Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
RACHEL
I wasn’t sure why Mojave showed up in the middle of the night.
I was a light sleeper, years of being woken up in the middle of the night to a phone call regarding a case trained me to sleep lightly so I’d wake up fast, so I heard him when he pulled his bike into my driveway.
He looked shaken when I invited him inside, his eyes darting around like he couldn’t settle on his own and was anxious about something.
I wanted to ask questions, I had at least a dozen, but I could tell now wasn’t the time. I got the feeling if I pushed right now, he’d bolt. I didn't want him to do that. He’d come here for a reason. If being here helped, I wanted him to stay put.
When his breathing steadied and his shoulders came down, I released his face.
His brow furrowed and he leaned into me a little harder, like it pained him to let go.
I tried not to smile, he wasn’t being sweet on purpose, and took his hands instead, pulling him toward my room.
He came willingly, his expression drained.
The poor man looked exhausted and it was already late.
I’d help him get some rest first and ask questions tomorrow.
Urging him to sit on the bed, I told him, “It’s late. Let’s get some sleep.”
He shook his head slowly, almost reluctantly, like he didn’t actually want to say no, but did so anyway out of obligation. “I’ve been sweating. I shouldn’t–”
It was nice that he cared enough to argue, but I didn't want him skipping out on sleep either. It’d likely make things worse, not better.
“Do you want to take a shower first?” I offered. “I have some old clothes you can use for pjs.”
I was not going to mention that those clothes used to belong to Scott. He’d left them here because he was too lazy to toss them or take them with him, and I hadn’t gotten around to donating them yet. I got the feeling Mojave would say no if he knew.
He glanced toward the hallway and the bathroom we’d passed along the way, the conflicted emotions on his face making my chest ache for him.
Whatever had happened, he obviously wasn’t taking it well.
It seemed like he didn’t want to be alone.
So, despite us only having ever shared a couple kisses, I offered something I never thought would come out of my mouth. “Do you want me to join you?”
When he eventually nodded, I led him to the bathroom, still holding his hands because he didn't seem willing to let go. He only did once we were shut inside the bathroom and I had to let go to turn the water on and pull clean towels out of the linen closet near the door.
His movements were sluggish as he pulled off his clothes, his gaze a little distant like he wasn’t fully present in what he was doing. I eventually moved to help him because I hated to see him struggle, pulling the shirt up and over his head and kneeling to help take off his boots and socks.
I left him to take off his pants and boxers, feeling a little nervous as I pulled my clothes over my head.
I wasn’t thin with a flat stomach like some other women.
Scott loved to point it out whenever we were undressed around each other.
I tried not to let his comments get to me, I wasn’t interested in being stick thin and I was healthy according to my doctor, but I couldn’t stop the blush in my cheeks or the way I avoided Mojave’s gaze as I stepped into the shower and pulled him with me.
Whether he didn't notice my discomfort or chose not to draw attention to it, he didn’t say anything.
He just wrapped himself around me like he had before, resting his forehead against my shoulder and letting out a long sigh when I hugged him back.
The warm water hit us both with him wrapped so tightly around me, but he didn’t seem bothered by it. He just clung to me and breathed.
Since I knew my hot water would only last so long, after a few moments, I grabbed the body wash and the wash cloth I’d set next to it when I started the shower. Mojave hummed as I ran the cloth over his skin, unmoving until I had to nudge him away to get his chest.
When there was finally enough space between us that I could see his face, I noticed his eyes were locked on me, and looked clearer than they were before. It seemed like the warm water was helping.
“Hey, you,” I murmured with a smile, running the cloth over his shoulder and down his arm.
A ghost of a smile tugged at his lips before he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine again. “Hey.”
He let me guide him backward long enough to rinse his hair, and I let him handle washing his lower half on his own.
I hadn’t actually expected him to reciprocate, I figured he was too out of it, but while I was scrubbing shampoo into his hair, I felt the cloth run down the skin of my back and over my hip.
Embarrassment burned in my cheeks all over again. I did my best to focus on Mojave’s hair, but when the cloth ran over my stomach, I grimaced automatically. It was apparently enough that Mojave noticed it. He lifted his head, studying me in that intense way that always made me breathless.
