June, this year #3
I kick off my sneakers, and step over to where he’s sitting on the bed, standing directly in front of him.
Without saying a word, I ease his legs apart with my knees, stepping closer as he grabs my butt cheeks and pulls me toward him.
He presses his face in the dip between my small breasts, and lets out a sigh of what sounds like total contentment as I stroke his hair.
I run my fingernails lightly over his scalp, mussing up his dark-blond locks, and he’s entranced for a moment. Then he lifts his face toward mine, gives me that wide smile, and this time it’s my turn to lower my mouth onto his.
As he kisses me, his wide hands roam freely over my body — first my butt, with generous squeezes, then under my T-shirt and over my back, then moving them round to the front.
He pauses in kissing me to lift my T-shirt up and over my shoulders, and I take it all the way off, dropping it on the floor.
He kisses my breasts through the cotton of my turquoise bra, and my small nipples harden into aching points that he teases lightly with his teeth.
He deftly unclasps my bra with one hand, pulls back for a second to let me drop it to the floor, then swiftly takes a breast into his mouth, sucking on it and swirling his tongue around the nipple, his fingers teasing my other breast at the same time.
I think I might die.
I’m definitely in my best life.
And it was my own life, all along.
Still driving me wild with his tongue, he unzips my denim shorts and pulls both them and my lace panties off in one swift, firm move.
I’m now totally naked in front of him, while he is still fully clothed.
I stand perfectly still as I let his eyes wander up and down my body. The way he’s drinking me in tells me everything I need to know about how he feels.
He puts a hand in the small of my back, and pulls me close again, this time taking the other breast into his mouth.
The other hand, he slips between my legs, into the moisture, and I gasp with the agonizing pleasure of his touch.
He explores me with his fingers, rubbing faster and firmer in the perfect spot, his tongue and teeth still grazing my nipple, until my body buckles and I let out a muffled cry into his hair.
Ben catches me as I crumple, swinging me round and lowering me onto the bed, my butt on its edge, legs hanging off the side. I’m a limp mess, muscles quivering, my entire body a mass of nerve endings.
He gives me a lazy smile as he takes off his shirt, and steps out of his jeans and gray briefs. Finally, I get the full view of what a naked, turned-on Ben looks like. And it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Kneeling beside the bed, he wriggles his pelvis between my thighs, opening my legs so they are wide and unabashed.
He runs his thumb down my wetness and positions himself, then pushes into me with a swift thrust that has me crying out with ecstasy.
I grab a pillow from beside me to muffle my noises as he thrusts in and out, faster and faster, until I’m totally losing my mind.
We both come at the same incandescent, climactic moment, eyes locked on each other’s, and each laugh as he collapses, panting, on to my sweaty stomach.
“Holy mother of God,” he says into my belly button.
“That was incredible.” He’s still on his knees on the carpet.
With some effort, he lifts himself onto the bed, and pulls me up with him so we’re side by side on top of the covers.
We’ve made kind of a mess of the bottom of the comforter, but neither of us cares. That’s a Tomorrow Us problem.
He slides an arm under me, and I nestle into the crook of his shoulder, my naked body pressed against the side of him, skin on damp skin.
I’m overwhelmed with a million emotions, but I manage to speak, a little breathlessly. “Absolutely. Incredible. Honestly . . . the best of my life.”
He laughs softly. “I always knew it would be, with us. If it ever finally happened.”
I pull back a little to see his beautiful face. It’s lit with a smile I’ve never seen on him before. Pure joy and contentment.
“So . . . you’ve been thinking about me like that for a while, huh?” I nudge him gently in the ribs with my elbow. “When did that start? Like, from the very beginning, or . . . ?”
Ben gazes up at the ceiling, remembering.
He shakes his head slightly. “Not really . . . I mean, obviously we met and I thought you were totally gorgeous. You just are — that’s an objective fact.
So, sure, I had a bit of a crush, at least to begin with.
But you were joined at the hip with my sister, and about to start Northwestern, and making all kinds of .
. . questionable decisions. That ridiculous affair with Rufus, for one thing.
” He shudders. “And then I guess I got used to being around you just as a friend, plus I was with Amber for so long, trying to make that work.
I just stopped myself from seeing you that way, I guess.
“But then, it was that night at Howl at the Moon? I was finally single again, and we’d been spending a bunch more time together, and my crush on you had come back in a big way.
So I fully intended that night to be a date, but also didn’t want to freak you out, so I just made it seem like a casual hang.
And you walked in, so cool and chic in your office clothes, totally out of my league, and I was like, fuck, I’m so into this girl — it just hit me like a train.
But at the same time I felt like, you know, I’m her best friend’s brother, she’s just here to see the band, she’ll never see me that way.
So then I’m already backing out of what I went there to do, and then the band started and we were dancing, so I felt kinda off the hook.
But, also terrified it would be a missed opportunity.
Then you got a text from work, a crisis to deal with, and I knew it was from that married guy you had a crush on, who I was wildly jealous of. ”
Ben emits a sudden laugh at his own memory, rocking both our bodies with its ripple. “And I totally chickened out. I just threw in the towel and said whatever, go do what you gotta do. But I knew, I knew I would be way better for you. Better than any of those guys you’d been with.”
He pauses, with a slight shake of his head. “And ever since then, I’ve been torturing myself, wondering what would’ve happened if I’d asked you not to go — to stay with me. If I’d kissed you in that moment, right there in the bar.”
Ben turns his face down to mine. His warm hazel eyes flit around my features, before settling on my gaze. “What about you?” he asks. “I mean, I never told you how I felt because you’ve always seemed like you were into someone else. When did it change for you?”
I hesitate, examining the golden fleck in his left iris.
Now that he’s mine, now that I’ve come home .
. . maybe one day I’ll be able to tell him what has happened to me.
How I traveled through the multiverse of my realities, and how the journey made me realize how much I loved and wanted him.
And how it was this epiphany that brought me home to him.
It will sound utterly unbelievable, totally impossible, because of course, it is.
But I’ll find a way to make him believe me.
Just not tonight.
Tonight I just want to lie in his arms, and for us to love each other.