CHAPTER 26
Gabrielle
I feel exceptionally well this morning. Meeting with Dilvan last night made me realize how much I don’t miss him – how much I couldn’t care less about him and how grateful I am to be living here with Tyson.
I had intended on telling Tyson that I’d met with Dilvan last night, but I was so mentally exhausted, I just wanted to go to bed and sleep off the dread I felt being in Dilvan’s presence.
Crap!
I love spending time running with him in the mornings. I could beat myself up for not setting my alarm. I hate myself right now.
When I make it downstairs, I see Tyson sitting on the couch sipping coffee, atypical for him.
He’s usually in the kitchen, perched on a barstool with his laptop in front of him or busy cooking something.
Today, he’s comfortable in the living room and he looks troubled, the same way he looked last night as if something was bothering him.
“Good morning, Tyson.”
“Good morning.”
“Did you go jogging this morning?” I ask, standing at the bottom of the staircase.
“Yeah, I did.”
“I forgot to set my alarm.”
“That’s a first.”
“I know. I’m sorry. My mind was somewhere else last night. I–”
“It’s cool. Don’t stress yourself over it. I’m kinda glad I went alone because it gave me time to think.” He takes a sip of coffee and sets his mug on the table. “Where were you last night, Gabrielle?”
I walk around the coffee table and sit on the couch with just enough space separating us to have a decent conversation. “That’s what I meant to tell you last night. I met with Dilvan last night.”
“You mean you had dinner with Dilvan last night.”
I shake my head. “No. Dilvan wanted to talk to me, and I met him at a restaurant. I didn’t eat with him. I just wanted to hear what he had to say.”
“Why?”
“Because I just did. Are you upset about it?”
“I think I’m more upset that you didn’t tell me.”
“Tyson, you told me I needed to talk to him.”
“I did, and I also told you I would come with you in case Dilvan tried to hurt you.”
“I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me.”
Tyson stood up and asked, “How do you know that? How could you even think that after everything he did to you? Now, what? All of a sudden, you trust him.”
“No, Tyson. I don’t trust him. I just went to see what he had to say.”
“And what was that? That he loves you. That he’s sorry, and he hopes you’ll go back to his torture chamber so you two can live happily ever after?”
I close my eyes and shake my head when I realize just how upset he really is. I’ve never seen him this way before.
He continues, “You still love him, don’t you?”
“No.”
“That’s why you didn’t tell me you were going to meet him. You love him.”
“I don’t.”
“Well, I think you do, and who am I to stand in the way of you and your relationship?”
“Tyson...”
He places a brown envelope on the table and says, “I took the liberty of finding you an apartment. I paid the lease up for a year.”
“Tyson—”
“I’m not going to stand in your way, Gabrielle. This arrangement with us was only supposed to be temporary, anyway, right?”
“Yes, but–”
“Heshan is going to come over here to help you move your things.”
I don’t believe what I’m hearing. What happened to the rational Tyson? The one who let me get a word in? The one who enjoyed spending time with me? Now, he’s ready for me to vacate the premises.
“Tyson, why are you doing this?”
“Because you need this, Gabrielle. I’m on my way to Padma’s restaurant,” he says, opening the door. “Good luck with everything.”
He closes the door behind him, and I’m standing here in shock, wondering what just happened. I offended him by agreeing to meet with Dilvan, that much is obvious, but I didn’t think he would take such drastic measures and kick me out of his house.
Tears fall from my eyes as I think about this.
I love staying here with him. Over the course of these last three and a half months, I grew close to Tyson, and the feelings I have for him came to a head this morning, when we shared a passionate kiss.
Now, I feel like we’re breaking up, even though we weren’t even officially together.
I dry my eyes and run back upstairs to my room. Maybe this is for the best, I tell myself. Life is all about learning lessons, and this journey for me – this arranged marriage to Dilvan, living through his abuse, then seeing firsthand how good a man like Tyson treats women, has opened my eyes.
I know now that abuse does not, and is not equal to love.
I know I cannot measure my worth by the things a man, or anyone else, for that matter, says to me.
Self-worth and self-acceptance start within.
And lastly, thanks to Tyson, I know that good men really do exist in this world.
When I’m mentally prepared for it, love will find me, but before that happens, I must do the difficult task of finding myself and figuring out what I want. It’s time to focus on me.