Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Damien
The thrill I got from performing in front of a crowd was indescribable.
A unique high that was beyond words. Standing on stage, as the energy from the crowd mirrored mine, all our voices blended in a beautiful harmony.
In that brief time, we were all the same.
Nothing else mattered besides our shared passion for music.
Music tied us all together.
Those were the moments I lived for.
Our gig was earlier than normal today, so we had time to decompress after our set. The headliner tonight was The Evil Princes, and I was genuinely enjoying their music.
I hated to admit that at this point, most of the venues started to look the same. We’d been doing this for eight years now and played in a lot of places.
Even here, they had the same dim lighting, stage area, and limited seating. We’d set up our merchandise table along the wall across from the bar. Right now, most of the patrons were in front of the stage, moving to the music while the guys and I took a minute to relax.
I was sitting on the black foldable table next to our merch, sipping a beer, when my phone vibrated in my pocket.
I pulled it out, reading Jade’s name on my screen. She and I had been texting off and on for a while now. She initiated most of the conversation, but it didn’t bother me. I enjoyed her tenacity and positive outlook on life.
Jade
Hey, sorry to bother you. I know how crazy things get at your shows. But Cadence is asking if she can have your number.
I wanted to ask if it was okay before I gave it to her.
Hmm. Interesting. So Cadence wanted to talk.
Yeah, that’s fine.
Okay. Cool.
How’s the show going tonight?
Good. We just finished up not too long ago. Just hanging out now.
Nice. I’m going out tonight with some friends. But I’d rather stay in.
I’m still tired from last night.
For a moment, I felt guilty. She’d hung out with the guys late last night because her ride had helped us. Not only that, but I’d been in no hurry to return and say goodbye. Too preoccupied with something else.
Someone else…
Ah. Sounds fun, though.
It’s too bad you guys weren’t playing closer tonight, or I would have made the trip.
Hopefully, you’ll be back soon!
Guilt weighed on me. Jade only wanted to come out and support us, but I was glad she couldn’t make it. If she’d come, Cadence would have too I’m sure, and being around her was maddening.
There was something about watching Cadence interact with everyone, knowing I couldn’t let my guard down and be myself around her. Seeing her with Colton was particularly aggravating. The two of them had some sort of thing. He was comfortable enough to touch her, pull her close, and talk to her.
They’d developed their own friendship, while I did nothing but push her away.
A conundrum for sure.
Maybe things between us would be different after last night.
I’d been more open with her than I had before.
Not only that, but she’d been that way too.
I could see the vulnerability in her, hear the unhappiness that lingered behind her words.
We’d crossed some invisible line, an understanding of sorts. No more bullshit.
But it didn’t change anything.
I hated that I watched her out of the corner of my eye.
I hated that I wasn’t the one she came to see.
I hated the fact that I wanted her.
But I did…
And I hated it.
Then why had I given Jade the okay to share my number with Cadence?
I was giving myself a bit of whiplash. Undeniably eager to be wrapped up in Cadence’s world, but also trying to avoid her completely.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
As if knowing I was in the middle of a mental argument with myself, her text came through.
Cadence
Hey Damien, it’s Cadence. Did you leave a hoodie in the back of my car? It magically appeared there, and I have no idea whose it is.
Oh shit. I did leave my sweatshirt in her car. How had I forgotten about that?
I mean… I knew how. I’d been presented with a beautiful sleeping woman who my fingers ached to touch. I’d been so caught up in the feel of her skin, I’d forgotten all about my hoodie.
Whoops.
Maybe I could convince her to bring it back to me.
… and why would I do that?
But when she mentioned selling it on eBay, I laughed out loud, earning a look of confusion from Shane.
I hadn’t realized he’d come over and was surprised when he plopped down beside me.
“You’re grinning like a damn fool. Who are you texting?”
Was I grinning? Fuck.
“No one in particular.”
“So, a girl then.”
“Maybe.”
Shane’s gaze flicked down to my phone as it lit up with her message, then back to my face. “Not saved in your phone. So not Violet or the kids.”
“Nope.” I looked away and texted her back.
“Hmm.”
“Don’t act like I don’t talk to girls.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. You just don’t usually look like that when you do.”
I rolled my head to toward him. “Like what?”
He shrugged. “Like some school girl who finally got the guy she likes to notice she exists.”
I laughed. “Guys in school have crushes too.”
“Whatever. This isn’t a gender thing. Stop trying to change the topic.”
“I’m not. I was just pointing out a flaw in your thinking.”
Shane groaned next to me as I rechecked my messages. I couldn’t deny the back-and-forth banter was addicting.
“I need another beer.” He hopped off the table without looking back, and I swung my feet as I felt my phone vibrate again.
I thought we were sharing secrets.
But then it wouldn’t be a secret anymore.
Noted.
