Chapter 2
CHAPTER
TWO
The demon wasn’t a bad dream, but the hangover was definitely a nightmare.
The nakedness was still a wonderful reality.
His nakedness. Not mine. I’d gotten completely puritanical-nun-level clothed this morning, just in case.
I’d even put on one of those annoying onesie leotard things with snap fasteners in the crotch—which were great, if you were stick thin and had no boobs.
But if you had full breasts, fabulous thick thighs and a complete lack of coordination, then you needed to think twice before trying to take that bad boy off.
You were working blind down there, and snap fasteners weren’t fun at the best of times.
I crept down the hall to find Uko eating my coffee straight out of the bag. Horrified, I watched him throw another handful into his mouth. “No!” I yelled, launching myself across the kitchen counter toward the remaining portion of my stupidly expensive coffee beans. “What are you doing?”
He tilted his head left, then right, blinking way too much. “IGOTHUNGRYSOITHOUGHTI’DTRYSOMEOFYOURFOODANDIT’SDELICIOUS.” He bounced on the balls of his feet, twitching like a crack addict. So caffeine affected demons. Good to know. Still, I couldn’t let him be sacrilegious with my single-origin.
“No, Uko!” I pried the bag from his fingers. “Let me show you.”
Fifteen minutes later, I was placing a steaming cup of coffee in his hand, with a touch of creamer.
Stepping back, I watched him take his first sip.
His eyes went wide, his mouth dropping open slightly.
“It is so good.” Then he downed the entire thing in one mouthful, despite it being scaldingly hot. “More?” He held it out to me.
“How are you not writhing in pain right now?” I asked, carefully pouring him another cup. “Sip this one, okay?”
He nodded, letting out a sigh when he took the first sip. I knew the feeling. “I’m a fire demon. We don’t get burnt. Plus, you know, I live in Hell. A little hot drink isn’t going to cause me mortal injury.”
“Fire demon.”
“Uh-huh. The demon of fireworks and fried food, at your service.”
I shoved his chest. “You’re screwing with me right now, aren’t you? Fireworks and fried food,” I scoffed.
He frowned. “Screwing with you? You said I was not allowed to take advantage of your body.”
I blushed so hard, I was pretty sure my ancestors were also beet red.
“Uh, it’s just a saying. It’s not literal.
” Change the subject. Change the subject.
“So, what do you want to do today?” He waggled his eyebrows, and now I knew he was messing with me.
Scowling at him, I took a sip of my coffee so he couldn’t see the tiny curl of a smile on my lips.
He bit his full bottom lip, and I reminded myself, for the millionth time, that he was a demon. At least I’d stopped looking at his dick. Until I just thought about his dick, which automatically made me look at his dick. Dammit!
“I do not know. It will be several days until Lucifer realizes I am missing and sends his hunters.” He tapped his chin. “What would you do if you only had a few days to walk the earth?”
Most people would quit their job, but I’d already checked that one off my list yesterday. I’d quit when I caught my boss at the magazine bent over her desk while Cade did his best impression of a bronc rider behind her.
What else would I do? Sit on the couch and binge-watch TV while eating ice cream? Was I really that sad? “I don’t know either. Yesterday morning, I would have said stay home and have a bunch of sex with the love of my life. Now? I don’t know.”
The eyebrow wiggle was back, and it made his horns twitch. I desperately wanted to reach up and touch them. “Well, copious amounts of carnal pleasure is still an option.”
I rolled my eyes at him, resisting the urge to drag him to bed. “This conversation would be much more simple if you were wearing clothes again. Is there any way you can put your meat suit back on?”
He chuckled as he totally did that weird reverse stripping thing he’d done last night, which somehow was just as sexy as when he was walking around naked.
This time, he managed to magic on some jeans and a tight black t-shirt.
He even had a leather jacket. “I looked at your book to decide what humans were wearing right now.” I blushed again as he pointed to the super smutty MC romance I’d been reading on my couch the other day.
I swallowed hard as I noticed the way his shirt clung to his abs, his jeans sitting low on his hips. Sweet Mother of Cinnamon Rolls, help me. Honestly, if I could lick him, it would be worth going to Hell. There. I’d said it.
I was staring, words fleeing from my brain. My eyes tracked up his body of their own accord, and when I reached his amused face, a slight crinkle at the corners of eyes so dark they were inky-black pools, I blurted out, “Texas!”
