Chapter 26
Damien
My first reaction is an unequivocal and resounding no. If she wants divorce, then she can pry it from my cold dead hands. Ivy is mine and I will not let her go. She and Lake are family and we belong together. I’ve already lost her before and I am not about to lose her again.
I lean forward. “Are you sure that’s what you want?” She nods. I take comfort in how slight her head movement is, and that she has not said the words yes. “There’s more to us than Lake. We should explore that instead of jumping ship.”
She raises her eyebrows. “Really? Because the only thing that holds us together is a sex drive and I don’t think that’s enough glue for a healthy relationship.”
“There are other things.”
She crosses her arms on her chest. “Like what?”
I scratch my brain for the best way to approach this without scaring her off. The thing that holds us together is more than what most people have. She’s the only person I would want to wake up next to until the day I die. My life has felt different, fuller, and more colorful with her in it than without. But I don’t know how to say this to her without sounding like I’ve borrowed words from some ‘how to get your girl back’ book. “We’re good together,” I say.
She shakes her head. “You don’t even love me.”
And there it is. She wants the big thing. Problem is, I don’t think I can give it to her. I would be lying if I said I loved her. My feelings for her run deeper than anything I've ever experienced with another woman, yet confessing love would be dishonest since I've never felt that way. I’m not sure that kind of love exists. Familial love? Yes. I love my mother and I love Lake. But romantic? No. And that’s the problem. “There’s more to relationships than love.”
Her eyes water. Even when I try to be as delicate as possible, I fuck it up. Her voice is shaky as she says, “But I want the romance. I want someone who loves me not simply tolerates me.”
“I don’t—”
We are interrupted by a knock at the door. One of her employees wants her to fix some customer issue, and she goes, leaving me alone. Our conversation ends there and we never pick it up again, even when we get back home. She goes into her room while I go into mine. When I came back from work the next day, she had removed all of her stuff from my room.
We get back to our now usual routine of talking indirectly to each other and through Lake. It’s a polite state I will never wish on any couple. We’re too nice to each other in a frustrating way. Even this morning’s conversation, which was about Lake’s new nanny, was stilted and overly formal. As though neither she nor I want to show each other any depth of emotion. And I go along with it because I want to give her the space to think through her decision without pressuring her. She hasn’t moved out, so that’s comforting, but that is all the solace I can get from this situation. Once she moves out, our relationship is over.
I contemplate how best I can sway her away from divorce as the office elevator shoots me up to the C-suite. Is she a fan of gifts? I could shower her with all sorts of stuff. Jewels, cars, clothes, whatever she wants. But something tells me she would not like that. Not once in all the time we’ve lived together have I seen her dressed up or adorned with jewelry. She wears nice clothes, yes, but they’re mostly practical. She’s never shown an interest in cars, so I doubt that would sway her. Maybe I could buy her a boat. Would she like that? Fuck, I wish I knew, and the only person I can think of helping me in this predicament is Nolan. I haven’t talked to him much since the day of the vote. I am too invested in my thoughts to notice the anomaly outside my office door as I enter the office.
Maybe if I take her on a vacation with just the three of us, I might get an opportunity to show her my true self with no distractions. Maybe—
My door opens and both of my assistants enter. Both. Including Nicole, who I am sure I fired. She has her notepad in hand and is behaving like nothing happened. “Aren’t you supposed to be looking for a job?” Nicole’s cheeks redden and Meg’s eyes bulge. “Meg, can you please leave us?” Meg glances at Nicole, makes a quick U-turn, and closes the office door behind her.
“What the fuck are you still doing here?” I pick up the desk phone and dial the security extension. They answer after one ring. “Can you please come pick up Nicole Miller and make sure she hands in her security tag and the company gadgets?”
Nicole winces. “I thought you didn’t mean it.”
“What part of ‘I’m firing you for causing harm to my child’ did you think I didn’t mean?”
“Ugh. Are you even sure he’s yours? She could’ve lied to you. You’ve said so many times that she’s a liar.”
“You were sure enough when you poisoned him with something you knew I was allergic to.”
“It was a mistake! Please.” She rushes over to my side of the desk and clutches my hand. I am immediately oppressed by the gallon of perfume she’s poured on herself. Her grip is tight and desperate and her eyes are wide to the point of being scary. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t know what came over me. Sometimes, I do things, bad things without thinking them through.”
I wrest her hand away from mine. “Like forging my handwriting and lying to the mother of my child that I didn’t want my son.”
