Chapter 48 Talking To Stone （No Offense）
Talking To Stone (No Offense)
Sky’s tombstone.
“I guess I’m here to talk to you. So I can find some sort of closure.”
I unfold the picnic towel I brought and lay it in front of the stone.
“So, leaving without an explanation? Kind of fucked up if you ask me.” I lean against my hands behind my back, holding myself up. “I’m sorry for calling you every curse word I know.” I bite my lip and shrug. “But in my defense, I thought you were a deadbeat.”
I listen to the birds chirping in nearby trees and let the sun take the sadness out of me.
Turns out eight years’ worth of grief all bundled up in a couple of weeks can undo a person a little.
Teddy, my therapist, has been seeing me three times a week, and the first session was horrible.
It’s always the hardest, but once I get over that barrier, it turns out I’m more capable of emotions than I thought.
In a twisted way, knowing my mom loved me made me have some initiative, my therapist says she’s been looking for ever since I started seeing her.
Now, of course, it’s not all undone in two weeks.
This will probably take months or even years for me to process it all correctly.
I don’t know, everyone has different timings.
“Teddy, my therapist, liked that I challenged myself this summer. She also said I have abandonment issues thanks to your stunt, so thanks.” I tap the towel, looking for reasons why this isn’t crazy.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to blame everything on you.
” I focus on a grass strand. “You saved Jake. Supposedly, I’m still a bit skeptical about all of this.
” Pause. “But if you did save him, was it a sign that I should take my second chance? With him?”
I exhale loudly and lie on the towel, looking at the small clouds in the sky.
A small breeze cools me from the heat coming from the sun, and I just lie in silence, forgetting where I am for a moment. When I open my eyes, I freeze.
Am I seeing things? Is this some kind of joke?
I swear to god, I’m seeing a heart-shaped cloud in the sky.
“Okay, that’s crazy.” I take out my phone and take a picture of it, just so I know I’m not going crazy.
“I’m just rambling and telling you all of this so I can avoid the real conversation.
” I start twisting a patch of grass, absentmindedly.
“I think I never stopped caring about you, but the fine line between hate and love is really blurry, right now.” I gulp.
“Even though I know the truth now… I guess I still resent you. For leaving like you did.”
I get up, deciding it’s time to go, for now, and knowing this was a huge step for me.
I stare at her description on the stone and can’t help but smile.
Mother, wife, and Mailview’s Jump Winner of ‘98.