Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Damien
Violet wasn’t doing well.
I sat in the back of our bus with my head in my hands with Jodie’s message open on my phone next to me. I was wonderfully alone. But considering I’d been shit for company these last few days, I wasn’t surprised.
Vi had been admitted once again with severe bronchitis and the doctors were worried. Her body was going through hell with chemo and the infection was wreaking even more havoc.
I had half a mind to put her in a damn bubble until she completed treatment.
Pressing my palms into my eye sockets, I let out a growl.
Useless.
I was completely useless.
Here I was, prancing around the country while Violet neared her death bed. I claimed I would do anything for her and the kids, but if that was true, I’d be there now—despite the guilt trip she played on me so I’d keep touring.
But I knew myself.
Losing her terrified me. So I avoided seeing her suffer.
The idea of a world without Violet was impossible to wrap my head around. We weren’t typical siblings. She was the closest thing to a mother I had.
And I’d let her down before.
Growing up, I watched Vi drop out of school to get a job. Put up with abusive men to keep food on our table and a roof over our head. She did the unthinkable to make sure I never went without and I’d wanted to take that responsibility from her. I wanted to provide for her.
But when I turned seventeen, I’d gotten in with the wrong crowd and spent two years of my life putting more gray hair on Violet’s head than she deserved. I had an idea how to make big money quick with the only way I knew how—selling drugs.
I’d been distracted and didn’t realize Violet and Grant’s dad, Thomas, were seeing each other again. Something I would have fought had I been in the right mindset.
He’d manipulated her into thinking he needed help, needed her. He abused her in small spurts at first. A push or shove, but then break down into tears after. So, when he went completely psycho on her, she hadn’t been expecting it. He’d beaten her so brutally that both she and Maylee almost died.
Thomas ran after leaving Violet on the floor in a pool of her own blood. It was a miracle she’d been able to call the police and get the help she needed.
Images from the night May was born flashed through my mind.
Violet bloodied and barely breathing as paramedics loaded her and her unborn baby into an ambulance.
Grant huddled in the corner, bruises scattering his tiny body as tears streamed down his face.
It looked like he had been man-handled, but I knew that the deepest scars that little boy carried were in his memories.
Had I been there, I could have stopped it.
But I was too late.
Violet had welcomed Maylee into this world unconscious and with an emergency c-section that saved both of their lives.
From that day forward, I promised myself I’d protect Vi and the little family she’d created.
So, if Violet died, what would I have left?
Where would the kids go?
What would I do if I lost them all?
I would lose my reason for living.
It was more than I could bear. Pain radiated from my chest to every limb in my body.
Picking my phone up, I sought some form of comfort.
When Grant answered my FaceTime call on the third ring, I could finally take a breath.
“Hey, bud.”
“Hi, Uncle Damien.”
“How is everything? How is basketball?”
“Is that really what you called for?”
Typical teenager. So much fucking sass, but the banter made me feel alive again. “Of course. If I wanted to check on your mom, I’d have called Jodie. Now. Tell me about basketball. Have you perfected your 3-pointer? Think you’re ready for the game tonight?”
Grant scrunched up his face, deciding whether or not I was bullshitting him.
I wasn’t. Fourteen was a tough age. It was when you started high school and figured out how hot girls were.
I remembered those days. And I didn’t want Grant to think he didn’t have anyone to talk to.
I wanted to be there for him when his piece of shit dad couldn’t.
“It’s been good. Mom won’t be able to make it, obviously. But hopefully, she can come to one game before the season is over. Parent night is in two weeks, but I doubt she’ll feel better by then.”
I wouldn’t let him be alone on parent night. Not when the other team members would be surrounded by their family. I mentally checked my calendar, already canceling anything on it. I had no clue what I had for breakfast, much less what I was doing in two weeks, but I’d make it work.
I made another note to be there for more games before the season ended. And what was Maylee into these days? Ballet? Cheerleading? I’d need to show my support for her, too.
“And that shot?”
