Chapter 24 #2
I look down at my plate and force away the image of a man who doesn’t care about my blood pressure, standing in my kitchen in his boxers. Who called himself my boyfriend for the first time. Who cooked breakfast for me without a single bad intention until I came down here and broke his heart.
Ollie looks at my plate with a scrunched nose he must have gotten from Will. “What’s that?”
“Spinach,” Jess says, digging into her plate that looks similar to mine.
“I don’t like spinach.”
“Spinach is good for you,” I tell him, forcing myself to take a bite.
“I missed your cooking,” Addie says, digging in.
“I missed cooking for you.”
“Where were you, Mommy?” Ollie asks with his mouth full.
She looks at me briefly before responding. “I was working, baby. Going to different hospitals and helping people.”
“Was it fun?”
“Parts of it.” She takes a bite, choosing her words carefully.
“I was feeling lost for a while. And I thought if I went somewhere new, I could figure out why. And I did.” Her hand finds mine on the table, resting there, while her other arm goes around Addie.
“And this is exactly where I want to be.”
The words are sweet, and I want this to feel right, but someone is missing.
“Oh!” Addie sits up, pointing her fork in my direction. “Dad, did you tell her about Uncle Will?”
“What about him?” Jess asks, her tone clipped at the mention of her estranged brother.
“He comes over all the time!” Ollie announces. “He fixed Daddy’s work, and he watches movies with us, and he’s teaching me to play poker.” That last one makes me cringe at my six year old who couldn’t read the room if his life depended on it.
“He got out last fall,” I inform her. “He’s been staying at a motel up the road. He’s been around more than we expected.”
“Dad and Uncle Will are like, actually friends now,” My daughter adds.
“Mm.” She takes a sip of her coffee, eyeing me over the rim. “Are they?”
“He’s really trying this time, Mom. You’d see it if—”
“That’s wonderful, honey.” She smiles, and I know she doesn’t mean it. She gave up on believing him long before me or her parents did. “I’m glad he’s doing better. Let’s hope he stays that way.”
The fake pleasantries last long enough for the kids to go find other things to do. Addie announcing she’s going to paint, which she hasn’t done in weeks.
But that leaves me alone with Jess in the kitchen, cleaning up after breakfast. “Were you seriously letting him around the kids?” she asks, washing a plate under the sink.
I set my empty cup down. “He’s their uncle.”
“He’s a convicted drug dealer, Nolan.”
“He made a mistake.” I try not to let myself get too fired up, but my blood runs hot at the casual dismissal of him, even though I did the same thing a few days ago, when he tried to tell me—
“He’s changed. For real this time. Give him a chance to prove that to you.”
She turns around, leaning against the sink, with a sigh. “You don’t know my brother.”
“I’ve known him for most of my life.”
“You know what he wants you to see.” She crosses her arms. “But sooner or later—”
“Or maybe he’s actually changed, and we should support him so he doesn’t feel like he has to go back to his old life.” My own words make my stomach twist. The exact opposite of what I did.
“Let’s not fight,” she says, instead of listening to my defense.
“I’m not fighting.”
“Good.” She crosses the kitchen and wraps her arms around my neck, something she hasn’t done in years, but the feel of her body against mine is familiar, in a distant sort of way. “Jess—” I start to pull back, but she doesn’t let me.
“How long are you going to stay mad at me?” she says with a pout that would have probably worked on me before, but this time, I reach up and unhook her arms, taking a step back.
“I’m not mad.”
“Then what? I’m trying here, and you’re making it harder than it needs to be.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose before I meet her eyes. “Listen, I’m glad you’re here. Genuinely. But I can’t do this.”
“Okay,” she says, with a tone that means she plans on getting her way eventually. “Okay, Nolan.”
Emmett’s place is on the other side of town.
A small, one-story brick house that’s worn down over the years.
I’ve been here enough times over the years that I know the doorbell doesn’t work, so you have to knock, and his mom works second shift on Wednesday, so he’s probably home with his little sister.
He opens the door in a hoodie and sweatpants, and his dark hair is a mess on top of his head. He doesn’t look any better than Addie, and as much as I hate to see it, it gives me hope that their friendship is still salvageable.
“What do you want?” he grumbles, a frown deeper than his usual stony face tugging at his lips.
“I was wondering if we could talk.”
He doesn’t say yes immediately, glaring at me until he sighs, yelling back to his sister. “I’m going outside for a sec! Don’t do anything to get hurt!”
A higher voice answers from inside the house, and he steps out onto the porch, leaving the door open an inch behind him. He sits down on the porch steps, looking down at his feet, and I take that as an invitation to sit beside him.
We look at the street, watching as two cars pass by and the neighbor’s dog barks. I wait for Emmett to talk first. The kid’s always been quiet, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have anything to say.
“Did Addie send you?”
“She doesn’t know I’m here.” He looks at me sideways, like he doesn’t believe me, so I continue. “I came because I wanted to. You’re like another son to me.” I give him a pat on the back. “I’d hate it if you two couldn’t work things out.”
He looks back at the dog, his jaw clenched. “She really hurt me.”
“I know she did.”
“Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to tell her how I felt? It wasn’t easy. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t think she felt the same way—” He shakes his head with a pitiful laugh. “But she rejected me hardcore. She didn’t even have to think about it.”
“I’m sure she has her reasons.”
“Well, I don’t gotta be happy about it.”
“What are you doing, Emmett?” I push back lightly. “She’s heartbroken. You’ve been her best friend since forever.”
“She made her choice.”
“I don’t think she knew her choice meant losing you.”
He doesn’t answer that, dragging his foot over the gravel sidewalk.
“I’m not here to tell you not to have your feelings about it,” I say. “You put yourself out there, and it didn’t go the way you hoped. Believe me, I understand how it feels. It hurts. But she needs you right now.”
He looks at me then, and I’m careful with my words. This isn’t his fault, and I don’t want him to think it is. “She’s been struggling. More than she’s let on to anyone.”
His brow furrows. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, she’s been carrying a lot since her mom left, and she’s been doing it alone because she didn’t want to be a burden to anyone.” I hold his gaze. “I’m not telling you this to guilt trip you into seeing her if you’re not ready. But I know you still care about her, and if you have it in you—”
“Is she okay?” he interrupts, the anger leaving his voice, replaced by the protectiveness he’s always had for Addie.
“She’s going to be,” I say. “She has an appointment tomorrow to get some help. But I think it would help even more if she had her best friend.”
He goes quiet, staring out at the road again, and I get his attention with a nudge of my elbow. “You know,” I say, “when things aren’t so complicated, and you’re not teenagers trying to figure everything out, I think she’ll come to her senses.”
He looks at his hands. “I doubt it. She made it pretty clear how she felt.”
I put my hand on his shoulder, the way I would with Addie, and he doesn’t shrug it off, so I take that as a good sign. “You’re a good kid, Emmett,” I say. “She’s lucky to have you, even when you’re both being idiots.”