Chapter 11
11
Angel stuffed his hands into the front pockets of his jacket as they walked along the waterfront. A handful of people were enjoying the break in the rain and walking their dogs. Beside him, Iris was gazing at the Pacific Ocean and the lit-up Ferris wheel in the distance. He was glad that she’d asked him to walk with her.
After learning about her husband’s death, he looked at her in a new light. He couldn’t imagine what it must have been like to experience a major loss like that so young, especially when you had a child to raise. He now understood why Violet had said Iris wasn’t looking to date. He felt grateful beyond words that Iris had shared that bit of herself with him.
“What song are you humming?” she asked.
He hadn’t realized he’d been humming aloud. “?‘Adore’ by Prince. They were playing it in the hotel lobby. It’s been stuck in my head.”
“I love that song,” she said. She tilted her head, looking at him more closely. The corner of her mouth lifted in a smile. “You have a soothing hum.”
“I used to get in trouble for it in school. Lots of detentions,” he said, liking that she’d paid enough attention to notice this small detail about him. “You ever get detention for a weird habit?”
“Never.”
She said it so quickly, Angel laughed.
“Well, I came close to getting detention once,” she amended. “While taking one of those standardized tests in seventh grade, I realized that this boy Sean Davis was cheating off me. I got so angry, I stood up and shouted at him to stop. Then I shoved his pencil and test to the ground.”
She winced, like this was the worst possible act that she could have committed. Angel laughed harder.
“You laugh, but I’m serious! It was bad!” she said, giggling herself. “I was really scared that I’d get in trouble.”
“What happened after that?” he asked.
“Sean and I were pulled out of the classroom. He got detention. I was reprimanded for yelling, but that was basically it.”
“So what I’m hearing is that you liked school,” he said.
“I loved it.”
Angel smiled. “Were you a teacher’s pet?”
“Yes,” she said, answering honestly. “But only because I worked really hard. I didn’t go out of my way to receive favoritism or anything.”
“I believe you.”
They passed by a group of teens gathered on a bench, laughing loudly. Angel tensed and automatically steeled himself for an interaction. But he remembered that he was wearing his disguise and he relaxed. The teens didn’t spare him a glance. He and Iris walked on without interruption.
“It really works,” Iris whispered, gesturing to his outfit.
“Every time.”
He told her about how he’d created the disguise on his first R it was considerate and accepting. If Iris wanted to talk more, he would listen. If she didn’t, that was okay too.
“It took me a long time to stop talking about him in the present tense,” she continued. She inhaled and exhaled, slow and deep. “After he died, it was hard to get a grip on reality. It was bizarre to me that the world kept turning and life continued on while he was no longer here, and I was angry that was he was taken away from us so suddenly. But Calla needed me, and focusing on her well-being kept me afloat. What makes me sad now is that she doesn’t really remember him, and he was a wonderful dad. He loved her so much.”
“I think she’ll carry that with her, though,” Angel said quietly. “The way he loved her? She’ll always have that.”
“I like that idea.” Iris pivoted, facing him instead of the city view. “It’s nice to talk about Terry with someone who didn’t know him. Now you have a piece of him in your memory too.”
Angel didn’t think he was capable of truly expressing just how grateful he was that she’d shared this with him. But he would try.
“Thank you for telling me about him,” he said. “Really.”
She nodded. “Thank you for listening.”
They eventually made their way back to the bottom of the wheel and exited their cabin. They walked down the pier in the direction they’d come, but this time, Angel spotted something he hadn’t seen before. He pointed at the Seattle Bay Creamery sign.
“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” he said. “An ice cream shop. You think they have mint chocolate chip?”
Iris pursed her lips, but her eyes were smiling. “What difference is it to you? You made it clear that you don’t like mint and chocolate.”
“You’ve convinced me to give it another try.”
She smirked. “Okay, then.”
Despite the night chill, they both ordered scoops of homemade mint chocolate chip in waffle cones.
“This is delicious,” Iris said. Her eyes lit up as she enjoyed her cone.
Angel was convinced that he was actually eating sweet toothpaste. He grimaced before tossing his cone in the trash. Iris burst into laughter, and Angel’s heartbeat quickened. He wanted to make her laugh like that all the time. But that wasn’t his role to occupy. He’d settle for being able to make her laugh right now.
“It’s just nasty,” he said. “I’m sorry. But who thought of that flavor? What’s wrong with them?”
“You hate mint chocolate chip almost as much as Lily used to hate those SpongeBob SquarePants Popsicles. Remember those?”
Angel frowned, shrugging.
“What?” she said, peering at him.
