Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Cadence
“Why do I keep doing this to myself?” I groaned as a wave of nausea washed over me.
I hadn’t planned on going out last night and getting completely trashed. But Jade had dragged me to a cute bar downtown and kept feeding me shots.
So, it was her fault.
“Curse you, Jade,” I murmured as I turned off the alarm reminding me of my guitar lessons with Dave at the store.
I sent him a quick text telling him I wouldn’t make it in and dove back under the covers.
There was absolutely no way this hot mess was getting out of bed.
When I finally resurfaced, it was past noon. The pounding in my head had settled a little, and my stomach wasn’t quite so queasy.
Definitely a step in the right direction.
After some breakfast and a shower, I’d feel like myself.
But as I leaned over the sink and looked into the mirror in my bathroom, my puffy eyes reminded me of the reason why I’d gotten drunk in the first place.
Drowning out my pain had seemed like a good idea at the time… When in reality, I just needed to mourn the situationship and move on.
I had to let him go.
So why couldn’t I?
The black hoodie rumpled on the floor in the corner caught my eye.
I still hadn’t given it back to Damien. My intoxicated-side had craved the comfort the soft material brought and to feel close to him again, while the barely-there sober side of me had realized he was the reason I was drunk in the first place.
Looking at it now, I pushed down the urge to pick it up once again, and pull it over my head.
Instead, I closed the bathroom door behind me without touching the thing at all.
As I moved through the kitchen, making scrambled eggs and coffee, I listened for Jade. Her bedroom door was shut, and I heard no sound behind the wood.
She hadn’t left a note or anything, but maybe she had an errand to run.
Through the alcoholic haze from last night, I remembered her being on her phone a lot. I’d figured it was Colton. But I’d never seen her so glued to it before.
Did they have a fight?
I’d have to ask her about it later.
As I ate, I scrolled through my social media, checked my email, and even browsed the newest book releases at Barnes and Noble. Nothing caught my attention.
I was absolutely bored out of my mind.
Was this really how the rest of my life would be? Sitting here, moving in slow motion, while everyone around me lived their lives?
Sighing, I allowed my thoughts to wander to Damien. He hadn’t reached out since he came by yesterday morning. Did he drive straight back to Michigan? I hoped he got some sleep at least.
I couldn’t help it, I worried about him.
Everything that had happened wouldn’t stop me from caring for him—at least not overnight.
I only ever wanted to be important to him. For him to think about me without being prompted, for him to share things with me—real things.
To be special to him.
Had he opened up? Yes, absolutely. He told me about Vanessa and how their relationship had ended, talked a little about his family, and mentioned Violet’s cancer coming back. But it was always in passing, and he never shared the details.
And when it truly mattered and I needed him to talk to me, he didn’t. Like I didn’t have a say in the situation, despite it involving me.
And that’s what hurt the most.
I was so tired of the men in my life thinking I couldn’t make decisions for myself.
Sure, he was telling me about it now, but that didn’t change the circumstances. I was still the one who pushed our friendship forward. I was the one who made the effort. All he had to do was communicate. Nothing he told me yesterday made up for that.
In LA, he never told me how he felt, only hinted at things getting serious, but I’m not a mind reader. If he really wanted a relationship with me, he would have included me so we could have figured it out—together.
And now, it was too late.
All I saw when I looked at him was six months of misery.
My phone vibrated on the table, and I grabbed it, eager for human contact.
Blake
Get yourself dolled up and meet me at Stadium Club at 5. And I mean it, look your best.
Suspicion hovered over me. She wanted me to look my best. Why?
Random. What gives?
Come on. It’s a surprise. Do you really want to ruin it?
Hm. Have you been talking to Jade? I’m not as gullible as you think I am.
I’m not convinced this doesn’t have anything to do with a particular musician.
Ugh. You’re impossible.
It’s Liam.
He’s here.
Happy now?
Gasping, I couldn’t stop the smile that split my face in two. For the first time in months, I was genuinely excited.
You’re not messing with me, are you? Why can’t we get together now?
He can’t meet us until dinner.
Of course. Mr. Popular.
I guess I can wait.
I’m excited to see you. It’s been a while!
Make sure you bring Jade, too. We haven’t all hung out in forever.
I’ll text her now.
My grin continued as I messaged Jade and told her about tonight’s plans.
With something to look forward to, I skipped into my room to get ready.
Stadium Club was packed as I scanned the crowd, looking for my friends. When I saw them gathered around the pool tables, I grabbed Jade’s hand and dragged her with me.
