19. Cassandra Walker #2
But, Theo did raise some good points. I’d never really asked myself if I was queer.
I’d always just assumed I was straight because that was the status quo.
I’d dated men my whole life, but I wasn’t really opposed to the idea of dating a woman…
trans or cis. The opportunity just hadn’t really presented itself… Well, until now.
“Is there some sort of like, self-assessment test for queerness?” I asked, wondering if it was the same as when we’d been trying to find out if Cal was neurodivergent.
Theo barked out a laugh and shook her head.
“I mean, I’m sure there’s some sort of Buzzfeed quiz you can take or something, but I don’t know if we need to do all that.”
“So how do I know, then?”
“Well, are you attracted to women?”
I gave her a ‘duh’ face.
“Who isn’t attracted to women?” I scoffed. Women were beautiful. It was like an objective fact.
Theo chuckled and shook her head.
“Well, gay men, for one, aren’t attracted to women,” Theo replied patiently, and I blinked again.
“Okay. Yeah. Good point.”
“Straight women aren’t either, Cass,” Theo said softly, and I frowned.
I was having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that straight women really weren’t attracted to other women.
Like… not even a little bit?
But the more I thought about that, the more I realized how weird that was to think. That was the literal definition of being straight, right?
I guess I’d just thought because I’d assumed I was straight and still thought women were hot… That meant other straight women thought girls were hot too…
It hadn’t really occurred to me that just meant I probably wasn’t straight at all.
Jesus, Cass.
For someone constantly going on about how high your IQ is, you’d think this would be an easier concept for you to grasp…
“So, are you? Attracted to women?” Theo asked again, and the room suddenly felt too hot again.
She was staring at me–a calm, solid anchor that I found myself clinging to as all these new thoughts and questions kicked up into a raging storm in my mind.
I remembered how, literally just an hour ago, I’d needed to squeeze my thighs together just to suppress the thrill of heat that had cut through me at the thought of Theo naked, wet, and soapy in the shower.
My mouth went dry as I studied her face. She was somehow this perfect blend of masculine and feminine.
With her small, firm breasts curving slightly beneath her t-shirt, she didn’t physically present as a man, but her forearms were veined and muscled, and her biceps had that egg-shaped curve that leaned more masculine.
Her jaw was sharp, and her lips were full, but her thick, dark eyebrows, while well-groomed, were not dainty by any means.
Was I attracted to women?
The slickness that had gathered again between my thighs from just looking at Theo told me that yes.
I very much was.
At some point during my inspection, I’d shifted closer to her, and there were only a few inches separating us now.
The room felt like it was shrinking again, and my breath was coming out in short, breathy bursts.
Theo’s gaze dropped down to my mouth, and I realized her chest was rising and falling nearly as quickly as mine.
She squeezed my hand in her lap and gently guided my arm forward, tugging me in closer.
My hands slipped under the hem of her t-shirt, and I bit back a shudder as my fingertips brushed across a hot, smooth sliver of skin on her abdomen.
Fuck.
Every inch of her was pure muscle.
I wanted to trace gentle lines up her abs and see what it would feel like to cup her breasts in my hands.
The thought slashed through my mind, and I literally felt my pupils blow.
Theo let out one of those delicious, low chuckles, and she slid her free hand up to my throat, cuffing me gently.
Hooking her thumb under my chin, she tilted my head up so she could meet my gaze.
Her eyes were heavy-lidded, and her pupils were just as large as I was sure mine were.
“Theo…”
Her name slipped out of my mouth like a whisper, and her lips were so close, I wondered if she could literally taste each syllable.
“Yes, Cassandra?” she hummed. The tip of her nose brushed against mine, and I found myself tilting my head to the side.
My mind seemed to have fully gone offline. I couldn’t remember what we’d been talking about.
All I could think about was how taut Theo’s stomach was beneath my fingers, and how insane her minty breath felt skating across my lips.
She smelled like eucalyptus and rosemary, and it was somehow both so relaxing and intoxicating.
My whole body was humming with anticipation as she gently stroked her thumb across my jawbone.
“What do you need, baby girl?” she whispered, hovering just out of reach.
“I-I don’t know.” My voice was breathy and quiet. I don’t think I’d ever sounded like this before, but I couldn’t form coherent thoughts.
Some small part of me was still warning me that this was a bad idea.
I was supposed to be keeping my distance.
I was supposed to be clear and honest with Theo about what this arrangement was… but…
My core was burning, and I felt my body begin to rock slightly in an attempt to quell the steady build of heat between my thighs.
Theo glanced down at the telltale motion of my hips. Her eyes flared, and a knowing smirk curled on her perfect lips.
“You need to tell me, baby. I can’t touch you if you don’t ask me for it.”
“Theo…” I whined, flexing my fingers into the hard muscles just beneath the hem of her t-shirt. “I don’t… I don’t beg. Don’t make me beg,” I whispered, and she glanced up to meet my eyes just as my hips rolled again on their own accord.
“I’m not asking you to beg, Cassandra. But you need to tell me what you want. I’m not going to risk doing something to you that you don’t actually want. This has to be your choice.”
Her dark eyes turned devilish, and she leaned forward, skating her nose up the column of my throat before whispering in my ear.
“Because if it was up to me, princess… I would have fucked you a long time ago.”
I groaned and my body arched of its own accord as her hot breath caused my entire body to shiver with goosebumps.
My nipples hardened to tiny points beneath my bra, and suddenly, I didn’t care about whatever reasons I’d had to keep my distance from this infuriatingly sexy, dangerous, and addicting woman.
Fuck it.
I wanted her.
And I was Cassandra Walker.
If I wanted something, I took it.
Theodora would be no exception.