Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Cadence
Autumn
Discovering that your childhood friend has passed away was a shock you could never be prepared for. A reminder that not every day in this life was guaranteed and the next tragedy waited just around the corner.
I was ecstatic when Blake’s name popped up on my phone screen.
I had been thinking about her and meant to reach out.
Of course, I’d gotten distracted and started on a completely different task.
Something that happened a lot, but I was working on it.
We didn’t spend nearly enough time keeping in touch.
“Blake! Hey, what’s up?”
The sun still burned in the sky as I walked outside after work, and a cool breeze from the ocean swept in.
“Cay… Um. I’m not really sure where to start. But I need to tell you something.”
She sounded off, and immediately I realized this was serious. Her voice came out hoarse, like she’d been crying.
I opened my car door and got in, cutting me off from the outside world. “What’s wrong? Is Jamie okay?”
My first inkling was that something happened to him. Even though the jerk had completely shattered her heart, that didn’t stop her from still caring about him. I didn’t understand exactly what a combat controller did in the military, but I knew he was out in the thick of things.
She sniffled. “It’s not Jamie. It’s about Noah.”
“Noah?”
My limbs turned to ice.
Growing up at my mom’s house in Fayetteville, there had been seven of us who thought we ran the town: me, Blakely, Jamie, Noah, Liam, Erikson, and Wesley. They were my best friends and welcomed Jade with open arms when she’d come for a visit.
A heaviness settled in my chest as I waited for her words with bated breath. I knew what she was going to say… knew it with every fiber of my being. But I needed to hear her say the words.
“Cay… Noah was killed.”
I sucked in a breath and my eyes blurred with tears, feeling like I’d been sucker punched in the gut. “How?”
I could barely get the word out around the lump in my throat.
“He died during a combat operation. They can’t say much more than that.” Her voice came out low, filled with a sadness that mirrored my own.
“When?”
“Two days ago. The funeral is on Tuesday. Do you think you can come up?”
It was Friday, and Elijah had mentioned no plans for this weekend.
In fact, things with Elijah had been perfect recently.
We stopped bickering and arguing about trivial things, which was an immense relief. Work was going well, and we spent more time together. I saw more and more of the Elijah I’d fallen in love with all those years ago.
“I’ll talk to Elijah and see about coming. How are you holding up?”
“About the same as you are right now, I’d imagine.”
“What about the guys? Oh, gosh, Dean?! Is he okay?”
“I’m assuming someone told the guys. I haven’t talked to them, though. And Dean… he isn’t doing well.”
“Understandably so.”
“It’s been hard. I don’t know how to comfort him. I’ve never lost anyone like this. My mom left, but she isn’t dead. Noah was one of my best friends, but he wasn’t my brother.”
“I can’t imagine what he is going through. I’ll do what I can to be there.”
“Talk about bittersweet. I wanted to see you, but not like this.”
“It’s okay, I get it. Me too.”
“I’ll talk to you soon. I love you, Cay.”
“Aw. I love you too, Blake.”
“It just goes to show that we don’t always have tomorrow to tell those we love that we love them.”
“I know.”
“Talk soon.”
“Bye.”
I didn’t move to start my Jeep and drive home. My chest ached. The pain so intense that my muscles wouldn’t function properly. All I could do was sit there, looking out the windshield as the birds flew from tree to tree outside the parking lot and wiping my tears as they fell down my cheeks.
Noah. I’d never see him again.
It was a beautiful day in Charleston, not too warm but not yet cool. Adorable fluffy clouds floated in the sky above me. The kind where you would lie in the grass and try to find animals or shapes in as a kid.
But the sunny atmosphere no longer matched my heart. How dare the weather be so perfect when Noah could never see the sunshine again.
Somehow, thirty minutes had passed by as I simply stared into the sky. Elijah’s car was still next to mine. He was notorious for working late. I’d have plenty of time to get home and prepare dinner, but now I’d have to combat the traffic on the connectors.
As I drove out and sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic, where the lovely people of Charleston couldn’t figure out the zipper method to merge on Maybank Highway, I felt completely detached. Sorrow lingered around me.
Stuck in some sort of time vortex, everything around me moved both fast and slow.
When Elijah opened the door, I was surprised to see him and yet wondered what had taken him so long.
“Hey.” He walked into the kitchen and kissed me on the cheek.
I was breaking up the ground beef for our spaghetti as I looked up at him and tried to smile. “Hey. How was work today?”
