Chapter 6 #5
It had been the same thing after she had Charlie.
It had been a rough delivery, and afterwards, coming home with a somewhat colic-y new baby to my studio apartment, she fell pretty quickly into a bottomless pit of post-partum depression.
It was a situation that would have tried the patience of the Pope, and Cassie definitely wasn’t the Pope.
But the one thing she was sure of, and never wavered about, and hung onto hard, was that Mike would come back.
He loved her, and she loved him. So as I paced around my tiny apartment with the five feet of floor space that was still open for walking on, rocking a crying Charlie and praying, praying that he would settle down with a bottle before my neighbors called the landlord on me, she closed her eyes and thought of the shining beacon of Mike. Things hadn’t changed.
I took Charlie with me to the NGS on Saturday morning and kept up our routine, even though he begged to be left at home in case his father arrived.
I was on pins and needles, both from the thought of Mike’s arrival, and from the thought of Luke’s.
He had texted me again on Friday night to make sure that I got home ok from Roy’s. It had kept me going.
Charlie got his cookie, and he and Frankie went over to the playground as usual. Martha and I were busy with customers at first, but as they slowed to a trickle, she sat down at the broken register and gave me the eye.
“You look very nice today, honey.”
“Thanks, Martha.” I smoothed down my hair. It had gotten really long, but I liked it.
“Mmhmm,” she responded, still eyeing me. “Any progress with the car?”
I had given it some thought, and had a plan that I wasn’t ready to share with Martha. The plan involved working with Mike, and she absolutely hated Mike. “It’ll be ok, you don’t need to worry about us.”
“Oh, Emily, of course I worry about you! All alone in that house, taking care of that woman, and Charlie.”
“That woman?” I asked cautiously.
“I know you won’t hear a word against her, but I need to tell you something.” She was twitching up a storm. “Maybe a comparison would be better. You tell me what you think would happen if I got sick.”
I was surprised. “You? Are you ok?”
“I’m fine. Let’s just pretend.”
I considered. “Well, Carl would have a fit.”
“And?”
“And…I don’t know. We’d all try to help you.”
“Who would try to help?” she demanded.
“Everyone! Your family, the customers, Carl’s co-workers at the bait shop, everyone.”
“Exactly. When Katie at the library had a bad flare-up with her MS last summer, we had a can at the register to take donations for her. We had a sign-up to bring her dinners. Everyone pitched in. Now tell me, has anyone done that for your sister?”
I was trying not to get angry. “No. No one has helped us like that.”
“You mean, no one has helped her like that. In one way or another she has alienated almost everyone in this town. From the time she was in junior high she has been rubbing people the wrong way. And you probably weren’t aware of the trouble she got up to when she was in high school.
” Martha muttered something that sounded like “hockey coach.”
I opened my mouth with an angry retort but she held up her hand.
“I’m not telling you this to get your goat, and I’m not saying that the people in this town are acting in a very Christian way. But I see you struggling, and it makes me angry. It isn’t fair to you,” she twitched. “You should know why.”
A customer approached the registers with a cart full of groceries and looked nervously at the two of us, me red-faced and fuming, and Martha twitching like she was getting electric shocks.
“I’ll help you right here,” I barked at the poor woman.
Cassie certainly wasn’t perfect, but the people in this town sucked not to help her.
I hadn’t thought about it before, but now I remembered when Loretta had been dying.
My dad had taken off already, and there was a full-scale, all-out effort to help Loretta and Nana and me.
People from church brought over bags of groceries.
I always had a ride to school. Teachers let me have extra time with assignments.
Casseroles appeared at our door. There was a rotating group that brought Loretta to her various doctor appointments.
I got even angrier. “Thanks for coming to the NGS,” I snapped as I put the last item in the lady’s bag. She nodded and took off like a shot.
Martha put her hand on my shoulder. “Honey, I’m sorry I made you so upset.”
I turned to face her. “No matter what Cassie has done in the past, I don’t think she deserves to be shunned. He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. Right?”
“You’re right,” Martha said. “You’re absolutely right. And I can’t think of anyone around here who would be able to cast the first stone. Now, have a cookie, and do me a favor and go call in Frankie and Charlie. It’s time for them to go to the library.”
I got a short text from Luke that his flight was delayed, but I didn’t hear from Cassie, and when Charlie and I got home, she would barely speak to me.
I didn’t bother to ask her if she had heard from Mike.
She stayed up in her room, looking in the hand mirror, while Charlie and I ate together in the kitchen.
Rather than leave him home that night, I drove him over to Tara’s. Darby was at the door and waved him in. “Charlie, my dad got us a movie!” she yelled. I grabbed him for a quick kiss before he bolted inside.
Tara rolled her eyes. "I won't watch that again. I hate those little yellow fuckers.”
“Tara! Your mouth.”
“I’ll keep it clean around Charlie.” She saw me eyeing her. “Cleaner, ok? I’ll do my best.” Now she eyed me too. “You look fancy this evening. Dressing up for Roy?”
