Chapter 18 #2
to cook on Thanksgiving, and I’d hear bits and pieces of phone calls about “beating her face” and how they both laughed at
me when I took that the whole wrong way the first time I’d heard the term. The comment I’d made about Sasha giving our hypothetical
baby a mimosa had been out of line, because while Sasha did have her faults, she had a lot of love to give, and I suspected
she’d probably be a wonderful mother.
“So, what brought you by?” Doc asked as she returned, taking a seat next to Shae and making zero move to retrieve her nephew.
Had Sasha said something to them? Was this some sort of immersion therapy?
I eased back on the sofa, trying not to jostle Peanut too much as he’d started to nod off. “Oh, um, I just got back from dropping
Mya off at school.”
“You mean dropping her off at the airport?” Shae asked.
“Nope.”
Shae leaned forward, resting her forearms on her knees. “You drove her back to Tallahassee?” Her inflection went up at the
end of the last word, a clear indication of her shock. It was no surprise given how much I’d bitched about the drive the first
time I had to drop off Mya.
I readjusted again, noticing Peanut was fast asleep. “Should I put him down?”
“Here, I’ll take him,” Doc said, moving to scoop him from my arms.
I flexed my fingers at the emptiness before answering. “Yes, I drove her.”
“Oh shit. That bad?”
I nodded.
“Um . . . one of y’all want to clue me in? What’s bad?”
Shae gave her a quick rundown, complete with terrible, overly dramatic impersonations of me detailing all the reasons it had
been a terrible road trip.
“I was not that bad, Doc.”
“Ha. Yeah, you were.”
I flipped her off, which only made her cackle harder. “Anyway, I needed some time to . . . think, so the drive it was.”
“What happened?” Doc asked, reaching over to briefly squeeze my leg.
I sighed and wiped my hands on my thighs. “Sasha and I got into it again at Thanksgiving, and I just had all these frustrations
I’ve bottled up and tried to avoid by not engaging with her. But . . .” I let out another heavy sigh. “But . . . she said
some things, I said some things, and well, I just needed away.” I scrubbed my hands down my face and dropped my head on the
back of the couch. “Fuck!”
“Language,” Doc scolded.
“Sorry?” I said with a slight frown.
“He’s four months, he don’t know what she’s saying. And he’s asleep,” Shae said. She tilted her head and gestured at Doc,
who was curled up with Peanut sleeping peacefully on her chest. “You’re supposed to put him down, because I distinctly remember
Jah saying, ‘Don’t hold him while he’s sleeping.’”
Doc narrowed her eyes at my friend. “Since when do you follow directions?”
“I follow directions all the damn time.”
“No, you like to use rules as guidelines.” She shrugged as she smoothed down his dark hair. “I’m doing the same thing.”
Shae laughed and shook her head. “Uh-huh, well, when she calls again, fussing because little man don’t wanna sleep without being held after hanging out with his auntie, don’t expect me to cover for you.”
“That is rude and bad girlfriend behavior.”
I laughed quietly to myself listening to the two of them go back and forth. It was warming to see the way my friends interacted
with each other, just to see how their banter went and how easily they could tease each other but still have real discussions
about their differing opinions. Something that I was realizing was a fundamental issue between me and Sasha.
“I’m an excellent girlfriend, and you know it,” Shae said with a wink as she pushed to standing. With a little protest from
Doc, Shae carefully gathered up Peanut, shushing him quietly when he whined a bit, then gently placed him in the travel bassinet
that sat in front of the fireplace.
Instead of returning to her seat, Shae strolled into the kitchen and over to the fridge. I heard the clink of bottles before
she shut the door with three beers in her hand. She popped the tops then distributed one to each of us when she returned.
“I have a feeling whatever went down, you’re gonna need something to calm you.”
“Yeah, sorry we got sidetracked.”
I waved them off before taking a pull of the amber liquid, swallowing down the coldness without tasting any of the flavor.
“Is this a continuation of whatever had you staying at Tina’s house before?” Shae asked.
I nodded. “Pretty much. It’s been a bunch of little things that have kept building up. And then . . .” I took another drink.
“And then at Thanksgiving dinner she dropped the bomb she’d been to a fertility clinic behind my back.”
“Wait, she’s pregnant?” Doc asked.
“No, she better not be. She said she just went to get information and to start the testing, or whatever. But again, she did that shit behind my back. And I just . . . just blew up at her. It was bad, but kids are a big decision.”
“And it’s not like y’all can have an oops, so her doing that was very . . . deliberate,” Doc said in a soft voice.
I drained the rest of my bottle.
“You want another?” Shae asked.
“Yeah.” I blew out a breath. “Anyway, I basically said the same thing, that she was doing shit behind my back which had me
feeling like I can’t trust her on top of being real fucking unappreciated, especially after . . . she never congratulated
me. For our win. She didn’t say shit to me.” I hadn’t told them before, but the hurt, and disappointment, and frustration
of it all was eating away at me.
“The fuck?” Shae said, handing me a new beer. “She was being all buddy-buddy with the rest of the team when we got back. I