, that made my heart beat faster than normal but Titus doesn't seem to know it so I shake it off.

I turned around and took my black oversized shirt off, my back to Titus as he takes off the old bandages on my wound. He took his time with it and his hands were as gentle as a mother would when she takes care of her children.

I like this side of him to be honest.

He successfully takes it all off and cleans my wounds with iodine. I hissed when he pressed too hard but after that, it was fine. I got used to the pressure and made sure to not make a sound because Titus hesitates doing stuff when he hears it.

He bandages me slowly, he starts from my shoulder, to my torso as I took a big inhale, and up again to my wounded arm. He repeated the process four to five times and after he's satisfied, he locks the bandages with tape.

I hurriedly put my shirt back on, turning around just in time for Titus to turn on the lights. He looked at me one last time and nodded, disappearing upstairs.

I sigh, finally done with the bandage thing. I'll be damned if I experience that again, it's a good thing we're going home today.

It didn't take long for Titus to get ready either. I honestly thought he was gonna go back to sleep when he went up, but he just packed his things and tried to fit mine on his bags.

He refused my help, saying my injuries might reopen if I use too much force or move too much. He proudly stated he can carry even heavier ones than those. I agreed because I won't win an argument with him and it feels nice not holding anything for a while.

I got dressed, still clothed with the black shirt, but changed my pants to a new one which Titus gave to me.

I pulled my boots from the shoe rack and begin to put it on, tying the laces and all.

Titus watched me the whole time I moved around, I can't read his face but he's not complaining or saying anything.

I went to the kitchen and grab the last roll of bandage and extra tape, went to Titus and he took it without a word to put it in his bag.

He got up and we went out of his spare house, finally leaving and going back.

My shoulders sagged the moment the cottage disappears into view, just the forest around us now.

Titus was quiet, he didn't even try to bring up a conversation either so I'm stuck inside my head.

A man who is quiet, carrying my stuff with him even if he's not obligated to, and never complains about taking so much of his time?

I feel like a woman right now.

Hopefully, my smart mouth doesn't open anytime soon and ruin this goodness. I'd hate to be the villain in this story.

But I'm curious how far we are and how long it'll take us to get back.

My peace was short lived.

Three big ass wolves appeared in front of us.

I adjusted myself in shock, crouching in a defensive position, my steps still slightly tentative.

The weeks at Titus's secluded cottage had been a sanctuary of healing and quiet intimacy for me, but as they came closer, I know there will be bloodshed.

Those three massive, mangy ass wolves stepped from the shadows of the oaks, their fur matted and eyes gleaming with a familiar, murderous intent. My eyes widened in realization as I observe them farther, their colors are the same as the other night.

These were the same rogues who had nearly ended my fucking life weeks ago. I took a deep breath. The air grew heavy with the scent of damp earth and something far more jagged—malice.

Titus turns to me, seeing the recognition behind my eyes. "Them?"

It was one word. But I knew what he meant. It was them who chased me off the edge, hunted me like prey and tore my back to shreds. All I did was nod and it was enough.

Before I could even draw my knives, he reacted. The bags he'd been carrying hit the forest floor with a dull thud. In one fluid, blurred motion, he stepped in front of me, his shoulders broadening to block my entire view of the threat.

"Titus." I stated, my hand reaching for his arm.

"Stay back." he growled, his voice vibrating with a low, primal warning. My hand paused. He didn't turn around, didn't look at me. His eyes focused on the three wolves in-front of us. "Your stitches are barely closed. Do not move."

The rogues didn't wait anymore. Their growls filled the air followed by their movement. They lunged at us, a synchronized strike from three sides.

Shit, we're gonna die.

But what shocked me was that Titus met them with a ferocity that was calculated rather than chaotic. He caught the leading rogue mid-air, slamming it into a trunk with enough force to crack the wood.

Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

As the other two swarmed, he moved with a lethal efficiency, keeping himself positioned as an unbreakable shield between the attackers and me.

He didn't let a single strand of my hair get touched, they can't even close the distance between me and them. He was holding them back with no problem.

I thought he'd be blinded by anger and will affect his movements, blocking his view from rational thinking but I was wrong.

I tried to step forward, tried to offer my help. But he didn't let me.

"Do not take another step from where you are." He barked, authoritatively.

I stayed rooted in my spot. Despite the odds, Titus was winning.

But three desperate rogues are unpredictable, and as one circled wide to catch Titus's flank, the situation tightened.

They managed to claw Titus's arm, but the same wolf was thrown higher than the trees, leaving my mouth hanging open.

How the fuck...

There's two more left but the other one is injured, a limp in its steps. It was crouched a lot lower than his friend, who's standing tall and looking Titus in his eyes.

I can see the challenge in them but Titus just stays still, his breathing slow and calm. There was no panic in his movements, no hesitation or fear.

There may be two of them but he's certainly stronger than both of them combined.

