Chapter 17 #3
she basically admitted she don’t want kids with me no way ’cuz she thinks I’ll be a bad mom.”
Nish put her hand up. “Whoa, what you mean you ain’t do nothing? You just said—”
I rolled my eyes and huffed. “I know what I said. But hear what I’m sayin’.”
I told them about Thanksgiving dinner and how my parents were on one, although subtly to begin with. That changed when Dad
tried to go in on Courtney about how much she traveled for work and she took offense because it was really none of his business.
However, Courtney didn’t fully understand the dynamics of Southern Black elders, so to keep things from going completely off
the rails, I’d switched the track.
Both of them simply stared at me with dumbfounded looks on their faces. Denise started shaking her head. “Bitch, what? So,
did you go look for a daddy in a tube or not?”
“Only on my good friend Google.”
“So, you and Courtney had a whole-ass fight over you going to a fertility clinic behind her back when you didn’t even go?” Tanisha asked, with her frown deepening. “What the actual fuck, Sasha? When you saw she was upset, why not just tell her what you just told us?”
“Because her reaction pissed me the fuck off, that’s why. I wasn’t tellin’ her shit.”
Again, they looked at me like I’d grown two heads. Courtney wanted someone who would be ride or die for her, and that’s what
I’d done. Or tried to do.
“Well, girl, considering your wife ain’t here . . .” Denise just looked at me without finishing her statement.
And she didn’t need to because, just like Courtney had said, sometimes dealing with me was like digging a hole with the tide
coming in, I couldn’t stop even when I probably knew I needed to.
“Yeah, she left, just like last time. She was on some shit about being unappreciated and decided to drive Mya back to school
instead of droppin’ her at the airport.”
“Last time? You mean after she got back from Arizona?” Tanisha asked. “Did you ever apologize for that?”
Damn, they weren’t letting up for nothing. “Why? You sound like her. I asked y’all here for me, and y’all dick ridin’ for
her.”
“Ain’t nobody dick riding,” Nish said. “This why I say you don’t be trying to hear what you don’t wanna hear.”
“Wait,” Denise said. “You tellin’ me you still ain’t tell that woman congrats? Hell, we don’t even really get along and I
did that much and you—”
“She didn’t want me there, so what difference does it make? Especially now. Besides, after she got hurt, I was nice. I’ve
been takin’ care of her, doin’ things, I cooked her breakfast. I even gave her a dance. We’ve moved on.”
“Are you being serious right now? The biggest moment in her career and you didn’t bother to acknowledge it. And you honestly think she just moved on and was okay? Ain’t no damn way you really think that!” Tanisha said, every bit of the astonishment and disapproval of her words showing on her face.
Her statement hit me hard because my words rang hollow in my own ears knowing that Courtney had in fact not moved on. She
wasn’t holding a grudge, but she was holding on to the hurt and disappointment that I’d caused her.
“A dance? A dance? Bitch . . . I know you lyin’.” Denise shook her head, a look of disgust on her face. “You said that woman was feelin’ unappreciated
and your solution was to shake some ass?”
From the moment she’d arrived, Denise’s attitude had rubbed me the wrong way and I was about damn over it. “Yes, a dance.
The fuck. She likes me shakin’ my ass, it is what got me this,” I snapped, tapping on my wedding ring. “Besides, you don’t
even like Courtney. Why are you goin’ so hard for her?”
“You right, I had issues with Courtney, but I’m learnin’ it’s not her, it’s you! From the moment y’all got together you turned
into ‘my woman, my woman, my woman’ and throwin’ everything else to the damn curb like I said earlier. And truthfully, women
like you, who make they partner they whole damn personality, work my nerves. That aside, Courtney gets you any gotdamn thing
you want and all yo ass ever does is fuckin’ complain. I see why she say she don’t feel appreciated.”
I was stunned into silence. The food and liquor turned sour in my stomach.
I shifted my gaze over to Tanisha, who for once wasn’t trying to soften Denise, or attempting to put things in a better light.
All I did was complain? That was bullshit.
Sure, I vented every once in a while, but that’s why you had friends, so you could get shit off your chest when you were annoyed.
Didn’t know it would be held against me.
I stood and walked over to the island to pour myself another drink. “Didn’t y’all say you had work?”
They both gathered their bags. Denise walked out first with as much attitude as when she’d arrived.
Tanisha started to leave, then stopped. “You probably not in the mood to hear this, but relationships are about compromise.
Give and take. You might want to evaluate how much takin’ you do in comparison to the givin’, because look around, Sasha.
I’m sure Courtney has her faults, but overall, you seem to have it pretty good. More than most. Just . . . think about that.”