Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Driving home, the car was full of thick, uncomfortable tension. So thick you could almost reach out and touch it. There was silence, mostly, to start with and then things became even more awkward when Felicity started fiddling around with the buttons on the radio to break the atmosphere. It quickly became clear the entire universe had a vested interest in what was going on between them. On every single channel – or so it seemed – there was a cringeworthy love song with words that spoke right into their situation.
When ‘Careless Whisper’ by George Michael started up, she turned it off altogether. Cringing as she did so of course. Because you never turn off ‘Careless Whisper’.
Oh God. Sorry, George.
She had to find a way to pull this back.
‘So,’ Felicity blurted out when they were almost back at her place.
‘So,’ he said, and, although she didn’t dare look at him, she could hear a slight smile in his voice. Her heart leapt.
‘Thanks for a lovely night, Mr Penguin Man. I absolutely loved that restaurant. What an incredible place. I can’t believe you went to all that trouble. And you really didn’t need to pay but… but I really appreciate it. Best non-date ever.’
‘No problem.’
‘I just hope I didn’t ruin it.’
James pulled into the parking spot opposite her block and switched off the engine. They both stared straight ahead for a moment into the darkness of the night, which was lit only by an insipid orange street lamp, and then turned to look at each other at the same time and giggled.
He turned away again and spoke to the windscreen in front of him. ‘You didn’t ruin anything. I’m honoured you told me. I’m just a bit more cautious around women these days and, well, you know the reason why.’
She studied the side of his lovely face.
‘I do,’ she said, solemnly.
‘And… date or not,’ he continued, turning to look at her with such intensity this time that Felicity drew in a breath, ‘it’s complicated. For both of us. Like I said before, whatever it is that’s still between the two of you, whatever’s between you and this Adam guy, sort it out, okay? Just talk to him, spend some time with him, do whatever you need to do to work out if it’s really over.’
She opened her mouth to object and then shut it again.
‘No, don’t argue with me. I know it’s not your fault, I’m guessing he’s the one who is wanting to be back in your life, not the other way round, but you owe it to yourself to find out for sure. Trust me, you’ll regret it if you don’t.’
She looked at him, his blue-grey eyes half hidden in the shadows cast by the street lights outside, his lovely brow furrowed as he stared at her, his Brad Pitt lips. What did he mean? She knew it probably wasn’t the right moment and they were both so full of pastry… but despite what they had just been talking about, she found she was longing for him to kiss her.
He seemed to want it too. He was looking intently at her lips. In fact, he was leaning in. This is happening , thought Felicity, as he moved towards her, the air crackling between them and then, at virtually the last moment, he seemed to change his mind. He brushed her cheek softly with his lips, she got a waft of his aftershave, and her stomach did another little flip. He stayed close for a moment or two longer, his face right near hers, and then he seemed to collect himself and moved away and that was the end of the non-date or whatever it was. Felicity took a deep breath, her heart pounding.
‘As far as I’m concerned, it’s long over,’ she said quietly, hating herself for even articulating this. ‘But you’re right when you say that I probably need to make sure Adam knows that…’
Her voice tailed off. He nodded curtly in agreement, or thanks, it was hard to tell, and she opened the car door and told herself to leave even though her body didn’t seem to want to. Eventually she sighed and forced herself to clamber out in what she hoped was not a completely ungraceful manner. As she wobbled her way across the car park in her moderately high heels, she could feel his eyes on her. Burning into her.
Be sexy.
Wiggle your hips or something.
Don’t look back.
And whatever you do, Felicity, don’t fall over.
But even as that last thought popped into her head, the worst happened.
One minute she was upright and wiggling for all she was worth, the next she had a face full of grass.
Well, that’s that then.