But their stand off was cut short when a thunderous howl ripped through the canopy, followed by the crashing of underbrush.

From the north, a massive charcoal-grey wolf tore into the clearing.

I could recognize that dirty fur anywhere.

It was Derek.

He carried the severed head of a wolf, gripped firmly by his teeth. It was the same wolf that had managed to sink its claws into Titus.

Derek didn't hesitate, T-boning the rogue that was trying to sneak behind Titus.

Derek drops the head far away, releasing a loud growl towards the lone wolves, his canines shown as a threat.

Seconds later, Kaden and two other pack members burst onto the scene, their own growls tearing through the forest wind.

The fight ended almost as soon as it had began. The lone wolves, realizing Titus was now backed by a literal Beta and Gamma, didn't survive the transition from hunters to being hunted.

But it was Titus who was left to take care of them, and Derek made no move to do anything just like Kaden. They let him do what he wanted, and it was brutal.

First, he shifted back to his human form, then with his right arm, he grabbed the limping wolf from its spine and lifted it with both hands. The wolf with no strength left, whined in pain.

Titus digs his fingers through its back, the crack echoing around us. With one swift motion, he pulled the spine out and dropped the wolf who's now dead on the dirt. He was holding the bone proudly as he looks down at the wolf.

His eyes were intent on killing, his stare remaining on the wolf with pride. He was proud he killed it. There was no hesitation in his movements, just pure animosity.

Then he snapped his head to the remaining wolf, who's now cowering in fear. He can't run away though, he's surrounded.

And just like lightning, the wolf is dead because of Titus. He lunged at the wolf faster than my eyes can track, grabbed its head and twisted it like a damn knot. The squelching of noises rang in my ears, finally ending this fight.

The ground was covered in red, their blood oozing out of their fresh dead bodies. The smell was pungent, so intense my nose started to itch. No one made a move to do anything, we all just watched it happen.

He dropped the head and smiled smugly, walking back to my side.

I think I need therapy after this.

As the dust settled, Derek shifted back, throwing on a spare pair of shorts kept in a nearby cache.

"You took your time getting back," Derek starts, his eyes scanning both of us for injuries. "We picked up their scent a mile back. Thought you might need a hand."

Titus finally relaxed his defensive stance, though he didn't move away from me, not even a step. He turned, his eyes searching mine for any sign of a reopened wound or a flicker of fear.

But I showed neither. Sooner or later, these men will learn that I'm not quick to fear nor surrender.

"I had it under control," Titus muttered, though the slight nod he gave good ol' Derek showed his silent gratitude. He grabbed the wet towel Derek offered, removing the residue of blood on his hands.

Obviously, he did.

He gives it back to him and dries his hands, then turns to me. Titus reaches out, tucking a stray hair behind my ear with his now clean hand, his touch surprisingly gentle compared to the violence of moments before. "They're here now."

As if that's not what I'm seeing right now. What bothers me more though is how natural he touched me, no awkwardness involved.

But my heart might leap out from my chest due to how unexpected it was. I mean, if my cheeks blushing is not an indication that I liked it, then I don't know what is.

He finally leaves my side, turning to Kaden and his warriors.

Derek took that chance to sweep me off my feet and hug me. He squeezes me tightly, cutting off my air supply. "Y-you big back piece of shit-"

I smacked him, my wounds feeling the pressure of his arms around me. "D-derek, my fucking back was torn, put me down!"

That does it. He drops me like I'm on fire, guilt residing in his eyes. I shake my head in amusement and let out a snort as I try to stretch my arms.

"It doesn't hurt much now but you were cutting my oxygen intake."

"Sorry." He scratches the back of his head. I only nodded in response and patted his arm.

"Don't worry about it big guy. Let's go home, I'm famished."

What. A. Day.

We went back with everyone after Kaden and his warriors cleaned up the mess Titus made.

I, once again, slept after eating. For someone who just witnessed a massacre, you would think they'd avoid eating for days. Not me though, food is too good to pass up, no matter the circumstance.

But my energy was still very low. My body finally taking the toll of receiving the onslaught, and has finally given up.

And yes, the damned witch did show up in my dreams with one of her favorite riddles.

"Katie," Her voice-like melody resounded in my ears, echoing throughout the empty space. It was icy, sending shivers down my spine.

But instead of being afraid, I just feel annoyed everytime she bothers me.

"What now?" I roll my eyes.

"Your blood.."

"Yeah. What about it?" I wiped a residue blood on my arm. I wonder where I got it but it was probably what she saw and decided to comment on it.

I forgot to take a bath, damn it.

"Do I smell?" I ask out of nowhere.

"Your scent is the only one present." She answers.

Humming a random tune, I try to move my body but it was to no avail. I can't see myself and I can't move myself, just great.

"You should be careful next time, or else more of your blood will be spilled."

I raise my eyebrows in question, "Now now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. It's just a torn back and a clawed arm, what's worse than that?"

"Your death."