I snorted. “I just brushed my hair. It makes me wonder how bad I must look the rest of the time when people are so shocked with my hair brushing.”
Suddenly she hugged me. “Emily Brennan, you are a beautiful, smart, loving woman.”
I was stunned. “Tara, are you ok? What’s the matter?” I asked anxiously.
“Nothing, you wench. But now I’m wondering how bad I must be the rest of the time if you’re this shocked that I gave you a compliment.”
I opened my mouth, but she held up her hand. “Don’t say it. I know exactly how bad I am.”
“But I love you anyway,” I told her, and gave her another hug.
“I’ll pick him up in the morning, ok?” I asked, as she walked me down to my car.
“Don’t rush over. They’ll probably stay up late and sleep in.”
“Then I’ll sleep in too. Ok, thank you, Tara.”
I was a mess at Roy’s. I almost dropped a tray. I messed up two orders. Roy was glaring at me constantly from those half-closed eyes. I kept drifting from table to table, unable to focus, waiting for my phone to vibrate in my pocket, waiting for the door to open. Waiting.
And then Luke walked in.
I took a deep breath in and it lodged in my chest.
He looked taller. Was he taller? The look on his face when he saw me made my heart skip a beat and then rev into fifth gear.
Everything at Roy’s narrowed down to just Luke, looking at me, walking toward me.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi,” I breathed.
We were just standing and staring at each other, matching goofy smiles on our faces.
“Emily!” Roy called from behind the bar. “What’re you doing?”
I turned to look at him, shaken out of the spell. “Do I pay you to stand around yapping?” he asked. The regulars at the bar laughed, the jerks.
Luke reached out and rubbed my arm gently. Every cell in my body flew to attention. “I have to get back to work,” I stuttered.
He nodded. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I don’t know how I got through the rest of the night.
Luke sat at a table, nursing a beer. I tried my hardest not to look at him.
I really did. But it was like there was some kind of magnetic pull; I could not stop my eyes from seeking him out.
And every time I looked over at him, he was watching me too.
Finally Roy hollered out for last call. Finally he went to the bathroom to root out any stragglers, we swept the floor, and wiped down the bar. Roy locked up and I looked around the parking lot.
Luke was leaning against his car at the back of the lot. Vaguely I heard Roy back up his car and leave. I walked toward Luke, my legs moving faster and faster, until I was almost running. He stood up as I reached him and without any clear thought I put my arms around his neck and kissed him.
He kissed me back, one strong arm encircling my waist, the other drawing up my neck to cup the back of my head, threading his fingers through my hair. He pulled me tighter and his tongue dipped farther into my mouth. I thrust closer to him. I couldn’t get close enough.
Luke swung me around, leaned me back against the car, his mouth dropping down to kiss my neck, biting softly, nosing my ear.
I could feel him panting as he put his lips on mine again, then he reached down and grabbed my leg under my knee, pulling it up against his hip and pushing his hips into mine, grinding against me.
Oh, it felt so good. I moaned softly and he pulled back, looking into my eyes.
“Emily,” he breathed. “Emily…”
“I missed you,” I told him, and pulled his head back down to kiss me again.
I wasn’t sure how long we stood in the parking lot, kissing, laughing, my hands running up under his shirt to feel his smooth skin and his muscles rippling under my fingers.
His hands snuck under my shirt too, sweeping up over my stomach, under my bra, cupping my breasts and pinching my nipples until I gasped and pushed back against him, pressing into his hands.
Oh, oh. I lost all track of time, of everything.
My head fell to the side and he bent to my neck again, sucking and biting and I moaned louder.
He breathed hard into my neck and pulled back a bit. “I don’t want to do this in a parking lot.”
“No, it’s ok,” I said mindlessly, trying to tug him back to me.
Luke laughed softly. “No, we have to stop. We’re in the parking lot at Roy’s Tavern. We don’t want to do this here.”
I laughed too, breathless.
We looked at each other. “Can I see you tomorrow?” he asked.
I nodded. Then I smiled, and laughed again out of pure happiness. He could see me any time.
“I want to follow you home, ok?”
I nodded again.
“Did I kiss the speech right out of you?” Luke asked, nuzzling my neck.
“Mmhmmm,” I answered, grinding against him again.
“Emily, Jesus, we have to stop.” He took a deep breath, put his hands on my shoulders and took a step back. “Let’s get you to your car.”
I was like jelly. He put his arm around me and I snuggled against him. Happiness was surging through me, making me almost lightheaded. Luke and I were sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
Luke watched me buckle my seatbelt, hands on the top of the car. Then he leaned in and kissed me again. I was grinning like a fool, but so was he. “I’m glad I came home,” he said, and kissed me on my nose.
I checked about a million times to see his headlights behind me. My cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling.
And then I saw Nana’s house. Every light seemed to be on, and there was a green Jeep parked in the driveway.
Mike was home.