When he stared at me blankly, I cleared my throat. “I’ve always wanted to go to the Texas State Fair. Plus, you’re the demon of fireworks and fried food, right? Well, at the Texas State Fair, you would be hailed a king. And there’s fireworks every night.”
I wondered if that was why I’d summoned him, of all demons. There was a little deep-fried Oreo voodoo out in the world right now.
The grin Uko gave me at that moment made my heart race. My body felt hot all over again, and this weird bubble of happiness pressed against my sternum. Oh, nope, that was vomit. I was totally going to hangover-puke.
I reached the sink just as my coffee bubbled back up my throat. Apparently, I was a magician. First, I’d made a demon appear, and now I’d just made an entire bottle of vodka reappear in my sink. Yay for me. I’ll take my applause now.
Uko came over and patted me on the back gently. “It does not smell so delicious in this form,” he said, clearly amused.
I flipped him the bird as I rested my head on the cool stainless steel of my sink.
I was definitely dying. Maybe Uko was a death apparition.
Like the end of a really awesome novel where the protagonist is actually buried in the woods and you’re seeing the last days of her life. I could see dead people. You know?
Uko handed me a glass of water. “Do you need a medicine man?”
I shook my head really, really slowly. “Nope. I’m good. I’m just going to have a nap until my blood alcohol level is more like 50/50, then we’ll go on a road trip to Dallas. You’re going to love it.” I gave him a weak smile, letting him wrap an arm around me and walk me to my bedroom.
He tucked me in, whispering, “There, there,” and petting my head like a puppy. When he left the room, I drifted back to sleep.
The sun was streaming through my window when I woke up again, and I was hot. My forehead was coated in sweat, and my thighs were stuck together. My chest was stuck to… something.
My eyes shot open as I realized I was curled around a shirtless Uko. He was snoring like a drunk old fat man, a little drool pooling in the corner of his mouth. He was adorable but not particularly sexy at that moment, and it kind of made me like him more.
I physically peeled my cleavage from his impressive back and resisted the urge to run my fingers down the muscles there.
Instead, I rolled over to my nightstand.
I looked at my phone—ten missed calls from Cade on my home screen.
There were also twenty-three texts from him, and five from my mom. I opened the ones from her first.
Mom: Cade says you are having a nervous breakdown. Are you okay?
Mom: Are you inviting strange men home, Elsie May? What would your father say?
Mom: Elsie? Why aren’t you answering me? Are you okay?
Mom: Elsie, are you dead? ANSWER ME!
Mom: Have you been murdered? I’m calling the police.
I quickly responded to her, because she wasn’t the kind of person who bluffed about calling the cops.
Me: Mom, I’m fine. My phone was just out of battery. Caught Cade fucking my boss. Wouldn’t take his word as gospel. Love you xo
Then I read the ones from Cade and smiled. I’d changed his name on my phone last night while I was drunk.
Fucking Cheating Sack Of Shit: Frank says you have a guy at your house. That was quick.
Fucking Cheating Sack Of Shit: What, you aren’t talking to me now?
Fucking Cheating Sack Of Shit: Look, Elsie. I made a mistake, that’s all. I want you back.
Fucking Cheating Sack Of Shit: Fine, be a bitch and not talk to me.
It devolved from there, of course. The last message he sent was dripping in acid, created with the express desire to slay me.
Fucking Cheating Sack Of Shit: Fuck you, you whore. Your boss was a thousand fucking times better in bed than you. You were like fucking a beached whale. Have a shit life, bitch.
I let out a little sobbing noise. Even though my brain knew he was a asshole who felt threatened because I had another guy here while he thought I should be sobbing over losing him, my heart internalized his venom like a sponge. A tear dripped down my cheek, and I swallowed hard.
“I can flay him if you want. I think I would enjoy it even more now. Actually, dismembering should be back on the table.”
I peeked behind me to see that Uko had woken and was looking over my shoulder at my phone. I shook my head, taking a screenshot of Cade’s last few messages and sending them to his mother. Then I deleted the messages and blocked his number.
I swiped at my eyes with my palm. “He’s not worth wasting your time on,” I sniffed, sounding stronger than I felt. I slid out of the bed, suddenly more self-conscious in front of Uko. Damn Cade.
I grabbed a box from the top of my wardrobe and started stuffing all the things that belonged to him in there. His shirts from my drawers. His toothbrush. I opened his protein powder and spat in it, before packing that too.
Eventually, when I was sure I’d purged every last sign of Cade from my apartment, I turned to Uko. He was wearing a shirt again and was looking at me with a small crease between his brows.