Chapter Four #3
He counted to ten slowly as he waited for her to finish that sentence. When he got to ten and she just sat there, looking at him as though she’d made herself perfectly clear, he demanded, “Kenzie. If we end up in bed together, what?”
She frowned. “Maybe you’re not even interested in getting intimate with me right now—I mean, in my condition…”
“Kenzie, I am interested. Very, very interested.”
“Oh.” Bright flags of color stained her soft cheeks. “Well, good.” A nervous laugh escaped her. She gestured down at her round belly. “So this wouldn’t be a problem for you?”
“Nope. Not a problem. What else?”
She made a thoughtful sound. “We would both have to be sure not to get any ideas that it’s more than it is.”
That didn’t sound so good. “You’re going to need to clarify that for me.”
“I’m saying that if we do end up being lovers, we would, of course, enjoy it for as long as it lasts. But it couldn’t last all that long.”
“Why is that?”
“It would have to be over by the time my baby’s born.”
He took a minute to digest that bit of information. “And then what?”
“And then we try our best to remain friends, however it all works out.”
Well, that certainly sounded like a disaster waiting to happen. Supposedly, people enjoyed friends-with-benefits arrangements all the time. But how often did they stop with the benefits and still remain friends?
He didn’t really want to see the stats on that particular outcome.
She must have read his thoughts by the look on his face because she pinned him with a scowl. “You think it’s a bad idea, don’t you?”
He hedged. “I didn’t say that.”
“But you’re thinking it, aren’t you?”
“No.” It was only half a lie. Yeah, becoming lovers again could easily turn out to be a very bad idea. But any chance with Kenzie was better than no chance at all.
“Then what are you thinking, Finn?”
“I’m thinking, who knows how either of us will feel about things later? As for right now, though, I am thinking yes! Spending more time with you works for me in a big, big way.”
“You mean that?” Her eyes were gleaming now.
“A hundred percent,” he confirmed. “We’ll see where it goes and we’ll keep it honest.”
She gave a little cough and added almost sternly, “And we both understand that a ring and a walk down the aisle will not be happening.”
They did? Who knew what would happen? He sure didn’t. And he would very much prefer to leave things open-ended, see where this little agreement of theirs took them.
But he didn’t want to say that. If he did, she just might show him the door in a permanent way.
That couldn’t be allowed to happen. Because wherever this was going between them, he intended to see it through.
Tonight, for the first time in years, Finn knew exactly what he wanted from Kenzie. And what he wanted was more than she offered him now—more than he deserved, too, if he was honest.
He believed her when she said she would never get married again, that she and her baby would be a family, just the two of them.
Of course, he believed her. Love hadn’t been kind to her. She had no reason to put her trust in a man.
She’d found love twice. Both times, she’d ended up broken-hearted. First, Finn himself had walked away from her, and he’d done it right after they’d lost a child. And then she’d married a guy who lied to her, cheated on her and finally walked out on her, too.
However, tonight, as they sat here on her sofa talking so honestly about the past, about his father’s cruelty, about how winning wasn’t everything and sometimes what looked like a loss turned out to be the finest sort of victory…
Tonight, right here in her living room, Finn had finally seen the light.
He wanted Kenzie. However he might have her. For as long as it might last.
What she offered him now was so much better than nothing. Whether she knew it or not, her plan gave him hope for a second chance.
“Alright, then,” he said. “Let’s spend more time together, see where that takes us.”
She looked at him sideways. “Are you sure about this?”
“You bet I am. What are you doing tomorrow? Come out to my place for dinner.”
Those eyes were more green than blue right then…and very wide. “Tomorrow?” Now, she looked terrified.
Apparently, it was all fine and dandy to dance around the subject of becoming more than friends. But actually moving in that direction scared her. A lot.
He wanted to grab her, pull her close and whisper that she didn’t have to be afraid, that he was all grown up now and he would do this right. But that might alarm her all the more. Better to keep it light and easy.
“No time like the present,” he replied cheerfully. “After all, if we did become lovers, I’m guessing you would expect it to be over when the baby comes.”
“Hmm.” She frowned. “Probably several weeks before the baby’s due, depending.”
“Depending on what, exactly?”
She gave him one of those looks women often give men, a look of great patience mixed with barely masked annoyance. “Finn. Please. There are any number of reasons why a very pregnant woman might not be available for hot, sexy times. You don’t really expect me to list them for you, do you?”
“Uh…”
“Be very careful about what you say next,” she advised.
He thought he saw a spark of humor in those fine eyes. But he wasn’t about to put his observation to the test. “Well, tell me this, then, Kenz. How far along are you right now?”
“Tomorrow, I’ll be at twenty-six weeks.”
“Then realistically, if we do end up enjoying…benefits, we don’t have that much time. We need to get moving on it.”
She gave him that look, the one that said he was skating on very thin ice. “Get moving? Really?”
“Yeah. Really. If we don’t, then whatever might happen won’t happen because it will be too late before we even get started.”
For a second or two, she just stared at him blankly…and then she burst out laughing. “You’re just messing with me.”
He put a hand to his heart. “Never. If I do have a chance with you I’m going to want all the time I can get. Can you blame me for that?”
She didn’t answer immediately. Then she groaned. “Finn, you are impossible.”
“Come on. Just work with me here. Dinner. My place. Six tomorrow night.” She was shaking her head. For a moment, he felt certain that she would shut him down.
But then she grumbled, “Fine. Six.”
He took great care not to look as triumphant as he felt.