Chapter 19 Jake
Jake cursed under his breath at the turgid stream of Fourth of July traffic. Why had he thought meeting his brother at the fireworks would be a good idea?
He had to go all the way up to Market Street before he found a parking spot.
After reversing into a space, he paused to put his sunglasses on and pull his ball cap down so his face was barely visible.
He hadn’t been out in public much, except to the beach, and he didn’t want strangers recognizing him from the news. It could turn nasty.
Jake strode the twenty minutes back to the historic downtown district, making his way to the park near the riverwalk where the Fourth of July festival was. He wove through the crowds, trying to locate the spot where his brother had texted to say they were sitting, near the side of the stage.
Ed called out to him, getting up to greet Jake as he walked towards them. They hugged, slapping each other on the back before stepping back.
“Sorry I’m late, man,” Jake said. “Traffic was a nightmare. Hey, Annabelle.” His sister-in-law was looking good, as usual.
Her glossy red hair, which was loose around her shoulders, complemented the green, strappy sundress she wore.
Stocky Ed, on the other hand, was balding rapidly and looking more and more like their short mother as he aged.
Jake thanked the universe for the millionth time for making him favor his tall father.
“No problem, take a seat.” Ed gestured to the plaid blanket laid out on the grass. “You hungry? Annie brought enough food for six people, God knows why.” Annabelle only smiled in response.
Jake sat down, cross-legged, across from Annabelle. “Great, I’m starving. I’ve barely eaten all day.” He leaned forward to take a thick slice of quiche from a Tupperware container. “Man, it’s busy this year.”
“I’m just so happy you came out,” Annabelle’s pretty face held an expression of affectionate concern. “How are you holding up?”
Ah, that phrase. It was the line he’d heard more than any other over the past five weeks. If he had a dollar . . .
Jake gave the usual close-lipped, subdued smile and nod, which seemed effective in pacifying friends and family.
“I’m hanging in there. It’s rough, obviously.
Comes in waves. Sometimes I’m doing okay, I can get out of bed, go for a surf, do my laundry.
Others, not so much.” He shrugged. “The better days are getting more frequent. And I need to get out more, not just surfing but with other people. Do stuff like this.” He forced himself to take a big bite of quiche.
“Good for you,” his sister-in-law replied with a soft smile. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you. I mean, it’s been tough enough on us. We love Liv like a sister, you know that. Ed and I wouldn’t even be together if it weren’t for her. We really miss her, Jake.”
Jake nodded, swallowing his food along with the lump forming in his throat. “I know. Mom and Dad are really upset, too. And so many people have been reaching out to me, asking if they can help. It’s kinda great knowing how many people care so much about her.”
Ed placed his hand on Jake’s shoulder, squeezing it lightly.
“Totally, man. She’s the best. And all the rest of that stuff — the comments, the people who don’t know her, or you — just ignore them.
They’re small-minded pricks with nothing better to do than make up dumb theories and state them like fact. ”
Jake let out a breath. “It’s hard. We’ve no idea what happened to Liv, and yet I’m on trial by social media, and everyone seems to be finding me guilty. I had to ask Detective Banks last week if I needed my own lawyer.”
Ed’s eyebrows raised. “What did he say?”
Jake took a sip of water as he looked at his brother.
“That as a lawyer myself, I was better placed to judge that, and it was up to me. But also, that lawyering up can look defensive, and I’m already under public scrutiny.
He suggested maybe I would be better off trusting in the process.
I mean, that’s kinda comforting in itself.
I’m pretty sure he believes me. Which I really need.
Not everybody does.” His mouth twisted wryly.
“I’ve been indefinitely benched from work. David says the optics aren’t good.”
“That sucks, man. I’m sorry, I know you were hoping going back to work could distr—”
Whatever Ed was going to say next was drowned out by the noise of the crowd as the band came onto stage and began to play a cover of one of Jake’s favorite tunes, ‘Carolina Can’.
It had been one of the songs on repeat on his iTunes playlist at Princeton, causing his New Yorker roommate to tease Jake endlessly about his country roots, but Jake didn’t care.
The song made him think of home. Of Liv, who’d just rented the loft in the red-brick warehouse conversion he could see the corner of right now.
He could remember longing for the semester breaks, when he could stay with her there, making love on their cheap new Ikea sheets, and making plans for the future.
