Chapter 18 #3
mean, we picked up on some tension between y’all, but . . . damn.”
“Yeah, that was because she was pissed because I was ‘being cheap’ by not flying her out for the game. Which I did regret,
but didn’t matter. She upped her attitude by not sayin’ shit and shopping.”
“Whoa,” Doc said.
“I’m sorry for dumping all this on y’all. I’ve been trying to push through, you know. Play through the pain, but . . .”
“Nah, it’s all good. Clearly, this shit has been on your mind, and you shouldn’t be bottling up everything.” My friend looked
at me with sympathy and I kinda hated the pity.
I hated opening up, even though she was right, I was drowning.
I was a fixer. I solved the problems that were laid out before me.
It was what I did, and I just had no fucking clue how to solve this one.
Because every time I thought about how to make it better, I always ended up with us going our separate ways.
And part of me was like maybe I should just lean into that.
But the other part of me wasn’t quite ready to give up.
I truly believed there was something between us that was worth fighting for.
I just needed to figure out how to get us back to what pulled us together in the beginning.
I settled back, taking a long sip from my fresh drink. “After this—” I held up my casted arm “—I thought we could just thug
it out. I was going a little stir-crazy, but according to my sister, that’s because I don’t know how to sit my ass down.”
I let out a dry laugh.
Shae shrugged. “I mean . . .”
“Whatever, heffa.”
“So, I have a question,” Doc said.
“Shoot.”
She shifted to lay her legs in Shae’s lap. “I’ve picked up a little here and there, y’all got together quickly and whatnot,
but how quick is quickly?”
“Oh, um . . . two, two and a half months.”
“Before y’all got married?”
I tilted my head at the high pitch of her voice. “That sounds like judgment, Doc.”
She laughed and shook her head, holding her hands up. “Not at all. For an overthinker, more like shock. I promise.”
“All good,” I chuckled. “But honestly, it probably was too quick. But things were good . . . great. No fights, we just seemed
to click. It was nice. Easy. All the things were aligned for me. So, after a big win in Vegas, as in ‘our first time ever
beating them on their court’ big win, I rounded up the girls and we hit one of the chapels.”
Shae laughed. “I remember that night. You knocking on my door at, damn, almost two in the morning, talking about come be a
witness. Thought you were out of your mind, but drug my ass out of bed and went anyway.”
I smiled at the memory. Sasha initially wasn’t even supposed to be on that trip.
I’d been prepared to fly her out as I’d done for other games, but she’d said she had work and couldn’t get off.
I’d been disappointed, but had also respected she had a job and couldn’t drop everything for me.
Next thing I knew, I got a text with a picture of the hotel lobby. She’d shown up and surprised me.
Her being there, showing up after saying she couldn’t. Her making time, making me a priority, it shifted something in me that
night.
“Oh . . . so real impulsive.”
“Again, sounding like judgment, Doc.”
“No, no, it’s not, I promise. Again, overthinker.”
I shrugged, not really annoyed because she wasn’t far off, it was 100 percent impulsive on my part. And it’s been growing
pains ever since. “I’ve been thinking, and thinking, and thinking, but . . . but I think I need your brand of overthinking.”
“What does that mean?”
I rolled the half-empty bottle between my palms and shot a quick glance to my friend before returning my attention to Doc.
“That, um, checklist you and Shae did.”
She sat up right. “You know about that?” She shot an accusatory look toward Shae.
“Yeah, on the way to Seattle on the plane, Shae was going over it. Anyway, with everything, during the drive, one thing kept
repeating in my head. There was a disconnect somewhere between me and Sasha and I’m thinking part of it has to do with our
quickness.”
Doc nodded. “I mean, I can see that if you were just goin’ on vibes and emotion. And that’s not judgment,” she rushed to add.
Shae shrugged. “Ion know, I like vibes.” She winked at Doc, who just rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Seriously, though, before Dijah I didn’t put much thought into where could this go. And while I thought that checklist was . . . a lot, it has been good. So, maybe it could help.”
Doc grabbed her cell phone off the coffee table. “What my beautiful girlfriend meant to say is that I’m thorough.” She scrolled
and tapped for a few moments before my own phone chimed, indicating a new message. “But look it over, pick out what works
for y’all and hopefully it’ll be a conversation starter. And hopefully everything will work out how you want it to.”
“Thanks.” I opened the message, my eyes widening as I looked over what I’d been sent. I could see what Shae meant by a lot,
but as I scanned some of the topics listed, maybe a lot was what I needed.