Chapter 47 My Mom’s Gonna Destroy My Bike
My Mom’s Gonna Destroy My Bike
Jake
“Madelaine…” I’m dreaming again. And she keeps telling me those words. But I’m home, and it’s been a week, and I don’t know if I’m being delusional or not.
“Love?” My mom peeks through the door, and I rub the back of my head.
I love my mom truly, but she has been babying me since the accident, which is understandable.
I’m the better child after all. But also, I can’t breathe!
I can’t look at screens, I’m barely allowed to get out of bed, and I just stare at the ceiling all day while she practically mouth-feeds me.
Even though I’m fine. I’m playing the town’s charity football game next week.
My doctors cleared me too, doing every CT possible and confirming my head is okay. “Brought you chicken nuggets.”
“Thanks, mom.”
She lays the tray on my bedside table, then sits on the side of the bed.
“Oh, just got confirmation that Uncle Richard and company are coming for your eighteenth. Katie bought those tickets with her music money. Have you talked to her yet?”
Yeah, my cousin Mary Kate, who’s also an aspiring singer, recently got her number one hit with DEXTR after years of yearning for success in her dream.
The thing about famous relatives is that you don’t know if you’re successful because of them or because you actually have talent.
And she understands me. She was like this for years until her tape got into the hands of a record label in London, and then she met Dexter in a club and together made the hit song of the summer.
But I’m embarrassed, I guess. And scared, I won’t be as good as her.
I think I’m a talented guitar player, but do my lyrics lack substance?
I don’t want to be her shadow. I want to stand on my own.
Besides, being vulnerable about my dream is hard for me.
Kate sees me as the childish younger cousin who flirted with her friends all the time and doesn’t have a serious bone in his body.
It’s hard for me to show her that hidden, artistic part of me. I don’t know…
“Not really… But I still have a year of school left, so there’s no hurry. Besides, I might get into Delaware, full ride.” I grab the football from my bedside and throw it in the air.
“Do you really have to play next week?” My mom sighs, helpless.
“Mom, don’t give me those eyes. I’ll be fine. The doctors cleared me, and by the way you’re feeding me, I’ll be the best player on the field. Apart from Graham.”
She looks at the ceiling, trying not to cry, and I avoid exhaling too loudly.
“I’m sorry, it’s just you can’t imagine what it was like seeing you like that and the idea of losing you-” She covers her mouth, and I get up and hold both her shoulders.
“I’m here, Mom. I’m not going anywhere. Besides, that gave you the perfect opportunity to get rid of the bike, like you always wanted.”
“Cheers for that. And it’s not destroyed or anything, like I wanted to do. It’s in retirement for a year.” She narrows her eyes at me, still wanting to attack me for the scare I’m sure. “Poor Madelaine, she was devastated…”
“Madelaine… Did she visit me?”
My mom smirks, and I roll my eyes, already regretting asking this.
“Visit you? She stayed in your room for an hour.” My mom throws me the biggest smile, and I hate that she’s making me blush like a schoolboy.
So what I have been dreaming about… I was almost sure she said it, but now I’m convinced.
My mom’s smile drops, and she shifts uncomfortably.
“Love?” She looks me in the eyes, and my heart goes wild with the seriousness in her tone. “Maddie has been having a couple of rough weeks now. She has seen her therapist, and she’s slowly recovering, but I really think she could have someone like you by her side.”
“Of course. I just don’t think- Well, I told her I loved her, and she turned me down. Twice.” I look at my hands and clear my throat.
“I’m sorry. But I don’t think it’s because she doesn’t love you back.” She starts twisting her wedding ring, something she does when she’s nervous. “Jake, Sky didn’t leave them like Maddie always thought. She died. Not long after leaving.”
My head short-circuits.
“I’m sorry, what?” I push the covers back. “You could have started with that!” I put on some pants and dart towards her house, before my mom can stop me.
Unbelievable! That night, when she was clearly burning out, she wasn’t very kind to me, but- Jesus, I could have never guessed that her mom was fucking dead!
I burst through the kitchen door and head straight for the living room. I’m ready when I get there and-
“Where’s Mads? Oh, of course, dipshit, she’s still sleeping… It’s like you don’t even know her.” Hands on my hips, I look around without purpose.
“What are you doing here?” She asks, and my head whips towards her.
“Hey.” I stutter.
“Hi.” She glances down, fully dressed and showered.
Suspicious.
“Look, I know things are-”
“Weird?”
“Cringe?”
Blake and Brandon helpfully add.
“Well, yeah. But I know.” I tell her, and her eyes darken.
Then she looks at the twins and points outside.
I nod, and the twins couldn’t care less, going back to their game.
I close the door behind me and don’t give it a second thought.
I wrap my arms around her, and she takes a few seconds to react.
“I don’t know if this is allowed, but I hope it’s enough.”
She hugs me back and buries her face in my chest, just the way I like it.
“I thought you were gonna say, So you’re mom’s dead… That sucks.” She chuckles, and it’s the best sound I can hear right now.
“I knew you remembered that.”
“Well, it’s like the only funny thing you’ve ever said…” She claps back, and I rest my chin on top of her head.
“I’m sorry.” She says, and I move my thumb up and down her back.
“I know.”
“Jake, I’m still confused. And it’s not fair to you.”
“It’s okay.” I’ll wait. I step away a bit just so I can look at her face. “You coming to my game?”
“Why would I pass up an opportunity to see you being tackled?” She jokes.
“Okay, hilarious.”
She sighs.
“We’re okay, right?” She asks, hesitant.
“No.” I say earnest and I feel her breath hitch, so I whisper. “I’m kidding.”
“Jake!” She pushes me, but I don’t let her get away.
I want to tell her. The thing I heard her say when I was unconscious, or maybe conscious, I don’t know. But I’m scared too. That she’ll reject me once and for all, and I’ll be doomed to watch the love of my life pass me by.