Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
Luke
His mom had shown up tonight and practically shoved him out the door.
Summarily evicted him from his own house.
It was December 27, two days after Christmas, and two days after his heart cracked in half.
Unlike the last time that happened, two years ago, this time he was entirely responsible. His choice, his initiative.
So why did he feel so damn awful?
Maybe because he had shown Kylie his wet, unprotected, slobbering heart and told her he’d loved her, and instead of saying those same tender words back, she’d told him she had an interview.
In New York.
“Go be with your friends at Bilbee's.” His mom had arrived with Harriet's favorite kid's meal from a fast food place twenty minutes away, and Harriet was ignoring them both, munching on French fries as she played dolls with Jester.
“I don't want to go to Bilbee's and drink, Mom. I've got plenty of beer here.”
“Plenty of misery, too. You need to go hang out with your buddies.”
“If I go to Bilbee's, I'll just be hounded endlessly by people who are disappointed the betting pool is off.”
“Paused.”
“Excuse me?”
“It's not off. Just paused. And there's a side bet running three to one that you'll end up together.”
“This town,” he muttered. “Maybe I should just move away and have a private life.”
His mom's eyes had narrowed. “I've never heard you say that before.”
“Complain about the town? Of course you have, unless you don't listen to any of us.”
“No, Luke. Talk about moving away from Luview. Ever.”
A shrug was all he could offer.
But it spoke volumes.
“You're thinking about moving to New York to be with Kylie.”
“No.”
“Luke.” The way she drew out his name made his hackles rise. His middle name was next, wasn't it?
Suddenly, he felt like he was eleven and crashed the front picture window playing softball in the living room.
“I'm not talking about this.”
“That's right. You're going to Bilbee's and your friends can talk some sense into you.”
“My friends? Have you met my friends? Moore is the last person to give relationship advice.”
“No kidding,” his mom muttered. “I wish he and Colleen would just admit how they feel about each other and stop this friendship nonsense.”
Luke went wide-eyed, eyebrows climbing. “What? My best friend and my sister? No. Absolutely not.”
“Oh, please. As if we all can't see it. They're made for each other.”
“You are a bored pseudo-Cupid who sees love where there is none. Moore was married and divorced twice before he was thirty, and Colleen lives under a curse where she can’t get past the third date with a guy who doesn’t end up in her ER.
You think they should be in a relationship?
” Laughter, cold and hard, came out of him like a jailbreak.
“I'll accept the Cupid title, but nothing is pseudo about me. I know when two people belong together.” Hard stares from Deanna Luview were nothing new to him, but this one took the cake.
“I told you everything's over and done with Kylie.”
She snorted. “And I told you you're delusional if you think you can just shut your feelings for her off like a light switch.”
“Not up for discussion, Mom.”
“You have to talk to someone. Have you reached out to Maura?” A change in her tone, from playfully firm to wounded worry, made him jolt and stare at her.
Worried eyes met his.
“Maura Kirkendaal? Why would I reach out to her?”
“She helped you and Harriet so much after Amber died.”
“I know. Still sees Harriet for check-ins. Do you think Harriet needs her because of this mess with Kylie?”
“I think maybe you need to see Maura.”
“For what?” Flabbergasted didn’t begin to explain how he felt at this turn of the conversation.
“I remember how you were after Amber. I know how deeply you feel, Luke. You're not one for light connections to people. Kylie Hood made her way into your heart for a reason.”
“It's not that I don't love her. I do. I'm man enough to own that. We just want different things. And I don’t need a therapist to see that.”
“You need to talk about this with Kylie, then. Not fire her and leave the poor girl in shock on Christmas.”
“That's not quite how it went, Mom.”
“That's exactly how it went.”
“I drew a boundary.”
“No, kiddo. You cut her out. You’re this close to shunning her. That’s extreme.”
“I have to protect Harriet.”
“Kylie’s not a threat to Harriet. But I think you’re overreacting and can’t see it.”
“Kylie hid the truth from me.”
“Honey. She was open all along that she was job hunting.”
Then why am I not enough?
The words slammed through his head, so sharp and full, a loud shout he was sure his mom could hear.
He growled. “You know what? Your plan is working.” Walking to the closet, he snagged his coat and shoved his arms in it.
“Plan?”
“If you want to drive me out of my own house, this conversation is doing it.”
She smirked. “Then I'm right on schedule.”
Luke called out to his daughter. “Harriet!”
A half-hearted wave from his cheeseburger-drunk kid was all he got. Jester thumped his tail.