“I’m gonna head to the front and watch the band a while,” Jake announced to Ed and Annabelle.
He rose, quickly joining the small crowd at the front of the stage, where he could more clearly see the charismatic male singer, a short Black dude in an oversized cowboy hat.
The song came to a close, and Jake joined the others, clapping and whistling his appreciation.
The next number was a classic foot-stomper that had everyone dancing.
Jake smiled, wishing he was brave enough to dance along with them.
He would have, if Liv had been there. In fact, she’d have forced him into it.
He could almost see her among the crowd now, her long limbs always a little ungainly but unabashed in their joy.
A woman on the far side caught his eye. Well, her hair really. She was watching the dancers, was shorter than Liv, but had hair just like hers — the exact same shade of chestnut. He smiled. Of course. Charlotte. He should’ve guessed she’d be here tonight.
Jake waited until the song finished and pushed his way through the applauding crowd toward her. “Hey,” he greeted. It was tough to smile at her, though, when they were sharing so much pain.
She turned to him, her eyebrows popping up. “Jake, hey. I didn’t think I’d see you here this year.”
“Just trying to get out more. I’ve hardly seen anybody,” he replied, a touch defensively. Was five weeks of a missing fiancée too soon to be out and about? “How are you doing? It’s good to see you out,” he added pointedly. If she was out, why couldn’t he be?
“I’m okay. Trying to get on with life as much as possible. Hey,” she turned, stepping aside to reveal her companion. “You remember Savannah.” It was the blonde he’d met with Charlotte at the beach a couple of weeks back.
“Yeah, right. Hi again.”
Savannah smiled with a disarming sweetness. “Hey, Jake.”
Her voice held that soft sing-song tone people had used when his grandmother died, when Jake was ten. “So good to see you here. I’ve been thinking of you and this whole situation so much—”
The band started a new number, and they moved away to hear each other more easily. They stopped next to a face-painting station, where a small boy was getting the full Spiderman treatment.
“—so awful, what people are saying online,” Savannah continued. “That kind of public vilification is the last thing you need, given everything you’re already going through. I’m so sorry.”
Vilification? Jake hadn’t thought it was as bad as that. Just some douchebags on social media spouting dumb theories.
“I can’t stop myself reading the articles, but I’ve been trying not to read the comments,” he replied honestly. “Especially not in the past couple of weeks. Ever since the cops did the searches on my home and stuff.”
Savannah twisted her pretty mouth, brow furrowed. “Probably for the best. You need to focus on what’s important. Finding Liv, bringing her home, right? I swear, it’s so distressing. I can’t stop thinking about it.”
Sure, it was all about Savannah and her feelings. Typical of a woman whose job was to look gorgeous on Instagram to make it all about her.
“It’s kind of you to give it so much of your attention,” he replied, in a slightly chilly tone.
Savannah raised a perfect eyebrow, ever so slightly. “Of course. This is my close friend’s sister we’re talking about, too. I’ve been devastated for Charlie.” She smiled at Charlotte sympathetically.
Okay. Maybe he’d misjudged her. “Thanks. It’s good to have people around who care.”
Charlotte, who’d been watching the little boy in the Spiderman face paint, looked at Jake. “How’d it go with the police searches? I haven’t spoken to you since they took away all your devices.”
What was she asking? Whether the police found anything to suggest he might have had something to do with what happened to Liv?
“Fine. Obviously nothing came up.” Jake’s voice was deliberately cool again.
“They won’t tell me the results of the searches on the hiker, that Kirk guy.
They’ve been asking whether we knew each other before it happened.
We didn’t.” He shot a glance at Savannah, who was listening carefully.
“But I made the mistake of emailing him, just to apologize for dragging him into all this, and the cops got antsy about how I got in contact with him. He’s a friend of my dad’s buddy, Bill. Still, it didn’t look great.”
Charlotte grimaced. “I guess you have to be real careful, public perception being the way it is. That hiker’s under a bunch of scrutiny. Just lay low and don’t do anything until it blows over?”
Would this ever blow over? What if Liv was gone forever?
“I can’t afford to put a foot wrong right now.” He blew out a breath, so exhausted by these conversations about Liv, and yet she was all he could talk or think about. “Well, it was good running into you. I’m gonna head back to Ed and Annabelle.”