“I only did it because she kept pestering you. She wouldn’t stop sending letters, and sonograms begging you in such a desperate way that--”
“She sent me sonograms? What did you do with them?”
“I returned them. It was a clear manipulation tactic. She’s a master manipulator. You used to say that all the time.”
My mind reels from the information. Ivy is right. In her eyes, I must be the most unfeeling bastard she has ever known. Not only did I refuse to see her when she was pregnant, but I also refused to see our son. Fuck!
“I want you out of my life. I never want to see you again. I never want to talk to you. If you ever come within five feet of me and my family, you will regret ever living.”
“Damien please--” she takes hold of my hand again. “I love you.”
“If you did, you wouldn’t have done what you did. You took away precious time away from me and my son. Time I would never get back. You made sure someone I cherish deeply would hate me forever. That’s not love. And I’m sure you’re smart enough to know that.”
Her hand slides up my chest and she stands on her tiptoes as though she’s about to kiss me. I wrestle myself out of her grip just as the security arrives. The two bulky men immediately go to her and one instructs her to leave. She refuses. Only when they threaten to manhandle her out of the building does she budge. The two men escort her out while everyone in the C-suite is watching from the offices, but no one dares come out and ask what’s going on. Even Craig, my nosy CFO, stays in his office. Only Terry is the one brave enough to enquire.
“Surprised it took you long enough,” she says when I explain the situation. I don’t give her all the details, just the bare bones of how she was sabotaging my correspondence for years.
“You knew?”
Terry thrusts her hands in her pockets and assumes a wide stance. Her androgynous suit makes her look like a young boy in a cute way that I don’t think Terry would appreciate if I tell her. “About her hiding stuff from you? That shit I knew, fuck all. But she’s always been a little weird around you. A little clingy and overly possessive of your attention.”
I don’t think I’ve ever noticed it. If I did, I probably took her ‘weirdness’ as Terry calls it, as Nicole’s way of doing business.
“You never picked up on it, did you?” She laughs. “Craig owes me one hundred. He was sure you tolerated her because you were banging her.”
“Craig can rest easy knowing I’ve never slept with Nicole.”
“That’s another one hundred for me.”
***
“Are you ready?” I say after knocking twice on her door. I wonder what she’s wearing that is taking her so long. Not that I mind waiting. I am just wet with anticipation. When Nolan told me I would be the guest of honor at this year’s Hawthorne Charity fundraiser, I almost laughed, thinking he was joking. But he wasn’t. The company is holding their most well-known annual event and they’re honoring me as their new co-owner. Nolan didn’t sound as frosty as I thought he would. If anything, he was a little jovial. Ivy didn’t look happy. I would describe her mood as resigned. Tonight, I am going to rectify that.
I knock again and the door swings open just as I am about to rap for a fourth time. Ivy looks stunning. She has done up in a neat swirl with a few locks twisted into curls falling to her cheek. Her dress is an elegant wine-colored dress that’s tight at the top and falls into a wide gown. Her make-up is perfect, making her look like a porcelain doll. I’m afraid to touch her. My clumsy fingers might destroy such a magnificent creature.
“Anything wrong?” She straightens her dress. “It’s too much, isn’t it?”
I shake my head. “No. It’s beautiful. You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
I remember my gift and present it to her. “Thought you might want to wear this.” I open the little rectangular box and revealed the diamond necklace inside. I took a walk during lunch today and saw the necklace as I was passing by a jewelry store. The understated design attracted my attention, and I immediately went into the store and bought it. It was an expensive piece, but I don’t care about the price. What matters is if she likes it. The diamonds are shaped into elegant squares tied together with platinum gold. I lift the necklace from the case. “I thought you might want to wear this to compliment your dress.”
She gasps and then sighs. “Bribing me with jewelry?”
“Not at all.” Yes. “I thought you might like it.”
“If that’s the case, I do, but it doesn’t mean I will accept you for giving me a gift.”
I step behind her and brush away the hairs on her nape. Her neck is soft to the touch and when I clasp the necklace. It’s too tempting not to kiss, and so I do. She jumps and turns to face me. “Anything wrong?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “Thank you,” she says, clasping the necklace, her voice slightly breathless. “Shall we go?”
I nod and take her hand. She resists, but Lake walks past and beams. She relents. “You look so pretty, mom.”
“Thanks.”
“You too Dad.”
My heart skips a beat. This must be the first time he’s called me dad without first calling me uncle or stumbling on the word. My chest warms with joy that I can’t explain. A single word and I feel like he has given me the greatest gift in the world. “Thanks, Lake.”