Even though we were both employed at Powell Enterprises, we rarely saw each other. Elijah worked up on the top floor alongside his family, while I stayed down on the second floor of the four-story building with the rest of the peons.
“It was fine. Busy as usual. I swear I can never catch a break. I have to log on tonight and do a little work. You don’t mind, do you?”
“No, I don’t mind. I do need to talk to you about something, though.”
Elijah frowned as he leaned against the counter next to me. “Everything okay?”
“Not really. Do you remember my childhood friend, Noah Richey? He was killed.”
“Killed? How?”
“He was deployed to the Middle East.”
“Ah.”
“I’d like to go home for the funeral. It’s on Tuesday. You’re welcome to come with me if you want.”
Elijah’s brows furrowed as he crossed his arms. “I’ve been to that hometown of yours once already. I have no desire to return.”
“Elijah—”
“And frankly, I don’t want you to go either. We have the compliance inspection starting on Monday. We can’t afford to not have you there.”
“But everything is ready for the inspection. I’ve already prepared all the documents this week. Plus, it’s Friday night. If it isn’t done now, it’s not going to get done.”
“If something needs to be done, you can do it this weekend. Which is why you don’t have time to go to Fayetteville for a funeral for someone you haven’t seen in years.”
“I haven’t seen him in years because he joined the military and I moved away.”
“If he was that important to you, why don’t you talk about him? Why haven’t I met him?”
“You aren’t interested in anyone from Fayetteville, you’ve made that abundantly clear, and he’s rarely home when I’m there visiting.”
“There is no one else you’re trying to go home and see?”
“Why am I even explaining myself to you? My childhood friend died. We grew up together. I want to go to his funeral. Bottom line.”
“Go if you want, but you might not have a job when you return.”
I threw down the spatula and turned toward him. “Seriously?”
He shrugged, a condescending smirk on his face. “I can’t help it if Mom or Dad decide to fire you because you’re missing the biggest inspection for our company. It doesn’t prove your loyalty, Cadence.”
You know how in kids’ TV shows, the cartoon character’s jaw drops to the ground and has to be rolled up like a window shade? That’s what I envisioned my jaw looked like now as I stared agape at Elijah.
“You are kidding me, right? You wouldn’t have my back with your parents? You wouldn’t vouch for me and tell them I was out for a funeral? You’d let them fire me? Just like that?”
Again, he shrugged. “I can’t control them.”
Words stuck in my throat as my breathing picked up. I couldn’t believe this. I couldn’t believe him.
Suddenly, all those negative emotions I’d carried all summer came rushing back, like we had made no progress at all. He still valued his family and what they thought more than me. Could they really be that heartless? To deny the privilege of saying a last goodbye to one of my best friends?
My throat burned as my tears threatened to fall again. I’d made it a rule long ago to never cry in front of anyone. Tears were seen as a weakness, like you couldn’t handle yourself if you cried. However, I cried not only because I was sad, but also when I became angry.
I closed my eyes and pressed my hand to my aching chest. I needed to figure out how to properly work my lungs again. My vision was spotty, black dots moving behind my lids.
I finally opened them again. “I’m not hungry anymore. If you want to finish cooking, go ahead.”
Turning off the burner, I walked around Elijah and up the stairs to our bedroom.
“Cadence. Wait.”
But I kept going. It was too late.
When I called Jade, she picked up on the second ring.
“What’s wrong? You never straight up call me. It’s either text or FaceTime.”
The words I knew I needed to say caught in my throat. She had been Noah’s friend too. She deserved to know.
“Cadence… what’s going on?”
“I don’t know how to even say it…”
But I let the jumbled mess of words leave my mouth as my heart ached and tears fell. Her gasps and the sound of her crying was the only thing on the other line.
“I realize you didn’t spend as much time with the gang as you wanted, but I know how much they all mean to you. I had to tell you.”
“I’m glad you did.” She sniffled, her voice deeper than normal. “When is the funeral?”
“Next week.”
“When do you leave?”
I looked down at my feet that dangled off the edge of my bed. “I’m not. I can’t get the time off of work.”
“What? Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“Elijah can’t pull some strings for you?”
“No. He can’t.” There was a hard edge to my voice, but she didn’t pick up on it.
“I can’t believe that. I’m so sorry. I know how much it’s going to hurt to miss that. To not say goodbye to someone you grew up with.”
“It is.” I rubbed the spot on my chest where I knew my heart lay, trying to calm the lightning storm within.
“Thanks for telling me, Cay. I know it can’t be easy for you to talk about.”