Chapter 10 #2
“Talk tomorrow?”
“Of course.”
As we hung up, I took a deep breath. I was so lucky to have someone like her in my life. Despite the weirdness between us around the time Damien and I started talking, we have always had each other’s back. And even then, it was only a week or so of vague texts and no coffee dates.
Just like Blake had said, Noah’s death just showed you that life was short, and to cherish the one’s you held close.
I took an extra-long steamy shower to help release some of the agitation from my fight with Elijah. I didn’t want to fight when he came to bed, so I fought to shove my emotions down so they wouldn’t pop back up unexpectedly.
As I finished rubbing lotion on my body after my shower, I smiled as Damien’s name appeared on my phone screen. Somehow he knew I needed a pick me up.
Damien
Some days, I really wish I wasn’t sleeping on a bus full of dudes who smell like they rolled around on the floor of a men’s locker room.
Damien had quickly become one of the few people I didn’t have to pretend with. I could be irritable, depressed, or even a little unhinged. No matter what, Damien never judged me. In fact, I’d even venture to say he liked my tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve.
Ooh. Tough break. You’ll be home soon, though, right?
I set my phone back on my nightstand, dressed in the clothes I’d put out, and picked it back up.
Yeah, Thank God.
I bet you can’t wait to climb into your own bed.
Where are you from again?
I can’t remember.
I ran into the bathroom to brush my hair, quickly tying it into a long braid, before finishing my skincare and brushing my teeth.
I don’t think I ever told you.
Then that’s why I don’t know.
I sat on the edge of my bed.
Haha.
We’re from Michigan. Lansing, to be exact.
Oh, okay. That’s not too far from Charleston.
No, not at all. We tour the southeastern side of the country a lot. But we’ve been expanding over to the West Coast.
We have a few shows out there coming up.
One of my best friends lives in Los Angeles.
We are actually playing just outside of LA.
Next time we are in town, you should bring some of your friends to our show.
My fingers stilled over the keyboard. He wanted to meet my friends? He was that invested in our friendship? It stirred something within me, but I pushed it down.
I would, but they are all in North Carolina.
Except the one in CA…
And the one he’d never get to meet…
Really?
Yeah, that’s where I’m from.
But you and your sister live in Charleston together?
It’s a long story.
Hit me with it.
Jade and I aren’t blood sisters and technically no longer sisters since her mom and my dad are no longer together.
But my dad moved to SC with Jade’s mom and after they divorced, my dad moved to Greenville, while Jade and her mom stayed in Charleston.
Jade and I had become really close, so of course we kept in touch.
But my mom is still in NC.
And you’re in Charleston now because…
Lol.
After I graduated college, my boyfriend convinced me to move with him to Charleston because he’s from here.
Ah. The boyfriend.
Yeah. The boyfriend.
I let my gaze travel to the closed door of our bedroom. A piece of wood that separated Elijah and me physically, but I was discovering that we weren’t as emotionally connected to each other as we used to be. The short period of normalcy we’d experienced recently wouldn’t change that.
I rearranged my pillows against my headboard before pulling back the comforter and sliding in, taking a moment to gather my thoughts. I wanted to ask Damien a question, but I wasn’t sure how to put the words together.
If the friend of your girlfriend died, would you stop her from traveling home for the funeral?
I don’t have a girlfriend.
I stared at the words.
We never discussed that topic and never needed to, since we were just friends. And I’d never asked outright either, feigning indifference.
I couldn’t explain how those words bloomed in my chest.
Okay, then your fiancé?
None of those either.
Wife?
I giggled, pulling my knees to my chest. How long would he let this go?
Nope.
Uh… a lady friend?
Naw.
Friends with benefits?
Unfortunately, no.
OMG. You’re such a perv.
Fine, but what if you did have any of the above? Hypothetically.
IF I had one, then of course not. I’d never tell her not to say goodbye to someone she cared about.
Why are you asking?
Are you okay?
I frowned, unsure if I wanted to cross that bridge with Damien. We’d never really talked about Elijah that way. Any time he was brought up, it was superficial, and we moved on quickly, like an elephant in the room.
This seemed like a moment in our friendship, crossing into something more significant. Sharing details like this was intimate, which made me feel a little vulnerable.
I took a deep breath before I began typing, my fingers flying without me thinking about the words.
One of my childhood friends just passed away, and when I told Elijah I wanted to go to the funeral in NC, he freaked out. He told me that if I went, his mom would fire me, and he didn’t think it was worth going home for. He gave me zero support.
Wow. That’s a lot to digest at once.
How can his mom fire you?
Does he not know this friend?
Why wouldn’t he have your back with his mom if she can, indeed, fire you?
There are other words, but I’ll keep them to myself.
I laughed out loud. Somehow, he made me smile, despite the sour topic.
I work for his family’s company. I’m in their finance department.
Ah. I see.
And no, he doesn’t know him. Elijah and I met in college, and Noah had already left for the military by then.
So he was killed in combat?
Yeah.
That’s messed up.
Not only does your boyfriend not want you to go home, he doesn’t want you to attend the funeral of a fallen veteran.
Sounds like a stand-up dude.
Elijah used to be… different. He wasn’t always like this.
Are you going to go?
I leaned my head against the headboard as a dull pounding grew behind my eyes. Wasn’t that the magic question? Elijah made it clear that my job would be in jeopardy, and I needed that job. There was no way around that.
… no, I’m not.
Cadence…
I can’t.
I can’t throw everything away right now. I can only hope that Noah understands. I will visit him once I can make it back home.
If that’s what you think is the best. Only you can decide that for yourself.
I know…
Thanks.
What for?
Helping me through my decision.
I did nothing.
You listened. Sometimes, that’s all someone needs.
I’m here to listen anytime.
His words spread a soothing warmth in my heart. Whether he meant it or not, the idea of his presence alone was comforting. He was so detached from my life that it made it easier for me to share these intimate details with him.
The door handle turned and Elijah waltzed in, completely oblivious that I wasn’t a massive fan of his right now.
“Oh, hey, babe. You’re still up.”
“Yeah, getting ready to lie down.”
“Perfect timing then.”
I watched him strip down to his boxers, my eyes traveling over his exposed skin.
He’d always been in shape, which showed in every muscle he’d carved out from exercising.
Looking at him now, there was no mistaking that I still found him extremely attractive.
His groomed chest hair was just enough to make him more manly and his blue eyes always drew me in.
However, not even that overshadowed the disgust for him that settled in my stomach.
He climbed into bed next to me and leaned over. Touching my cheek, he pressed his mouth to mine.
I felt nothing.
My lips automatically kissed him back, but it lacked the usual passion I carried for him.
I reached over to click off my lamp and slide down into the cool sheets.
Thank you.
I plugged my phone in and set it down before turning away and willing myself to sleep.
My mind continued to turn, looping my thoughts through like a bad rerun.
If I didn’t go to Noah’s funeral because of Elijah and, inadvertently, his family, how would I be able to look at him and not resent him for keeping me from telling Noah goodbye?
How could I pretend this was okay and that I wasn’t wounded by him?
How would I act like our relationship was the same after this?