“I wanted to go, but mom said kids are not invited.” He looks down as though he wants me to contradict his mother and tell him he can tag along. “She’s right. Not only are kids not invited, but if you go, you’d be so bored. It’s just people talking.”
“Yeah,” he scuffs his toe to the floor, eyes still cast down. “That’s what she said.”
Ivy bends down and brushes a tendril of his hair from his forehead. “I’m pretty sure Bailey knows lots of games you can play together while we’re gone.”
“Can I stay and wait for you?”
“Sorry pal, bedtime’s at nine,” I say. “And we won’t be back by then.”
Ivy and I leave him with the new nanny, and I wonder if he’s going to be distraught. He looked a little sad that he was not coming with us and wanted to go.
“He’ll be fine, don’t worry,” Ivy says to my unvoiced concerns. “Lake can be like that when he sees me going somewhere he can’t, but he will quickly forget once he starts having fun of his own.”
“You know him so well.”
“You’re not so bad of a father. He’s adjusted to you quite well and loves you a lot.”
“Thank you.”
Our conversation ends just as we approach the town car. I asked my driver to chauffer us tonight, and he’s waiting with the car door open. We arrive at the function fashionably late. I take Ivy’s hand and we walk into the venue arm-in-arm. Our entrance causes a bit of a stir. More than a few people turn their gazes towards us and I can hear a few whisperings as we walk past the guests.
“You’re drawing a lot of attention,” I say to Ivy.
She scoffs. “You’re the belle of this ball. It’s you they’re talking about.”
“There you are,” a voice behind me says. Her brother, Carey, comes to stand in front of us. Champagne flute in hand. “Someone told me you’re here. I didn’t believe them. I was sure you hadn’t arrived yet. You look stunning, by the way.”
“We’ve just got here,” Ivy replies.
He turns squarely to face. “And with the enemy,” I see.
“Carey.”
“Sorry. Old habits. I keep forgetting we’re friends now.” Carey’s mouth broadens in a wide, exaggerated smile. “Should I call you older brother now or what?”
“Damien’s fine.”
Ivy seems to sense the tension between us as she says, “And where’s Thalia? I would like to say hi to her.”
Carey’s light mood darkens somewhat. “That’s going to be difficult, my afraid.”
“Oh?”
“She didn’t come.” He downs his wine in a way that suggests he’s drinking to get drunk. Now that I’ve noticed it, I also note the slightly askew bow tie and his somewhat uneasy gait.
Ivy puts a hand on his shoulder. “Anything going on between you two you need to talk about?”
“Now you want to play family. Come on Ivy. You ran away from us. You can’t act like you care about what happens between me and my wife when you barely know her.”
"Did you two break up?" She asks. Carey simply makes a cryptic shrug and leaves us.
Ivy looks on with concern at her brother, but I am more concerned with what Carey has just said. “You ran away?”
“I don’t think it’s something I can discuss now, Damien.”
I want to probe further, but we’re interrupted again by another one of her brothers. Nolan, this time. We haven’t seen each other much ever since the day of the vote. Terry and Craig have been the ones dealing with Nolan’s people, making this meeting a little awkward.
“Hi,” I say to him.
He responds with a similar, even tone.
“What’s wrong with Carey?” Ivy asks.
“He seems a little off to you too, huh? I heard that he and Thalia might be splitting.” Nolan says.
“Divorce?”
“She’s moved out of his place and is currently staying at a hotel or her mother’s place, one of the two.”
The news doesn’t come as a surprise to me. The little I know of Thalia and Nolan’s relationship was that of a frosty partnership where they both barely tolerate one another. However, there was always an underlying heat there that I couldn’t quite figure out. The way Carey would stare at her when she was not watching was one of a man obsessed with a woman he didn’t want to be obsessed with. Maybe that’s where the frostiness came from. He hates his attraction to her. I can recognize that kind of twisted desire. It never leaves you. I know I have learned the hard way.
“I’m sure they’ll sort out whatever quarrel they’re having,” I say. “Those two don’t seem capable of staying away from each other.”
Ivy and Nolan look at me like I’ve just grown two heads. “I’m surprised the split hasn’t happened sooner,” Nolan says.
I am about to explain my theory when I hear a commotion near the entrance followed by a woman screaming, “Damien Sinclair!” The buzzy hall goes quiet as everyone’s attention turns to the source of the noise. It’s Nicole, and she looks insane.