Twice.
He stormed out of the house and headed toward his Jeep, more than ready for a drink, after all.
Hand on the door, he paused, changing his mind.
A good, solid walk would help clear his head.
And make it easier to get home safely if he had more than one drink.
Crisp nights like this were less common than you'd think, as January loomed and heavy snow was on the horizon. While the cold pierced his nose and mouth every time he inhaled, it felt good. Exactly right, as it should be.
A thin wool cap in his pocket made it easier, the cold tickling the tips of his ears, but the rest of him was warm enough.
The walk past Mrs. Petrinelli's house was dicey. Never knew when the old woman would come out on her porch and want a chat.
Or to grill him for gossip.
Last thing he needed right now.
Legs moving quickly, he relished the silence, the sound of his breath against the cold winter's night more than enough company. It's not that his mom was wrong.
She wasn't.
It's that he didn't much like being told what to do.
Never had.
If she hadn't barged in tonight and taken over, he would have done exactly what he did last night: sulk in an easy chair in front of the television and try to stop stewing in his own sense of failure.
Failure to guard his heart.
Failure to protect Harriet from abandonment.
Failure to be more reasonable.
Yeah. He knew he was being unreasonable. Problem was, he didn't know how not to be. And he sure didn’t want to talk it through with the very woman who just hurt him more than she seemed to understand.
Easier to watch the classic sports channel and let Jester get away with sleeping on the couch.
As he turned the corner onto Main Street and walked past the library, he smiled. Last week, Harriet had told him all about a snowflake project, and he noticed the cute sprinkling of paper cut-outs all over the windows, some hanging like mobiles in the library's foyer.
“Mine had glitter, Daddy! Fairy snowflakes!”
He was sure Kylie was behind the glitter.
And his little girl's enormous, joyful grin.
Harriet loved Kylie.
And so did he, damn it.
Which was why this hurt so much.
Opening the door to Bilbee's was second nature, the heavy oak door bringing forth a blast of warm, yeasty air.
“Look what the cat dragged in!” Moore called out.
“More like, look who Deanna kicked out.”
The entire bar snickered as if they were one organism.
The crack came from Ollie Nolan, one of the facilities and maintenance guys who worked for the town. Big teddy bear with a few gray strands in his ZZ Top beard, and eyes that floated a little in his head, Ollie was clearly deep into his festivities for the night.
Luke made a mental note not to play darts with the guy. Didn't need puncture wounds right now.
His heart had been stabbed through enough already.
Rider Bilbee grabbed a pint glass and held it aloft, eyebrows raised. Luke nodded.
Guinness it was.
“Hey!” His sister's shout wasn't a surprise, but his reaction was.
Gratitude. Relief. Comfort.
He felt them all.
Clustered around a big eight-top table, his friends were clearly hours into hanging out, stacks of quarters next to coasters soaked by condensation. A basket of wings, half eaten, and some kind of nacho monstrosity sat in the center of the table, among other appetizers.
Good to see that they were eating some of their dinner instead of drinking it all.
The view of the table made his heart pang a little, remembering being here just last week with Kylie. While the incident with Lyle had been tricky, the time after had been an hours-long fest of good food, shooting pool, conversation, and fun.
Fun he wouldn’t have again with her.
“Hey, yourself. What's going on?”
Colleen stared at him. “We're waiting for you. Mom ordered us all to show up and hang out so she could make it seem like we're just naturally here for my heartbroken brother.”
Rider appeared, setting the pint glass before Luke.
“Man. Wish I'd thought of betting on you two breaking up. Outlier bet. Could have used that $450.”
“Shut up, Rider.”
“No problem, Luke.”
Every Luview was related to every Bilbee in town, going back to Abram Luview and Adelaide Bilbee. Being teased by a Bilbee was like being teased by any other cousin, but Luke didn't have much tolerance in him.
Maybe a little liquid acceptance was in order.
Moore whispered something to Colleen, who looked at Luke and laughed, then smacked Moore's hand as he went for the last remaining mozzarella triangle.
“What'd you do that for?” Moore barked.
“It's mine!”
“We can order more.”
And he did just that, waving the empty basket at Rider as Colleen ate her victory snack, smiling smugly at Luke.
The first sip of his beer turned into a long, slow guzzle, the warm sound of classic rock floating through the air. His butt had never liked the chairs here, which was why he normally played pool or darts, but he wasn't here to play, was he?
He was here for some kind of love intervention.