Chapter 32
As I’m leaving the guest cottage, Marik comes walking down the path, a brown paper bag and a hot coffee in his hand. His face lights up when he sees me, a cheesy grin spread across my own face. My future husband. My future High King.
“Hey, you,” he says when he sees me, pulling me in for a hug.
I greet him with a peck, his lips tasting of coffee.
“Long time no see,” he jokes. “How do you feel this morning? Wait, what are you doing here?” he asks me, looking back at the guest cottage. His face falls momentarily as if he’s imagining me visiting one of the other princes.
"I came to tell you something,” I continue, glancing around nervously. I don’t want any of the other princes to overhear, especially Asmo. “Can we go somewhere private?”
“Sure…Is everything okay?” he asks hesitantly, his voice full of concern.
He leads me to a gazebo nestled in the trees. We sit down on the bench. I lean into him before glancing around and making sure we’re alone. My guard stands watch, but otherwise, we are.
He notices me looking around and asks, “Want me to put a sound barrier around us?”
“Yes, please. I still have no idea how to do that,” I confess.
He glances around the gazebo and nods, saying, “Done. What’s going on?”
I hesitate, unsure of how to even begin. I hadn’t practiced this speech. I had only focused on the break-up speeches, leaving this one, the most important one, left forgotten.
“I met with the Herd yesterday. After the attack the other night, they told me that I have to choose. Which is honestly much sooner than I anticipated.”
His face falls at the words, devastation written across his face, and my hands fly up to cup his face.
“No, no, no,” I say. I smile softly and say, “No, Marik. It’s you. I choose you.”
He doesn’t speak for a second, and dread starts to pool in my stomach. I don’t think I can take another denial.
“You do?” he asks, his voice a whisper. “Are you sure?”
I nod hurriedly, waiting for him to say something, anything else.
“You’re telling me that I’m the next High King?” he asks, his eyes widening as the news settles in.
“Only if you want to be,” I say, still a little confused by his reaction.
His smile fades, and his affect turns sober. “Wait. Are you sure? You just said that you aren’t ready, that it was sooner than you planned.”
“I’m sure. It feels right. You’re the only one I brought to meet Willa, the only one I even thought about bringing to meet her. I guess you could say that was the final test. It’s you if you want this,” I say, gesturing all around me.
Finally, a grin graces his handsome face, and he says, “Only if you’re the High Queen sitting beside me.” Finally, he pulls me in, holding me tightly before letting me go. Suddenly, he breaks the embrace and standing.
“Wh—” I ask but stop myself as he gets down on one knee and pulls out a small black velvet box.
He looks up at me and I’m reminded of Asmo on his knees just the other day. A different dark Serpent Prince worshiping me in a different way. I banish the thought and focus on Marik looking up at me, eyes filled with light, hope, and happiness.
“Mae?”
“Yes,” I whisper, feeling my body buzzing, answering the question before he even asked it.
“Will you marry me?” he asks, opening the velvet box. Inside rests a black stone held in place by a delicate gold band. On either side of the black stone sits two crescent moons, their backs touching the gemstone.
My mouth drops. It’s certainly not the engagement ring I would have ever pictured for myself, but it’s one that a Serpent Queen would wear. And even though I’m the Deer Queen, I’ll also be joining myself to the Serpent House with this marriage.
“Yes,” I whisper again, a grin spreading across my face.
His hands are slightly shaky as he removes the ring from the box and slides it onto my finger.
It fits perfectly, and he kisses the back of my hand before he slowly stands.
I hold it up, the gemstone sparkling in the light.
The contrast of the black gemstone with my pale skin is shocking, but it’s perfect.
In a way, it’s a perfect symbol of how we fit together.
The dark prince perfectly paired with the light that the Deer Court represents and brings to the kingdom.
“It’s Willa’s,” he says, still looking at the ring.
Did I hear him right? “What?”
“The ring. She gave it to me the other night.”
“When did she do that?” I ask. I was with them for most of the night. When would they have had the time to talk about this? Why would Willa give her ring to him, when I hadn’t even chosen him yet? What if I had chosen someone else? Would Willa have had to ask for the ring back?
“When you went to the bathroom. Right before…the attack,” he says, wincing.
When I went to splash my face with water.
Or I guess it could have been right after I left them outside.
That would explain the body language. Willa must have been in on this larger secret.
Something feels off, but I can’t place it.
I shake the feeling, instead focusing on this kind, handsome prince in front of me.
The handsome fiancé in front of me.
My fiancé.
“Are you ready for this?” I ask him, glancing toward the ring, then in the direction of the castle.
Instead of answering with words, his lips find mine, and he kisses me softly, gently. His hands cup my face, and the kiss is so tender that I feel myself falling, falling, falling. His mouth opens, and our tongues meet, setting butterflies off in the pit of my stomach.
He pulls back slowly, and I resist the urge to follow his mouth with mine. “When does the announcement go out?” I can hear the excitement in his voice.
“At the end of the day. Please don’t tell Asmo. I haven’t had the chance to break the news to him,” I say. “The wedding will take place sometime next week.”
His eyes widen. “That soon?”
I grimace. It feels way too soon. “I know.”
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
I think about that. I feel…good. I feel happy. The other night still lingers, but I think that’s going to take time to fully get over.
