Chapter 21 #3
She was leaning back against the desk when I came out of the restroom. The smile on her face, the look of satisfaction, and the idea of us having a shared secret called to me.
“What was up with you ditching me this morning?” I had to know.
Nastasia shrugged. “Was I supposed to hang around?”
“You could’ve,” I said. “I wouldn’t have thrown you out.”
“We’re not together, Zeke. It was just sex. This was just sex. It’s what you do, right? Why make it bigger than it has to be,” Nastasia said.
She wasn’t wrong. Casual sex was what I did.
But it wasn’t what I wanted with her.
“So, you’re going on more dates?” I wanted to know as I fixed my cuffs.
Again, Nastasia shrugged. “He was nice. We had a good conversation before I ditched him. If not him, I’m sure there’ll be someone else. In the meantime, we can have our fun.”
Fun. To be reduced to just a fling. It didn’t sit right with me.
I didn’t know how to say it, but I wanted more.
“This isn’t my strength,” I admitted.
Nastasia sighed, folding her arms. “We can’t be friends now, can we?”
I shook my head, not even about to pretend I could stomach that. With Regina it wasn’t like I had a choice, but even still, that was different than this. This wasn’t just lust. I liked Nastasia, a lot.
“I don’t want to hate you, Ezekiel,” Nastasia admitted. “This was a bad idea from the start. I should’ve just done the one-night stand and washed my hands of it.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No, I fucked up by getting to know you, which is so me.”
“Could be worse.”
“Could be smarter,” she shot back. “I like you. You’re fun to hang out with, you’re smart, you’re attractive, and you’re a gentleman. I can’t leave my feelings or my heart out of this now.”
Vulnerability wasn’t my strong suit, but it was all or nothing with Nastasia, I could tell.
“I didn’t like you going on a date with another man.
I didn’t like you ignoring me all day,” I said, laying my cards bare.
I knew she was worried, but I wasn’t here to hurt her, use her, or play any games.
“I don’t need you to come into my life and build me up and make things better.
I don’t need you to come fix me and heal any traumas—I don’t have any.
I just want you. I haven’t talked to anyone else since I met you, and I don’t want to talk to anyone else since I know you.
As far as I’m concerned, you’ve been mine. ”
She didn’t smile or break character. Impressive. Instead, she lifted her chin with dignity. “You could say please.”
I wanted her over my desk again. “Can we please make this official? Titles and all that?”
At once, she melted, going soft for me. Hell, I felt soft at the sight of her not rejecting me.
It was hard to put into words. I loved bold, sexy women with strong presences or loud personalities.
But something about Nastasia and her cute little disposition made me smile.
The way she got excited to discuss a movie.
The way she was a food fanatic. The way she was easy to talk to and just be with.
She never put up a front with me, and I never bothered to charm her.
We didn’t try, we just were, and it worked.
“Are you sure about this, Ezekiel?” Nastasia asked, her defenses down.
“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.” And that shit tripped me up.
Nastasia looked to the ground as she hugged herself. “I’m boring.”
If she was trying to warn me or scare me away, it wasn’t working. I didn’t need over-the-top and high maintenance.
I went and stood in front of her, lifting her chin with my finger so that we could see eye to eye. “Well, I wanna be boring with you.”
She searched my eyes for meaning and I didn’t have the ego to put up a front. “After all this time, you’re really ready for a committed relationship?”
“Yes. I like you more than I planned, and I don’t want to stop,” I said. “This can go up or down, but I’m willing to try.”
“I’m nervous.”
“Same.”
“You’re nervous?”
“Hell yeah.”
Nastasia smiled and reached out and held my face in her hands. “What, are you afraid of little ol’ me?”
“Truth? I’m scared. Any game or any hustle, I win. But love? That’s the biggest gamble of all. My parents been down for thirty, and I guess I’m just scared I won’t get that. That mine won’t last. I always win, but what if I lose my heart?”
“That’s the problem. Love isn’t a game, and you shouldn’t treat it as such.” Nastasia stood back and extended her hand. “You treat me good and I’ll treat you good. Okay? It can be that simple.”
In a corny move, we did our little handshake we’d constructed, putting a smile on both our faces.
“So, how much do I owe you?” I prompted as I hung back.
Nastasia was confused. “For…?”
I grinned. “Those panties.”
She made a face. “I’ll send you a bill.” She moved around me and headed for the door. “For now, I’m going to go home and take a shower.”
“Can I come by when I’m done?” Honestly, I didn’t need to sleep with her again. I just liked the idea of waking up next to her. I didn’t work in the morning, and neither did she.
Nastasia tossed me a curt look over her shoulder. “You better.”
And just like that, we were solid.
It really could be so simple.