“Say hi to them for me,” Charlotte replied. “Have a good night.”
“I’ll call you soon, okay?” Jake smiled at her, then held his hand up to Charlotte’s friend. The blonde gave him a tiny, fluttering finger-wave back.
When he arrived back at the picnic spot, his brother and Annabelle were propped on their elbows, mid-kiss.
How lucky they were to have each other. Liv was responsible for that.
She’d made Ed upload his profile to Match.com, vetting the women before he replied.
Annabelle was the third girl Ed had gone on a date with.
They’d been inseparable since. That was four years ago, and they’d been married for two.
“Get a room,” Jake said as he sat down.
They broke apart. “Sorry.” Ed looked anything but. Annabelle grinned, as she sat up, smoothing her hair back into place. “Where’d you get to?”
“Ran into Charlotte and a friend of hers. Charlotte says hi.”
“Is she doing okay?” The concern in Annabelle’s voice was clear.
Jake shrugged. “As well as any of us, I guess.” He couldn’t talk about it for a second longer. “You two look particularly cozy tonight.”
Ed beamed, looking at his wife for confirmation. Annabelle gave him a tiny nod. “We’re celebrating. I wasn’t sure whether to tell you, but . . . we’re pregnant.” Ed’s grin got even brighter, if that was possible. “Gonna be parents, God help us.” He nudged Jake. “You’ll be an uncle in the New Year.”
Jake felt himself genuinely smiling for the first time in more than a month. “That’s amazing, you guys! Congratulations. I’m so happy for you.” He hugged his brother, then Annabelle.
She squeezed him back, a tear in the corner of her eye.
“Thanks, Jake. It’s so hard to share something so happy, with what’s going on, but we hope it will help.
” She put a knuckle to her face, stopping the moisture from ruining her make-up.
“I’m glad you think it’s good to have happy news right now. ”
“Of course,” Jake replied. “It’s important that life goes on, and good things still happen. Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?”
“Way too early,” Annabelle tipped her head to the side to rest on Ed’s shoulder.
He put his arm around her, pulling her close.
“But we’ve already picked out names, and we decided not to keep those a secret.
If it’s a boy, we think Teddy, Jr. We need to keep the name going, right?
Your dad would be disappointed otherwise.
And if it’s a girl, Olivia, of course. Couldn’t be anything else. ”
Olivia? What?
In loving memory of her would-have-been aunt?
Jake’s expression soured as he looked over at his brother, whose expression was frozen in place. Jake would expect this kind of insensitivity from Annabelle, who was sweet but a little self-centered. But from Ed?
“She’s not dead, Annabelle. She’s missing. Isn’t it a bit early to be naming babies in her memory?”
Annabelle’s face dropped. “Oh, Jake. It’s not like that, I swear. Right, Ed?” She turned to her husband for help.
Ed put a hand on his brother’s arm. “Of course, man. We just love the name, and your Liv is so important to us. Whether Liv is back with us by then, or not, we’d want our daughter to be named Olivia.
But if it’s painful for you, we won’t. We’ve got other options that we like.
We’re not saying we think she’s dead, man, that’s not it at all. ”
Jake heaved in a breath. God, he was so hyper-sensitive these days. “Sure. It just feels weird, that’s all. Liv’s only been gone a few weeks” — he wasn’t sure five weeks qualified as a few, but whatever — “and it already feels like people are moving on.”
Mostly, he was scared he might become one of those people.
There he was, going out, having fun at a Fourth of July festival, listening to country music, when Liv was God knows where, having God knows what done to her.
Or rotting in a shallow grave somewhere.
But he wasn’t about to say as much to his brother.
Instead he asked Annabelle about her new PR job and maternity leave, and she seemed grateful for the change in subject.
As the warm evening moved into twilight, the crowd thickened, and the sky cast a warm orange glow across Cape Fear River to the west. Jake, Ed, and Annabelle started to pack up their belongings to minimize the space they were taking up.
Ed held his wife close to him as the red, white, and blue fireworks lit up the sky above the river, reflected brilliantly in the water.
Jake had never felt a moment of jealousy in his life. He’d never had any need to, with such a blessed existence as his and Liv’s. But, as he saw his brother and sister-in-law’s joy at their forthcoming baby, and as he stood surrounded by happy families, he felt it now.