Chapter 17 #2
“Didn’t say it was, just pointing out a fact.”
“Damn, D. If you were gonna show up with attitude, why the fuck you even come?”
“I ain’t got no attitude. I made a simple observation that it’s been a minute. You think it’s attitude when it’s simply the fuckin’ truth.”
I glanced at Tanisha, who shook her head and shrugged as she kept eating. I didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with Denise
being Denise. Had enough on my mind, especially since Courtney had barely spoken when she’d gotten back from her workout.
She’d showered, changed, then said a quick bye. I’d gotten more from Mya than my own wife.
“Anyway. At I’m feedin’ y’all. G’on head and fix you a plate. I got wings, and some sliders, and we can sit and hang out.”
“Only for a couple hours,” Nish said. “We both dancing tonight. You remember how busy it is on Black Friday.”
Shit . . . I’d forgotten what day it was. “That’s right, that’s right. All good. Nish, you good with your drink? D, what you
want?”
“Jack and Coke.” She looked around as she loaded up on the food. “Where’s Courtney?”
“Why?” I asked as I placed her drink in front of her.
She took a generous sip then smacked her lips. “Thought so. This impromptu get-together has to do with the fact that she ditched
you again.”
“Denise!”
“What? Don’t act like you weren’t thinkin’ the same damn thing, Nish.”
I waited for Tanisha to deny it, but she just quietly sipped her own beverage.
“Damn, y’all, really? I thought we were just gonna hang out and have a good time. And—”
“And what? Again, only speaking truth,” Denise said as she bit into one of the lemon pepper wings.
“You text us 911, up in your feelings again ’cuz you two had an argument.
And then you want to have time for us to get together so you can bitch about your wife.
The only time you really want to hang out. ”
I scowled at her and she returned the look while sucking down my liquor and eating the food I’d provided for them.
“Now why you lyin’ and had the nerve to say you don’t got no attitude?”
“I mean, Denise’s delivery could have used a little finesse,” Tanisha chimed in. “But she’s not completely wrong.”
Denise smacked the table. “Thank you!”
I sat back in my chair, crossed my arms, and let my attention shift between the two of them. “Y’all for real right now?”
Tanisha looked at Denise, who was busy eating, then heaved a sigh. “Look, we’re here, right? You needed us, and we managed
to make it over for you. But . . . sometimes things be feelin’ a little one-sided with you is all.”
“’Xactly.”
One-sided? I wanted to call Nish out because when she’d needed me when things went south with her ex I’d been there, but I held my tongue,
because that’s what friends did. Or so I’d thought.
“Well, damn. If I treat y’all so badly, why y’all show up?”
Denise held up her glass. “You pay.”
“Denise!” Tanisha scolded.
“What? I mean, Nish, maybe it’s different for you. But, shidd, why not have some quid pro quo.”
I took a sip of my sweet tea. “Damn! It’s like that?”
All Denise did was shrug as she continued to enjoy her food and drink.
Selfish . . . a word that had been used to describe me plenty.
But I didn’t expect that from my friends.
Yeah, they’d both made a few comments over the last couple of weeks since I’d been with Courtney more, but I didn’t only hang out with them when things were on the fritz.
This was all too much at once. I shot a look over at Tanisha.
“I can afford my own. Always have. Always will. But . . . I get what D is sayin’. However,-” she continued quickly before
I could interrupt her, “I come because I genuinely think you could use some guidance. You’re only twenty-five. There is still
room for growth. Now, whether you be in the mood to hear what I got to say, that’s a different story.”
She gave me a pointed look and I knew what she meant. Most times I thought she was always trying to play Switzerland instead
of just being Team Sasha like Denise usually was, and I wasn’t trying to hear that. “You g’on let her gas you right on up out of a relationship.” The comment Nish had made the night at the club hit me.
Having someone feed into my frustration had felt good at the time, but knowing Courtney was still bothered by how everything
went down after the championship . . . more than bothered. She’d left me over it, and was still deeply hurt by my actions,
or lack thereof.
“Fine. Whatever, y’all here, so . . .” I drank more of my tea, but needed something stronger. With Courtney’s comment lingering
in the back of my mind I was trying not to drink, even though one of the main reasons I’d invited them over as opposed to
going out was so I wouldn’t have to worry about driving.
Not drinking flew out the window when faced with the knowledge that currently the only person in my life who didn’t think
I was selfish was my sister-in-law—and Big Mama, but she didn’t count since she always saw the best in me. This was all on
top of learning the real reason my wife never finished the conversation about having children was because she thought I was
too irresponsible to be a mom. That shit hurt.
“Yeah, we are here. What was the 911 about?” Denise asked, cleaning her hands, not the least bit ashamed to admit she saw our “friendship” as something transactional.
I took a long pull of my drink. They were here, had come despite whatever they thought about me. “Do y’all think I’d be a
good mother?”
“You want kids?” Denise asked.
“Why you sound so shocked?”
“’Cuz you ain’t never mentioned domestic life, at least not when it came to kids.”
Again, I shot a look at Tanisha, knowing she was there at dinner when Courtney and I had the disagreement. I lifted a shoulder.
“I don’t tell y’all all my business. But yeah, it’s been somethin’ Court and I have been in talks about, but we have differin’
views on when we should take that step.” That might have been the CliffsNotes version, but it got the point across.
“Uh . . . that . . . sounds—”
“Like you leavin’ some ish out,” Denise finished for Tanisha.
I twirled my glass, causing a mini tornado of brown liquid and ice. “Okay, and I may or may not have said somethin’ at Thanksgivin’
about visitin’ a fertility clinic. She got pissed off, and we had a big fight, and she basically said I’d be a bad mom. Can
you believe that shit?”
They both frowned as they stared at me. It was Denise that spoke first. “Um . . . girl, you drinkin’ while pregnant?”
“What? No! The fuck you ask me that for?”
“’Cuz you said you went to a fertility clinic.”
I rolled my eyes. “For information.”
“How the hell was I supposed to know that? You know yo ass be impulsive sometimes,” she retorted with a shrug.
“Focus. Did you miss the part where I said she called me a bad mom?”
“You went without discussing it with her?” Tanisha asked.
The way she frowned, scrunching her face up as if she’d tasted something foul when she asked the question, put my defenses up. Just like Courtney’s reaction had.
“Um . . . she ain’t around half the time—”
Tanisha leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. “Don’t matter,” she said, cutting me off. “That’s not some shit you
do without talkin’ to your partner, Sasha. Kids are a major thing, and since it’s not like y’all can just have an oops, that’s
some deliberate shit if y’all not on the same page.”
“Nish ain’t wrong.”
I sank down in my chair, wanting to defend myself, but Courtney’s words taunted me. “It’s like cheating on me . . .” I thought her saying that was extreme, but clearly my girls seemed to be on her side.
I blew out a loud sigh. “Whatever, it don’t even matter ’cuz I didn’t do nothin’. And y’all so quick to defend Court, ignorin’