Chapter 27
Mid-June
Suzie and Josie strolled in Central Park on a hot Saturday afternoon, twins Euan and Isla running on ahead.
Suzie craned her neck to check what they were up to.
“So how’s it going with Peter? And why haven’t you invited us to meet him?
You’ve been together, what, four months? Isla! Stay on the path!”
“Not yet three months,” Josie protested. “And you’ll meet him after the concert next weekend. We’re performing a duet together.”
“A few minutes after a show isn’t much. He’s your boyfriend. We need to meet him properly.”
“I guess he’s my boyfriend . . . he says he loves me and wants to be my boyfriend. But I’m not sure just because he says something is so, makes it so.”
“What are you talking about? You’ve been together for months, he loves you, he’s met David and Anna. If that’s not being a boyfriend, I don’t know what is. If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, and freakin’ quacks—”
“I get it. It’s a goddamn duck. So he’s my boyfriend.
But I don’t feel 100% like I’m his girlfriend.
He’s so confident he can make me happy, it’s like nothing else matters.
It’s not that I’m saying no, but this is a guy who won’t take no for an answer.
You realize I turned him down three times when he first started asking me out? ”
“You can’t blame him for being persistent, especially when you obviously liked him. Isla! Leave those crows alone.”
“Sure, but it’s not liking him that’s the problem. He’s super-cute and . . .” Josie checked around for eavesdroppers, “great in the sack. But I’m not in the right frame of mind to fall in love with him. I just can’t get there.”
“Why not?” Suzie asked.
Josie turned to her. “Oh, I don’t know, Suzie. Maybe the fact I have a husband in another life.” Her voice was harsher than she intended. “Isn’t that enough?”
Suzie kept her eyes on the twins, pursing her red lips. “Okay, Josie. No need to be snippy. I get that you’re conflicted because of all your old memories. But surely, at some point, you have to accept this life as your new reality. Right?”
Josie puffed her cheeks. “Do I? It’s hard. I still really miss my husband. I know that’s weird for you to hear, but it’s the truth.”
The serious Euan pulled on the pink sleeve of his gregarious sister, who was amusing a group of onlookers by flapping around with some crows.
“But Peter is so loving, and smart and charismatic, I find myself forgetting all about Rob for a while. And then, after Peter’s gone, I remember, and I’m wracked with guilt. It’s not a healthy way to conduct a relationship, is it?”
“I guess not,” Suzie replied. “But maybe you can eventually get over that. Those old memories will fade, and you can be happy with Peter. In the meantime, don’t push a great guy away.”
Euan and Isla came running back. “Ice cream!” they demanded. They’d reached the lake, and Suzie bought the kids waffle cones while she and Josie each got a small cup of gelato. Suzie plonked the kids on the bench, where they could all watch the ducks.
“Sit nicely and eat your ice cream,” she told them. “Hey, check those out, Josie! Looking and walking and quacking like ducks. I wonder what they are.”
Josie stuck her tongue out. “I know. I’m just feeling messed up.”
“You’re going to London for the big send-off, right? It’ll be therapeutic to spend time with your family.” Suzie took a big mouthful of gelato.
“Yeah, flying next Sunday, day after the show. Their farewell party is the following Saturday, and then David and Anna fly to Sydney after that. Then I’m going to spend the next week with Laura and Theo. I miss that little guy so much.”
“I’ll bet. When is David and Anna’s baby due?”
“October. Did I tell you? They’re having a girl. We found out a few weeks ago.”
“Oh, how cute! A baby niece for you. Too bad she’ll be so far away. When will you meet her?”
“I’ll fly to Sydney mid-November for the wedding. It’ll be spring there, so it’s perfect, and the baby will be a month old. After that . . . who knows how long before I see them again? David says they’ll visit either London or New York once a year, but I suspect that’s ambitious.”
“Yeah, it’s tough with little ones. I haven’t been home or seen my brother or nephew in two years. And they’re only in Ohio.”
“Wow. I can’t imagine not seeing David or my niece for that long.”
“Well, it’s so hard, when you all have small kids. But it won’t be like that for you and David, I’m sure. It’ll just always be you who’s the one to visit him in Australia, as you’re so much more mobile. Don’t expect Anna to schlep her kids across the world to visit you on a regular basis.”
Josie finished her ice cream. “You’re right. It’s always going to be me making the effort, as a childless, single person who can fly anywhere.”
Suzie nudged her. “Maybe if you let this thing with Peter really happen, you won’t be childless or single. I’ll bet Peter wants kids.”
Josie took Suzie’s empty ice cream cup, slotting it into her own.
“Then I’ll really never see David or my niece. No thanks.”