“It’s a lot. It’s been a crazy couple of days, but I’m good,” I settle on. The look he gives me is doubtful, and I hurriedly add, “I’m sorry. I’m happy. I really am so happy.” I look at the ring, then back at him and say, “We’re getting married, Marik!”
He smiles at me hesitantly, not fully believing me, but he reaches for me anyway. I jump into his arms, and we stand there, holding each other, soaking up each other’s warmth.
After a few minutes, I pull back. “I need to find Asmo and tell him. Any idea where he might be?”
“He’s at the pool. I passed him a little bit earlier.” He shrugs and asks, “Want me to walk you there?”
I glance toward the guard standing outside of the gazebo and say, “No, thank you, though. I’ve got someone to take me. I also don’t think bringing my new fiancé to break up with his brother would go over too well.” I force a smile onto my face, but I know it doesn’t meet my eyes.
We kiss once more and promise to see each other soon. As I’m walking away, I glance backward, hoping for another look at him before I go break another heart. But he’s not looking at me, and my heart sinks again.
Before I make it to the pool, I take the ring from my finger and place it in my pocket. I find Asmo sitting at the edge of the steam bath, his pants rolled up and his feet submerged in the steaming water.
I resist the urge to sit beside him and instead opt to sit across from him, pulling my skirt up and easing my feet into the hot water. The steaming water feels incredible, and I let loose a sigh. Asmo glances up but doesn’t greet me.
Instead, he whispers, “I’m sorry. About last night. About everything.”
“I’m fine,” I say, not meeting his gaze.
“Are you?”
I think about the question. Am I okay? No.
What happened with the osseris clings to me like a dark shadow, and the ring in my pocket now feels like an anvil.
I have no idea what I’m doing or if I’m making the right choice.
I feel like I’m blind, like I’m stumbling in the dark, hoping I’m heading in the right direction.
“You chose Marik, didn’t you?” he asks quietly.
“Yes,” I whisper.
He nods silently. We sit that way for a long time, both of us staring at the swirling water in silence.
His feet stop swirling. I look up, only to find him staring at me. This prince who’s held me in his arms, who made me feel so real and alive. This prince who kissed my scars with tenderness, who kissed me with the fire of a thousand burning hells.
I take a deep breath and steel myself to ask him the question that’s been burning in my brain since last night. “Was it ever real to you? Or was it just a game?”
He looks down, back into the swirling water. For a moment, I think he’s going to tell me what I want to hear.
No, princess, it was never a game. It was the only real thing I’ve ever had.
But then he looks up. His expression hardens. “It was never real.”
But I can feel it. I can feel the lie. My heart thrashes at his words, but my magic knows it’s a blatant lie.
I remove my feet from the water and stand. “Goodbye, Asmo.”
I walk away. And just like he did last night, I don’t turn back.
Tears cloud my vision as chilled air whips around me. I take a shuddering breath and shove my heartbreak down. I shove it all the way down and lock it in the deepest part of my heart.
I take a moment to calm my features and erase any trace of anger, hurt, or disappointment. I will my features into the face of a newly engaged High Queen. I remove the ring from my pocket and place it on my hand as I enter the castle and walk up the stairs.
When I get back to my wing, Ivan is already waiting for me.
“Hi, Ivan,” I say, plastering a smile onto my face.
“Mae,” he says, looking at me expectantly.
I hold out my left hand, displaying the engagement ring. “It’s done,” I say. “Marik and I are officially engaged.”
He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes either. Can he tell this entire process has officially torn me in two?
“That’s great news,” he says. “I came by to discuss the details of the engagement with you.”
We step inside and take our seats in the living room.
“As a reminder, the official announcement of your engagement with Prince Marik will be sent out this afternoon. The remaining princes will be sent home by the end of the day. Should you and Prince Marik decide to live together during your engagement, he’s welcome to stay with you in your wing.
But please do not move into the guest cottage, as your wing has the most protection spells that the castle has. ”
I nod, thinking about that. I guess the next logical step would be to move in with Marik. Even if living together here is only temporary, it makes sense that we would make that step together.
That should make me happy. It doesn’t.
“The wedding is currently scheduled for next Saturday,” he says.
“Do I get to have a bachelorette party?” I ask jokingly.
Ivan sighs but says, “It would have to be here.” He gestures around to the living room.
I smile and say, “I’d love that if we can arrange it. I’ll keep it small. Just me, Holly, Elle, and Cally.” He gives me a tight smile and nods.
He continues to give me details about the wedding, when I’ll choose a dress, how Marik will be sworn into his role as High King, and on and on.
The very next step will be the engagement photos, which Marik and I will take tomorrow.
After the pictures are taken, they’ll be used to send out formal invitations to the different High Houses.
The entire kingdom will be invited to the wedding, just like the coronation.
After he leaves, I sit on the couch and in silence. My thoughts stray to Asmo, wondering what he’s doing, if he’s left yet. I don’t want to sit here in silence, my thoughts running through my head, but it feels impossible to stop them.
His words stung like tiny razorblades pressing against my skin. My own razorblade calls to me, but I resist the pull, remembering what happened the last time I lost control.
I do, however, give in to the urge to cry, telling myself it will be the only time I cry for Asmo.
But I know I’m a liar.