“Liam!” I shouted as he turned, and I threw my arms over his shoulders.
“Cadence. You made it!”
We pulled apart and I let my gaze travel over his shaggy brown hair and crystal blue eyes, drinking him in greedily. “You should visit more often.”
“I visit enough. Come back to LA.”
“Been there, done that.”
Liam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I remember. Too bad I wasn’t the reason you visited.”
“Actually… about that. Damien and I…”
“It’s okay. Blake made sure to spread it around, so no awkward conversations came up.”
“Like the one we are having now?”
“I’d call this a genuine conversation. One where I ask how you’re doing.”
“It’s silly. Damien and I haven’t been anything in, like, six months.
But it’s finally hitting me. Deep down, he didn’t trust me enough.
He made his decisions without me. I wasn’t the one for him and it hurts.
I know I pushed him away, but this entire time, in the back of my mind, I had hoped that he would fight for me and make it better. ”
Liam crossed his arms. “It’s my understanding that he did.”
“But it didn’t make it better.”
Liam threw his arm around my shoulder. “Don’t tell anyone this, but out of all our friends, you’re my favorite.”
I leaned my head onto him, and even though I realized he was just saying it to say it, the words warmed my heart. “Thanks.”
“Shots!” Erik yelled behind me as he handed everyone a small glass filled with Lord only knew what.
“We haven’t even eaten yet. Isn’t it a little early for this?” Wes asked, looking uncomfortable next to Olivia, who was too involved with her phone to realize what was going on around her.
“Don’t be such a wuss.” Erik thrust the small glass at him. “Just take the shot.”
“I’m always down for a shot.” Jamie looked back at Blake and winked.
She rolled her eyes but smiled. “You know how much I love drunk Jamie.”
Jamie handed Blake a glass and pulled her into him. “You love all the Jamies. Don’t put on a front for our friends.”
He placed a quick but steamy kiss on her lips.
God, they made me sick. They were still so in love.
I was caught between being inspired by their story—how they found each other again after so much heartache—and being jealous that they had everything I wanted.
To be loved and cherished.
If they made it through their suffering, so can you. The stupid voice in the back of my mind reminded me.
Liam leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Barf. Someone should tell them to get a room.”
I giggled and looked over my shoulder at Jade.
But she had disappeared.
I turned out of Liam’s arms and scanned the crowd again, trying to find her, but she was nowhere in sight.
“Bottoms up!” Erik shouted as he held up the shot glass.
Everyone tipped their heads back, followed by coughing and groans. The clear liquid burned as it went down my throat, and that familiar heat made its way through my veins.
“What the hell was that?” Wes asked.
Erik grimaced. “No idea. Just had Kyle give me something cheap and potent.”
“Kyle’s working? He should know better,” Wes said. Kyle was our favorite bartender at Stadium Club and he was always sliding us extra shots.
“You’re an idiot,” Liam said. “That was probably the worst vodka I’ve ever had in my life.”
“Not all of us can afford top shelf. Besides, there are like eleven of us.”
“Erik, I think your math is off. There are only seven.” I shook my head. “Well, six right now. Where the hell did Jade go?”
Blake put her hand on my shoulder. “I’m sure she is fine. Maybe she had a phone call.”
“Alright, guys, the server is bringing out food at our table. Let’s get some grub before the live music starts,” Jamie said.
I frowned. “I thought live bands only played on Fridays. It’s Sunday.”
Jamie lifted his shoulder. “Not my department. Sorry, Cay.”
As we walked toward the table, Blake wrapped her arm through mine. “None of us could choose what we wanted to eat, so we ordered a little of everything and decided to eat it family style.”
“Family style?”
“Yeah, where everyone eats everything. Like, ‘Hey, pass the mac and cheese,’ although in this case it would be nachos, but you get the idea.”
“I love that. Sounds like the best way to eat out. Family style.”
“Exactly!”
I sat beside Blake and left the seat next to me open for Jade. She found us once we started passing dishes around.
“Ugh, I’m starving.”
“Where were you? You missed the first round of shots.”
“Sorry, I had to talk to Colton.”
“Are you two okay? You were on the phone a lot yesterday, too. I was worried.”
Jade’s eyes glazed over a bit as the corners of her mouth lifted. “Perfect. We are perfect.”
Apparently, I laughed a little too loud because she frowned at me. “What? Can’t a girl be smitten?”
“Yes, I’m just being a party pooper. Ignore me and my cynicism.”