Chapter 20 #2
“I’m sure I will. Once I meet my dream guy. But right now, dating is off the table.”
Jade scrunched her nose up. “So, there isn’t anyone you have in mind? Is there anyone you think you might like? Even a little? Someone you already talk to?”
Okay. That’s an oddly specific question.
“Jade. Just tell me what you’re asking.” I laughed. “Stop beating around the bush and overthinking it. You know I’ll tell you.”
“Okay, okay. How do you feel about Damien?”
The mention of his name made my stomach flip. But I couldn’t say that. Not with her crush involved.
“Why?”
“Well.” She paused. “I think he might like you. A lot actually. But you had a boyfriend, and I know neither of you would cross that line. But now… you’re officially single.”
“I’d never go for him because you’re into him.”
“But that’s not fair to either of you. I refuse to be the person to stand between two people I care about and cause them to be miserable. So, answer the question. How do you feel about him?”
I bit my lower lip. Had he crossed my mind during my breakup with Elijah?
Of course. But I wasn’t planning on jumping from my six-year relationship to a relationship with someone else.
“I barely had enough emotional awareness to reign in how I felt about Elijah. I definitely didn’t have a chance to analyze any feelings for Damien. ”
“I’ll make it easy. Do you like him?”
“How do you even define that? Do I enjoy talking to him? Yeah. Do I like to see him? Sure. Do I want to spend more time with him? Yes, I’d say I do.”
“Do you want to fuck him?” She spoke the words without blinking. Utterly unfazed by them.
“Uh…”
“I take your blush and your inability to form an answer as a yes. So, you find him attractive?”
“God, yes.”
“Then it’s pretty obvious. You like him.”
I pulled my brows down as my heart beat faster in my chest. “Where is all of this coming from? Why would you assume he likes me? Which, by the way, is so far from the truth. Did you ask him a bunch of weird questions and put together your own theory? Kinda like you’re doing now?”
“No, I didn’t. I didn’t have to. I just paid attention.”
“Yeah, okay,” I said sarcastically.
“If you don’t think he likes you, then why haven’t you told him about you and Elijah breaking up?”
I frowned. “How do you know I haven’t?”
“Because I mentioned helping move you back home this morning, and he literally said, ‘She didn’t tell me that’. So why didn’t you?”
“I… I don’t know.”
Jade scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Well, I think you’ve liked him for a while, and vice versa. Probably since this summer when you two were all angry and flirty with each other.”
I grunted, trying to be offended by what she was insinuating. “That’s so not how it was.”
“Uh. Yeah, okay. How’s the water in ‘da-Nile’?”
I shoved her playfully. “You’re ridiculous. Besides, I’m not getting in the way of your happiness. Wait. You texted him?”
“Definitely not the point here.”
“I can’t fathom having feelings for a guy that you like, Jade.”
“Ah. I’m slowly putting the pieces together.
” She squeezed my hand, her brown eyes pleading with mine.
“You don’t need to worry about me. When I saw him last week, I confessed my feelings.
He was considerate and let me down easy, but once I realized where his true interest lay, I had no feelings left.
It might seem like I’m suddenly over him, but it’s only because I figured out what my heart actually wanted.
” She paused. “As for your other point, trust me. He wants you. He asked me about you every day this week. Which only further demonstrates that it wasn’t me he was looking at, but you. ”
I squeezed my eyes shut, overwhelmed by what she was trying to suggest. The butterflies in my stomach had officially taken flight.
Once again, I was being pulled in two opposite directions.
This time, it was Jade’s words that conflicted me.
Was it possible for her to suddenly be over Damien and be okay with…
whatever we could be? I realized she would be ecstatic for me as long as I was happy, but how was it fair for me to find my joy when that same act would cause her sadness?
I couldn’t do it.
“Don’t, Cay. Don’t play martyr. Look at me.”
I met her steel gaze with my own.
“I know what you are thinking. You don’t want to hurt me, and I love you for that. But I can’t choose who Damien wants. Only he can. And he picked you, not me. So how can I be upset if you choose him, too? I was never part of the equation.”
“I don’t know, Jade.”
“You don’t know what?”
“It feels icky.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “Icky? What are we, five?”
“Don’t make fun! I just don’t know what it’s like to be with someone who isn’t Elijah. How to want someone else. And add in the potential to hurt you, too? Ick.”
“So, go see. Stop worrying about me.”
“What?”
“Go find out! Spend time with him. Explore the chemistry you two have and determine if it is something worth pursuing. You don’t have a reason not to.”
“Jade… I…”
“You and Elijah are no longer together, and I’m telling you to go. Those are the reasons you are saying no, and they don’t apply anymore! The only person holding you back is you.”
I rubbed my fingers along the seam of my comforter. “I wouldn’t know how to start.”
The corners of Jade’s mouth curled deviously.
“That’s the simple part. The hard part was getting you to agree.
” She rolled onto her back, grabbed her phone off the nightstand, and pulled up a message thread.
“I’ll have you know, Damien isn’t the only member of Rebel Rebellion that I talk to.
And according to Colton, they are on their way to Los Angeles.
” She moved her phone away from her face. “Doesn’t Liam live there?”
“Yeah, he does.”
“Perfect! Hop on a flight and visit your friend. A.K.A. —Go see your man!”
“Jade. I can’t just up and leave. There is so much to do here. Plus, what about you?”
“Why, yes, yes you can. I’ll be fine. I’ll hang out here and look for apartments, Roomie.” Her fingers flew across the glass display of her phone. “I told Colton he and I are now in cahoots to get you and Damien together.”
“Jade!”
“What? You didn’t consider that we’d need help to get insider info? Besides, Colton says Damien has been in a terrible mood, so he will try anything to pull the stick from his ass.”
I rolled onto my back. “Ugh! You’re impossible.”
“I know.” She smiled. “It’s another reason you love me so much.”
“So, you and Colton, huh? Is that where your heart truly lies?”
“Don’t change the topic.”
“Fine. Don’t tell me. I’m done with this conversation. Goodnight.” I heard Jade giggle as I squeezed my eyes shut again.
“We’ll revisit this in the morning. Night. Love you.” Her words were laced with smugness.
“Love you, too,” I grumbled, trying like hell to concentrate on relaxing my toes enough to fall asleep.
The next morning, Jade woke before I did.
Which meant…
When I walked into the kitchen, I was bombarded with flight times to LA, all the reasons I should ‘live my life’—which included a message from Colton explaining how they’d convinced Damien to stay in a hotel instead of sleeping on the bus tomorrow night—and a hot cup of coffee.
“So, what are you waiting for?” she asked.
And I honestly didn’t have an answer.