I can’t reveal all my secrets, yet.
You have yet to reveal any secrets.
Tell me something else then.
What else do you want to know?
What’s your favorite color?
Purple
Favorite Food?
Hm. That’s a hard one.
So many good foods out there.
Right now, it’s steak.
What do you put on your pizza?
I wouldn’t want to even look at a piece of pizza right now.
Wow.
Who doesn’t like pizza?
It’s unnatural.
I couldn’t turn down a slice of pizza if my life depended on it.
Haha!
Probably has something to do with the fact that pizza is readily available anytime.
Anywhere.
We eat pizza all the time.
So, if I have to eat it. Pepperoni and green pepper.
Well. Now I feel bad for calling you out.
I know how you can make it up to me.
How? Tow your trailer of music equipment to your bus?
Oh, wait. I already did that.
What’s the equivalent of a dick pic for a girl?
Absolutely not.
I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up inside me.
Come on. It could be fun.
Are you being serious? That’s gross.
It’s like a menu, but only pictures.
I gave her about thirty seconds to text back, and when she didn’t, I texted her again. I was messing around about the whole thing, but I wanted to see how far I could push her.
I’m just kidding.
I’m not like that.
You’re not?
No
So, if I sent you a picture of my kitty cat right now, you wouldn’t enjoy that?
Is this part of a test? What is the correct answer here?
I don’t like cats, but pussies are like a fine wine that gets better with time.
She tried to be coy with her words, but I wouldn’t let her. No cute little nickname would change the fact that we were talking about her body and the holy grail it contained.
OMG. I can’t believe you just said that.
What can I say? I’m a guy who knows what he likes.
No. Change of subject. Do you like… cheese?
Really? A movie reference?
It’s all I could think of.
Fine. I’ll play.
Doesn’t everyone?
Not if they are allergic.
Bless their heart.
What else ya got?
Ugh. Um. What’s your favorite TV show?
Ooh. Hm.
Game of Thrones. I love the storyline and the medieval aspect of it.
But the ending is so rushed! I was so disappointed.
You’re not wrong, but it still didn’t take away from the story. She had to die. There was no way around it.
Hey. Your nerd is showing.
Not as much as yours.
Maybe.
Hey.
I wanted to tell you…
You’re amazing on stage. You and the guys are so talented.
When I watch you, I feel your music in my soul. It speaks to me, and I feel it in every part of my body.
Well… Damn. Her words caused the hair on my arms to rise. I shivered despite being in a hot bar filled to the brim with other people.
It was all I wanted when I performed on stage. To connect with those who shared the same story I did.
Her words resonated within my soul.
Thank you. Truly.
Did you always want to sing?
No, actually.
I’ve always loved music. But being a singer wasn’t something I’d planned. It just sort of happened.
How does that just sorta happen?
The guys and I had gotten together one night, and they started playing.
Before I knew it, they’d convinced me to sing with them.
The rest is history.
Wow. That’s pretty amazing.
I’m one of the lucky ones.
You know, when I was younger, I wanted to be a singer. For the longest time, I thought I was good enough, and I just waited out my time until I got my big break.
What happened?
I grew up.
Life is a garden.
Sometimes, you can water a garden as much as you want, but the seeds don’t sprout.
My usually quick response didn’t come. She was right. Sometimes, it didn’t matter how much effort you put into things. Sometimes, they just weren’t meant to be.
Much like my relationship with Vanessa. I’d given her everything I had.
You got me there.
If Cadence noticed the hint of melancholy in my text, she didn’t show it.
Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had pursued it. It seems like fame can be just as much of a curse as it is a blessing.
That’s a pretty big thought to digest.
Do people recognize you when you are out and about?
Naw.
That surprises me.
I’m only seen on stage. When I’m out doing everyday things, I’m just me.
It’s everything else that creates this atmosphere that makes me desirable.
She didn’t respond immediately, and I looked around as I waited for my phone to go off.
This only proved my point. Everyone here had their eyes on The Evil Princes, and I was just another person alone in the back.
But it didn’t bother me. The opposite, actually.
I enjoyed being incognito. I never wanted to be afraid to be myself in public.
Not that I ever did anything crazy. I didn’t want to tarnish the band’s name or reputation. I stayed out of trouble these days, but the past was a different story. I’d had my fair share of experiences. We all did.
Well, I like ‘just you.’
I find it hard to believe that girls don’t find you desirable in all walks of life.
Right now, I’m imagining girls swooning as you walk through Lowes with a 2x4 over your shoulder.
Or pushing the cart around the grocery store.
Pumping gas.
Breathing.
A smile spread across my lips again. Was she thinking about me as much as I was about her?
Wouldn’t that be an interesting revelation?
Especially since I was trying so hard to remove her from my thoughts, completely.
But unfortunately, that didn’t stop me.
Or her, apparently.