“Oh, yeah. I think I have the best 3-pointer on the junior varsity.”
“That’s great, Grant. I can’t wait to see it in action.”
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about coming to watch me play. I know you’re busy. Everyone has things they have to do.”
“I might not make every game. But I’ll be there for as many as I can. I promise.
“Thanks, Uncle Damien.”
“So, have your eye on any cute cheerleaders? Isn’t it about time for you to find a girlfriend?” A light shade of red crossed his cheeks, and I grinned. “Tell me about her.”
Grant glanced away from the phone. “Well… there isn’t much to tell. Her name is Savannah. She’s a cheerleader, and really popular. I don’t think I’m even on her radar. But I swear, she looked at me during our last practice.”
I held in the amusement that bubbled up. Oh, to be young and distraught over a girl simply looking at you again.
“At least she can watch you at the games. Who knows, maybe you can ask her out at the end of the season.”
“The cheerleaders don’t cheer at every game, only our home games. The rest of the time, they practice for their competitions.”
“So, do we need to crash one of these competitions? I’ll go with you, be your wingman.”
Grant laughed. “No. Only the guys who date the cheerleaders go to the competitions. Anyone else is just creepy.”
“Who knew things from high school would change so much?”
“It’s because you’re old. I’ve been telling you this.”
“I am not old. At least not that old. You should see the stuff I have to do on stage. It’s like a damn acrobatics routine.”
“I’ve been to one of your shows. You don’t do anything crazy.”
“You’re fourteen. You don’t know everything.”
“I know enough.”
“Geez, you’re stubborn.”
“Must be something in the blood.”
I barked out a laugh. “Whatever, go get ready for your game. And good luck. Don’t worry, you’ll kick ass tonight.”
“Thanks, Uncle Damien.”
Grant ended our conversation and left me staring at my call log.
Naturally, once I quieted one source of my uneasiness, I fixated on the other. Cadence’s name drew my gaze from when she called me a week ago.
I swallowed, my finger hovering over her name, itching to hit it.
She had shut me out after that. Withdrawn completely.
Jade kept me in the loop though, after accidentally letting it slip that Cadence and Elijah had officially broken up, assuming I already knew. I’d gotten a little worried about Cadence when I heard nothing from her, especially after the conversation we’d had.
Elijah. What a fucking idiot.
Did he not realize what he had? What he’d just let go?
If he hadn’t figured it out by now, he would soon. The question was, though, what would Cadence do when he came crawling back?
And what did her being single mean for me?
I drummed my fingers on my leg as I bit the inside of my cheek. My body becoming twitchy and restless.
Over the past few days, I’d reached for my phone to check on her more times than I cared to admit. But each time I stopped myself. I refused to chase after someone unavailable.
Not that I was chasing.
I didn’t know what I was doing.
I wanted to give her space while giving myself space.
I thought about her too much—the sound she made when she laughed, how she always smelled like fresh apples, and how her smile warmed my heart.
I couldn’t forget how I dreamed about her lips on mine or fantasized about being between her thighs.
But all of that did no one any good, and I had to stop.
Somehow.
And now, with her leaving Elijah—the main reason I’d never allowed myself to succumb to my desires—had disappeared.
Sure, I didn’t want to become attached to anyone or let them into my world, but those reasons for holding back were much easier to push aside in the heat of the moment. I could easily rationalize those away once I had Cadence in my arms, and give in to my carnal need for her.
I was fickle like that.
This meant that I needed to get myself in check sometime between now and the next time I saw her. I had to make sure I would respect her boundaries.
Deep down, though, I realized nothing would hold me back once I caught her alone again.
We had chemistry.
A pull.
Magnets drawn to one another with no way to control it.
It had been there since we first met this past summer.
And that attraction would be what drove us into territory we’d never be able to come back from.
Once I had her, I’d never let go.
I put my hands in my hair and tugged. I should be concentrating on my vocals, how to sell more merch, or how to set up faster. Not contemplating how Cadence’s breakup affected me.
Get it together, Damien.