“You’re embarrassed?”
It sounded like a question, like he didn’t understand why I’d feel that way.
Having to explain it only embarrassed me further and I had to look away as I admitted, “I’m not…
conventionally attractive. I know that. I just…
don’t like drawing attention to it. For the most part, if I’m naked with someone, I keep the lights off. ”
His brow furrowed even deeper, so deep it looked carved into his face. Dark brown eyes lifted to lock with mine, his tone a little dumbfounded as he said, “You’re gorgeous,” like it was supposed to be obvious.
I forced a smile and shook my head. “I’m not, and that’s okay. I don’t need to be to do my job well and I’m healthy, so that’s all that matters. Tip your head back, I need to rinse–”
“Rachel,” he cut me off, stepping closer to eliminate the space between us again.
He cupped my face a lot like I had before, keeping my attention on him as he leveled me with a serious expression.
“You’re perfect. I thought you were the first time I saw you.
Every damn day when you show up at that school to pick up Frankie, you take my breath away.
Whoever made you think any differently was fucking blind. ”
My breath stuttered as I stared up at him.
There wasn’t a hint of dishonesty in his eyes.
He believed everything he said. My whole life, I’d always been told I could stand to lose weight, I wasn’t as pretty as I could be, and maybe if I tried harder, I could look like all the other girls in school.
My own mother commented on my wedding day that if I’d only lost a little more weight, it would’ve been perfect.
And yet this man who’d barely known me for a few weeks said I was perfect.
Without sexy outfits or make up contouring or even a good night’s rest, he thought I was perfect.
And he said it so earnestly it was hard to argue.
With my hands already tangled in his hair, I lifted onto my toes to kiss him.
He pulled me closer, eliminating the space between us and kissed me back, sipping at my lips like he wanted to savor the moment and not rush, despite the both of us being completely naked.
It left me breathless and aching for more.
It was only the reminder that Mojave had a rough night that made me pull away.
I’d never felt more wanted before in my life.
The way this man treated me, like I was something precious and perfect, was dizzying.
This time, when I pulled away, he chased me, tightening his grip to keep me pressed against him as he snagged my mouth in another kiss. It made me laugh and I had to cup his cheeks to stop him long enough for me to speak.
“You’ve had a rough night, Mojave. Let’s revisit this tomorrow. I get the feeling Frankie isn’t a late riser, and we’ll need energy to keep up with her.”
His expression turned thoughtful. “What time do kids normally wake up?”
“Depends on the kid,” I answered honestly. “Most kids her age usually wake up around seven, though. What time did she wake up this morning?”
He shook his head slowly. “No clue. I hadn’t thought she was awake when I got up because the place was quiet, but when I went to check on her, she was playing quietly with a few of the origami figures she made the night before.”
Unfortunately, that was likely learned behavior.
If Frankie got berated for waking her parents, she likely learned young to stay silent until she could slip out the door and head to school.
It made more sense why she was so quiet when we first met and why she was so chatty now.
She needed to learn she was safe to be a kid first before letting her personality shine.
Knowing if I mentioned that it would only upset Mojave, I nudged him to get him moving. “We’ll assume for now she’ll wake up early. Which means sleep is a necessity. Come on. Let’s get out before the water goes cold.”
He accepted the redirection easily enough, though he did hover and stick close.
Luckily, he didn’t ask where the plain grey sweatpants came from, and he said he didn’t need a shirt to sleep.
We climbed into bed together and I shut off the lights, getting comfortable so I could get some more sleep and have enough energy for my littlest night guest in the morning.
Exactly like Frankie had when we were watching a movie, I felt Mojave shift closer, like he wanted to be close enough to cuddle but didn’t want to assume he was allowed.
I smiled to myself in the dark. Those two really were two peas in a pod.
I reached behind me to take his hand, pulling him closer until he was flush against my back and I felt him let out a breath of relief.
If I wasn’t careful, I’d get spoiled with all the cuddles I’d gotten today.
I didn’t want to let myself get my hopes up that it’d last. All my time with the kids I worked with was fleeting, and Mojave wouldn’t have a reason to stick around once Frankie was finally getting the care she deserved.
I wanted to enjoy what I had in the moment because I knew better than to think it’d last.