“Nothing. It’s stupid.” He sighed. “ SpongeBob SquarePants references bother me.”
Her brows furrowed. “Why?”
“I didn’t watch a lot of TV when I was younger, and everyone at school loved SpongeBob. To this day, people regularly quote lines from the show and I see clips online all the time, and I feel out of the loop.”
“So you don’t know about Handsome Squidward?”
“Who?”
“Never mind, not important.” She waved her hand. “Why don’t you watch the show now? It’s probably streaming somewhere.”
“There’s almost thirteen seasons! It’s too much. I’d never have enough free time to watch it in chunks like I’d want to.”
Iris ate the last bit of her cone and dusted off her hands. “ SpongeBob was okay, but if you want to make up for lost time on kids shows, I’d start with Hey Arnold! Or maybe Doug .”
“I’ve heard of them.” He pulled out his phone and made a note of the shows she’d mentioned. He also made a note about Friendly’s.
“Were you not allowed to watch TV?” Iris asked as they walked back toward the hotel. “I remember you mentioned before that your mom was really religious.”
“It’s not that I wasn’t allowed. We only had one television in our house, and we didn’t have cable because my parents only needed to watch the news. I don’t think they would have had a problem with SpongeBob because it seems innocent enough, but you never really know with my mom. Anything that she considered indecent wasn’t allowed, and her definition of indecent varied. I used to secretly listen to R & B music at night while my parents were sleeping. That wasn’t allowed. Sometimes I think I grew up in an alternate universe.”
“Was it hard growing up like that?” Iris asked.
“It was. I felt stifled, but it was all I knew. I see now that they thought they were protecting us.” He paused, looking up as the moon peeked from behind the clouds. “But I think there’s a way to love God without having to give up so much else too. My mom doesn’t really agree. She judges me.”
“Because of what your life is like now?”
“Yeah,” he said. “She doesn’t approve of me singing secular music and wishes I still sung gospel. That definitely caused a rift between us and it’s why we didn’t talk the first few years I was living in LA. After my first music video came out, she almost had a heart attack. She thought it was too racy, I guess. She said I embarrassed her and she could barely look her church friends in the eye. Sometimes she acts like I was corrupted or something.”
Iris gently touched his elbow. “I’m sorry she treats you like that. You don’t deserve it.”
“Thanks,” he said. “I try to put myself in her shoes sometimes in order to see where she’s coming from. She’s always tried to use her life as a cautionary tale to me and my sister. She ran away from home when she was seventeen and bounced around from state to state. She partied a lot and I guess she had a nihilistic approach to life because she didn’t care about what happened to her. Then she ended up in Maren and met my dad. When she got pregnant with me, she decided to change her life. I get why she acts the way that she does. She doesn’t want me making the same mistakes that she made, but that’s not what I’m doing. I wish that we could agree to disagree.”
They were nearing the hotel now. Angel slowed his walk, aware that he didn’t want to part from Iris yet and return to their separate rooms. To his relief, she matched his unhurried pace.
“How often do you see her?” Iris asked.
“Only on Christmas. It’s all I can handle, to be honest,” he said. “I’ll see her next month, though. My hometown is honoring me because I donated money for church renovations and to the youth music programs. What I do for charity is the main reason that my mom started talking to me again.”
Iris nodded, taking this in. “For the record, I liked your first music video. ‘Better For You,’ right?”
He smiled. “Yeah—and thank you. I worked really hard to learn that choreography,” he said. “You wouldn’t believe what they put me through to get that six-pack. I felt like I was training to be a gladiator.”
Iris snort-laughed, covering her mouth. Angel couldn’t help the smile that overtook his face. Seeing her laugh so openly did something to him. It made him want things that weren’t meant to be his.
They walked into the hotel lobby and Angel finally removed his hat and fake beard.
“It’s nice to see your real face again,” Iris said.
Angel smirked. “Now that you know my secret, you have to promise not to tell anyone.”
“Not only do I promise, I swear.” She held up her fist, lifting her pinky finger. “I’ll even pinky swear like I do with Calla.”
Angel laughed and looped his pinky around hers, feeling the warmth and softness of her skin. Iris smiled at him and their gazes held. Then, all too soon, she let go of his hand, and Angel tried his best to pretend that he wasn’t affected by something as simple as linking pinkies.
Tonight, he’d learned a few things about Iris. She was a great listener, and with time, she gave you the opportunity to be a good listener as well. She liked Shirley Temples and mint chocolate chip ice cream. She wasn’t afraid of heights. Talking to her made him feel stable and grounded.
She also loved her husband, and she might not have more room in her heart for anyone else.
And that sucked for Angel. Because after tonight, he only liked her more.